Fit For The King: LeBron James and the Lakers Form Hollywood’s Ultimate Marriage

It’s Hollywood’s ultimate celebrity marriage: the best and brightest star joining the league’s glitziest franchise. With his latest seismic signing as a free agent, LeBron James gives the Lakers new life. But will he ever get the help he’ll need to raise their 17th banner?

Latest News

BEST DEAL UPDATE:

Get the perfect pair of shoes at SKECHERS! Shop the latest casual & performance styles for men, women, and kids now!

David and Victoria Beckham Celebrate 19 Years of Marriage Amid Divorce Speculation

David and Victoria Beckham are celebrating a milestone amid speculation they had seperated.

The couple enjoyed their 19th wedding anniversary on Wednesday with a romantic dinner together.

The soccer star, 43, shared a photo of the couple smiling and holding hands at a restaurant in Paris on Instagram.

“19 Years WOW … This time 19 years ago I was dressed from head to toe in purple 🤔 …,” he wrote in the caption, referencing his brightly colored reception suit. “Happy anniversary to the most amazing wife & mummy … Love You x @brooklynbeckham@romeobeckham @cruzbeckham #HarperSeven.”

Victoria, 44, shared the same photo and shared her own message in the caption, writing, “19 years!!! X I love u so much x.”

The fashion designer also shared photos of gifts the couple received from their children including silver balloons and bouquets of flowers for the special occasion.

The power couple share children Brooklyn, 19, Romeo, 15, Cruz, 13 and daughter Harper, 6.

“Lucky mummy and daddy,” she wrote in the caption.

To end the night, the pair enjoyed dinner at a restaurant in Paris where they enjoyed a bottle of 1990 Chateau Lafite Rothschild.

“Special wine for a very special day x,” Victoria wrote in the caption, alongside some heart emojis. 

The couple’s anniversary comes in the wake of reports by some tabloids that they had separated. The couple has denied they are divorcing.

Reps for the couple said in a statement to multiple outlets: “There is no statement due or divorce. This is just fake social media news. This is all very bizarre and an embarrassing waste of time. There is no statement due, no divorce, and a lot of Chinese whispers and fake social media news.”

The mother of four recently spoke openly about how she balanced her personal and professional life.

“I try really, really hard. I try hardest to be the best mother,” Victoria said at the Forbes Women’s Summit in New York City on Tuesday, according to Hello!.

“I am trying to be the best wife and the best professional. When I get home I try to put the phone down and spend time with the children and spend time with David,” she continued.

RELATED: Victoria Beckham ‘Never Gave Up’ on Marriage to David ‘When Someone Else Might Have,’ Says Source

She also praised her husband, saying, “I have the support of an incredible husband. We really are equal with everything we do at home with the children,” Victoria said. “When I’m away he’s the one doing the school run and doing the cooking.”

A source told PEOPLE last month, “Over the years, Victoria has fought hard for her marriage, and for David.”

“She never gave up when someone else might have,” the insider added.

A rep for the couple previously told PEOPLE that the two were not headed for divorce.

“What nonsense. Journalist Chinese whispers and fake news fueled by social media,” the rep said. “There is no impending statement, no divorce!”

The duo met in the Manchester United players’ lounge in 1997. David was playing for the team at the time, but had not yet become one of the team’s most recognizable stars.

RELATED: Victoria Beckham Says She Is ‘Trying to Be the Best Wife’ to David Beckham Amid Divorce Reports

The duo married in a lavish 1999 wedding at an Irish castle. Last year, the couple renewed their vows in a relatively private ceremony.

In an interview with BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs, David opened up about the special day, while also admitting that “marriage is difficult at times” as he and his wife continue to work hard at their relationship.

“We have renewed our vows since ,” said David, who didn’t elaborate on when the ceremony took place. “It was a lot more private, about six people there in our house.”


PEOPLE.com

Fashion Deals Update:

Queen Elizabeth’s cousin to wed partner, marking royal family’s first gay marriage

Just one month after Prince Harry’s wedding, the royal family is gearing up for another pair of history-making “I dos.”

Lord Ivar Mountbatten, Queen Elizabeth’s third cousin once removed, is set to marry his partner this summer in the private chapel on his country estate, marking the first gay…

/entertainment – New York Daily News

SPECIAL DEALS UPDATE:

New details on Kate Spade’s family and marriage

ABC News

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE:

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Shaun and Rai King Talk Candidly About the Benefits of Marriage Counseling | Black Love | OWN

OWN

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE :

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Does Marriage Cause Diabetes?

Does Marriage Cause Diabetes?

Researchers have discovered a connection between the BMI of one spouse and the other spouse’s risk of developing type 2 diabetes. The researchers therefore believe that efforts to detect undiagnosed diabetes and so-called prediabetes should not focus exclusively on the individual, but also on couples and households.

It can be a good idea to bring your spouse to a GP medical examination if you are…

View On WordPress

WomensHealth.com

BEST DEAL UPDATE:

Queen Gives Instrument of Consent to Harry and Meghan’s Marriage

She approves! Queen Elizabeth II has given her Instrument of Consent, which is her formal approval for Prince Harry to wed Meghan Markle, just one week ahead of their May 19 nuptials.

Buckingham Palace shared an image of the handwritten document on Saturday, May 12. “NOW KNOW YE that We have consented and do by these Presents signify Our Consent to the contracting of Matrimony between Our Most Dearly Beloved Grandson Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales, K.C.V.O., and Rachel Meghan Markle,” the document reads.

The Queen's Instrument of Consent
A picture taken at Buckingham Palace in London on April 12, 2018 shows the text and marginalia of the Instrument of Consent, an official State document that records the Queen’s formal consent to Prince Harry’s forthcoming marriage to Meghan Markle. VICTORIA JONES/AFP/Getty Images

The Instrument of Consent was drafted by the Crown Office and is sealed with the Great Seal of the Realm, and the Queen’s signature, “Elizabeth R,” is featured at the top right of the document. The coronet for Prince Harry, 33, is on the lower left side and the Commonwealth symbol can be found on the lower right side of the document. The design to the right of the text also includes a rose, which is the national flower of the United States. Next to the rose, there are two golden poppies, the flower of California, where Markle, 36, was born. The document will be presented to the pair after the wedding.

Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, Queen Elizabeth II, Royal Wedding
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle on the day they announced their engagement News Licensing / MEGA TheMegaAgency.com

The written approvals are part of the Royal Marriages Act of 1772, which legally requires all of King George II’s direct descendants to receive the monarch’s consent in marriage or the union is considered to be invalid. The Parliament act reads: “A person who (when the person marries) is one of the six persons next in line of succession to the crown must obtain the consent of Her Majesty before marrying.” Harry falls under this category since he is sixth in line for the throne, behind his father Prince Charles, brother Prince William, nephew Prince George, niece, Princess Charlotte, and newborn nephew Prince Louis.

The Queen previously gave her consent for her grandson to marry Markle after a meeting at Buckingham Palace in March. “I declare my consent to a contract of matrimony between my most dearly beloved grandson Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales and Rachel Meghan Markle, which I consent I am causing to be signified under the Great Seal and to be entered in the books of the Privy Council,” the Queen said in a statement at the time.

The royal and the Suits alum announced that they were engaged in November 2017 and will be tying the knot at St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle next weekend.

Us Weekly

BEST DEAL UPDATE:

What Do You Need to Get a Marriage License?

Marriage celebrations can range from destination weddings, traditional marriage ceremonies in churches or other places of worship, simple ceremonies in a backyard or park, and more. Most couples solemnize their vows with a marriage ceremony to celebrate their love for one another.

The first step to getting married is to get your marriage license. The requirements for a marriage license can vary by state, so it’s important to know the basics of the process to make the experience a little easier. Once you have your marriage license, the marriage ceremony can take place. After all the celebrations are finished, the person who officiated your wedding is responsible for filing a marriage certificate with the appropriate recording agency.

In this post, we take a look at the general requirements to get a marriage license and provide some examples of state-specific requirements that you may not have known about.

How to Get a Marriage License in the United States

In order to get married, you need a marriage license. To get a marriage license, you and your future husband or wife need to go to the city hall or county clerk’s office in the city or town where you are planning to get married and pay a fee for the license. Once the application is completed, there can be a waiting period of anywhere from 1–5 days to receive the license.

Once you have your marriage license, you can have your marriage ceremony. Usually, a marriage ceremony needs to take place within 30 to 60 days from the date you got your license, although each state may have their own stipulations on time period.

Examples of general requirements for a marriage license:

  • In most states, you and your partner must be 18 years of age or older in order to get married, and you must be unrelated by blood (you can’t be a direct family member such as brother or sister).
  • All states require you and your fiancé(e) to present proof of identity. This can be any government-issued identification such as your birth certificate, driver’s license, social security number, or passport. Some states and jurisdictions may request a specific type of ID.
  • Proof of termination of any prior marriages may be required to apply for a new marriage license. Usually you can present a divorce decree or final order of divorce as sufficient proof.
  • Decide on your surname so it can be indicated on the marriage license. Neither partner is required to change their surname.

In general, most states also allow you to enter into private agreements prior to marriage. One example would be through a Prenuptial Agreement, which allows the couple to determine things like division of property and/or financial obligations in the event of separation or death.

State Requirements for a Marriage License

Marriage licenses are regulated by each state individually, so the requirements can differ between states.

As an example, Montana requires that women provide proof that they have rubella immunity before the marriage license can be issued. This immunity is usually confirmed with a blood test, and then a doctor’s note would be provided as proof.

This requirement can be waived by providing an informed consent form stating that you both understand the risks of not being tested, but regardless it still needs to be addressed before a woman can marry in the state.

Also, although the majority of states require that the couple be 18 years of age or older in order to apply for a marriage license, Arkansas has more lenient age requirements where the couple can be 16-17 years of age as long as they have parental consent.

It’s in your best interest to understand the state laws that apply to your marriage so you can prevent any surprises or disputes that may occur later on as not all the information is necessarily common knowledge.

Same-Sex Marriage Legalization

As of 2015, same-sex marriage is permitted in all 50 states. This means that lesbian and gay couples technically have the same rights to marriage as opposite-sex couples, so the requirements for a marriage license are generally the same.

A Legal Marriage in the United States

To make sure that you are properly and legally married, it’s important to check your state’s laws to determine what the requirements are. Once you’ve educated yourself on your state’s marriage laws, navigating the marriage process should be a lot easier and potentially hassle-free.

Does your state have interesting requirements for marriage licenses? Share them with us in the comments!

The post What Do You Need to Get a Marriage License? appeared first on LawDepot Blog.

LawDepot Blog

BEST DEAL UPDATE:

The Cars’ Ric Ocasek and Wife Paulina Porizkova Announce Split After 28 Years of Marriage

After 28 years of marriage, The Cars’ former frontman, Ric Ocasek and wife, Paulina Porizkova have decided to call it quits.

On Wednesday, the former supermodel shared on social media – with plenty of car and transportation metaphors – that the couple, who wed in August 1989, have been “peacefully separated for the past year.”

“Our family always has been — and still is — a well-built car,” Porizkova wrote in an Instagram post.

“When the four of us are together, we can go wherever the road takes us. But as a bicycle, my husband and I no longer pedal in unison. So we’re ditching the bicycle,” she continued.

Want to keep up on the latest from PEOPLE? Sign
up for our daily newsletter
to get our best stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.

“Ric and I have been peacefully separated for the past year,” added Porizkova. “The photos of our happy family are, in fact, happy family photos; we are just no longer a couple.”

The Czech-born actress, 53, went on to talk about the love that she and Ocasek, 74, still have for each other. (The pair first met while filming the music video for The Cars’ song “Drive” in 1984.)

“The love we have for one another is so wide and deep it’s practically tangible, and that sort of love can never disappear,” she shared. “Expect to keep seeing happy family photos.”

“As I’m sure you can understand, out of respect for our children and each other, we’ll not be commenting further (here or elsewhere) at this time,” Porizkova concluded the post.

RELATED: Celebrity Divorce Lawyer Laura Wasser Reveals No. 1 Reason Married Celebrities Call It Quits

Last month, the estranged couple —  who have two adult sons together, Jonathan and Oliver — showed a united front at Ocasek’s Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction in Cleveland, Ohio.

At the event, Ocasek and Porizkova, both dressed in sparkly outfits, embraced each other as they posed for pictures.


PEOPLE.com

Fashion Deals Update:

Series captures Serena Williams through life, marriage and health scare

Shortly after Serena Williams gave birth to daughter Olympia in September, she sat in her hospital bed doing her makeup so she could take pictures with her beautiful newborn. But something was wrong. As she stood up, Williams — who has a history of blood clots — couldn’t breathe and asked the nurse for an…
Entertainment | New York Post

SPECIAL DISCOUNT UPDATE:

Kelis Accuses Nas of Physical and Mental Abuse, Details Their Violent Marriage

Kelis, Nas, BET Awards 2006Kelis is addressing what she claims went on behind close doors in her marriage to Nas.
In a new interview with Hollywood Unlocked, the “Milkshake” singer–who was married to the…

E! Online (US) – Top Stories

FASHION DEALS:

Take an Extra 20% off Clearance at Zales.com!

Dear Dad: John on Why Marriage Vows Are Easier Said Than Done | Book of John Gray | OWN

OWN

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE :

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

RHOBH’s Erika Girardi Opens Up About Her Marriage To Tom | PeopleTV

PeopleTV

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE:

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Ryan Reynolds Comments On Marriage Trouble Rumors Like Only He Can

“I wish.”
Entertainment – Latest News, Photos And Videos

Entertainment News


Watch Amber Portwood Yell at Matt Baier on Day 1 of ‘Marriage Boot Camp’

That didn’t take long! Amber Portwood, who is now expecting a baby with boyfriend Andrew Glennon, first tried to make her relationship with Matt Baier work on the upcoming season of Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars Family Edition.

In an exclusive sneak peek of the Friday, March 9, premiere, the Teen Mom OG star, 27, yells at Matt in front of the other celebs, saying that she always “tells the f—king truth” when rehashing what happened in their relationship.

amber-matt-marriage-boot-camp
Amber Portwood and Matt Baier

“There’s more to the story. You’re giving headlines without actually giving the story,” Matt, 47, says. “When you hear the whole story, there’s a lot more to it than what’s on the surface.”

Brandi Glanville nods, seemingly agreeing with Matt.

brandi-marriage-boot-camp
Brandi Glanville on Marriage Boot Camp

“You’re trying to act like everything that I’ve been saying is bulls—t when everything that I’m saying is real … It’s his turn to prove to me that he’s ready to be in a real relationship with a real f—king woman. Listen, I’m telling you the truth,” she says.

Amber’s mother, Tonya, is also part of the show, hoping to patch up her relationship with her daughter.

“I do not think Matt’s an honest guy. He likes to blame Amber for everything and I just wish that Matt was out of the picture,” Tonya, who appears on Teen Mom OG from time to time, says in the confessional.

Brandi, who’s appearing this season with her father, definitely butts head with Amber. “She came for me. I said she was a narcissist and she lunged at me,” Glanville said on Watch What Happens Live on Tuesday, March 7. “Thank God for the Mob Wives! They all jumped in like, ‘Don’t let her hurt Brandi.’ I was taking off my earrings! I was going in.”

Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars Family Edition premiers on We TV Friday, March 9, at 9 p.m. ET.

Us Weekly

BEST DEAL UPDATE:

‘Divorce’ star Sarah Jessica Parker keeps her marriage private

“Sex and the City” premiered on HBO in 1998, redefining TV’s approach to women’s stories and cementing Sarah Jessica Parker, aka Carrie Bradshaw, as a household name. Twenty years later, Parker is back on HBO, in the midst of the second season of the dramedy “Divorce” — and is also reunited with “Sex and the…
Entertainment | New York Post

SPECIAL DISCOUNT UPDATE:

Patrick Swayze’s Secret to a Lasting Hollywood Marriage | The Oprah Winfrey Show | OWN

OWN

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE :

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Gordon Ramsay Says He Dropped Over 50 Lbs. to Save His Marriage

He says his wife was “not impressed” by his weight gain.

Health – Good Housekeeping

HEALTH CARE UPDATE:

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Sherry Johnson was raped, pregnant and married by 11. Now she’s fighting to end child marriage in America

In Florida’s halls of power, Sherry Johnson is somewhat of an anomaly: a black woman who grew up destitute and survived child abuse.


CNN.com – RSS Channel – Health

BEST DEAL UPDATE:

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Why Britney Spears Regrets Saying She’d Wait Until Marriage | The Oprah Winfrey Show | OWN

OWN

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE :

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Black Panther and Storm — A History of Their Marriage & Why It’s Important

Black Panther is arriving in theaters next month and there is a lot to learn from T’Challa’s comic book roots. For instance, did you know that at one point he was married to Storm? While their marriage didn’t last long, their union was powerful, for both Wakanda and the alliance it forged between the X-Men and the Avengers.

Let’s take a look at how T’Challa and Ororo first met, how they fell in love, and how T’Challa finally bent the knee to propose. We’ll also look at how this comic book storyline could play into the MCU, if the X-Men and Avengers do finally merge into one cinematic timeline (as a result of Disney buying FOX).

Young Friends



T’Challa and Ororo first met when they were both children. After Ororo’s parents were killed in Cairo, she was left alone to wander the desert. She spent some time as a pickpocket, forced to steal by Achmed El Gibár. Then she left Cairo in search of her mother’s homeland in Kenya. While on her travels, she came across T’Challa –heir to the throne of Wakanda — who was being kidnapped. Using her newly developed weather controlling powers, she rescued him. The pair had an instant chemistry and became friends. Part of this story was featured in a 1980s issue of Marvel Team-up, although it was retconned later in a Storm mini-series.

The Proposal



T’Challa and Storm went their separate ways and both joined The Avengers and the X-Men, respectively. Their busy schedules kept them apart most of the time, until T’Challa decided it was time to get married. In 2006, in Black Panther Volume 4: #14 and #15, T’Challa took a knee and proposed to Storm. Storm lamented her heartbreak of being separated from him as child and then said yes to his proposal.

The Wedding



The wedding of Black Panther and Storm can be read in Black Panther Volume 4: #18. Their wedding took place during the “Civil War Cease Fire Event.” Most of the Avengers and the X-Men showed up at the wedding, even though they were at odds over the Superhuman Registration Act. The Watcher even showed up to witness this historic event. Calling a ceasefire to witness the union of Storm, a powerful mutant, and T’Challa, a powerful Avenger and king, was a profound message of unity during a time of unrest.

The Divorce



Unfortunately, their union was not meant to least. Six years later, in 2012, T’Challa and Storm ended up on opposing sides of the Avengers vs. X-Men event. When the Pheonix Force returned to Earth, it possessed multiple people, including Namor. Namor led his Atlantian people into battle against Wakanda. The fallout from this comic book event series was brutal. Millions of people around the world began exhibiting mutant powers, Cyclops was imprisoned and The Avengers were left scattered, with Captain America left to create a new team. The damage to Wakanda was severe and T’Challa blamed Storm for siding with the X-Men. It was this event that caused him to annul their marriage.

The Future



In the comics, T’Challa and Storm are still divorced. Currently, there are no plans to bring them back together — which is sad — because they were one of Marvel’s strongest couples. However, they could come together in the film universe. Now that Disney owns both and Marvel and FOX, the crossover potentials are endless. While it’s too early to know if the current slate of Avengers will crossover with any of FOX’s current X-Men, it’s possible Black Panther and Storm could have a future. For instance, if the MCU does introduce the X-Men, they could do so via time travel or an alternate timeline, a la J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek films.

Would you like to see Storm and T’Challa together in the MCU? Would you keep X-Men: Apocalypse actress Alexandra Shipp in the role or recast?

Black Panther hits screens in the U.K. on February 12 and the U.S. on February 16.

Is the Soul Stone in Black Panther’s Homeland of Wakanda?

The post Black Panther and Storm — A History of Their Marriage & Why It’s Important appeared first on FANDOM powered by Wikia.

FANDOM powered by Wikia

ENTERTAINMENT DEAL UPDATE:

WATCH: Woman Thinks Jokester Boyfriend’s Marriage Proposal Is a Prank: ‘Are You Being Serious?’

You can’t pull one over on this bride-to-be!

Chelsea Newble, 23, couldn’t believe her eyes when 24-year-old boyfriend Chris Morley got down on one knee to propose to her at Santa’s Enchanted Forest theme park in Miami, Florida, ABC News reports.

“You’re so funny. You’re being so funny right now,” Newble is heard saying in a video of the moment after she turns to see Morley with a ring box. “Are y’all serious. Are you being serious right now? No, you’re not.”

In the footage that has been viewed more than nine million times on Facebook, Newble is shown examining the ring and Chris while refusing to believe the proposal.

Chelsea Newble (left) and Chris Morley

“Him being a prankster, I thought he was playing, but when I looked into his eyes, like, you could tell it was watering up,” she told WPLG.

Newble added: “I looked at the camera and, like, my mom and best friend , ‘Chelsea, it was real,’ and he was real, and this was a real situation.”

In the end, she finally believes him and bursts into tears as she accepts the ring. She later told ABC that the couple loves to laugh and joke all the time. They’ve been dating for two years.

“I was completely surprised,” Newble said of the proposal. Morley added that he was “nervous” to pop the question, but planned to do it at the amusement park. He told WPLG that the proposal was the longest two minutes of his life.

The lovebirds haven’t set a date yet, and are waiting until Morley tries out for the NFL to do so.

“I have so many girlfriends and they’re just ready to have dinners and parties now,” Newble said.


PEOPLE.com

Fashion Deals Update:

The Founder of Carol’s Daughter Renews Her Marriage Vows | Checked Inn | Oprah Winfrey Network

OWN

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE :

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Established Couples Weigh In on What Makes a Loving, Lasting Marriage | Checked Inn | OWN

OWN

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE :

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

3 Business Principles to Embrace When Ending a Marriage

Marriage is a legal and financial contract, not just a spiritual and emotional one. This is why marital contracts are dissolved by the state (and specifically the court), not by the church. However, too often people pay a high price for ignoring this reality when ending a marriage. Women, in particular, are particularly vulnerable when failing to prepare for divorce, because they are more likely than men to experience a decrease in their standard of living in the year after ending a marriage.

 

(Image: iStock/MarkHatfield)

 

Financial coach Patricia A. Stallworth says her lack of financial preparedness for divorce is what led to her becoming serious about her financial education, and ultimately becoming a financial adviser.

“Going through my divorce was the thing that launched me into a financial career,” says Stallworth, author of How To Get Divorced Without Losing Your Blouse: What Every Woman Needs To Know To Protect Her Future.”

“Like so many women, I had relegated responsibility for taking care of the money to my husband, because I thought he would do a good job of it,” Stallworth explains. “As I was sitting there at the divorce table for the settlement, I suddenly realized I had been wrong in my assumption because while he was really good at saving money, he was not very good at investing it; he had lost nearly all of our money after years and years of saving.

“So, because we had just moved from the East Coast to the West Coast for him to take a new job, I was sitting there with no job, no friends, no husband, and no money,” says Stallworth. “At that point, I wanted to learn everything about money—how to make it, how to manage it, how to invest it. I wanted to know everything. So I became a financial adviser.”

Today, Stallworth is a certified financial planner (CFP) who also holds an M.B.A., the host of the Minding Your Money 360 daily podcast, and the author of the Minding Your Money book series. She has also served as an instructor in both the CFP and CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) programs. Stallworth offers three financial realities you must face when ending a marriage.

Don’t be a silent partner when it comes to knowledge and management of marital assets.

 

Ideally, you have been fully aware and involved in the finances of your marital partnership long before you said, “I do.” However, even if that’s not the case, you need to start now, from where you are. ”

When I work with people,” says Stallworth, “the first thing I tell them is that you need to take responsibility, you need to take control, need to at least be part of the process, regardless of your marital status.”

Think of ending a marriage as a business transaction.

 

“So you need to get your head in the game, and you need to realize that this is one part of your life ending, and a new one starting,” says Stallworth. “The thing you need to be focusing on is, ‘What do I need to have in place so that I can start my new life and be OK, make myself as whole as possible?’

“It’s really shifting that whole mindset from love and all those other kinds of things to, ‘Hey, this is my new life, I’ve got to be ready for that. I have to get my head together and look at this like any other business transaction.”

Acknowledge your feelings so you can process them—and keep them out of the transaction.

 

Ending a marriage can produce an overwhelming range of emotions, ranging from love and longing to regret and recriminations, to anger and a desire to retaliate. Allowing these to impact the process of divorce carries the serious risk of sabotaging your future financial well-being.

“Go ahead and acknowledge your feelings,” Stallworth recommends. “If you need to have some therapy at this point, go get it. A lot of people say, ‘Well, I can’t afford it.” Go get it anyway. I don’t care what you have to do; just get it. You have to separate yourself mentally from this whole situation.

“I tell my clients: You know what? Give me the gun. (And they look at me like I’m crazy.) Give me the gun, because what I want to do is I want to take the bullets [the emotions] out. So that when you shoot yourself—and you’re going to shoot yourself—you won’t hurt yourself. That gets them into the frame of mind of, ‘Oh my gosh; I could really be the one to mess this up,’ so they start to think about things a little differently.”

 

Money – Black Enterprise

FASHION DEAL UPDATE:

Shop select Free People sale and clearance items at Bloomingdales.com!

Marriage linked to lower dementia risk, study finds

People who have been single all of their lives have a 42% higher dementia risk than those who are married, a new paper suggests. Yet experts warn that the finding should be interpreted with caution and more research is needed to explain why there could be a link between marriage and reduced dementia risk.


CNN.com – RSS Channel – Health

BEST DEAL UPDATE:

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

JAY-Z on Saving Marriage with Beyoncé After Infidelity: ‘The Hardest Thing Is Seeing Pain on Someone’s Face That You Caused’

JAY-Z is opening up about how his marriage survived scandal.

In an extensive new interview with T: The New York Times Style Magazine, the famed rapper offered a rare glimpse inside his private world with wife Beyoncé, admitting to past infidelity, revealing his state of mind leading up to the infamous transgression and sharing how the power couple pieced their relationship back together.

“You know, most people walk away, and like divorce rate is like 50 percent or something ’cause most people can’t see themselves. The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone’s face that you caused, and then have to deal with yourself,” he told the outlet. “So, you know, most people don’t want to do that. You don’t want to look inside yourself. And so you walk away.”

JAY-Z never walked away from his own marriage, but it hasn’t always been easy.

RELATED: JAY-Z Confesses His Relationship With Beyoncé Was Not ‘Built on the 100 Percent Truth’

Since 2013, the musician has been dogged by cheating rumors, which were only compounded by the news of his notorious 2014 #elevatorgate squabble with sister-in-law Solange after the Met Gala. Beyoncé more than hinted at marital strife on her 2016 adultery-fueled visual album Lemonade — and JAY-Z finally alluded to being unfaithful on the title track of his latest album, 4:44, released in June.

JAY-Z, 47, told T that therapy helped him look inward.

“I grew so much from the experience,” the rapper (born Shawn Carter) said. “But I think the most important thing I got is that everything is connected. Every emotion is connected and it comes from somewhere. And just being aware of it. Being aware of it in everyday life puts you at such a … you’re at such an advantage.”

The artist — nominated for eight awards at the 2018 Grammys — said he built up walls due to experiences from his childhood.

“You go into survival mode, and when you go into survival mode what happen? You shut down all emotions. So even with women, you gonna shut down emotionally, so you can’t connect ,” he said. “In my case, like it’s, it’s deep. And then all the things happen from there: infidelity …”

JAY-Z acknowledged problems in their relationship informed both Lemonade and 4:44.

“We were using our art almost like a therapy session,” he said of the music, adding that playing the deeply personal tracks for one another was painful — and “very, very uncomfortable.”

While the A-list pair were working on their respective albums — and a joint album they had previously been working on — emotions were running high.

“We were sitting in the eye of that hurricane,” JAY-Z said. “The best place is right in the middle of the pain. And that’s where we were sitting. And it was uncomfortable. And we had a lot of conversations. You know. really proud of the music she made, and she was really proud of the art I released. And, you know, at the end of the day we really have a healthy respect for one another’s craft. I think she’s amazing.”

Today, it seems, JAY-Z and Beyoncé are doing better than ever. Already parents to 5-year-old daughter Blue Ivy, the couple welcomed twins Rumi and Sir in June.

“It is not a secret that Beyoncé and Jay had huge problems a couple of years ago. It was obvious to everyone that spent time with them,” an insider told PEOPLE this summer. “There was always tension in the air, but they both worked very hard to get to the place where they are now … They are very excited about adding babies to the family. Jay was great during Beyoncé’s pregnancy and continues to be great. He loves being a dad and Beyoncé seems very happy.”


PEOPLE.com

Fashion Deals Update:

Hypocrite? Wendy Williams Criticizes Kenya Moore Over Her ‘Fake’ Marriage

Wendy Williams is taking a dig at Kenya Moore’s marriage to Marc Daly, even though her own marriage is rumored to be rocky.

On a recent episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Moore told her co-stars that her marriage is in trouble because her husband is living in New York while she remains in Atlanta. She also revealed that Daly is a private person and doesn’t want his personal life invaded by the media and Bravo’s cameras.

Wendy took advantage of Moore’s emotional moment by criticizing the ‘RHOA’ star for not having a real marriage.

“You live in Atlanta, your man lives in Brooklyn,” Williams stated. “If you want to have a real marriage, you have to be in the same town, in the same house, in the same bed.”

Williams doesn’t believe Moore is actually married and she thinks producers should kick Kenya off the show since she faking the funk and can’t handle the pressure.

Meanwhile, Radar reports that Wendy continues to deal with her own marital woes. Her husband, Kevin Hunter, was recently accused of cheating with a massage therapist named Sharina Hudson.

Although Williams hasn’t commented on Kevin’s alleged infidelity, an insider claims that she’s going through an identity crisis in the wake of her husband’s affair.

Meanwhile, industry insiders continue to whisper that Williams and her husband are going to be milking this fake storyline about the fake mistress for a while because they have a lucrative deal with Daily Mail and it’s spinoff TV news show to continue this storyline at least until the beginning of next year.

Do you believe it or nah?

Like BlackAmericaWeb.com on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram

[ione_media_gallery id=”65″ overlay=”true”]

Sign Up For Our Newsletter!

(Photo by Earl Gibson/BET/Getty Images for BET)


Entertainment – Black America Web

BEST DEAL UPDATE:

Australia Same-Sex Marriage Vote Spawns Toxic Debate | NBC News

NBC News

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE:

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Sonos One and Alexa is an audio marriage made in heaven

TwitterFacebook

This sounds amazing.

That’s what I thought when I got all my Sonos speakers playing the late Tom Petty’s Won’t Back Down and the first floor of my home filled with his distinct, Gainesville, Florida, twang. 

I chose that song with my voice and not by speaking to the first-generation Amazon Echo I have in my home, but by speaking directly to the brand new Sonos One smart speaker.

Sonos is just one of an increasing number of third-party partners integrating Amazon’s soon-to-be ubiquitous digital voice assistant Alexa. On the one hand, this seems redundant. Why do I need a Sonos Alexa-enabled speaker when I already have the Amazon Echo to drive what was my two-speaker Sonos system? Read more…

More about Reviews, Mashable Choice, Sonos, Smart Speakers, and Sonos One


Tech

ENTERTAINMENT DEAL UPDATE:

Cory Hardrict on Marriage to Tia Mowry-Hardrict: “Every Year Seems to Get Better” | Black Love | OWN

OWN

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE :

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Shanice and Flex Alexander Open Up About the Worst Day of Their Marriage | Black Love | OWN

OWN

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE :

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Friend Reveals the Queen’s Secret ‘Sad Discussion’ About Diana’s Stress During Marriage Woes: ‘She Was So Worried’

A friend of Princess Diana‘s  revealed in a new documentary that Queen Elizabeth was concerned about her wellbeing as reports of her sadness began to circulate during the dissolution of her marriage to Prince Charles.

In an interview for ITV’s Our Mother Diana: Her Life and Legacy special — which airs in the U.K. on Monday — Harry Herbert, who was close of Diana’s and is also a friend of the royal family, says he was asked by the Queen if he could confirm the growing rumors about Diana’s sadness.

The deeply personal conversation came one afternoon following a lunch at Balmoral, the Queen’s estate in the Scottish Highlands.

“The Queen wanted to talk to me about it because she was so worried, she was so, you know, worried about — worried about Diana,” Herbert said.

“Looking down onto this beautiful setting of heather and castle, an incredibly, you know, important chat, a very personal,” Herbert – who is the son of the Queen’s late former racing manager, “Porchie” — recalls. “And the Queen wanted to know how was Diana feeling, and was it as bad as — as it was. It was a sad discussion, a sad moment really because that was everything at its worst.”

Soon afterwards, Herbert was at Kensington Palace visiting with the princess, “when things weren’t particularly easy in her married life” – and revealed that her two sons, Prince William and Prince Harry, were able to snap her out of her private turmoil.

RELATED VIDEO: Royals Flashback: 18 Iconic Princess Diana Moments

“Suddenly, these two boys came thundering round the corner in their dressing gowns — this was before bed — and just watching her face light up, going from sad chat to suddenly — boof!” he said. “I’ll never forget that moment, and them crawling all over her and things flying everywhere.”

“And through all the difficulty of other stuff at that time, you could see it was the most important thing in her life were her boys.”

Diana, Our Mother: Her Life and Legacy will air Monday at 9 p.m. in the U.K. on ITV.

The show is one of several commemorations of the Princess in print and on film. PEOPLE and ABC have partnered in a two-night television event The Story of Diana, airing on Aug. 9 and 10 at 9 p.m. ET.


PEOPLE.com

Fashion Deals Update:

Will and Jada Pinkett Smith’s Wildest Quotes About Their Marriage Revealed

Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith, KissFor more than 20 years, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have kept the spark alive in more ways than one.
Sure, there are those hot and heavy smooches on red carpets. And sometimes these…

E! Online (US) – Top Stories

FASHION DEALS:

Take an Extra 20% off Clearance at Zales.com!

Trisha Yearwood Shares Her And Garth Brooks’ Recipe For A Successful Marriage

Long before Trisha Yearwood was a lifestyle guru, she was on the top of the music charts, selling out concerts and performing for adoring fans. The “She’s in Love with the Boy” singer was, and still is, a critical success, and her working and personal partnership with Garth Brooks has something to do with it.

After two divorces, Yearwood realized that maybe the man of her dreams had been right in front of her for years. In the 2000s, after Brooks ended his marriage to his college sweetheart, he took time off from music and eventually romantically reconnected with Yearwood after nearly 15 years of friendship. A love blossomed and the pair became engaged in May 2005 and got married later that year. 

They recently celebrated their 11th anniversary. 

“We have been friends for such a long time. Our relationship is based on a very deep friendship that we’ve had, so we were in the position of knowing each other as friends before we ever went on a date,” Yearwood told HuffPost of their marriage during a recent Build Series interview. “I think a lot of times you are ― just speaking for myself ― down the road in your relationship before you really get to know the person well enough to get to know if you really like them or not, and liking someone is as important as loving someone. And so we laugh a lot. When we’re not all lovey-dovey and passionate, we’re still best friends, so it’s just the way it works.”

Yearwood, who stars on an Emmy-winning cooking show, “Trisha’s Southern Kitchen,” and has a new line of products with Williams Sonoma, says Brooks is not just her husband but a true partner in life. 

“He’s whatever I need him to be; He can be my best friend, he can be my lover, he can be my shopper ― if I need a dress for an event and I don’t have time to go shopping, this guy can buy a dress and it’s gorgeous and it fits ― he’s fantastic,” she said. “He’s all those things that you need him to be and I think at the center of it is a true respect and love for each other, and a friendship.” 

Something else that helps Brooks’ case is his coffee-making skills

“My husband doesn’t drink coffee ― which I don’t trust people who don’t drink coffee, but I do love him ― but he makes my coffee every morning and he makes really good coffee, so he can stay,” she joked. 

Watch the full interview with Trisha Yearwood below. 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Even Tony Hawk Was Impressed By This Skateboarder’s Marriage Proposal

This skateboarder’s surprise proposal to his girlfriend so great, it even has Tony Hawk’s stamp of approval. 

Earlier this month at the annual Van’s Pool Party in Orange, California, skateboarder and activist Amelia Brodka was chatting about the future of women in skateboarding when interviewer Neal Hendrix subtly brought up Brodka’s boyfriend, Alec Beck, who was also in attendance. 

The pair met four and a half years ago at the Van’s Skatepark, Brodka said, so it holds a special place in their hearts. 

That’s when Hendrix motions to Beck to skate over and join them for the interview: With that, Beck launches himself down into the bowl, skates over and slides on his knees to pop the question.

Of course, Brodka says “yes.” 

The proposal, which made the front page of Reddit on Monday, came as a happy surprise to Brodka, who runs Exposure Skate, a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering women and girls through skateboarding.

“I was confused when I looked over to see Alec in his kneepads but I had no idea what was going on until he was on one knee in front of me,” the 27-year-old told HuffPost. “I fantasized about Alec proposing, but this was better than any scenario I could have ever imagined.” 

The “trick” may look effortless, but it took a lot of practice, said Beck, who works as the programs manager at the Tony Hawk Foundation, an organization that creates skate parks in low-income areas.

The day before the event, Beck did dry runs at Van’s Skatepark, attempting to figure out timing and positioning with the skatepark’s production team.

“I knew I needed to focus on only two things,” the 30-year-old said. “First, don’t fall dropping in and two: When I ask, make sure [Amelia] knows it’s just about the two of us and that no one else exists.”

Brodka’s pure gold, Reddit-worthy response definitely convinced Beck he pulled it of

“That reaction is one of the things I love most about Amelia Brodka,” he said. “She’s not afraid to show excitement or enthusiasm and is incredibly genuine.”

Beck’s boss Tony Hawk was so impressed by the proposal, he shared a video of it on Instagram:

“Congrats @alec_beck & @ameliabrodka on winning the best trick at Van’s Pool Party,’ he captioned the clip.

Brodka, who lives in North County San Diego with her fiancée, told HuffPost the pair haven’t set a date for their wedding yet, but they are busy planning the perfect ceremony. After watching that engagement, we’re really hoping it includes some skate tricks. 

type=type=RelatedArticlesblockTitle=Related Stories + articlesList=57eac321e4b082aad9b7782c,57066a49e4b053766188d117,5783b08ae4b0c590f7ea1dbe,55fb8f4ee4b0fde8b0cdc827

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

This ‘Millennial Marriage Proposal’ Is Guaranteed To Make You Cringe

What’s better than getting engaged? All the likes and comments you’ll get on your proposal photo, according to the millennials in the clip above. 

In a video from John Crist, the standup comedian pokes fun at millennials’ over-the-top proposals, elaborate engagement ring pictures and obsession with social media when it comes to getting engaged. 

“Wait you hired a photographer, right?” the actress in the video asks when her soon-to-be fiance drops to one knee and pops the question. What follows next is a few minutes of reshoots, re-proposing and reworking proposal camera angles to make sure the lighting is just right. All in the name of likes love. 

Because as Crist points out in the the clips’ description, “What’s the point of getting engaged if you don’t post it on Instagram?” 

The HuffPost Lifestyle newsletter will make you happier and healthier, one email at a time. Sign up here

type=type=RelatedArticlesblockTitle=Related… + articlesList=57db09dde4b08cb1409491ad,58c06c7be4b0d1078ca39dc8,55ce0f3ce4b055a6dab023b0

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Jonathan Scott Of ‘Property Brothers’ Opens Up About His First Marriage

“Property Brothers” star Jonathan Scott is opening up about his first marriage.

In People magazine’s April cover story (featuring his twin Drew as well, whom he stars on several HGTV shows with), the 38-year-old dished on his first marriage to an airline crew scheduler named Kelsey. The marriage, which took place in 2007, ended two years later because the two were young and rushed things, according to Scott.

“She wanted to get married on 07/07/07,” Scott said. “So it wasn’t something that naturally happened. 

Though the marriage ended, the “Property Brothers” star said he gained lot from the experience.

“I think that one of the biggest things I learned is that you can have two good people who are just not good for each other,” he said. “I’m glad that we found that out early. You know, we didn’t have kids or anything. And it really helped me understand what I wanted in a relationship.” 

These days, Scott told People he’s dating 28-year-old Jacinta Kuznetsov, a producer for his company Scott Brothers’ Entertainment.

Perfect, unexpected night on Miami Beach #peaceofmind

A post shared by Jonathan Scott (@mrsilverscott) on

Jonathan’s twin Drew is also off the market. The “Property Brothers” star proposed to his fiancee, Linda Phan, in December 2016 after more than five years of dating

Watch the video above to learn more from the Scotts’ People interview: 

The HuffPost Lifestyle newsletter will make you happier and healthier, one email at a time. Sign up here.

type=type=RelatedArticlesblockTitle=Related… + articlesList=58c7ed7ce4b03400023f4b26,5703c8dce4b0daf53af0d96d

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Watch Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett Reunite With Her Estranged Mom in Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars: Family Edition Trailer

Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Family Edition, Kendra Wilkinson, Farrah AbrahamIf you thought Marriage Boot Camp was intense, please let us direct you to Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars. And then if you think that’s as intense as it gets, please continue on to the…

E! Online (US) – Top Stories

Special Entertainment News Bulletin:


Check Groupon First

How To Take Your Marriage From Sexless To Steamy, In 7 Steps

Don’t feel guilty if you can’t remember the last time you and your partner got it on; sexless marriages have become almost endemic in modern society. According to data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, the top-searched marriage complaint on Google is “sexless marriage” ― and it only takes a second to stumble upon advice forums, like the Dead Bedrooms board on Reddit. 

But couples in sexless marriages don’t have to go on quietly suffering. Below, psychologists and sex therapists share their best advice for revving up your sex life. 

1. Work out your marital issues first. 

Nothing kills your sex drive quite like unresolved relationship issues. If there’s emotional baggage between you and your partner, address it head-on, said Chris Maxwell Rose, a sex educator and the creator of the Pleasure Mechanics online courses. 

“Practice radical honesty and forgiveness outside the bedroom,” she said. “Take a walk or a drive together and share all of the emotional baggage that has been getting in your way. Then, make a joint commitment to move forward together.” 

2. Acknowledge that there’s a problem in the bedroom. 

The most effective intervention to a sexless relationship is surprisingly simple: Partners need to acknowledge the problem and express interest in reconnecting sexually, said Kimberly Resnick Anderson, a sex therapist in Los Angeles, California. 

“Just having an honest conversation can quickly shrink the elephant in the room,” she said. “Honoring the value of sex in a relationship is the first step toward reconnecting. Believe it or not, it’s not uncommon for couples who have avoided sexual contact for years to leave my office after just one session and go home and have sex.” 

3.  Spend a few hours every week getting touchy-feely.

Sex isn’t always going to be spontaneous. To get things started again, carve out two windows of time a week where all you do is touch. Think of it like a grownup makeout session, said Gracie Landes, a sex therapist and marriage and family therapist in New York City.

“Focus on your own sensations while you touch your partner, then gradually add in more mutual touch and slowly build up to intercourse,” Landes said. “But only pursue that last step when you’re both ready, comfortable and confident.” 

4. Use your memories to your advantage. 

It’s going to take some time to get in a sexy frame of mind. To get there, New York City sex therapist Megan Fleming recommends reminiscing about a really hot sex experience from your past. 

“Replay it in your mind’s eye, like watching a movie,” she suggested. “You have to really allow yourself to reconnect with how the experience felt, incorporating all five senses. It’s important to realize you have the power to turn yourself on long before your partner enters the room.” 

5. Read erotica or watch porn together. 

It helps to have an active imagination during sex, but if you’re struggling to imagine something that gets you or your partner off, outsource the job, advised Ian Kerner, a sex therapist and the author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.

“Many of the couples I work with are surprised at how hot it can be to read erotica together,” he said. “Others enjoy watching porn and letting their fingers do the talking.” 

Kerner’s top erotica recommendations include old-school works like Emmanuelle by Emmanuelle Arsan, the Story of O by Pauline Reage or Delta of Venus by Anais Nin. If you’re more of a visual person, you may want to give ethical, women-friendly porn a chance. (Kerner recommends the films of Jackie St. James or Erika Lust.) 

6. Find out what your partner is craving sexually, and learn how to give it to them. 

Chances are, your turn-ons have changed over time. The same is probably true for your partner. Take the guesswork out of the equation by talking openly about your sexual interests, said Keeley Rankin, a sex therapist in San Francisco, California.

“Sexual needs can change over time and it’s important to ask every once and a while, ‘hey, what have you been craving sexually?’ Once you find out, learn how to give that to them,” she said. “If they want something you’re not familiar with, let them teach you.” 

7. Develop new “sex menus” together.

Try to picture your sex life this way: Just like there are different food groups that make up the food pyramid, there’s a limitless amount of sex positions and kinks to explore to keep your sex life vibrant and healthy. Read the Kama Sutra, search sex positions online ― do whatever it takes to get excited about sex again, Kerner said. 

“I often ask couples to come up with menus that emphasize different themes: emotional connection and love-making for instance, or fantasy-based menus that emphasize imagination,” he said. “And if you’re on the run, put the ‘quickie’ back on the menu ― whatever it takes!”

type=type=RelatedArticlesblockTitle=Related Stories + articlesList=58bdb8d8e4b0aeb52475fdd7,580e5d14e4b02444efa4aec3,56f2c7b5e4b02c402f65ff78,55c276fbe4b0f1cbf1e38feb

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

In Honor of Feud Season 2, a Timeline of Princess Diana & Prince Charles’ Most Dramatic Moments From Their Marriage

Princess Diana, Prince CharlesIf there’s one marriage stronger than the iron gates surrounding Buckingham Palace, it’s the irrefutable bond between the British royal family and scandal.
For decades, scratch…

E! Online (US) – TV News

SPECIAL TIP UPDATE!

New Research Just Linked Same-Sex Marriage Legalization with a Drop in Suicide Attempts

Especially among LGBT youths.

Lifestyle – Esquire

SHOPPING DEALS UPDATE:


Scottie Pippen and Larsa Pippen Step Out Together as it’s Revealed Couple Is ”Working On Their Marriage”

Scottie Pippen, Larsa PippenScottie Pippen and Larsa Pippen are giving their relationship another shot.
The retired NBA star and his wife of 19 years stepped out Monday night together for an evening at celeb-loved…

E! Online (US) – Top Stories

Special Entertainment News Bulletin:


Check Groupon First

Facing A Mixed Orientation Marriage With Gratitude And Hope

Many little girls, often daydream of walking down the aisle, on the most joyous day of their life – their wedding day. Heart racing, nervous smile plastered across her glowing face, never once thinking that the man she’s walking towards is hiding a secret that he’s too afraid to share.

Many young men envision meeting their soulmate, sharing their life with the person of their dreams, having a family, and living the life that’s expected of them – married to a beautiful woman and being a supportive husband and father. Yet some men are torn apart inside by the secret they keep that leads to heart wrenching guilt, shame, and fear of failing everyone they know.

Regardless of the scenario, whether it’s a man or a woman hiding their secret, at some point, the pain of pretending to be someone they’re not becomes greater than the transparent truth of living and being who they’re meant to be.

In that moment, all the years of love, parenting, and life building are diminished to a rubble of memories. Tortured wails of “How could you do this to me?” by an unsuspecting spouse, are just the tip of the betrayal iceberg that sinks the life once known by all concerned.

On the other hand, many couples in a mixed orientation marriage bravely join forces, standing tall in love, vowing to get support for overcoming the wicked temptation of same-sex attraction. Prayer, therapy, retreats, hard work, and tear-stained conversations litter the landscape of a marriage in defense mode, all in the name of “make it work, just make it work!” However, even the most resolute attempts to stay afloat in the life ring of “Until death do us part,” find many couples surrendering to the truth that fixing the same-sex attraction, or fixing it enough, as Matt the husband your about to meet said in his TEDx talk, isn’t going to happen. To quell the truth of a spouse embittered in their own internal tug of war with who they are vs. who the rest of the world expects them to be, is practically a death sentence in and of itself.

While both in-the-know spouses may give a mixed orientation marriage a fair shake, many are faced with the harsh reality, that denying the truth of the same-sex attraction only leads to deeper levels of guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, and more often than not ugly embittered relationships that lead to divorce. Matt and Luanne Nightingale are trying to walk the road less traveled, one of gratitude and hope, for unraveling their 25-year relationship.

Granted, it’s a common, and a completely acceptable, rationale human emotion to want to lash out, be angry, and desire the betrayer, pay, pay, pay for the lies they’ve laden into a 23-year marriage, that never really was the storybook version of the storybook marriage they thought they were living. However, by changing perspectives a little and dramatic shifts of thought, one begins to see the beauty of diversity, if one chooses to do so.

Even though the wounds are still freshly cut, and like many heterosexual spouses, Luanne is getting the raw end of the deal (a justifiable feeling that most heterosexual spouses feel) by having her little girl dreams of happily ever after shattered, the question remains, “Why me, why now, why to begin with?” As understanding, compassionate, and loving as she can be, it doesn’t take away the gut wrenching blow to the heart, self-esteem, and trust that Luann built in her marriage to the man that she loved.

When faced with the harsh truth, Luann and Matt faced eerily similar circumstances and questions that thousands of other same sex couples caught in this mixed-orientation marriage turmoil have faced. Heart-wrenching questions like, “Do we try to make this work?” or “How do we undo the damage, un-tell the lies?” and the ever so popular, “What does the future hold for either of us, our kids, our family?” Yet, they found a path.

Through open, honest, transparent communication, Matt and Luanne have chosen to accept the truth of Matt’s same-sex attraction – him a little more easily, her a little more painfully. Leaning into their relationship built on love, respect, support and brutal honesty, they’re now, in their own words, “Trying to do this well.” The “This well” being, creating an environment for themselves and their children where the family thrives rather than survives as their marriage unravels – she as a single, pained and saddened heterosexual mother, he as a single, excited yet sorrowful, gay father.

While brutal honesty and truth often slice deep into the jugular of life, transparency for being known for who you are is a blessing that eradicates guilt, shame, and self-loathing, opening one’s self, and hopefully others to the light of living truth for truths sake. In the light of Matt’s truth, his real truth, he and Luanne are building a new foundation that embraces the reality that who you are is who you are even though at times it hurts and brings up anger and confusion. However, both Matt and Luann have found that any attempt to fight your truth only compounds the darkness, hurt and pain which in turn, eventually manifests as a person living a pretend life having pretend relationships.

On Saturday, November 6, 2016 Matt and Luanne bravely, both in their own unique way, took the stage at TEDx Sonoma County to share their story, their journey, and their truth – a truth that demonstrates with respect, support, honesty, and a deep dive into forgiveness and understanding that both of them are trying to navigate the waters of unraveling a marriage of deception and lies, with dignity and love.

Selecting gratitude and hope as their guideposts, Matt and Luanne’s TEDx talk demonstrates their ability to find common ground in what could easily be a chaotic war of love gone wrong. Yes. This is their path of choice, but it does beg the question, “What’s possible when gratitude and hope are chosen over bitterness and you done me wrong thoughts?”

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

19 Places You Should Never, Ever Propose Marriage

There’s nothing more romantic than hearing the words “Will you marry me?” Unless, of course, those three words are uttered at McDonalds or some place similarly uninspired. Sorry, but no amount of Chicken McNuggets can redeem that situation. 

What other proposal locations should be avoided? Below, we’ve rounded up some of the funniest quips and real-life experiences from the trending Twitter hashtag #BadProposalLocations. 

type=type=RelatedArticlesblockTitle=Related Stories + articlesList=58655424e4b0eb5864889536,58051408e4b0e8c198a9869c,57e96af6e4b0e80b1ba380e3,5878e4ece4b0b3c7a7b0d557

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

30 Hilarious Tweets About Marriage That Just Nailed It This Year

Married couples may like to think that their relationship is a unique and complex thing. But at the end of the day, it turns out that marriage is a surprisingly universal (and often hilarious) experience. 

To prove it, we’ve compiled 30 of the funniest and most relatable marriage tweets from 2016.

type=type=RelatedArticlesblockTitle=Related… + articlesList=5744b7b3e4b03ede44131ca8,5851a30ce4b0e411bfd5192a,58250a98e4b060adb56dd5fc,580e4aede4b02444efa48558

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Cherokee Nation Will Now Recognize Same-Sex Marriage

The Cherokee Nation will now recognize same-sex marriage, according to an opinion issued Friday by the tribe’s attorney general.

Todd Hembree, the tribe’s attorney general, wrote in his opinion:

The right to marry without the freedom to marry the person of one’s choice is no right at all. The history of perpetual partnerships and marriage among Cherokees supports the conclusion that Cherokee citizens have a fundamental right not only to choose a spouse but also, with mutual consent, to join together and form a household irrespective of sexual orientation.

The decision followed a request made by the tribe’s tax commissioner for an official opinion on the issue a few weeks ago.

“We were increasingly being contacted by departments in the Cherokee Nation on how to handle certain issues with same-sex marriage,” Chrissi Nimmo, assistant attorney general of the Cherokee Nation, told The Huffington Post on Friday.

Native American nations are governed by Congress, not the federal courts. So the 2015 Supreme Court decision to recognize gay marriage in all 50 states did not legally affect the Cherokee Nation, but Nimmo said the bulk of Friday’s decision was indeed informed by it.

Hembree’s decision was also influenced by historical Cherokee Nation sexuality narratives. He wrote in Friday’s decision:

Our oral history teaches us also that the Cherokee and Euro-American worldviews differed dramatically regarding appropriate gender roles, marriage, sexuality, and spiritual beliefs. Indeed, while the majority of Cherokees subscribed to the traditional gender roles, evidence suggests a tradition of homosexuality or alternative sexuality among a minority of Cherokees.

“It think it’s a really interesting part of the decision,” Nimmo told HuffPost. “Through historical research, we were able to identify research sources that indicate there was some type of historical recognition of homosexuality.”

Hembree’s opinion nullifies a law the tribe passed 12 years ago called the Cherokee Nation and Family Protection Act, which banned same-sex marriage among tribe members. 

Though same-sex marriage is still illegal in some Native American tribes, like the Navajo Nation, Nimmo believes most tribes don’t take a stance on it either way. 

“I think you will see a mixed reaction [to Friday’s decision] like you do in the American public at large,” Nimmo told HuffPost. “Without a doubt, there will be tribal members and officials who support this and are proud of this, and there will be others … who don’t like it.”

The Cherokee Nation’s legal recognition of same-sex marriage will take effect immediately. Nimmo said Hembree’s decision is “binding and considered legally valid,” though it can be challenged by other Cherokee officials at any time.

“I don’t really know who would challenge it,” Nimmo added.

Supporters of the decision shared their excitement on social media:

type=type=RelatedArticlesblockTitle=Related… + articlesList=576ab037e4b065534f48706f,55f9b867e4b08820d916f812,560c3084e4b0768127005591

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

7 ‘If We’re Not Married By…’ Pacts That Actually Ended In Marriage

In “How I Met Your Mother,” Ted and Robin make an agreement that if they’re still single at 40, they’ll just marry each other. 

Spoiler alert: They do eventually end up together (with a whole lot of ups and downs in between). But to our surprise, this kind of thing isn’t just a pop culture trope; it happens in real life too.

Read on for seven stories of real couples who made similar “if we’re not married by…” pacts and actually ended up together. Some didn’t wait until the agreed-upon age, but that doesn’t make their love stories any less sweet. 

1. We made the pact as a joke in high school. At 30, we tied the knot.

“Brittany and I were in each other’s lives longer than my memory will go back. We were always good friends, but got really close in middle school and high school. Sometime in high school we started joking that if we were both single at 30, then we would get married. At 24 we started hanging out a lot. By 25 we were in an official relationship. And on our 30th birthday (yes, we share that) we were married. We didn’t force anything because of the pact we made. It all happened as it was supposed to. We celebrated our first ‘birthiversary’ earlier this month, and we are still madly in love!” ― Byron 

2. After some heart break, we made the marriage pact in jest. Now we’re 30 and planning a wedding.

“Rey and I met online and became good friends when we were both 23, and since we lived 2000 miles apart, it was only a friendship. After each of us had a few bad relationships and shared mutual heartaches, we jokingly made our pact; If by 30, if we were still single, I’d take the leap of faith, move across country and we would date for a year or two before getting married. We both tried dating others, but by 28, we reconnected through social media. Our friendship grew and when the pact was mentioned again, we both embraced it. I moved to Texas in 2014, and now at 30, we are happily engaged and planning a wedding for the spring of 2018.” ― Heather W.

3. We decided on age 33, but destiny couldn’t wait that long.

“Jason and I met in high school in 1996 (we were 17) and ended up going to senior prom together since neither of us had dates. We decided that we were such good friends that if we weren’t married to other people in 2011 by the time we turned 33 (our birthdays are five days apart) that we’d marry each other. Fast forward to 1997 when we had our first child before getting married on Valentine’s Day in 2000. We were both so scared of finding ‘the one’ so young that we fought it, but fate had plans for us and they couldn’t wait until 2011! We now have two children, 16 years of marriage and are looking forward to old age together. Even when we are angry with each other, we can find a laugh because our friendship is so strong. It’s pretty damn awesome.” ― Dawn-Maia S.

4. We agreed that if we were single at 30, we’d get together. At 34, we were married.

“I first met Burnill in fourth grade and didn’t like him one bit. When we were 13 we met again at a skating rink while I was on a date with his friend and he was on a blind date with my friend. We eventually started spending time together, and we became a couple at 16. We broke up and lost touch for about a year after, and ran into each other again when we were 18. That’s when we made our pact that if we weren’t both married at 30 then we would get married. After this I didn’t see him for about nine years until he found me on Facebook. At the time I was married and had two kids. About six years later, I was single and he contacted me again via Facebook. We got married at 34 and have one beautiful little boy together, along with my two older children.” ― Rae M.

5. We started out as best friends with an “if we’re still single at 30…” agreement. Six months later, we were husband and wife. 

“My best friend of 10 years said to me one day in a group conversation that if we weren’t with anyone by the time she was 30 (she was 25 at the time) that we would have to be together. As beautiful as she was/is, I never made a move because I used to date her best friend, so I thought the ‘girl code’ would halt my advances. Sure enough, once she said that, I was like, ‘Hold up, she’s possibly into me?!’ So I made the move! Six months after that conversation, we got married. It was a fairly easy transition. Currently married for three years with two children. I’m loving every moment of it.”― Korderius D.

6. We made the pact in college. Two years later we were married ― long before age 40.

“Sarah and I became best friends after working as EMTs on our college ambulance service. We were never single at the same time, so when I was 20 and she was 22 we made a pact to get married when I was 40 if we were both single. I made it to age 22 before asking her to marry me. Our wedding was in 2013 and it was a ton of fun ― she’s a private pilot and I’m in the Air Force so we had a formation flight before exchanging vows on the taxiway at the small airport where she learned to fly.” ― Ahmed H.

7. We agreed to be each other’s backup spouse if we weren’t married by 30. Just a few years later, we got married. 

“I met Sam in 2010 during our freshman year of college. At the time we were both seeing other people, but we became very good friends very quickly mostly because of our mutual interest in self deprecation. Sometime that year we were talking about the inevitability of our current partners giving up on us and decided we should probably have some sort of contingency plan so we didn’t die miserable and alone. We decided if we were both single when we were 30, we would give up on love and resign ourselves to lives of senseless banter. She and I were 18 and 19, respectively. We decided we did actually love each other, so we moved our timetable up a bit and got married in April of 2013.” ― Ethan W.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

Years ago, there was a ladies’ magazine with a regular column asking the question, “Can this Marriage Be Saved?” After reading about various marital woes, I concluded that if there was love, your marriage could be saved, but if not, then marriage would simply become a compromise.

Here are eight steps to help you answer the question, “Can your marriage be saved?”

1. Mutuality

Mutuality is the key to marriage, and the two most constructive sentences you can speak to your mate are: “Sweetheart… how do you feel about this?” and, “Sweetheart… what do you think about that?” By being mutual, you are telling your mate that you value and respect him, as well as his thoughts and feelings. Therefore, you are ready and willing to problem-solve together. Solutions don’t have to be competitive, but rather, evolve for the common good. Collaboration is the key to constructively reaching confident conclusions.

2. Time Out 

If you’re only fighting, you can’t find time to build intimacy. You need time out in which to reconnect in a loving way. That means no critical talk – no baiting or switching – and don’t play the blame game. If you can change the tone, even for a little while, you can begin to reengage tenderly. Delete from your dialogue sentences such as, “Get Out,” “I want a divorce,” “It’s my way or the highway,” and “You’re either with me or against me.” And. never escalate a fight to lower your own anxiety. That’s a sure way to raise it… and end up apart.

3. Look Inside 

See how you can help your relationship. Ask your partner, “What can I do to make it better? What do you need from me?”

4. Be Emotionally Proactive

Touch more, smile more, hug more, and have more sex. These simple acts of kindness and warmth go a long way towards helping you find each other again. Simply helping by unloading a dishwasher can ignite warmth and closeness in your spouse.

5. A Love Letter 

Write a love letter to your mate expressing your feelings, both positive and negative. Be descriptive in your language, and only speak about your feelings. Your opening and closing should be loving, while drawing your mate to your emotional sphere. This way, you can help him feel what you’re feeling when he does anything that you experience as hurtful. For example, you can write, “When you say bruising things to me, it makes my stomach feel queasy, as if I’m in a plunging elevator.”

6. Confront All Problems Together

You are a team. There’s nothing more disconcerting than hearing from a friend that your spouse is having a problem that you weren’t privy to. Make time weekly for my empathic process, where together you can discuss difficult things with empathy and trust.

7. Trust Is Based On Experience

Never betray your spouse’s trust. Never discuss your sex life and always be respectful of your husband’s shortcomings. Men and women equally hate to hear their personal life bandied about among their friends. If you break trust, for example, by having an affair, and you want to keep your marriage, end that affair immediately.

Finally, if your marriage is overwhelmed by destructive behavior – mental or physical abuse, anger, addiction, affairs, and so forth – and has become insupportable, seek professional help, and when necessary, divorce.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Here’s Some Surprisingly Positive News About Marriage In The U.S.

Here’s some heartening news about marriage: The U.S. divorce rate fell for the third consecutive year in 2015, dropping to the lowest it’s been in 40 years, according to a report based on Census data released Thursday.

The divorce rate ― represented as the number of divorces per 1,000 married women aged 15 and older ― was 16.9 divorces per 1,000 married women in 2015, a slight dip from the divorce rate of 17.6 in 2014. The rate is down 25 percent from 1980, according to the report, which was released by Bowling Green State University’s National Center for Marriage and Family Research.

“We may have reached the low point in the decline in marriage,” Susan L. Brown, a co-director at the center, told The Huffington Post. “Over the past few years, there has not been a further retreat from marriage among the US population.” 

What’s more, marriage rates remain stable, with 32.3 marriages for every 1,000 unmarried women, up from 31.9 in 2014. 

Though divorce rates have fallen among young people (35 and under), they’ve increased for middle-aged and older people, Brown said. 

“Many of these Baby Boomers experienced the divorce revolution of the 1970s as young adults and then got remarried,” she told HuffPost. “The gray divorce rate for those in a remarriage is 2.5 times higher than for those in a first marriage.”

Meanwhile, younger generations are marrying later in life and being more selective in the process of finding a partner, she said. 

“Young adults who get married tend to do so at later ages and they enjoy greater economic resources and they’re more likely to be college educated than their counterparts a generation ago,” she said. “Both of these factors are protective against divorce.” 

Of course, the divorce rate varies by state: Washington, D.C. has the highest divorce rate, with nearly 30 marriages per 1,000 ending in divorce, followed by Wyoming (27.9), Nevada (25.7) and Arkansas (25.3)

Hawaii has the lowest divorce rate, with only 11 marriages per 1,000 ending in divorce, followed by Wisconsin, Rhode Island, Delaware, which were all under 13.

type=type=RelatedArticlesblockTitle=Related Stories + articlesList=56d837c9e4b03a4056777e62,58246aa2e4b0334571e0a77c,581a3a5de4b0cee6c6d13136,581fd0efe4b0334571e09e40

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Here’s Where Donald Trump Stands on Abortion, Gay Marriage, and More Vital Issues

Keep this handy.

Lifestyle – Esquire

SHOPPING NEWS UPDATE:


Bemustached Cop Who Rescued Kitten Now Flooded With Marriage Proposals

Police officer Cody Garrett of Spartanburg, South Carolina knew that a photo of himself posing with his newly rescued kitten was cute. He just didn’t know how cute.

The 28-year-old cop has been bombarded with marriage proposals since the pair, dubbed a “crime-fighting duo” by Buzzfeed, went viral. (Though Garrett clarified to HuffPost that the tiny orange feline does not, in fact, come along on patrols or otherwise assist in fighting crime.)

Garrett adopted the kitten, whom he named Squirt, after he and another officer found her in a dumpster.

Much better. #mustache #love #kittycat #kitten #kittensofinstagram #cute #rescue

A photo posted by Donut Operator (@donutoperator) on

“It was raining outside pretty bad,” Garrett said, noting that “we probably saved her life” since there was a small flash flood in the area shortly afterwards.

“She’s the smallest kitten I’ve ever seen,” he added.

He decided to bring her home because his own cat, a female named Toothless whom he adopted after finding her in his yard, just had a litter of kittens and was still nursing. He hoped she’d adopt the newcomer, and it worked.

“Toothless has taken her as one of her own,” he said. The cop, who told BarkPost he’ll be getting Toothless spayed, also has two rescue pups, including a one-eyed pup named Mike Wazowski, a reference to the Monsters, Inc character.

And why the name “Squirt?” It’s not because the kitten was just so dang small, but because shortly after bringing her home, the kitten let out a stream of poop.

But it’s hard to hold that against this face.

She's a happy little Squirt! #cute #kitten #kittensofinstagram #kittens #catstagram #cats #rescue

A video posted by Donut Operator (@donutoperator) on

Though he’s been getting “a lot of marry me’s” from new fans, he said his longtime girlfriend isn’t concerned.

“She knows I love her,” he said.

But while he’s not looking for romantic attention, he does hope that his viral story helps people think more positively about cops.

“Police officers aren’t the enemy,” he said. “We have families, we like rescuing animals and playing video games. We’re not just out doing the crazy stuff people see on the news.”

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Hard Lessons I Learned From Repeatedly Faking Marriage

In which I pretend to tie the knot. Over and over again.

Lifestyle – Esquire

SHOPPING DEALS UPDATE:


Supreme Court’s Nod to Gay Marriage a Psychological Boost to Couples: Experts

5-4 decision should help bring acceptance, respect for these committed relationships
healthfinder.gov Daily News
SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN!-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News-
HEALTH SPECIALS!!-

Save up to 50% at Walgreens

Preparing Couples For Marriage: A Guide For Pastors For Premarital Counseling

Preparing Couples For Marriage: A Guide For Pastors For Premarital Counseling


Preparing Couples for Marriage by Les C. Wicker is a wedding scripture text and prayer book entailing premarriage counseling and marriage counseling topics along with the following topics: – marriage counseling – Christian marriage counseling – premarriage counseling – premarriage counseling online books – premarriage counseling – marriage counseling Christian – Christian counseling free marriage -wedding preparation checklist – wedding scripture – wedding scripture and prayer – wedding scripture texts – wedding scripture readings – wedding bible scripture
List Price:
Price:

The Single Best Piece Of Marriage Advice Ever Given

Know someone saying ‘I do’ this month? Here’s what to tell them.

First, some numbers: I’ve been married (to the same person) for twenty-seven years. Those twenty-seven years have included six in which we were researching an anthology about marriage. That anthology (The Marriage Book: Centuries of Advice, Inspiration, and Cautionary Tales, from Adam & Eve to Zoloft) is 560 pages long. Those 560 pages include 529 entries that we arrived at after scanning—honestly—tens of thousands of books, poems, newspaper articles, letters, postcards, photographs, and songs.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Is The Husband Supposed to Be the Leader In Marriage?

A few years ago, I attended the wedding of a dear friend of mine. Before the actual ceremony the minister took time to give a powerful bit of counsel to everyone who had gathered. His words affected me so deeply that they have prompted me to change not only how I approach my marriage, but also my relationships with family and friends.

From what I can remember, the minister said this:

In scripture, husbands have been called the head (or leader) of the household. The world scoffs at such an idea, but that is because the world has a perverted sense of leadership. The world thinks of a leader as the person in charge — a person who makes all of the decisions, forces everyone to do what he wants and then takes all of the glory for himself. But the world’s way of leadership is not God’s way of leadership. Leadership, the way God intended it, is a call to service. God’s leadership, simply put, is the rendering of humble service to those you love and giving the glory to God.

Too often, men seek solitude from or power over those they claim to love. This is perverted leadership. God calls men to a road that brings them in harmony with their wives and children. Yes, you will make decisions, but you will make them with the intent to serve your family — not yourself. Remember, the God who calls others to lead is the same God who washed the feet of His disciples. There is no unrighteous pride in God’s form of leadership — only perfect love.

Some may question the wisdom of this minister, but I have tested his words and found them be true. I have put his advice into practice in my own life, and I’ve realized that some of the most difficult times in my marriage have been the times when I myself have exercised a perverted sense of leadership — made demands, ignored my wife’s needs in favor of my own or withheld forgiveness. In contrast, the happiest times in my marriage have been those where I’ve “taken charge,” and more fully devoted myself to my wife — recommitting to serve her and see her needs as equal to my own.

That minister’s counsel has blessed not only my marriage, but nearly all of my relationships. As I’ve applied these principles to my life, I’ve come to realize that every relationship in life presents us with “leadership opportunities” — moments in which we are called to serve, guide, protect and love one another. Recognizing these calls to leadership (and acting on them) has made me a better husband, friend, brother and son.

I would like to extend this minister’s message to you: Start today and consider ways that you are being called to lead in love. While there are many types of relationships with different dynamics, I can promise you that as you sincerely recognize and meet the needs of those you care about, you will feel a greater sense of love and appreciation for those you serve.

This article was originally published on www.SethAdamSmith.com under the title “Is The Husband Supposed to Be The Leader?”

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Lessons From an Arranged Marriage

2015-05-27-1432754651-7609323-arrangedmarriage.jpgMy parents wed on a September morning in 1960 in a small farming village in Greece. My mother learned the news when the busses started to arrive delivering the guests. She was just two months past her seventeenth birthday. There was a rented white dress that was a few sizes too large, a severe brother who had brokered the deal, and a much older groom who wanted to bring a wife back to America. She had met him only once, and what she remembered from that encounter was that he’d told her to walk properly rather than skipping like a donkey. She was one of ten children, and normally the girls would be married off by order of age, oldest to youngest. It wasn’t her turn, but the family’s crushing poverty and crowded house allowed for an exception to the rules.

My father was born in a tiny mountain village surrounded by mountain ranges, where the earth glowed red and the wheat harvest produced a vibrant golden yellow grain. Bougainvillea, pomegranate, geraniums, fruiting trees abounded, but so did poverty, invading Germans, danger, and a suffocating feeling of entrapment. I imagine the idea of escape gnawed at him. He brought his baggage with him when he finally did run down the mountainside in the dark, hiding from soldiers, breath held. His baggage carried stories about his only meal being onions and bread, and the time his mother had one egg and split it between him and his cousin. He never forgave her for not giving him the whole egg. An uncle in America had offered to sponsor one brother, and my father lunged at the opportunity, leaving his family behind.

After several years in America, he returned to Greece for a wife. He needed someone to cook and clean for him and to take care of his needs. And so it began. A poor young girl in a rented dress too large, collarbones showing from hunger. A groom with a fancy wool suit and a cream-colored tie. It was the beginning of their arranged marriage, a marriage devoid of choice.

As a child, I came to understand that my parents would constantly be at each other’s throats. My mother was beautiful and fiery, like a caged animal pacing until it struck. My father gathered his suspicions like a bag of shrapnel until they would explode, striking anything in his path. He was often mistaken for her father, which only fueled his insecurity. He dropped me off at elementary school one morning, and before saying goodbye, he paused to ask me, “Do you think I’m handsome?”

Despite their constant fighting, distrust, and acrimony, they stayed together 50 years, until one morning, my father died in his bed at home after many years of illness. My mother had spent the previous 18 years caring for him after a debilitating stroke. She was the epitome of devotion and martyrdom.

These are the lessons I took away from my parents’ arranged marriage:

It’s better to pick your own spouse. When they were married, choosing who you married was unheard of. I remember a cousin in Greece “marrying for love” in the 1980s and it was high scandal in the family. I was always determined to pick my own partner, and vowed I would never marry a Greek man. When I came out as a lesbian, I realized that I would shatter all cultural expectations, and while I suffered some guilt, I knew that my happiness was at stake.

You can stay with someone for your whole life, even if you are completely mismatched. This was certainly the case with my parents, and for many years I carried this as a badge of honor. I took their commitment as proof of loyalty and stability. I was proud of my parents for never divorcing, even though they both suffered together for 50 long years.

Children do not benefit from unhappy parents. Despite being grateful that my parents never divorced, the truth is that my sister and I lived in a battle zone. We never witnessed a healthy, loving partner relationship. Neither of us had that model to refer to when picking our own partners. Our partnership model was one of strife, control, and distrust. It has taken me many years to learn how to be comfortable enough in my own skin to love someone enough to let them be comfortable in theirs.

It is okay to call it quits. I walked away from my childhood believing that staying together no matter what was the ultimate goal, a source of pride, and proof of honor. I still think there is honor in working extremely hard to stay together. But only if staying together supports you to feel whole as an individual. If, by being with someone, your soul and purpose are enhanced. Otherwise, it is much too easy to fall into stagnation, a forgetting of oneself for the sake of the staying together.

Children survive divorce. As a child, I often thought that the fighting would only stop if a family member died. I felt death would bring my family to their senses and help them to see what was important in life. Imaging death should not be a child’s coping strategy. I see now that divorce can be a healthy option. No one has to die! If parents are able to cushion and support their children, and manage to co-parent separately but cooperatively, children can thrive where they once withered.

Even though I have chosen my own partners, and luckily escaped the arranged marriages proposed in my youth, I still carry these lessons in my pocket. Always be true to yourself, and have the courage to ask, Is this marriage still working for me? If it is, great! If it isn’t, it is okay to begin anew. Don’t stay only because you once arranged it for yourself. Stay because you want to be there today. And remember, the world is a huge wonderful place full of unexpected surprises and people you have never met.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Crossing Continents: How to Move a Marriage

“Never take a damaged marriage overseas,” they told me at the spouse orientation the year my husband joined the Diplomatic Security Service.

Diplomatic Security, or DSS, is a little-known branch of the State Department that is responsible, as the name suggests, for keeping diplomats and other Americans safe overseas. DS agents like my husband are posted to Embassies overseas, sometimes alone, sometimes with their families. It’s a high-stress, high-stakes job (think Benghazi) involving long hours in strange cities, doing things you can’t necessarily tell your spouse about.

So this marriage advice, coming from a veteran DS spouse, made a lot of sense. Even way back then I knew that the constant moves required in the Foreign Service, the strange hours, the secrecy required of the job, would take a toll on the strongest marriage, so I could understand that a damaged marriage might not survive a Foreign Service career.

But that was back in the last century, before we’d had a baby. Before we’d had four babies, to be more exact. Before we’d suffered two miscarriages. Before we’d seen one baby through a serious illness. Before we’d been PNG’ed (that means “kicked out,” for all of you non-diplomats) from one country, and medically evacuated from another. Before I lost my hearing to a mysterious virus in China. Before he was selected for an unaccompanied tour in Iraq, leaving me and the four kids behind to fend for ourselves in Amman, Jordan.

Back then, a century ago, our marriage was as close to perfect as it is possible to get, with lots of hand holding and talk of “the future,” that shiny, happy unknown. Advice about damaged marriages had nothing to do with my reality, though I could certainly understand how it might apply to others. I nodded my head as she spoke, like everyone else in the room, but really, I was in a hurry to move on to more pertinent information, like how to host a dinner party, or how to ship a car overseas.

Now, though. Now, when I’m 16 years into the Foreign Service and 20 years into married life, I’ve had loads of time to contemplate that advice, and honestly, it’s the only advice I remember clearly from that day. Hosting a dinner party is the easiest part of the lifestyle. Staying married? Not so much.

In the end, it turns out that every Foreign Service marriage is damaged in some way. All of our marriages have places where they have been bent, bruised and maybe even broken over the passage of years and tours. The strain of the constant moves, the stress of constantly reinventing yourself, the feelings of inadequacy brought on in each new country, where you have to learn to talk and cook and drive anew – all of this weighs down our families, threatening at times to crush us.

Many of the broken bits I find in my relationship with my husband suffered their damage at the hands of the Foreign Service. My married life flashes before my eyes, and I see that time I was so very angry – over what, exactly, I can’t remember now – that I wanted to storm out of the house… but I had nowhere to go, no friends at all to run to, because we were brand new to the city. I remember the time I raged internally because I was stuck driving around our new middle eastern city, trying to find the emergency room, when he was nowhere to be found. I think back to the day they loaded me onto a tiny medevac plane, when I was soaked in blood from the waist down after a misdiagnosis led to a miscarriage – I’d only been in Central Asia for 13 days, and there was nothing he could do to help me except pray I didn’t bleed to death before we got to a country where they could operate on me. I remember when he was home from Baghdad for a brief visit, and I just sat sobbing on the bed, blubbering about how I couldn’t do it, and I wasn’t going to do it anymore, whatever “it” was. He looked on, scared and helpless, not quite even sure what was bothering me.

Yet here we still are.

All around me, I see friends giving up on crumbling marriages – not just in the Foreign Service, but in the regular world, too. Sometimes, when a friend or colleague announces her separation, I’m not surprised – from the outside, it was obvious that the relationship had moved irretrievably beyond the breaking point. Other times, though, I’m shocked – if it could happen to her, what’s to keep me safe?

Here’s the thing. Being sent to a new country with your same ole spouse can be a sort of living hell if you let it. Because you’re forced to rely solely on each other: no grandparents, no old friends, no aunts to rely on; nobody to come rescue you from each other. It’s just you and him, alone against the Foreign Affairs Manual. And at each new post, your relationship changes, in big ways and small. Sometimes I find work: an equal partner! Other times, there is no work to be had, and I have to rely on him to turn in the work orders, to cash the checks, to sign up for internet service. And he has to rely on me, too: to figure things out on my own without too much anxiety, to find the stores and make the friends and enroll in the schools. To be happy, no matter what craziness surrounds me. Because, like it or not, as the “trailing spouse,” I’m the backbone of the family. If that backbone snaps, well, it’s all over. And that’s a terrible, intimidating responsibility when you arrive in a new place, with not a word of the local language, a nasty case of jetlag and four lonely children. It’s hard to be the backbone when your husband is posted in a war zone and you have sick kids and a full-time job. It’s hard to not blame him for getting you in this mess.

I look back at the ravages wrought on my marriage by the Foreign Service, and yes, some of it will always seem awful. Some of it seems funny, or even ridiculous, in hindsight. But all of it – the whole collection of dents, the tarnished spots, everything ugly – all of it together has built this marriage, this crazy life of ours.

So yes, you could say that a decade and a half after that opening day lecture, I now recognize that my marriage is as banged-up as everyone else’s. It’s definitely not the same marriage I carried – carefully, hopefully – into the Foreign Service all those years ago.

But, you know what? We may have argued on that humid summer day about how exactly we should get to the top of the Great Wall of China, but we got there, and back again, together. I gripped the armrest and told him to slow down as he wound down that hill toward Tel Aviv, but he got us there safely in the end, and we held hands as we looked at the broad expanse of the Mediterranean, rolling our eyes as the kids argued about who was the first to touch the water. When I sat sobbing on the bed during his visit from Baghdad, he had no idea what the problem was. But he sat with me and let me finish, and then he kissed me and set about figuring out how to make it better. For me. For us.

We’re damaged, sure. But we’re damaged in the best possible way, together.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Strength in Our 22 Years of Marriage

With today being my 22nd wedding anniversary, I am consumed with feeling nostalgic and hopeful; nostalgic for the wonderful years of memories we have had and hopeful for all of the new memories we have yet to create.

2015-05-23-1432403016-8560033-UsMackyDaves.jpg

Twenty-two years of happiness, of trying times, of struggling to make more money, of stress with our first jobs, of raising children, of stress with our second jobs, of building our first house, and of always loving each other… Those are the kind of years that make a marriage last.

I have learned a few essential lessons along this wonderful journey and I am fairly sure my husband has as well. One thing I know for absolute certain is that I wouldn’t trade those years for anything and I wouldn’t trade him for anyone. (Can I get a collective, “awwwww?”)

2015-05-23-1432403799-1283621-UsinFtLaud.jpg

Now and again, there is true strength in ignorance. We were the first of our friends to marry. Fortuitously or not, there was nobody to compare our situation to and nobody to guide or offer us advice. We did not realize if we were similar to our friends’ marriages and we did not have to listen to others tell us what we should or should not do for any given situation. We were undoubtedly on our own.

Our life together has spanned over two-plus decades. Upon reflection, I can say it is one sincerely filled with devotion, passion and a great deal of respect. Here is an abbreviated breakdown of what our history has (essentially) looked like.

1. Moving to a new city within 2 weeks of getting married.
2. Surviving an 8-year residency program.
3. Raising two babies (with me often as a single parent).
4. Coping with an unplanned autoimmune disease.
5. Struggling through several entrepreneurial endeavors.
6. Living in 4 different states together.
7. Losing grandparents.
8. Traveling to different countries (both together and apart).
9. Being scared with every hazard from the hospital.
10. Losing a parent.
11. Surviving our kids’ teenage years.
12. Building our dream home.

Life continues to get better and better as each year together passes. My husband and I have developed a special partnership and an extraordinary bond. He has become my truest friend, my confidant and my tower of strength. While those beginning years were certainly rough ones, our next phase is bound to be full of good health, countless laughter, fantastic travel and, most importantly, endless love.

2015-05-23-1432404632-7693521-MeKissingAdam.jpg

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Mad Mike Huckabee: Gay Marriage Fury Road

In the future, Christian civilization will collapse. Bands of militant homosexuals, dressed in leather and face paint, will roam the cultural wastelands, gay marrying anyone and anything in their path. Only one man stands between them and the total destruction of traditional marriage–Mad Mike Huckabee!

But first he has to tie the knot himself.

MAD MIKE HUCKABEE (played by Tom Hardy): That’s where you come in.

IMPERATOR FURIOSA (played by Charlize Theron): That’s where I come in what? Take off that damn face mask–I can’t understand a word you’re saying. Who do you think you are–Bane in The Dark Knight Rises?

MAD MIKE (removing the face mask): There, that’s better. Like I was saying, that’s where you come in. If we get married in a big public ceremony, it will revive interest in the traditional institution. I know this great little pizzeria in Indiana that will cater. Pepperoni for everyone!

FURIOSA: Yes, but why me?

MAD MIKE: You’re a woman, aren’t you?

FURIOSA: So?

MAD MIKE (winking): I don’t want to get graphic, but I have a tallywacker and you have a vavajay.

FURIOSA: So?

MAD MIKE: That’s the way God intended it to be! One man and one woman–just like it says in the Bible. I’m willing to overlook your crew-cut, prosthetic arm, and general lack of femininity.

FURIOSA: Gee, thanks. Actually, they practiced polygamy in the Old Testament. King David had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines.

MAD MIKE: Those were Jews, not Christians. You know how licentious they are. Talk to Mad Mel Gibson.

FURIOSA: Mormons practiced polygamy until the end of the nineteenth century. Some still do, in secret.

MAD MIKE: Mormons aren’t Christians either. Ask Mad Mitt Romney about that. And I thought you were against polygamy. You killed SPOILER ALERT Immortan Joe and liberated his five wives, didn’t you?

FURIOSA: My point is the definition of marriage has changed based on the needs of society. People used to get married at twelve or thirteen until they raised the age of consent.

MAD MIKE: It’s still sixteen in Arkansas, one of the lowest in the country–a fact I’m very proud of.

FURIOSA: Caucasians and African-Americans used to not be allowed to intermarry. The last anti-miscegenation law was repealed in 1967.

MAD MIKE: Obama was the product of race mixing. Need I say more?

FURIOSA: Catholic priests were allowed to marry until the twelfth century.

MAD MIKE: Again, not Christians. Those were Catholics. Talk to Mad Rick Santorum. Anyway, marriage was always between men and women, regardless of age, race, or number of individuals involved.

FURIOSA: Not true. The ancient Greeks had a form of gay marriage, and they invented democracy.

MAD MIKE: Democracy is overrated. Have you seen the Republican presidential candidates this primary season?

FURIOSA: You’ve got a point. Okay, Native Americans had Two-Spirit people.

MAD MIKE: You know what happened to the Native Americans. You want to run a casino in the desert and sell cigarettes, be my guest.

FURIOSA: Actually, a casino in the desert wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Maybe I can start my own Las Vegas.

MAD MIKE: You’ve been hanging out with Eve Ensler and her Vulvalini too much. Next you’ll be telling me women aren’t chattel. Speaking of Vulvalini, let’s discuss personal grooming. Does the carpet match the drapes?

FURIOSA: What?

MAD MIKE: Do you shave or wax?

FURIOSA: Neither. Although I’m thinking of getting a Brazilian to protest Jeb Bush.

Furiosa starts to climb back in her War Rig.

MAD MIKE: Hey, I thought all you female action/adventure heroines secretly suffered from baby hunger. Didn’t you see Avengers: Age of Ultron?

FURIOSA: I’m not the Black Widow and you’re certainly not the Hulk. He’s much larger…in every single way.

MAD MIKE: Now you’ve done it! You’ve insulted my manhood! You’re so mean!

Mad Mike starts crying,

FURIOSA: Stop! I can’t stand to see a grown man cry. Okay, I’ll do it–I’ll marry you.

MAD MIKE (slyly): You will?

FURIOSA: Yes.

Mad Mike immediately turns off the waterworks.

MAD MIKE: Terrific! Once we’re married, I’ll be head of the household, and you’ll be my submissive helpmate, just the way God intended it to be. Then we’ll go forth, be fruitful, and multiply. I want a big family–ten or twelve kids at least. Maybe we can even beat the Duggars’ record! Well, what do you say?

Furiosa hits him in the lug nuts with a tire iron. The last vestige of Christianity collapses. Oh, what day! What a lovely day!

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

I’m In An Open Marriage And You Would Never Know It

By Gwen & Lark for YourTango

Everyone has a secret. Things we don’t want people to know because we are embarrassed, too proud or too private. We keep secrets because some things are too intimate and special for anyone else to know. But sometimes we keep secrets because we may feel like we will be harshly judged and don’t want to invite the criticism that may follow. Often, we just simply don’t know who we can trust with sensitive information because it might illicit unwanted gossip.

For example, you would never know I have an “open” marriage. I’m not the lady in the 4-inch heels at school pick up that wears skin-tight jeans or has DD implants. I don’t have wild parties where people stagger home with someone else’s spouse because they picked their car keys from a bowl on the coffee table. I’m just another mom who drives a sensible car, does the grocery shopping, wears clothes from Ann Taylor, goes jogging to stay fit — and occasionally has sex with men who are not my husband.

If I ever told you about this part of my life — which I probably wouldn’t unless you were an extremely close friend — your first reaction might be “What? How? But what about your kids?”

Surely, you already have an image in your mind about what an open marriage is.

It’s often mistaken for polygamy, where a man lives together with multiple women like the show Sister Wives or Big Love. Or you might think that it’s a convenient excuse for a husband to have sex with other women without losing the security of having a wife or the social complexities of having a mistress.

What most people who have never experienced an open marriage might not understand is that every open marriage is different. And it’s probably not what you think, unless you know someone personally who has one. (And you probably do, you just don’t know it yet!).

Not everyone in an open marriage is some kind of sex-addicted freak show. Between household duties, raising children and having a meaningful relationship with my husband, I do not have a lot of time to dedicate to having sex with other people, even if I wanted to.

I do not have sex with every man I meet. I do not want to steal your husband. I do not even want to have sex with your husband. I do not have sex at the grocery store or soccer practice or bring strange men into our home.

My open marriage did not start out as such. It was very much closed with a big, iron door and the thought of that ever changing never once crossed my mind in the first 13 years of our marriage. My husband, on the other hand, had been making threesome jokes for at least 10 of those 13 years and often wondered out loud about all the sex he missed out on in his youth.

He grew up in a very conservative family where sex before marriage was considered a sin. I had a similar upbringing but had secretly given in to my desires and had been with someone before I met my husband. I felt incredibly guilty about it because that’s not what “good” girls do.

But eventually the reasons against experimenting sexually with other people were overshadowed by the curiosity — and the exhausting requests by my husband.

We didn’t know exactly how this kind of thing worked, so we took a risk and asked some friends who we thought might know. It’s a delicate subject to broach, but we felt like a few conversations we had in the past left us with some clues that they were, if not in an open marriage, at least open-minded people when it came to sex.

Our hunch was right, and they told us about a place in town where we could go — what you might call a “Swingers Club”. After talking about it for so long, I was ready to at least go and have a look and was excited and nervous to see what it was like. The club itself was dark with a lot of scantily-clad women and sharply dressed men dancing or milling around the bar sipping drinks while lights flashed and stage smoke puffed up from the floor. Some people were sitting on the vinyl couches in a separate area behind the dance floor, chatting and caressing each other.

The beat of the music was pounding as hard as my heart was pumping in my chest. What am I doing here? Am I weird for wanting to know what happens here? Am I depraved? While most people hired a babysitter to go to dinner and a movie, we had left our children at home so we could watch come here and … what?

Pretty much anything goes in a club of that nature, but it’s different for everyone.

For our first foray, we stayed together and only exchanged touches with other couples. We had agreed in advance this was more of a reconnaissance mission than a full-blown invasion into open marriage. But that night things happened — I won’t go into detail out of respect for my husband — that sparked a change in what the both of us wanted and needed in our marriage. Our curiosity (and the subsequent desire to satisfy it) came from a place of safety and security in the relationship we had fostered over the last decade.

It has been a few years since our first visit to that club and our relationship has changed and grown with time, as all relationships tend to do. The rules of our open marriage have evolved and developed over time, where we now both understand what the other person needs ,and we feel comfortable with that.

The key for us is communication and respect. It also means that our relationship comes first. We spend quality time together, we date each other, we clean the house on Saturdays and take the kids to dance and soccer. And occasionally, if one of us is on a solo business trip or a night on the town with friends, that big iron door is flung open and we let ourselves have fun. We’re young(ish), good-looking and in good shape. And we enjoy it when it feels right and safe.

None of our outside experiences are kept private from each other.

We both know what the other spouse is doing, and sometimes we do it together. I’m happy to share with my spouse the details of any sexual adventure I might have, just as he would do for me if I asked (although we don’t always want to know). An open marriage for me means having new sexual experiences without guilt or shame.

As “open” as we are with each other about this aspect in our relationship, we are not open about it with our kids. Just like we don’t talk to them about the complexities of getting a mortgage, why and how we invest our money or what kind of birth control we use, we don’t talk to our kids about this small but delicate aspect to our marriage.

They’re too young to understand that if mom sleeps with the mailman (just kidding — he’s not my type) that that doesn’t mean Mom and Dad are getting a divorce. They don’t understand about commitment, unity or loyalty on the level required when discussing an open marriage. They’re kids — and they need to stay that way.

So they play with Barbies, Legos and fight with each other and don’t ever have to worry about whether Mom and Dad love each other. Because we show them every day when we eat breakfast together or dance around the kitchen or cheer them on that we’re a family and that’s never going to change.

But if the day comes when one of them says to me, “You know, Mom, this one time I heard a rumor… ” I’m not going to lie.

I will sit down with my child and answer any questions they might have and explain that for us, this lifestyle works. Maybe then they will be ready to grasp the idea that you can love someone, spend your life devoted to them emotionally, be best friends, lovers… and have sex with someone else on the side. But until that day comes, I’ll keep the secret between me, my husband and, well, you.

Unomum is our space to explore the many million issues of single motherhood, but it’s also for all the ladies — women stuck in shitty marriages, unfulfilled broads wishing for divorce, and happily coupled former single moms with a shit-ton of wisdom to share.

This article originally appeared on YourTango.

More content from YourTango:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Effective Marriage Counseling: A Unique Approach

Many people believe that successful marriage counseling is a “hit and miss” proposition. However, as a practicing psychotherapist with over 35 years of clinical experience, specializing in the area of couples therapy, I believe the majority of couples I have treated have had successful outcomes, largely because of the methodological techniques I have used.

There is a false belief among patients and therapists alike who think that resolving a couple’s communication and problem-solving skills will alone improve and mend a broken relationship. Although effective communication and conflict resolution skills is a prerequisite to having a happy relationship, I have found that that there are two other steps that need to take place before one is able to focus on a couple’s communication skills.

First, a thorough assessment of the relationship has to happen. This assessment cannot be done in 45 minutes or an hour. I have found that long sessions — lasting anywhere from 3-5 consecutive hours in the beginning of a couple’s therapy — gives the couple and the therapist the necessary information and momentum to be able to grasp what the issues are (past and present) that need to be acknowledged, addressed and resolved.

I begin at the beginning when both people had stars in their eyes and when each could do no wrong. Despite the fact that we can’t change history, it is very important for the couple and the therapist to identify, understand and discuss what went wrong and what events and /or behavior caused the couple to get off track. Was it the birth of the first or second child? Was the couple experiencing financial or job related difficulties? Did one or both have physical, emotional, or psychiatric problems that changed the dynamics of the relationship? Was there a death or illness in the family? Did sex become a problem? Or did the couple simply grow apart?

Secondly, I see the partners individually, in order to discover who they are as individuals. I need to know about each person’s family history, their skeletons in the closet, including possible depression, anxiety and other psychiatric problems, early child sexual abuse, substance abuse and sexual or sexual orientation or gender issues. I also need to find out whether one or both are involved in extramarital affairs. And if that is the case, I would never begin couple’s counseling until that issue was resolved. Namely, the affair would have to end before couples counseling could begin.

And third, if one or both people have significant psychological or psychiatric problems, these need to be dealt with first on an individual basis. It is simply not possible to treat the couple’s communication and sexual problems, his affair, her depression, his addiction to pornography and cocaine all at the same time. And yes, I do both the individual and couples therapy, since virtually every couple that I have treated who needed some individual work preferred not to be referred to another therapist. Naturally, if one or both did want to work with another therapist individually, the marriage counseling would then be put on hold.

My patients understand this methodology and embrace it. When the couple and I are finally ready to meet together as a threesome, we are ready to focus on the “we” issues. I ask each person to make an agenda of issues that need to be discussed and worked through. The agenda items are then prioritized by the individuals and then and only then are they ready to learn the art of emotional communication and problem-solving. They then begin to tackle the issues one by one.

Couples are taught how to discuss and make compromises and trade-offs. They learn that the win/lose model is a disaster for marriages and are committed to learning how to reach win/win resolutions. I teach them ”how to say it,” ‘”if to say it,” “where to say it,” “when to say it” and how to do this respectfully. Role play is used extensively throughout. This is very hard and painful work. And as a therapist, I am very active and directive. My model has proven to be so successful that I will not accept new patients who do not agree to this process at the outset.

There have been a small percentage of couples who I have treated who have decided to divorce. In making this decision they are aware of what went wrong. Each person is clear about what they did or didn’t do that contributed to the end of their marriage. And most are then able to divorce without the rage and wrath that so frequently comes with the demise of a marriage, knowing that they at least tried to resolve their difficulties.

BUT WHAT ABOUT CONFLICT OF INTEREST AND CONFIDENTIALITY?

CASE STUDY– MEET THE JOHNSONS

Joe, 45, and Jane, 40, have been married for five years. This is a second marriage for both. The Johnsons were referred to me by Joe’s urologist for couple’s counseling. When I spoke to Joe’s doctor in order to rule out any medical problems, he told me that Joe’s testosterone level was normal and that he could find no medical reason for Joe’s lack of interest in sex. The couple had not had sex in over two years and Jane was becoming more and more depressed. Up to this point, Joe would simply not discuss this issue with his wife. When we all finally met, we were clear about their sexless relationship. The real question was why did Joe have no interest in sex and more importantly, could this marriage be saved. I intuitively knew that I would discover a wealth of information when I met with the couple individually.

JANE
Jane was convinced that Joe no longer found her attractive and was concerned that he was having an extra-marital affair. Her symptoms of depression were clearly understandable under the circumstances. However, she did not meet the criteria for clinical depression. Other than the sexual issue, Jane was a very happy woman and loved her life and her husband.

JOE
When I met with Joe alone the first thing that he asked me was whether everything that he told me would be confidential. I explained to him that I was legally and ethically bound to honor his privacy. Joe proceeded to tell me that he was gay and that he did not want his wife to ever know this. Although he was not sexually permissive, he did on occasion see a man who he had known for many years. Joe also told me that he loved his wife and did not want a divorce. However, he also said that he had no desire to have a sexual relationship with her. Although Joe would have one too many beers on occasion, he too seemed basically contented with his life.

THE DILEMMA
If Joe had seen his own individual therapist after our initial couple’s evaluation, I would never have known about his sexual orientation. I would have spent time trying to help the couple improve their sex life. I would have used the Master’s and Johnson techniques and would have encouraged them to experiment with sex toys, pornography and schedule dates for sex. This would have been a complete waste of time, money and energy for everyone. Knowing what I knew, I needed to help Jane accept the fact that her husband loves her dearly, does not want a divorce, but no longer has any interest in having a sexual relationship with her. She would then have to decide whether she would continue to live in a sexless marriage or not.

THE JOHNSONS TOGETHER

Joe and Jane met together for one session after the initial visit. Joe was kind but firm. He told her that he loved her, found her very attractive physically and intellectually and hoped to spend the rest of his life with her. He also told her that the problem was his and that he would understand if she wanted a divorce. Jane told him that she needed more time to think about the situation. I never heard from either Jane or Joe again. A few years later I bumped into Jane at an event. She whispered in my ear that she had divorced Joe and was now engaged to a wonderful man. “Our sex life is great,” she said.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

What You’ll Never Fix About Your Marriage (and Why You Don’t Have to)

I planned to tell my now-husband that it wasn’t going to work out on our third date. He was very sweet, respectful and handsome but my internal voice suggested we weren’t compatible enough.

He was in sales; I was studying to be a therapist. We had different views on religion. With his short hair and clean-shaven face he was more clean-cut than my previous boyfriends. And our first kiss had just been so-so. I had my doubts about where this might go.

On that date, however, as we shot pool and munched peanuts I ended up having such a great time that I decided to give him a chance, and that evening the kiss was delicious.

Over twelve years of marriage and parenting, our differences have, at times, been the source of conflict. But what I’ve learned to hold onto is that, it’s the doubt, judgment and criticism of our differences, that are toxic — not the number of ways we differ.

Of course, we all want to share some fundamental things — and to have a successful relationship we’ve got to have the basics — safety, love, trust and commitment. But compatibility is more about the ways we draw on one another’s strengths to build a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.

More than, “Do we have enough in common?” or “Can he finish my sentences?” I think the important question is: “Am I open and willing to work towards finding the gifts in our similarities and differences?”

There are red flag issues like abuse or dishonesty, and then there’s the other stuff: I’m outdoorsy and he’s not, I’m neat and he’s messy, I’m a meat-eater and he’s vegetarian. These differences aren’t deal-breakers. In fact, our fixation on the ways that our husband is “too different” from us is the actual thing that keeps us from being compatible.

But what do we do when we find ourselves focusing on, and judging our marriage, for the qualities we don’t share?

Here are some tips for nurturing true compatibility:

  • Watch out for unrealistic expectations. Soul mates can be found, but more often they are co-created.
  • Pay attention to your focus. We invest our energy where we choose to focus. Choose gratitude instead of criticism as often as possible.
  • Cut your circular thinking. Train your mind instead of having it rule you. Practices like meditation are invaluable for this skill.
  • Choose curiosity over criticalness. What are the differences about? What do they add to the relationship? (Embrace those things.)
  • Get into your body: breathe, stretch, notice. Criticism is often more about fear than about true incompatibility.

Twelve years later, my husband and I are going strong with 2 kids, 2 dogs, 5 chickens and a guinea pig. Our differences have, at times, been the source of conflict, but in working through that conflict our love and commitment have grown.
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Marriage and Cancer: 10 Ways to Maintain Your Relationship After a Diagnosis

2015-03-04-1425443852-222590-madsenwedding952BW.jpg

Marriage is hard work. It requires a level of effort, dedication and commitment unparalleled to other relationships. One of the first pieces of marital wisdom I received from my parents was exactly that — “Marriage takes work. It’s not a stroll in the park.”

Marriage captures the ability of two people to rely on one another through both the good and bad times. It measures one’s character and integrity through the act of caring for another. As with any relationship, most marriages experience high peaks and low valleys. A diagnosis will bring out the best and worst of you and your partner. It has the potential to tear your relationship apart or bring you closer together more intimately than you could have imagined. As the saying goes, it’s not about what happens to you, it’s about how you respond. Upon receiving the news of a diagnosis, you must make the choice to not only fight the disease, but also fight for your relationship. Below are 10 ways to help your marriage after a diagnosis.

Commit: Above anything else, you must make the conscious decision to commit — both to your spouse and to the process. Commitment doesn’t automatically happen when you speak your vows. It is a choice that must be repeated over the course of your relationship. Your journey through cancer requires steadfastness and faithfulness to one another. You need to assume that life is going to get extremely bumpy and uncomfortable. Nearly everything you have encountered thus far has been butterflies, fairy dust, and roses and you’re about to endure some of the most difficult moments in your life. Both of you will be pulled in different directions and be influenced in many ways. When things get ugly, complications arise, and grief pours over you both, you need to hold tight to each other. Commit yourself to be there for one another no matter what happens.

Communicate: Continue to talk. Grief is expressed in a variety of ways and for some, it shows itself in silence. Though there will be times when you need to process on your own, don’t build a wall between you and your loved one. In an atmosphere of silence, assumptions are birthed and hurt will grow. Communicating can bring healing to your relationship. You will both experience different emotions from the moment you hear the news of the diagnosis, and being on the exact same emotional page will be a rarity. Keeping the lines of communication open will benefit your marriage by drawing you closer to one another and preventing hurt feelings in the future. It’s OK to express your fears and anxieties. And equally so, it’s OK to share your faith and hope. Be vulnerable and loving in your communication, and understand that talking things through will only benefit the bond you have with your spouse.

Prioritize: Life moves quickly upon receiving a diagnosis. Medical decisions will need to be made. You’ll need to find a team of doctors that you feel comfortable with. Treatment will be discussed, and you will need to choose which option is best for you. Eventually you’ll feel in over your head as the chaos circles around you. Keeping a list of priorities will help establish balance. Be aware of what tasks are at hand and stay on the same page as your spouse. Communicate what is most important to your relationship. Is it more important to preserve your fertility before beginning harsh treatments? Do you want to establish a medical banking account to manage expenses? Put yourselves first and be OK saying “no” to those around you. Your health and your marriage are number one.

Be flexible: Plans change… that’s life. When cancer rears it’s ugly head into your relationship, you need to start stretching. Many of your dreams, goals, and desires for your life and family will abruptly come to a halt. Keep a tight grip on your non-negotiables and let insignificant matters go. Change is difficult, but being flexible is more valuable than gold. Go with the flow. Some plans will fizzle and new dreams will come forth. Flexibility allows room for growth.

Stay on the same team: Cancer can bring out the worst in us. Anger is one of the most common emotions that patients and their families deal with. Remember that each of you process things differently, and that no way is better than the other. Allow each other space to grieve and be sympathetic towards one another. Remember that you are fighting cancer, not your loved one. Direct your anger towards the root of the issue, and don’t let your emotions erupt in an attack on your spouse. Though at times you’ll feel your partner doesn’t understand what you are going through, don’t alienate them and turn them into the enemy. You’re on the same team, and you each play a vital position. Work together at working through it.

Pursue: We’ve all heard that we should continue to date our spouse after our wedding day. Whether to keep things interesting or to continue to nurture the bond, pursuing each other is important to your relationship. This shouldn’t stop after a diagnosis. Though it will require a deeper level of intent, consistently seeking each other out will be rewarded. Make time for one another. Go out of your way to make your spouse feel special. Pursue your partner’s heart. Ask questions about how they are doing and be a good listener when they respond. Treatments and the subsequent side effects may get in the way of your typical dinner and a movie date night, but if you are creative you can cultivate new ways to deepen your bond. Remember that dates don’t have to be fancy or extravagant, and most likely won’t be for a while.

Be grateful: Have you ever met someone so full of gratitude that it made you reflect on what you’re thankful for? Having an attitude of gratitude in all circumstances will change your view of the most difficult times. Though you’ll have a large list of things you are angry, upset, and resentful over, make an effort to think of things that you are thankful for. Thanksgiving is one of the quickest ways to heal a hardened heart. Make a list. Whether in your mind or on paper, write down specific items you are grateful for. Be thankful for the details. Be thankful for all things big and little. Be thankful for the life and love you share with one another. An attitude of gratitude will transform your perspective and will strengthen your spirit throughout your battle.

Remain intimate: Intimacy isn’t always about sex. Though sex is one of the fundamental ways to be intimate with your partner, there are other means to stay connected. Unfortunately, cancer robs many people of their sexual function, yet marriages continue to blossom even without intercourse. When biology is thrown off, creativity is born. Adapting to your current situation will benefit you both. Be gentle with one another. Discover new ways to develop a more profound connection. Hold hands. Share secrets. Kiss. Being affectionate will remind your partner that you are invested in them. If you allow it, the intimacy in your relationship can reach new heights after a diagnosis. Vulnerability will welcome intimacy.

Remember your vows: Think back to the day you stood in front of your friends and family and made lifelong promises to your spouse. What did you say? More than likely, you vowed to stay by your partner in sickness and in health. While you probably had no idea that sickness meant cancer, you promised your partner you would not leave them when things got rough. You vowed to stand with each other no matter what. You vowed to love one another and cherish one another. There will be moments in your journey after your diagnosis that all you have left is the man or woman standing beside you. Think back to your wedding day. If you knew then what you know now, would your decision be different? True, authentic, raw love knows no bounds. You loved them then… love them now.
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

The Marriage Secret No One Wants To Admit

By Lyz Lenz for YourTango

When one of my friends got engaged, he was over the moon. At dinner one night, he told my husband how much he was in love.

“It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before!” he said so sweetly that it was easy to forgive him the cliche.

“I know,” my husband said smiling at me. “It’s great being in love.”

“No,” our friend said shaking his head. “This is different than what you have. We never fight, ever.”

I winced, but my husband maintained his gracious smile. “That’s great! We can’t wait to be at that wedding.”

Six months after their wedding, I got a call from our friend. I could tell something was bothering him. “Are you alright?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s just that we fought and it was really bad.”

After talking with him some more, I learned that a “really bad” fight meant that she walked out of the room on him only to return a half-hour later to apologize.

I told him about our fights. I told him how we had both slammed doors, said really horrible things, stomped, and not only left the room but left the house for hours on end, returning to fight again instead of make up. I told him how I, in a fit of anger, had thrown away an entirely good batch of cookies just so my husband couldn’t eat them. I had also hidden cookies, turned up the thermostat and left every single light on in the house (including flashlights and closet lights), just to irk my husband. Also, once, I air-conditioned the outside. I still haven’t apologized for that.

When I finished, we were both laughing and my friend was breathing easier.

When love is newly minted, it’s easy to be insular and believe that you and your partner have everything figured out, that nothing can ever shake you, you will never fight, and nothing so stupid as socks on the floor could ever make you raise your voice at that adorable face. I don’t mean to be condescending. It’s a great time. Every couple has it and it is my sincere wish that it lasts as long as possible.

But it doesn’t.

At some point in every marriage, you will find yourself sobbing into your pillow over toothpaste caps and if you don’t, you’re a Stepford Wife.

When Dave and I got married, no one told us about these ugly moments — when something as simple as sweeping the floor can cause you to question whether you’ve committed to the right “forever after.” A friend once told me that she felt horrible for questioning her choice of spouse until she told her mom, who has been married for 50 years. “Oh honey,” her mom said, “I ask that question at least once a week.”

In the early days of our marriage, I felt ashamed about coming clean about our arguments. Wasn’t I being disloyal? Wouldn’t people think horrible things about us? But the truth is, the more I talked to married couples, the more I realized how normal it is to occasionally slam a door, or hide a cookie, or lay in bed and wonder if you just committed to the same old remote control fight for as long as you both shall live.

I am forever indebted to a couple who told my husband and me a story about their epic battle over putting together a bookshelf. During the heat of the fight, the husband walked out of their apartment. The wife then decided the best way to make him sorry was to eat an entire pie his mother had made for him. When he came back, he found his wife, in the middle of the kitchen floor, her face covered in blueberry pie, crying. He grabbed a fork and joined her. They’ve been married for 20 years.

At the time, I remember feeling shocked. How could they say they had a good marriage when they were both that ridiculous?

That, of course, was before I stooped low and hid the cookies. Now, I cling to that blueberry pie story like a talisman. On my worst days, it reminds me, we can be both dumb and happily married. I’m not condoning acts of childishness or silly fights. It’s good to always keep perspective, but the truth is you can’t always keep perspective. In those moments, when you’ve lost all dignity and you are covered in blueberry pie and crying on the floor, just know, it’s OK. We’ve all been there, whether we admit it or not.

Recently, during a fight, I told my husband, “You know what? I’m OK with this fight. I know I have the rest of my life to spend making you learn how to do the laundry.”

“That’s right,” he said, “and I have the rest of my life to train you to turn the lights out in the house.” Then, we went to bed, still a little angry, but very much committed to figuring it out as long as we both shall live.

This article originally appeared on YourTango.

More from YourTango:


Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Oklahoma Lawmaker Wants To Test Everybody For Syphilis Before Marriage

If one Oklahoma lawmaker has his way, people with sexually transmitted diseases will not just be getting married in his state.

Senate Bill 733, introduced by state Sen. Anthony Sykes (R), would require both partners to take a blood test within 30 days of applying for a marriage license. A license would be granted only if “in the opinion of the physician, the persons named therein are not infected with syphilis or other communicable or infectious diseases or, if infected, that such diseases are not in a stage which may be communicable to the marriage partner,” the bill says.

Problem number one: the potential public release of private medical information. The full text of the bill implies that the office that grants marriage licenses would also keep copies of the blood tests, according to Oklahoma’s News 9. This might violate the federal Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, which is designed to protect the confidentiality of Americans’ medical records.

Problem number two: Oklahoma used to require a premarital blood test for syphilis but eliminated it in 2004 — for good reason. At that time, NewsOK.com reported, the Oklahoma State Department of Health said that some 300,000 blood tests in the past five years had turned up just five new cases of syphilis.

As recently as 1980, there were 34 states that demanded a premarital blood test, but virtually every state has repealed that requirement since. Today, only Montana still has it on the books.

Blood test requirements “were enacted in the first half of the twentieth century as part of public health campaigns to reduce the spread of communicable diseases and prevent birth defects. The laws required couples applying for a marriage license to be screened for certain conditions, commonly rubella or syphilis,” explains a 2009 study led by Kasey Buckles at the University of Notre Dame. “However, after penicillin proved to be a cheap and effective treatment for syphilis and vaccines were developed for rubella, these screenings were no longer considered cost-effective.”

In other words, Sykes is trying to revive an old and largely discredited idea. An attorney, he has served in the state Senate since 2006, two years after the Oklahoma repeal.

So far, his proposed legislation has been referred to the Judiciary Committee, which Sykes chairs. There are currently no co-sponsors.

h/t Salon
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

One of the most frequently asked questions that Linda and I have been receiving lately is “How do you know when to call it quits?” A lot of people, it seems are more concerned about getting out of a bad relationship than creating a great one. It could very well be that this focus may actually contribute to the creation of the conditions that make relationship break-downs (and break-ups) more likely. While it’s certainly understandable that some couples require pre-nuptial agreements in their marriage, when a couple’s primary focus is on the possible break-up of their relationship is more dominant than a focus on the deepening of their connection, they may be inadvertently contributing to the very outcome that they fear may occur.

And yet to deny that every marriage is vulnerable to the many possible pitfalls that can threaten relationships is naïve and potentially dangerous. One of the things that we’ve discovered over the years is that no marriage is absolutely divorce-proof. That doesn’t mean, of course that divorce just comes out of nowhere and occurs arbitrarily, but rather that any relationship, no matter how solid it is, can, if neglected, slip into a state in which it becomes vulnerable to conditions that can cause serious harm.

While it is important to be mindful of what steps can be taken to preserve an endangered relationship, it is of course, preferable to create a sustained reciprocal connection that makes such an outcome unlikely. Strengthening the shared commitment and practicing mutual generosity, compassion, honesty, kindness, and respect are all ways of maximizing the likelihood of not only staying together, but of experiencing greater fulfillment over time. Yet for a variety of reasons, many of us are unable to practice these skills and embody these qualities consistently. And even when we make our best efforts, there still may be factors that make it difficult or even impossible for us to continue in our attempts to salvage the relationship.

The truth is that not all relationships can or should be saved. There are such things as ‘deal breakers,’ those conditions that one or both partners find themselves unable to continue to tolerate in the relationship. Examples can include chronic dishonesty, untreated addictions in which there is denial and an unwillingness to get help, a change or revelation of a difference in one’s sexual preference, repeated violations of trust without a willingness to repair the damage, physical or emotionally abusive behavior without any motivation to change, or violations of a commitment to monogamy.

These are some examples of conditions that can be deal-breakers for couples but don’t necessarily spell the kiss of death if they occur. The key variable has to do with whether or not there is willingness on the part of the both partners to work on the issue and acknowledge the problem. A willingness to address a potentially relationship-busting condition doesn’t guarantee that the marriage will be saved, only that there is at least a chance that it might be. When destructive patterns are repeatedly played out without a committed effort on both partners’ parts to address them, the prognosis becomes very poor.

So, how do you know “when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em?” There is no generic answer to this question. Every situation must be considered on the basis of it’s own set of circumstances and the unique aspects of each individual and of the couple itself.
There are, however, a few guidelines that may be useful to consider when it comes to recognizing whether or not to keep on keepin’ on.

While some people may hang on to an impossibly broken-down relationship beyond the point where there is any possibility of its rejuvenation, many others make the mistake of giving up too soon. They choose to cut their losses and get out (or try to manipulate their partner into ending the relationship) before they have done all that they can do to keep it alive. While it’s easy to give someone the advice to hang in there and keep trying, this is easier said than done. One of the things that motivates us to leave a relationship is that the process of working through the difficulties can be painful, sometimes unbearably so, and if we haven’t developed a heightened capacity to tolerate this type of pain, the impulse to cut and run is very strong.

The time to strengthen our resilience and our ability to endure the emotional pain that these efforts often require is during the times when things aren’t horribly broken down. If we avoid dealing with upsets, disappointments, and differences during the better times, feelings tend to accumulate and when they inevitably break through our patterns of denial, they are much more intense than they were when the differences first manifested themselves.

The more practiced we are in dealing with differences, the more skilled we are likely to be in our efforts to resolve them. Still, even the most experienced and skilled among us sometimes need assistance in freeing ourselves from entrenched patterns. Recognizing when we’ve reached our limit in handling things is a critically important skill that allows us to know when we’ve got to call in the cavalry or in this case, professional helpers. A large percentage of the couples that we interviewed for our second book, at one time or another acknowledged their need for some form of help and got it. Several of them told us that without that help they doubt that they would have made it. So knowing when you need the help and getting it when you do is a vital aspect of the process of getting a marriage off of the rocks when it’s on them. Refusing to do this can be costly.

We encourage each partner to focus on doing his or her own work; that is, what each needs to do in order to develop the inner qualities that will promote the development of greater health, well-being and loving connection in the relationship. It can be difficult to resist the temptation to “confess your partner’s sins.” but doing so generally only generates more defensiveness and resentment in the relationship. It’s a far better practice to identify what your own work is in order to become a more loving, honest, courageous, compassionate, responsible, and committed partner and to get on with it. Knowing yourself well enough to know when you’ve given something your best effort and knowing when pushing yourself to do more is destructive to yourself is the most important thing that you can know at this stage of the game.

If you get to a point where you can’t give any more without burning out, it’s time to at least temporarily take a self-care break and get the restoration that you need. Reengage when you’re more replenished and keep hanging in there until one of two things happens:

  1. Your partner joins you in a commitment to do deepen the quality of your relationship by doing their own work. They will be more likely to be open to this if you are not focused on fixing or changing them and you continue to focus on yourself rather than them.
  2. The other possibility is that one or both of you may reach a point where you feel that you can’t continue the effort without compromising your own integrity, health, well-being or sanity. It’s possible to reach a point where you have lost the motivation, will, or even the desire to keep trying. The longer you wait to do your work, the more likely it is that you will reach this point because of a build-up of resentment, hurt, or despair.

There is always a risk in giving something your best shot. What you are at the risk of losing is the hope that everything will somehow turn out fine, because one way or another, things will become clearer to you. What you have the possibility of gaining is a relationship that has a foundation that can sustain you both for the rest of your lives, and the tools and wisdom that can grow your connection into ever-deepening love and devotion. The choice is yours.
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Jon Stewart Says Mike Huckabee’s Gay Marriage Stance ‘Makes No F**king Sense’

Daily Show” host Jon Stewart appears to have a new hobby: tearing apart Mike Huckabee’s hypocrisy.

When the former Arkansas governor and possible 2016 presidential candidate was on the show last month, Stewart went after him for attacking Beyonce’s music but performing with Ted Nugent.

Now Stewart’s tearing apart Huckabee for the bizarre explanation he gave for opposing gay marriage. On Sunday, Huckabee said he can’t evolve on the issue because it’s a biblical matter.

“I can’t just ‘change’ with the ‘times’ if it means deviating from ‘biblical law,'” Stewart said (complete with the air quotes) in summing up Huckabee’s opposition to same-sex marriage. Then he pointed out a few other pieces of “biblical law,” at least two of which might not be as important to Huckabee.

“It’s why Huckabee never mixes fabric in his clothes or trims his beard or sleeps with another man’s slave,” Stewart said. “It would be wrong.”

Huckabee also declared that asking him to accept gay marriage would be like “asking somebody who’s Jewish to start serving bacon-wrapped shrimp in their deli.”

Stewart said that analogy “makes no fucking sense.”

“No one is forcing you to get metaphorically married to the biblical abomination that is this bacon-wrapped shrimp,” Stewart said.

And that led to one of the most unforgettable “Daily Show” interviews yet.

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
Entertainment News-Visit Adults Playland today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Watch Centenarians Discuss Their 80-Year Marriage And Be Charmed

Armed with centuries of experience and wit between them, 101-year-old Helen and 102-year-old Maurice Kaye will make you forget you’re watching branded content for an insurance company.

They’ve been married 80 years and have stories to tell. Like when they first met at Helen’s mother’s shop and chatted for hours, interrupting business. Or the diamond engagement ring Maurice sprung on Helen years after they tied the knot.

The couple is joined by two other long-marrieds who describe their happiest moments for British insurer Beagle Street. One woman’s recollection of her husband, now 100, returning from World War II will bring a lump to your throat.

H/T AdWeek
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

We Have a Marriage Crisis

2014-12-26-2014102120140821COFBannerthumbthumb.png

Coming of Faith brings the voices of Muslim American women to the world through multidimensional storytelling and empowerment initiatives. This post was originally published on Coming of Faith.

There is a marriage crisis amongst Muslims and I think that is putting it lightly. I am even having trouble trying to put my feelings on this matter into words because I am at a loss of where to start. I am not really sure how this happened, nor do I know how to fix things, but I do know that change has to occur.

Once we hit puberty, we are instructed by the community to not interact with the other gender. The boys you once raced around the masjid with are now covered in cooties, and “Circle, circle, dot, dot” is not a good enough vaccine in Islam. However, it seems to work outside of the mosque, because the Muslim boys you go to school with have no trouble talking to non-Muslim girls. What’s up with that?

In high school, which is already a precarious time, this pattern continued and I found that I was much more comfortable with non-Muslim boys than with the group of boys I once used to play with. Once upon a time, we could spend hours playing board games together at family parties, but now we can’t even manage to get two sentences out to each other without feeling all sorts of awkward.

Enter college, where MSAs can provide an excellent space to forge friendships, make connections, and build a community in your new home. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the greatest experience with my MSA. I was judged for not being a hijabi by one group of people, but also judged for not drinking by another group of people. This was my first introduction to the idea of being “good enough,” and because I couldn’t find comfort with the majority of Muslims on campus, I found my niche amongst my non-Muslim friends who respected and valued all of my characteristics and idiosyncrasies.

After graduation, I moved back home and rejoined the community at my local mosque. At this point, aunties began to ask intrusively when I was getting married. They would make comments to my mother: “Shame, she has such nice features, but her color…she is too dark. Have you looked into bleaching creams?” and, “I don’t think she would be able to find someone from America, you’re better of finding someone from back home. You know if you find a doctor, there is still a chance she can have a good life.”

To me, they would say: “Oh, you’re going to graduate school? Why? What are you going to do with that degree? Don’t you want to get married? You don’t want to be smarter than your husband.” “You can’t be too independent, no man will want to marry you if he feels that he can’t take care of you.” “You shouldn’t be too strong. Lower your voice and walk softly. Be a lady.” “Have you learned to cook? What do you make?”

With every comment and remark, I stifled my desire to rudely retort with a sassy answer. “Of course I can cook, do you think I starved all those years I lived by myself in college?” “When am I getting married? Good question, why don’t you ask Allah. Let me know what He says.”

It was as though my life was now dependent on my ability to get married. But once again, the community I should have found comfort in was diminishing my worth; they were finding ways to tell me I was not good enough.

I did want to get married though, so I tried to go about finding a partner the “halal” way. I went to matrimonial/speed-dating events. Once, when I stated that I did not like a particular Indian dish, this one guy did not know what to say to me for the next two minutes. Another guy barely listened to a thing I said, and after a minute and half, asked to just sit in silence because he was exhausted from talking. Not everyone was like that though. I did meet some nice guys, but there was just was no chemistry. I couldn’t figure out was missing, but I just was not clicking with anyone. It was as if we were all back in high school again, overcome with bouts of awkwardness. In general, although there were a variety of guys at these events, it became clear that most were looking for a specific type of look…a tall, fair-skinned, non-hijabi who was well educated but wanted to stay at home with the kids. I’m short, dark-skinned and I am determined to use my education to help save lives, while also making time for my children. I don’t care if I marry someone who makes enough money to support the family: I am passionate about what I do, and I am not ready to give that up just yet.

I’ve tried Muslim matrimonial websites, and although I have heard of a few success stories, I just met guys from abroad who barely spoke English and wanted to know if I was an American citizen. When I called one guy out on all of his lies, he told me that I was an ungrateful woman who will never get married. Wait, what?! Just because I asked why he switched careers from medicine to owning a clothing store in Pakistan?

I wish I could tell you that I just have the worst luck possible, but I know of women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s with similar stories and experiences. What is going on? We teach children to not interact with the other gender and yet, when they become of marriageable age, we automatically expect them to woo one another and marry quickly. But how can that be possible when men are taught to value superficial things, such as beauty? Even a degree is just for the name of it. This is not acceptable.

I just want a decent guy, with whom I have chemistry and an undeniable connection. I want someone who will be my partner; I want someone who respects me, all of me. And it’s a shame that I find that respect amongst non-Muslim men, while I struggle to find it with Muslim men. Why is it that I am bombarded with messages about not being good enough for Muslim men, yet non-Muslim men value my education, strength, voice, independence, and just about every characteristic that makes me who I am. I want someone who will be my spiritual partner, someone who values Islam the same way I do. But I am not sure where I am supposed to find him and I’m not the only one looking.

We have to change our standards, system, and community. We have to find a way to cut through all of these cultural traditions and values so that we can begin putting an emphasis on the right things that make a marriage strong. Something has to give, because I am tired of hearing that I am not good enough when I know that I am more than good enough. I am worthy of love, of a partner, of a good person, and that’s more than what is on a biodata.

Yasmine Shaikh is a spunky, loud-mouthed individual with an opinion for everything. 2014-12-26-silhouette150x150.jpgShe has a hard time hearing “No” and does not like to let things stop her. That said, she is devoted to her friends and family and is passionate about helping people. She grew up in a small New England town and is keen on experiencing life.
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Making Marriage Work

2014-12-17-WEDDINGPICLite.jpg
In honor of the fact that JoAnn and I are celebrating our thirty-seventh wedding anniversary this week, I thought I’d reflect a little on what I think has allowed our relationship to survive.

People express their understandings of a marriage in many different ways, but my friends Andrew and Claudia put it like this:

Each person takes turns being either a watering can or a flower. Sometimes we need to be watered, and sometimes we need to do the watering.

2014-12-17-WateringCan2.jpg I know. It’s a simple metaphor, but it works. Sure, sometimes I don’t feel like doing the watering, or I feel as though I’m completely out of water. I’m sure there are times when JoAnn feels the same way. But after thirty seven years, I’ve learned it’s worth finding the emotional resources necessary to nurture my mate — even if it means having to change my own focus or ignoring something that has irked me. In the end, making that effort comes back to me as a peaceful life, a calm environment, and a mate who digs deep for me when I need her. Being generous to someone I love seems a small price to pay.

I’ve known from the start that individual egos are the biggest enemy of a good relationship. Once someone begins to take umbrage, there’s a problem. Once the resentment begins to pile up, and both people become unwilling to water, the flower begins to wither. The key is making a conscious decision to break the cycle – essentially deciding that peace is more valuable than whatever is hanging up the conversation. I think JoAnn and I have done this (subconsciously) by creating an “ego” for our relationship, and considering how things feel (for each of us) before blowing into the china shop.

2014-12-17-WeddingWPic.jpgWhen we started out, we were just kids — seriously, we were 24 years old. In fact, now three of our four kids are older than we were when we got married. For whatever reason, on that day and for many days before it, we had a sense that we were right for each other.

For me, marriage wasn’t an emotional deal. I knew I “loved” JoAnn, but as I try to do with most things, I applied a little logic to my situation. My marriage theory was based on this thought: although I could probably approach any woman at a bar, introduce myself, have a fun conversation and end up having a “successful” evening, the fact is that I never approach that woman and I probably never would. Also, I knew that as a world-class procrastinator who never wrote a paper until the day before it was due, I figured marriage would create a series of deadlines to help me achieve my goals in life.

Both of those theories held true.

I also entered marriage with open eyes. When I told my father that I intended to marry JoAnn he said, “Son, you are going to meet three or four more women in your life whom you might find really attractive.” I said, “What? Are you telling me you don’t like JoAnn?” And he replied, “No, I love JoAnn, I’m just telling you what’s what.”

There will always be opportunities that we believe might make us happier, but trying to catch every ball may cause us to drop the one that is most appropriate for us. By letting me know that there would be understandable and common temptation, my father was trying to prepare me to acknowledge those possibilities and move on. Like an addict, I resolved to live my marriage “one day at a time” so that a lifetime of fidelity wouldn’t seem so daunting — and when the temptation to consider others arose, I made it through those days. On Wednesday I’m getting my 37 year chip.

2014-12-17-REGJEGFeetAnnivLite.jpg
The hallmark of our marriage is that we’re kind to each other. We don’t yell. We don’t call each other names. We don’t keep score. This doesn’t mean that we don’t get angry, or leave each other space when one is feeling tapped out. It means that our kindness is defined by the swallowing of pride, of understanding and generosity. One of us will do the dishes when neither of us feels like it, because the dishes aren’t going to wash themselves. We take care of each other, and consider each other’s needs as equal to our own. It’s our agreement, and we both know we’re better for it.

People will object, “That’s easy for you to say, you married the right person.” But, the fact is we’ve spent years training each other. No one comes out of the box designed to co-habitate perfectly. We’ve learned to pick our battles. We’ve learned what isn’t going to change, and we’ve managed to get over it. We all have our nuances, things that can drive others crazy… or not. Our choice is to see those things as part of the process and move beyond them. Learning to trust and communicate about them, rather than suffering in silence, is one of the keys to moving forward.

2014-12-17-REGJEGLaguna_2013.jpgThere’s an old expression — “Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?” I like being both, and my wife knows it — so she humors me (until I admit that I was wrong).

Marriage is not 50/50 – it’s 90/90. Give more than half and it’ll make 37 years go by in the wink of an eye.
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

What ‘Girlfriends’ Guide To Divorce’ Taught Newlywed Lisa Edelstein About Marriage

Earlier this year, Lisa Edelstein found herself in a unique scenario: On May 25, she was marrying artist Robert Russell, and the next day she was driving to Vancouver to play a newly single woman in Bravo’s “Girlfriends’ Guide To Divorce.”

Luckily for Edelstein, portraying a divorcee taught her a lot about being a newlywed, she told HuffPost Live’s Josh Zepps on Thursday.

“It really planted a seed to remind myself on a daily basis not to take my husband for granted, not to take our relationship for granted, to really remember that anything can end,” she said.

That reminder is important because divorce is becoming more and more common in American life, Edelstein added. And she has been touched by it too.

“My husband was in the middle of a divorce when I met him, so I have walked through divorce from that point of view. I have stepchildren, so learning how to have an alternative family is something you’re really not trained for,” she said.

Watch Lisa Edelstein discuss divorce in the video above, and click here for her full HuffPost Live conversation.

Sign up here for Live Today, HuffPost Live’s morning email that will let you know the newsmakers, celebrities and politicians joining us that day and give you the best clips from the day before!
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Can This Marriage Survive…?

When I was growing up there was a magazine that featured a column, “Can This Marriage Survive?” Divorce was pretty uncommon in those days and I was fascinated by the monthly column and the predicaments the men and women who were featured in the article got themselves into. At some level a lot of the advice in that column must have stayed with me, because I’ve been married a long, long time. Our long-time marriage is kind of a dinosaur in this day and age where starter marriages have become the norm.

So saying, this may be the year that I need to remember all the advice that was in the columns. I wrote a post a couple of months ago about the Family Reunion. Four days of being together with the family can be a bit stressful. Just look at how people dread the holiday season — and it’s not always about gaining the ten pounds from eating well.

Then my husband and I had to deal with the death of our beloved boxer, Rebel. Anyone who’s ever had a pet knows what it’s like to return home and not have your little friend there to greet you. And then the decision about whether to get another pet — and if we got the same breed would we always compare the new one to Rebel? The jury’s still out on that one.

The next major survival was a 10-day road trip that my husband and I just returned from. Actually, it was a wonderful trip. We took a couple of things off of our bucket list by visiting Zion and Bryce National Parks. We relaxed in Sedona, played golf in Scottsdale, and visited one of the best national history museums I’ve ever seen. My husband had noticed it on the Internet. There was no advertising leading up to it; it was just plunked down in the desert between the two National Parks. Animals, arrowheads, birds, etc. were all displayed in authentic settings along with over 500 butterflies. If you decide to do the parks, this is a “don’t miss” place to put on your agenda. We even survived me driving at times, him navigating, and me missing the washed-out golf cart path and almost upending the cart. However, all that pales with what’s coming next.

Tomorrow begins the demolition of the kitchen. Yup, a complete redo. When you live in a house for a number of years, you overlook sagging cupboards, water stains on interior cabinets where coffee cups have been put away before they were completely dry, dated pulls, and drawers that squeak every time they’re opened. Actually, you don’t even notice them, at least we didn’t. It took a visit from our son to tell us the time had come. The kitchen was definitely dated!

In about eight weeks we’ll be the happy owners of a new kitchen including appliances, charging station (evidently a necessity as our lives revolve around our iPhones, iPads, and other electronic goodies), countertops, cabinets, and …

I have the feeling the domino effect will set in soon. I remember looking at the kitchen tile many years ago and thinking it needed to be re-grouted. What I had difficulty explaining to my husband was why the upstairs had to be re-carpeted. He really didn’t think that had much to do with the tile being re-grouted. The domino effect had come into play.

As I took a final look around the kitchen this morning, I began to wonder just how creative I was going to be with an electric fry pan, a barbecue, a toaster, a coffeepot, and a slow cooker. There will be no oven or microwave for the next eight weeks. And have you ever known a remodel to be finished in exactly the projected time frame? I haven’t. It’s a good thing we had the Family Reunion this summer because Thanksgiving will definitely be out and possibly Christmas. Everyone I’ve talked to who has gone through a remodel says it was one of the most stressful times in their lives. Swell. And why did we decide to do it? Well, if and when we sell our house, the first thing a realtor will tell us to do is upgrade the kitchen and they’d probably be right. When we made the decision to upgrade, it seemed logical to do it now and enjoy it while we’re living here. At the moment, I’m having serious doubts whether that was a wise decision. Then as soon as the upgrade is finished, time for a new puppy! You don’t think that will be stressful, do you? Stay tuned!!!!!

Earlier on Huff/Post50:


Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

10-Year-Old’s Marriage Advice Is So Spot On, You’ll Wish You Came Up With It

When it comes to marriage advice, it seems like everyone and their mom has something to offer up.

Well forget ’em!

We finally have all the marriage advice we’ll ever need, thanks to one very wise 10-year-old named Ethan who took it upon himself to write out (and laminate) key pieces of advice for his soon-to-be-wed teacher.

Marriage advice from a 5th grader

The note was posted to Reddit earlier this week, titled “My friend who is a teacher was married over the weekend to a cop. This is one of her students marriage advice.

All we know is penguins should definitely be on everyone’s registry from now on. Look how fun they are!

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Not Interfaith Marriage, Two-Faith Marriage

It might sound strange, but growing up in Israel makes one’s Judaism pretty obvious. You don’t need to practice Judaism to know that you are Jewish. You know that you are Jewish because you are not something else. The last three years have made me confront my Judaism like never before. Just to put things in context, I grew up in a secular family in Tel Aviv, I do not eat Kosher, do not keep the Sabbath, and the last time I was in synagogue was only because someone down the street asked me to complete the “Minyan,” the requirement of ten males for a prayer to begin. Three years ago, while volunteering in Haiti, I started dating an American girl named Sarah. As an Abraham, I saw this relationship as an obvious continuation of my heritage, fulfilling the promise of my name, except for the fact that Sarah is Lutheran. I was never “worried” that by dating a Christian I would convert, but the opposite happened, it made me confront my Judaism. All of a sudden I had to explain holidays and answer questions Sarah asked me about my beliefs, including rationalizing why I don’t follow some of the Jewish traditions. Religion was a big part of our relationship from day one.

When I moved to the States to be with Sarah, I also started building a new community for myself. Of course, as you might expect, I searched for my own. I went to the Hillel in my school, took a fellowship with a Jewish organization in New York, and celebrated Jewish holidays with my aunt who lives in Manhattan. My first year in New York was probably the period of my life that I was the most active with my Judaism, although more as a community and less as a religion. I heard for the first time the term “peoplehood.” Judaism is not only a religion or an ethnicity, it’s a peoplehood. I like that term. I might not be religiously Jewish, but I felt like part of the family, a part of the peoplehood.

Everything changed for me when Sarah and I started to plan our wedding.

Many American Jewish leaders fear that interfaith relationships will be the downfall of the Jewish community, an inevitable final step in complete integration to become American and not Jewish-American. According to a Pew Research Study from 2013, 58 percent of all marriages in the Jewish community from 2005 are “intermarriages” or “interfaith marriages.” Many in the Jewish community wonder why this phenomenon happens and how to change the trend, but from the perspective of a Jewish guy that fell in love with a Christian girl, my marriage is not the problem. The Jewish community is.

Sarah and I wanted to have a wedding that would reflect both of our traditions and religions. We planned for the wedding to be in Philadelphia and I thought that finding a rabbi to join a pastor in officiating would be an extremely easy task. There is a large Jewish community in the tri-state area, and armed with the term ‘peoplehood’ I assumed that different rabbis would respect my religious choices. That in America the peoplehood mattered, staying a part of the family. I was wrong. The quest to find the rabbi was the hardest part of planning the wedding.

2014-07-16-Twofaithmarriage.jpg

The irony was that every rabbi I spoke with (and there were a lot of them) started the conversation sounding genuinely happy for us and then started the list of demands. One would marry me to a Christian, but only if a pastor was not present. Another wouldn’t stand under the chuppa. One rabbi told me that Jesus could be mentioned, but only as a historical figure and not as a divinity. He went so far as to give me a list of words that could not be said in proximity to the name Jesus, and when the list hit the world “lamb,” I told him that I would have to verify our dinner menu with the caterer just in case. One rabbi seemed to be content to co-officiate; we even set a date for a meeting to start working on the ceremony itself, but then in one of our phone calls she told me that she wanted to be honest and to remind me that according to Jewish law I wouldn’t be “married for real.” She was willing to do the show for us, to pretend, and she thought we would be grateful. And that was the message that the Jewish community gave us. We don’t believe your marriage is legitimate, even if you find someone who will pretend it is. At this point, a few months into the search, how many couples out of the 58 percent that marry a non-Jewish partner choose to not have a rabbi in their ceremony at all?

Eventually we found a rabbi, and we were lucky. Our ceremony was beautiful, but it wasn’t an interfaith ceremony. The term interfaith marriage always reminds me of the term international water, neither here nor there. As if it is some spiritual limbo where no one is in charge. I am not in an interfaith marriage; I am in a two-faith marriage. A few weeks before the wedding, the pastor, who is a close friend of Sarah’s family, asked to show me the ceremony and said he could “de-Jesus” it a bit if I felt it was necessary. I was in awe. There is an Israeli pop song that was very popular a few years back that goes, “the one that believes isn’t afraid to lose his faith.” This was true about our pastor. I admired his level of belief, and I remembered the rabbi who told me that the word “lamb” couldn’t be in the ceremony. In contrast, the Pastor didn’t think that by not mentioning Jesus it took away from the union between Sarah, God, and myself, or from his own Christianity. Our ceremony was a two-faith ceremony. We are married in the Christian tradition, and we are married by the Jewish tradition. Not somewhere in the middle.

I’m not sure what the next step is for me and the American Jewish community. If I find a synagogue where my Christian wife and I can go and sit together with respect for both religions, who knows, maybe I will start going. But from my experience over the past year, despite the Jewish community’s use of the term “peoplehood,” it still has a long way to go to understand that there are many kinds of Jews in that peoplehood, and some of them have a thing for shiksas.
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Tony Dungy on Uncommon Marriage and Life After Coaching

On February 4, 2007, long-time NFL head coach (and current NBC Sunday Night Football analyst) Tony Dungy etched his name into the history books by becoming the first African American head coach to win a Super Bowl; his Indianapolis Colts overcoming the Chicago Bears 29-17. It was a triumph that was revered — and will continue to be revered — by many.

2014-06-04-Dungy_Tony_03.jpg

As Dungy clutched the championship trophy in the post-game celebration and highlighted his faith in a humble interview with legendary broadcaster Jim Nantz, the world watched as a man realized a dream that so few will ever be able to accomplish.

But there’s much more to the narrative on Tony Dungy than that Super Bowl victory. For one layer, I would like to take you back to June 19, 1982.

This was the day that Tony married his wife, Lauren. It was the beginning of a union that would stand the test of time. If you look back at the video of Tony’s Super Bowl speech, you’ll see that Lauren was standing right there, right by his side. That visual representation was a reminder that, even as we marvel at the prowess of today’s athletes and laud the intellect of championship coaches — family comes first.

Indeed there is a story here, a marvelous one that continues to this day, as Tony and Lauren prepare to celebrate their 32nd anniversary. It is a story that they have encapsulated in their recently released book, Uncommon Marriage: Learning about Lasting Love and Overcoming Life’s Obstacles Together.

2014-06-04-dungycovernew.jpg

Chronicling Tony and Lauren’s journey from courtship to present day, Uncommon Marriage is a book that anyone who is even considering marriage would appreciate. The Dungy’s share their experience — the thrills of life, and the disappointments as well — in a heart-felt (and sometimes playful) “he-said/she-said” pattern that is as relatable as it is inspirational.

I had a chance to catch up with Tony Dungy to get some insight on the motivation behind Uncommon Marriage, the keys to the endurance of his own marriage, and how life has been after coaching in the NFL.

Marcus: What inspired you and your wife Lauren to write Uncommon Marriage?
Dungy: Lauren and I had done several children’s books together. Tyndale Publishers approached us about doing a marriage book. At first, we were very hesitant, not thinking we would have much to share. But we were involved in a couple’s Bible study and we had a lot of conversation about marriage in that study. In the past, it always seemed we were one of the younger couples, asking for advice in our Bible studies. But suddenly, we looked around and we were one of the older couples. So we felt we might have some things to share from our experiences, from lessons we’d learned from other couples, and especially from what we had read in the Bible. We also felt that society was not holding marriage in the high esteem that it needed to be held, so we wanted to address that as well.

Marcus: What message do you hope readers — newlyweds, long-timers, even singles — get from Uncommon Marriage?

Dungy: We hope there is something in it for everyone, even singles looking to get married. The basic message that we talk about is focusing on the three C’s — Christ, commitment, and communication. We believe that to enjoy a rich and satisfying marriage you really need Christ in the center of your marriage. That way, when you find yourself taking divergent paths, you can always look to Christ and let Him bring things back into focus. We also want couples to see that God’s design for marriage is permanent. Couples must have a commitment to stay together no matter what. And the third major point is one of communication. Talking, listening, and understanding each other is crucial for a marriage.

Marcus: You have been together with your wife for more than three decades. What are some of the keys to the endurance of your marriage?

2014-06-04-DungyTonyandLauren02cropped.jpg

Dungy: Marriage is like a football game. There is a huge adrenaline rush at the opening kickoff, but that rush eventually wears off and you have to settle in to play the full four quarters. You are going to have to stick to your game plan, rely on your fundamentals, and be ready for some ups and downs to succeed over the long haul. In marriage, that means continuing to look out for the best interests of the other person, keeping the lines of communication open and not letting external elements and pressures distract you from your commitment to each other. And those external elements don’t have to be bad things. They can be positive things like children, or job promotions. We just have to be careful that nothing comes between our relationship with our spouse because that is the most important personal relationship that God has ordained. And when circumstances arise that put pressure on the marriage relationship, we have to remember to turn to God in those times and not run away from Him. Probably the best advice we could give, though, is to remember that your relationship can’t be based on your feelings. Love is not a feeling, it’s a commitment to the other person. There will be times you don’t feel like loving your spouse, but those are the times you have to let Christ help you honor that commitment.

Marcus: Were there things you learned from marriage that influenced your coaching on the football field, and vice versa?
Dungy: The job of a coaching staff is to help your team play its best. You have to put aside your individual goals and objectives to make that happen. In a marriage, both individuals have to do the same thing — put aside their individual desires and concentrate on making the marriage and the family the best they can be. Goal setting, teamwork, and sacrifice become the major themes, so in many ways I did take things from my coaching to our marriage. The one thing I knew as a head coach was that I couldn’t do it all myself. My assistant coaches had so much to offer and I had to empower them to utilize their talents. Married couples need to do the same thing and utilize the strengths of each spouse.

From my family, I learned that each child was a little different in their emotional makeup. I couldn’t treat them exactly the same, and that helped me as a coach. Realizing that people all respond differently to instruction, correction, encouragement and criticism was so helpful to me. As a coach, I never subscribed to the “my way or the highway” thinking. Because of my experiences with our children, I tried to find different ways to communicate with, and get the most out of, my players.

Marcus: You have made a tremendous transition from coaching. What do you feel has been your greatest accomplishment (or accomplishments) since retiring from the field?
Dungy: Since retiring from coaching I’ve had time to do many of the things I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve gotten to spend a lot more time with my wife and my family. Helping Lauren more in raising the younger children has probably been the most meaningful thing I’ve been able to do. I’ve also been able to get more involved in church and take a bigger role there. I love my job with NBC Sunday Night Football, and being a part of the number 1 rated show on prime-time TV has been a thrill. It has also allowed me to highlight some of the great off-the-field projects of our NFL players. As part of our Dungy Family Foundation, Lauren and I, along with our relatives, have been able to support some very worthwhile causes. We’ve been able to help out with some children’s programs, women’s shelters and academic support for students. Lauren and I read and promote literacy during the school year in Tampa elementary schools, and that has been rewarding and fun.

Marcus: What advice would you give to someone that wants to have the type of positive influence you have been able to have?

Dungy: The best work-related advice I ever received was from Chuck Noll, my first boss with the Pittsburgh Steelers. He told me to never make a career decision based on salary or job title. Instead, look at who you’re going to work for and work with, what you can learn from them, and how you can grow in the job. That advice served me well over the years and I would add one thing to that. I always tell people to look for significance over success. There are many things in life you can do to make money, and earning a living is important. But I would recommend looking at how you can help people as well as make money. You will definitely feel more energized and more fulfilled doing something you feel is benefiting others.

Marcus: What’s next for you?

Dungy: I don’t have anything concrete planned for the future. Lauren and I have been asked about doing another book but we don’t have one in the works yet. I’m leading a couple of Bible studies during the week and I’d like to get more involved with discipling young men, especially. However, I don’t see a return to full time coaching on the horizon. We still have six children at home so we have more than enough to keep us busy.

***
Photos provided by Tyndale House Publishers. Used with Permission.
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Brilliant Gym Ad Says What We’re All Thinking About Kimye’s Marriage

New York Sports Club released an ad Wednesday that even Don Draper would be proud of.

Following Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s over-the-top Italian wedding, the NYC-based gym took out a full page ad in the New York Post that poked fun at Kardashian’s relationship history as a ploy to get people to work out.

It’s no surprise that the ad blew up on the Internet and was picked up and posted by every media outlet known to man. Bravo NYSC.

But just in case you need a follow-up ad for your campaign, we came up with one for you:

Kanye, stay in shape. You’ve got to last at least 41 minutes.

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
Entertainment News-Visit Adults Playland today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Wounds of Love: The Mystical Marriage of Saint Rose of Lima

Wounds of Love: The Mystical Marriage of Saint Rose of Lima


The Peruvian mystic St. Rose of Lima (Isabel Flores y Oliva, 1586-1617) was canonized in 1671 as the first saint of the New World and remains the object of widespread devotion today. In this engrossing new study, Frank Graziano uses the example of St. Rose to explore the meaning of female
mysticism and the way in which saints are products of their cultures.
Virginity, austerity, eucharistic devotion, incessant mortification, and mystical marriage to Christ characterized the devotional regimen that structured St. Rose''s entire life. Many of her mystical practices echo the symptoms of such modern psychological disorders as masochism, depression,
hysteria, and anorexia nervosa. Graziano offers a sophisticated argument not only for the origins and meaning of these behaviors in Rose''s case, but also for the reason her culture venerated them as signs of sanctity. In the process he explores a wide range of themes, from the idea of suffering as
an expression of love to the assimilation of childhood trauma through religious repetition.
Graziano also offers a penetrating analysis of the politics of Rose''s canonization. He finds that her mystical union with God–bypassing the institutional channels of sacrament and priestly mediation–was inherently subversive to the bureaucratized Church. Canonization was a cooptation by which
Rose''s competing claim to Christ was integrated into the Catholic canon.
The book concludes with a fascinating exploration of mystical eroticism, with its intense experiences of vision and ecstasy. The eroticized suffering of many mystics is shown to be very human in origin: the mystic''s wounded love is projected onto a God conceived to accommodate it.
Wounds of Love is based on a decade of research in archives, rare books, and an extraordinary range of secondary sources. Introducing an innovative method that integrates history, cultural studies, psychoanalysis, and clinical psychology, this compelling work offers a bold new interpretation of
female mysticism.
List Price:
Price:

The Gay Man Who Sought a Straight Woman for Marriage

I often get asked where the inspiration for my latest book, Legally Wed, came from. It’s a romantic comedy about a gay man’s journey to finding real love. My first response is that as a resident of the state of Washington, and as a gay man who married his husband on the first day that same-sex was legal here, it was that historic event that inspired me.

But the truth — and this didn’t even come to me until after I’d finished the book — is that it mirrors my own life. The whole time I was writing, I thought I was creating a lighthearted tale about a gay man who, disappointed in love and hungering for the commitment he sees in his own family, gets drunk one night and places an ad on Craigslist: “Gay Man Seeks Straight Woman for Marriage.” It took me a while to realize that my inspiration was really my own personal journey. See, I was that man.

Unlike my main character in Legally Wed, though, I did not come up with the idea one drunken night. For a young man growing up in the 1970s, the road to fulfillment was through marriage to a woman. Thirty-some years ago, when I married the female love of my life (let’s call her “Alison”), there was no other road open.

So I met Alison and fell in love. Unlike my main character in Legally Wed, I was not drunk when I proposed. No, I was filled with hope and with the dreamer’s belief that if someone really wanted something bad enough, he could have it.

But like Duncan in Legally Wed, I discovered that a gay/straight marriage was destined for disaster. It took seven years, the birth of our son, and the intervention of a very compassionate therapist to help me see that I was not some damaged thing, needing to hide my true self away. Like Duncan in my book, I realized that I could love women, maybe even prefer them, but ultimately needed to be who I am.

It was hard to say goodbye to Alison, to no longer live under the same roof with our then-6-year-old son Nicholas. There were tears, recriminations, court battles, bitterness, and pain, but all three of us came out the other side still loving one another.

My Duncan and his intended, Marilyn, go through the same struggle, in a more compressed time frame, and came out understanding that even though they weren’t meant to be married, they were meant to be great friends. Their friendship and love is a bedrock message of my book. And, to this day, my love for Alison, even though we’re separated by many miles, continues to be a bedrock for me.

In Legally Wed, Duncan finds his true love when he’s essentially stopped looking. The same was true for me. I thought that after I divorced, I would find a parallel relationship with a special guy. Let’s just say I tried on many, many pairs of shoes, but none fit.

Like Duncan, I gave up. And two months after giving up and deciding that I would be just fine living alone, I met him. That was almost 12 years ago now, and he completely spoiled my plans. And I couldn’t be happier. Bruce is the man I stood in line with at City Hall on the morning of Dec. 6, 2012, to be one of the first couples in Washington to obtain our marriage license. We had a small wedding three days later. Even though Bruce and I had been together for more than a decade, we both realized, when we woke the next day as a married couple, that we felt different. More committed. More like a family.

I mentioned earlier that Alison and I have a son, Nicholas. The irony is that he too turned out to be gay. When Nicholas met the love of his life and told me they were going to marry, I was ecstatic. By then, he had moved to Montreal, where marriage was already legal for all adult couples in love, and they would be able to make it official.

Would I officiate? One of my many happy endings that I am thankful for is that I got to preside over the wedding of my son and his husband. Bruce was among the happy assembled that day in August when Nicholas and Tarik said their vows. Our own marriage was still a few years off, still something hoped for, but not something we were at all certain we would ever have, which made the day bittersweet.

Alison was also there. We celebrated together and couldn’t have been happier for our son. That day my mind strayed to two other weddings, one in my past and another — hoped for — in my future. The thought came to me then that these marriages shared one thing: They were about love.

I realized that it’s not about what’s between our legs but about what’s between our ears… and in our hearts.

Love is love.

Why on Earth, or in God’s name, would anyone want to deny that to his or her fellow man or woman? We can only be strengthened, as families, as a society, by encouraging and celebrating love and commitment.
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Wounds of Love: The Mystical Marriage of Saint Rose of Lima

Wounds of Love: The Mystical Marriage of Saint Rose of Lima


The Peruvian mystic St. Rose of Lima (Isabel Flores y Oliva, 1586-1617) was canonized in 1671 as the first saint of the New World and remains the object of widespread devotion today. In this engrossing new study, Frank Graziano uses the example of St. Rose to explore the meaning of female mysticism and the way in which saints are products of their cultures. Virginity, austerity, eucharistic devotion, incessant mortification, and mystical marriage to Christ characterized the devotional regimen that structured St. Rose’s entire life. Many of her mystical practices echo the symptoms of such modern psychological disorders as masochism, depression, hysteria, and anorexia nervosa. Graziano offers a sophisticated argument not only for the origins and meaning of these behaviors in Rose’s case, but also for the reason her culture venerated them as signs of sanctity. In the process he explores a wide range of themes, from the idea of suffering as an expression of love to the assimilation of childhood trauma through religious repetition. Graziano also offers a penetrating analysis of the politics of Rose’s canonization. He finds that her mystical union with God–bypassing the institutional channels of sacrament and priestly mediation–was inherently subversive to the bureaucratized Church. Canonization was a cooptation by which Rose’s competing claim to Christ was integrated into the Catholic canon. The book concludes with a fascinating exploration of mystical eroticism, with its intense experiences of vision and ecstasy. The eroticized suffering of many mystics is shown to be very human in origin: the mystic’s wounded love is projected onto a God conceived to accommodate it. Wounds of Love is based on a decade of research in archives, rare books, and an extraordinary range of secondary sources. Introducing an innovative method that integrates history, cultural studies, psychoanalysis, and clinical psychology, this compelling work offers a bold new interpretation of female mysticism.
List Price:
Price:

Virginia AG Mark Herring To Fight Same-Sex Marriage Ban, Reports Suggest

Virginia’s new attorney general Mark Herring is making a major reversal on his state’s same-sex marriage stance, according to The Washington Post and NPR.

Herring will announce on Thursday that he finds Virginia’s same-sex marriage ban to be unconstitutional, The Washington Post reported.

The move would be going against the position of Herring’s predecessor Ken Cuccinelli (R), who once stated, “I cannot support something that I believe brings nothing but self-destruction, not only physically but of their soul.”

As the Post points out, Herring, a Democrat, will also be reversing his own stance from eight years ago, when he voted against same-sex marriage.

“As attorney general, I cannot and will not defend laws that violate Virginians’ rights,” Herring told “Morning Edition.”

After a review of a case challenging the state’s same-sex marriage ban, Herring concluded, “The commonwealth will be siding with the plaintiffs in this case and with every other Virginia couple whose right to marry is being denied.”
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

‘The Case Against 8,’ Which Debuted As Sundance, Recalls California’s Gay Marriage Battle

Two gay couples who waged a five-year court battle to restore same-sex marriage in California are back in the spotlight, in a new film premiered at the Sundance Film Festival.

Paul Katami and Jeff Zarrillo, and lesbian couple Kris Perry and Sandy Stier, finally achieved their goal last June. But “The Case against 8” recounts the long and often dispiriting judicial battle they fought to get there.

The documentary, by filmmakers Ben Cotner and Ryan White, is in official competition at the independent film festival, which wraps up next weekend in the Utah ski resort of Park City.

The story begins on November 4, 2008 — the day Barack Obama became the first ever African American US president, but also the day Californians voted in a referendum on so-called Proposition 8 to outlaw same sex marriages.

The “Prop 8” decision came only a few months after the western US state’s top court had legalized gay marriage, and some 18,000 same-sex couples had already tied the knot before the referendum blow.

Gay rights campaigners acted immediately, creating the American Foundation for Equal Rights (AFER) to take the case to court, where they filed a first lawsuit in May 2009.

“We heard about the case very early on, before it was filed and we asked them about the possibility of making a documentary about it, without knowing that someday it would become a bigger case,” Cotner told AFP.

“At the time, we had no idea that it would go all the way to the Supreme Court,” he added.

As well as the roller-coaster legal fight — from the plaintiffs’ first court victory in San Francisco to the US Supreme Court in Washington — the film also focuses on the two couples at the heart of it.

The four became the face of gay marriage in California, putting huge pressures on them.

“I’ve never been so nervous in my life. Even though we’re ready, there is the weight of ‘I can’t mess this up. I have to represent so many people,'” Katami says in the film.

The two couples “never knew that the case would become so big and they didn’t know that they would become the cement of the story,” co-director White told AFP.

“But on top of that, the idea of having a documentary crew following them probably was not the thing that they wanted most at the beginning,” he added.

A third duo also plays a central role in the film: lawyers Ted Olson and David Boies, nicknamed “The Odd Couple” by the media.

The pair, who had been on opposing sides in the infamous legal battle which resulted in George W. Bush’s 2000 election win over Al Gore, united “to fight for LGBT rights together,” White said.

“That was the heart of the case and probably the heart of the film too,” he added.

Olson, a fervent Republican, drew harsh criticism for supporting gay marriage, even though, as he says in the documentary, “marriage is a conservative value.”

“It’s two people who love one another and want to live together in a stable relationship, to become part of a family and part of a neighborhood and part of our economy,” he said.

The filmmakers said they were careful not to get carried away by the strong emotions on both sides, over the five years.

But their objectivity was seriously challenged when the US Supreme Court restored the right of gays to marry in California, on June 26 last year.

“Two days later, we were at the weddings and that day was the hardest day to film because it was so hard for me to concentrate on the film,” said Cotner.

“I just wanted to be a part of the wedding with them. “I didn’t want to be a filmmaker at that moment. I wished I was just a participant at the wedding,” he said.


Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

British Floods Blamed On Gay Marriage Law By UKIP Councillor David Silvester

A local councillor for the anti-immigration UK Independence Party (UKIP) has blamed recent storms and floods across Britain on the government’s decision to legalise gay marriage, it emerged on Saturday.

David Silvester, who defected from Prime Minister David Cameron’s Conservative party in protest at the move to allow same-sex couples to marry, made the claim in a letter to his local newspaper.

“I wrote to David Cameron in April 2012 to warn him that disasters would accompany the passage of his same-sex marriage bill,” wrote Silvester, an elected member of the town council in Henley-on-Thames, west of London.

He added: “It is his (Cameron’s) fault that large swathes of the nation have been afflicted by storms and floods.

“He has arrogantly acted against the Gospel that once made Britain ‘great’ and the lesson surely to be learned is that no man or men, however powerful, can mess with Almighty God with impunity and get away with it, for everything a nation does is weighed on the scale of divine approval or disapproval.”

The Conservative member of parliament for Henley, John Howell, said the comments were “not the sort of thing that he should have written in today’s age” and said Silvester needed to “consider his position”.

A UKIP spokeswoman said Silvester’s views were “not the party’s belief” but said he was entitled to state his opinions.

Cameron pushed through the gay marriage law last year against fierce opposition within his Conservative party, and the first weddings are expected to take place in March.

In a concession to opposition from the established Churches of England and Wales, however, those institutions are banned from conducting ceremonies.

UKIP prides itself on not bowing to what it terms “political correctness” on social issues and is steadily building support with its anti-immigration and anti-EU message.

It has no MPs but is the third largest party in the opinion polls, with about 12 percent of support, and is expected to do well in May’s European Parliament elections.


Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

The Key To A Successful Marriage Is Make-Up Sex, Experts Say

“Kiss and make-up” are four words that may be the key to marital happiness, or so say two relationship experts who believe make-up sex is vital to helping couples work out their problems.

In a recent HuffPost Live segment, Trisha and Justin Davis, the authors of “Beyond Ordinary: When A Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough,” told host Mike Sacks that a romp between the sheets can help spouses move beyond marital spats.

“The term make-up sex, people think it’s just a term. Make-up sex is an actual physiological thing,” Trisha said. “When you feel known, where you feel like you’re on the same page, it makes that moment when you’re together all the more special.”

Her husband agreed, adding, “You’re never gonna agree with someone one-hundred percent of the time, but you can be for that person one-hundred percent of the time.”

Watch the clip for even more advice on keeping a marriage strong and check out the entire segment here.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Weeklings!: Let’s Harass the Remaining 35 States Into Gay Marriage (VIDEO)

Congrats to my home state of Illinois for becoming the 15th state to legalize gay marriage! Thanks to your kickass House and Senate, you’ve narrowly dodged this list.

Today we’re harassing the 35 states without official gay marriage legalization into changing their tune. From Virginia to Hawaii, Oregon to Michigan, we’re snarling at them all. Come on, states. Let’s finish this up.

WATCH:

You can find previous Weeklings! episodes here.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Young Singles, Seth Adam Smith’s Marriage Advice Isn’t for You

Dear nieces and nephews (biological and metaphorical),

There’s a marriage advice post spreading across the Internet like low-fat mayo over Wonder Bread. It’s called “Marriage Isn’t for You,” and it’s full of sweet-sounding ideas handed out by Seth Adam Smith, a guy who resembles the male half of the the straight couple that tops every wedding cake. In addition to being handsome, Smith has an inspiring and sad story, so we find ourselves nodding and sharing before we realize what he’s really saying.

You’ll probably run across his post at some point, and it will probably make an impression, since you are “at that age” and some of you are dating, but I want you to take a closer look and really give some thought to the ideas he feels entitled to share as gospel after a year and a half of marriage.

Marry your best friend: Good advice if you can swing it, and advice that I’d love to see you follow. Of course, my best friend and I are both male. In fact, many people find that their best friend shares their gender. Alas, in 36 states marriage is indeed not for us, often thanks to the intervention of Smith’s church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But that probably doesn’t bother Smith, since he thinks that…

Marriage is for your future children: Your great-uncles are too old to have kids, but some of them have recently married. You have cousins who can’t have children, but they got married. One day my partner and I will get married. Do our marriages still count if they’re not about children? They certainly do. You can have a wonderful marriage without having babies. So if you do decide to have children, let it be your choice. Don’t let family or friends or anyone tell you that your marriage is less than theirs if it doesn’t produce babies.

Marriage is for the other person’s happiness: If you love someone, you want them to be happy. And it’s very nice to think that you can make another person happy, but it’s also very arrogant. What really makes a person happy? Lots of things: family, friends, hobbies, work, and more. It will be your job to add to their lives and help them be even happier. The way to do that is to be happy yourself, with hobbies, friends, and work of your own. And when those things aren’t going so well in your lives, you can each help the other through the bad times. Together, two happy people can create an even happier couple, but if you make someone else’s happiness your mission in life, you give them the power to make your life a failure. Which brings me to the last point he makes:

A woman’s selfless love cures everything (but a man’s love can come and go): Smith went through a time when he was being very selfish, and his wife forgave him. That’s great for him, but I want you, especially my nieces, to know that you are under no obligation to be the saint in your relationship. If a relationship depends completely on one partner doing all of the forgiving, all of the loving, all of the sacrificing, then it is not a fair relationship, and you deserve a fair relationship. Don’t let anyone tell you that real men misbehave and real women forgive. Find someone who is prepared to be just as loving and devoted as you are.

See, “marriage is for others” is exactly what women have been told for centuries, and it’s done a lot of harm. “Marriage is for the family” kept women ashamed of their marriage problems and too scared to divorce their husbands. “Marriage is for children” has kept multitudes of women locked in abusive marriages “until the kids are grown.”

Cody and I have been together for almost 20 years now, without state sanction, families pushing us together, or children at our feet. Maybe we’ve managed this long because we didn’t have the “benefit” of very much family advice, so we remain reluctant to give much advice ourselves.

But you know what? Since we were never allowed to be the idealized couple atop the wedding cake, we’ve had to find our own way, and we’ve learned an awful lot. We have advice for what to do when marriage isn’t an option, when kids aren’t in the future, when bromides about selflessness give way to realities about careers, priorities, health, and aging. I may not always put that advice on the Internet, but it will always be here for you. And even if we’re not the first people you think of, I hope you come to us before you put much stock in some of the popular advice floating around out there.

Love,
Uncle Wayne
Weddings – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS-Visit Shoe Deals Online-Fashion News today for the hottest deals online!

Speak Up With Jimmy: Project Runway’s Bradon McDonald on Getting Married and Marriage Equality (VIDEO)

In this episode of Speak Up With Jimmy, I speak with Project Runway finalist Bradon McDonald about getting married. After winning a challenge with guest judge Jesse Tyler Ferguson (who launched the Tie the Knot organization to support marriage equality), Bradon was inspired to propose on the show to his longtime boyfriend Josh. Bradon talks about plans for the wedding, changing people’s minds about same-sex marriage, and the power of expressing love.

WATCH:

Speak Up With Jimmy, a Web series, is available at JimmyWin.com.
Style – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS UPDATE-Visit Shoe Deals Online today for the hottest deals online for shoes!