Selena Gomez would ‘love’ to be in a relationship

OHMYGOSSIP — Selena Gomez “would love” to be in a relationship – but not before she’s finished “focusing” on herself.
The 26-year-old star broke up with her former boyfriend Justin Bieber – who is now engaged to Hailey Baldwin – earlier this year, and sources have said that whilst she “loves love” and would like to find someone to settle down with, she’s determined to work on herself and be “the best version of herself” before she starts dating again.
An insider said: “She’s not interested in dating anyone, she still doesn’t feel ready. She’s been in a relationship for so much of her life, she really is happy embracing the single life and focusing 100% on herself.
“Selena loves love. As much as she loves being single, she would love to be in a relationship in the future. In fact, she knows that for a future relationship to be successful, she has to make sure she’s the best version of herself first. She looks at relationships differently now – she isn’t looking for someone to ‘complete’ her.”
And when the ‘Bad Liar’ hitmaker does decide she’s ready for romance, her close pals already have a plan in place to set her up with someone who isn’t a celebrity.
The source added: “She’s just incredibly focused on her career and well-being right now, but when the time is right, and for the right guy, she’s totally open to trusting her friends with setting her up. Her friends want to see her with someone who is not in the industry. She needs someone who’s talented and successful, but not a celebrity.
“Selena is such a catch, and her friends want her to be with someone who’s worthy of her. They really didn’t like Justin and her together. He didn’t appreciate what he had in her.”
Despite now being on a quest for love, Selena is totally over her former beau, and wishes him the best in his pending marriage to 21-year-old Hailey.
The source told ‘Entertainment Tonight’: “She wants nothing but happiness for them.”

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘abusive relationship’ with Harvey Weinstein

OHMYGOSSIP — Gwyneth Paltrow claims she had a “classic abusive relationship” with disgraced producer Harvey Weinstein.
The 45-year-old actress previously claimed she had been sexually harassed by the movie mogul – who has been accused of sexual misconduct by dozens of women – but now says his alleged “proposition” was “the least of it” in terms of their working relationship.
Speaking to New York Times magazine, she said: “The one time that Harvey propositioned me was really almost the least of it in terms of how onerous that relationship was, and it was very quid pro quo and punitive, and I always felt like I was on thin ice, and he could be truly horrible and mean and then be incredibly generous. It was kind of like a classic abusive relationship.”
In a report by the same publication in October last year, the ‘Iron Man’ actress claimed Weinstein had sexually harassed her in a hotel room after the movie mogul hired her for the lead role in ‘Emma’ when she was 22.
The Goop founder – who is engaged to producer Brad Falchuk and has children Apple, 14, and Moses, 12, with ex-husband Chris Martin – previously detailed how Weinstein warned her not to tell anyone what had happened between them.
She said: “I thought he was going to fire me. It was brutal … I was expected to keep the secret.”
Meanwhile, Gwyneth recently said the “veil of shame” in Hollywood has been lifted thanks to the people who have spoken out against executives such as Weinstein.
She said: “There’s a veil of shame that’s been lifted off this whole thing. There’s this amazing feeling of knit-togetherness in the female community. Many women don’t have anything to leverage to protect themselves. That’s why it felt so urgent and upsetting and I felt naïve for not having gone through the mental exercise of postulating what the version was for a single woman trying to make ends meet.”

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10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

You and your partner have a fight. You find yourself not needing to be with them 24-7… these traits may sound like the onset of a failing relationship, but they’re actually signs you’re in a healthy relationship. Here are 10 other signs that your relationship is a lot healthier than you think. 

1. You actually listen to each other, even if you disagree

Listening and being heard is a much more useful relationship skill than simply never arguing, Cyndi Darnell, a sex and relationship therapist, tells SheKnows. “You cannot be in agreement with your partner on everything 100 percent of the time. Fifty percent of successful communication is listening. If everyone is speaking and no one is listening, things go downhill — fast!”

2. You’ve never threatened to leave or dump each other

When you start threatening your partner that you might leave them or break up with them, even if you don’t, it starts to deteriorate the relationship, sex and relationship educator Bethany Ricciardi tells SheKnows. “Every healthy relationship has a strong foundation, and with that, you do not threaten abandonment. Even if it’s an empty threat, words are very powerful, and if you want a healthy relationship, you should only plant seeds of positivity.”

3. You make sacrifices for each other & don’t count the favors

When you start keeping track of what you did for them and what they did for you, it never ends well. “Being someone’s partner means laughing for them when they aren’t able and picking them up when they can’t stand on their own. You start to perform selfless acts in a healthy relationship because caring for your partner has become a priority,” says Ricciardi. 

4. You are OK with your partner spending time away from you

“You recognize your partner is a complete person and always was, long before you came into their life. You are a complement to their life and they to yours, but you are not each other’s vital organs,” says Darnell. A little bit of fresh air in a relationship goes a long way.

5. You can tolerate conflict 

“It’s not about ‘never fighting’ but about using common conflicts to learn about each other, compromise and become closer,” Sara Stanizai, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the owner of Prospect Therapy, tells SheKnows. “Think about it: You learn more about your partner on your bad days than you do on your best behavior. A couple who never disagrees is likely to not be as closely bonded. Not being afraid to have healthy conflict is a sign of a close relationship.”

6. Neither of you gets caught paying attention to other attractive people

This speaks to a healthy sex life together. “It can show how satisfied you both are with one another and the sexy tension is always fresh between the two of you. Other people don’t even catch your eye because all your thinking about is how sexy your partner is going to look later in bed,” says Ricciardi.

7. You both talk positively about being in a relationship

If you catch yourself loving the relationship lifestyle and the partner you’re enjoying it with, chances are you’re in a healthy relationship,” says Ricciardi. When you find yourself and your partner talking to friends in a positive light about the relationship, it’s something to remember because it’s a good sign you have a healthy partnership.

8. You don’t need to know all of each other’s secrets

“Of course, any information that is relevant and affects your partner directly ideally should be disclosed, but certain things that are personal may remain that way unless you want to disclose,” says Darnell.

9. You can show your less-than-perfect side

People who can be themselves around their partners, flaws and all, are in a healthier relationship. “Instead of trying to curate a ‘perfect’ image of themselves, which is not sustainable, they gradually let their true colors show. We’re talking about things generally considered embarrassing, unflattering or not ideal. If you can share that side with your partner occasionally, it means you are in a comfortable, real relationship,” says Stanizai.

10. You can rely on your partner but you don’t need them

It’s great to be independent, and it’s also great to have partner who has your back. “If you are able to let them in, maybe to help with a problem outside the relationship, for example, it shows that you can trust them. Similarly, if you are able to make personal decisions without them or you don’t feel like you need to ‘run things by them,’ it shows you are an independent person rather than a possibly codependent person,” says Stanizai. 

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‘Catfish’ Recap: Breana Finds Out Her 11-Year Relationship Is a Lie

Breana Catfish
Breana on ‘Catfish.’ MTV

“I thought about ending my life, but he was just always there for me.” The heartbreaking and raw admission from Breana, 26, made hosts Nev Schulman and Max Joseph determined to get to the bottom of her suspicious online relationship on the Wednesday, July 25, episode of Catfish.

The drama kicked off with Breana video chatting and begging for the hosts’ help to track down the truth about her online boyfriend of 11 years, Joshua. Breana explained that she was “teased growing up” because of her “darker complexion” and after suffering from suicidal thoughts, her relationship with Joshua – who called her “wifey” and promised of starting a family together – helped build her up. Moved by her story, Nev and Max began their research.

Max Nev Catfish
Max and Nev on ‘Catfish.’

After discovering that Joshua’s Facebook profile was indeed authentic, Nev and Max were shocked to discover that he was talking to several other women online. Additionally, Nev and Max spoke with a woman, Ashley, who admitted that Joshua had also called her “wifey” and even stayed at her apartment as recently as a few days ago. When Nev and Max revealed to Breana that Josh had been talking to several other women behind her back, Breana broke down in tears, clearly devastated.

After meeting up with Joshua’s sister, Nev, Max and Breana were sent on a wild goose chase, stopping in Victorville, California and later Las Vegas, struggling to locate Joshua. Finally, he appeared at the edge of a dead-end suburban road. He then explained to Breana that he “wasn’t avoiding meeting her,” and blamed his lack of video calls on technology saying, “Granny’s computer was garbage.” Joshua then went into a heartbreaking story about his financial struggles.

“All I’ve ever heard when I was little was, ‘Whatever you do, be financially stable,’ but I just don’t have anything,” he told her before confessing that he had struggled with being homeless and that he’s been in and out of transitional homes. He added that he felt depressed after losing his job and talked to other women to find “people who would make him feel good.”

Max later called Joshua out on his womanizing behavior. “Your words have power over girls and you’re misusing that power,” he said. Joshua agreed. Breana ultimately ended their relationship. Two months later she was happy and single and “seeing a positive outlook on life.”

Catfish airs on MTV Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET.

For more TV news and exclusives interviews, listen to our “Watch With Us” podcast.

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Trump, May Tout Special Relationship Amid Tension

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Tessa Thompson hints at relationship with Janelle Monae: ‘We love each other deeply’

Tessa Thompson is sharing her love for rumored girlfriend Janelle Monae.

The actress revealed she’s attracted to both men and women and hinted at a relationship with Monae during a new interview with Net-A-Porter.

“We love each other deeply,” Thompson said of Monae. “We’re so close, we vibrate…

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Jersey Shore’s Ronnie Cries Over Relationship With Jen, Claims She Cheated

While Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino couldn’t wait to pop the question when his girlfriend Lauren Pesce visited the Jersey Shore: Family Vacation house, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro was having a more difficult time.

During the Thursday, June 4, episode, Ronnie revealed to his roommates that he was feeling really down about his relationship with Jen Harley, who at the time, was seven months pregnant. After Vinny Guadagnino’s mother surprised the house with a visit and talked to Ronnie about the relationship, it just sank in more that he wasn’t completely happy.

“I want to be with her, I love her, I just don’t know where her heart is,” Ronnie said. “Truthfully, I just don’t trust her.” When Jenni “JWoww” Farley, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Deena Cortese asked if that lack of trust was because she had cheated in the past, he said “Yes.”

“Nobody’s perfect. I did my dirt too so I can just say, like, ‘It was her.’ But everything I did was a reaction to her actions,” he said. “I’m also not used to being with someone like myself. Like, I met my match.”

At the end of the episode, after seeing how in love Mike and Lauren were, Ronnie broke down crying in the confessional.

“After talking to Vinny’s mom and seeing the happiness that Mike has, I’m realizing I have to reevaluate my life, myself and my relationship,” he said. “I want a family, I want to be happy, I want to be in Mike’s shoes. I want to propose. I want to have the feeling of more than just, ‘We’re together and we have a kid.’ I want more than that. Everyone else goes and lives their lives, and they’re f—king happy and I don’t have all the s—t they have. It’s just me. Who the f—k is the right person at this point?”

He continued, through tears: “I was with a girl for eight years, and that s—t didn’t work out. Now I got a girl pregnant after a year and it’s probably not gonna work out. What is it? Please tell me, because I have no idea. I’m doing my best to try to make it work and it’s not. I feel like, here I am: the same crying ass bitch Ronnie. The same f—king place, in the same f—king house. It’s just hard.”

Jersey Shore: Family Vacation airs on MTV Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET.

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7 Signs Of Domestic Violence You Need To Look Out For In Your Relationship

Domestic Violence Victim at Safe House in New York

Source: Viviane Moos / Getty

In a heart wrenching interview with TV One’s ‘Sister Circle,’ Andrea Kelly, singer R. Kelly’s ex-wife, reveals the moment she discovered she was a victim of domestic violence in her relationship.

Kelly revealed her revelation came in a moment of deep pain, when God told her to type ‘domestic violence’ into her computer.

“I’m not that girl,” she said tearfully, typing in the words in disbelief. “I’m not the teeth missing. I’m not the broken bones girl.” But Kelly kept scrolling and stumbled upon a 17 item questionnaire that helped her understand the extend of the abuse.

“They ask has your abuser ever done…and of the 17, Robert had done 15 to me.”

Although the realization was shocking, being able to label the behavior as domestic violence was the key to her freedom.

If you feel you are the victim of domestic violence, here are some things to look out for in your partner’s behavior:

  1. Does your partner keep you from going out or doing things that you want to do?
  2. Does your partner’s behavior make you feel as if you are wrong?
  3. Do you feel obligated or coerced into having sex with your partner?
  4. Does your partner say that if you try to leave, he or she will kill himself or herself or you?
  5. Do you lie to your family, friends and doctor about your bruises, cuts and scratches?
  6. Does your partner criticize you or embarrass you in front of others?
  7. Do you watch what you are doing in order to avoid making your partner angry or upset?

You can take the whole questionnaire here. 

The interview with Andrea is below:

 

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Eminem stays shady about relationship with Nicki Minaj at Governors Ball

Eminem is cleaning out his closet, and he has news for Nicki Minaj.

“I’m gonna tell you something about Nicki that she don’t even know,” Eminem told a crowd at the Governor’s Ball Music Festival. “We go together.”

The “Cleanin’ Out My Closet” rapper continued his relationship tease, shouting out…

/entertainment – New York Daily News

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John Cena & Nikki Bella Are Back Together & ‘Working On Their Relationship’ After Split

It finally happened! John Cena and Nikki Bella are reportedly back together a month and a half after ending their ending their engagement! Here’s all the latest news on thie newly rekindled relationship!

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Pete Davidson Kisses Girlfriend Ariana Grande After Confirming Relationship: Pic

Packing on the PDA! Ariana Grande sent fans into a frenzy after sharing a photo cozying up to new boyfriend Pete Davidson.

The 24-year-old pop star took to Instagram on Thursday, May 31, to post the pic of herself leaning into Davidson, 24, as he kissed her forehead. “I thought u into my life,” Grande captioned the sweet snapshot. “Woah! Look at my mind.”

i thought u into my life 💭 woah ! look at my mind 💡⚡🙈

A post shared by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on

One day earlier, the newly minted couple made headlines for confirming their relationship via Instagram in quite the pun-y way. “The chamber of secrets has been opened,” the SNL star wrote on Wednesday, May 30, alongside a picture of the pair wearing matching Harry Potter outfits.

Grande and Davidson have been seemingly inseparable since their relationship was revealed on May 21. The duo recently spent Memorial Day Weekend together roasting marshmallows and cuddling close by the fire. They’ve also frequently been flirting on social media, leaving cute comments on each other’s photos.

In light of her new romance, Grande has faced backlash for moving on so quickly following her from longtime boyfriend Mac Miller earlier this month. The “No Tears Left to Cry” crooner clapped back at her critics via Twitter on May 23, explaining why she felt the need to end her “toxic relationship.”

“I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be,” she tweeted, referencing Miller’s recent DUI arrest. “I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety & prayed of this balance for years (and always will of course) but shaming/blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his shit together is a very major problem.”

Meanwhile, Davidson split from his ex-girlfriend of two years, Cazzie David, in March.

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Lawsuit against Express Scripts over relationship with Anthem dismissed

A federal judge on Tuesday dismissed a lawsuit brought against Express Scripts by shareholders.
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Gap in financial literacy widens for couples the longer the relationship lasts, study suggests

As couples mature together, they often grow apart in their level of interest and skill in handling their finances. A disparity in financial literacy that may be small or even nonexistent at first can increase over time depending on how much responsibility one partner undertakes.
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Stassi Shroeder Reflects On Her Relationship With Ex Boyfriend Patrick Meagher: “I Couldn’t See It For What It Was”

Viewers of “Vanderpump Rules” got to see two toxic relationships play out other than Brittany Cartwright and Jax Taylor’s. Scheana Marie has already had her epiphany that her romance with Rob Valletta was more give than take. Now, Stassi Schroeder […]
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In ‘God Save Texas,’ Lawrence Wright Explores the Love-Hate Relationship With the Lone Star State

Jacob_09

In 1979, 14 years after fleeing Texas as a teenager, journalist Lawrence Wright found himself on assignment in the Lone Star State in a little town called Gruene, his stomach full of a three-inch rare steak.

George Strait was opening for a swing band at legendary music venue Gruene Hall, when Wright—who lived in Atlanta at the time—finally felt the push to move back to his home state.

“Dancers were two-stepping; the boys had longnecks in the rear pockets of their jeans and the girls wore aerodynamic skirts,” Wright chronicles in his new book about his Lone Star home land, God Save Texas.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

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Why Nikki Bella Ended Her 6-Year Relationship With John Cena

Nikki Bella was the one to throw in the towel when it came to her relationship with John Cena, an insider close to the couple reveals to Us Weekly exclusively.

“The things he’s been saying on television and in the press recently hurt Nikki,” the insider tells Us about why Bella, 34, ultimately ended her six-year relationship with Cena, 40. “John is a mess” because of the split, the source continued, and noted that while Bella isn’t happy, “she is not devastated.”

John-Cena-and-Nikki-Bella split
John Cena and Nikki Bella attend the 2017 FOX Upfront at Wollman Rink, Central Park on May 15, 2017 in New York City. Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

“She’s in a place where she’s just exhausted by some of the things going on in the relationship. John is the love of her life [and] she adores him. They still speak. It’s just very hard. But right now, she has to focus on herself,” the insider continues.

As Us Weekly was first to report, the couple, who got engaged in April 2017, announced their split on Sunday, April 15. “While this decision was a difficult one, we continue to have a great deal of love and respect for one another,” the former couple told Us in a statement. “We ask that you respect our privacy during this time in our lives.”

The WWE stars’ personalities were also very different, which ultimately pulled them apart. While Cena is shy and introverted, he’s very guarded, the insider notes. “Right now, Nikki has to find Nikki. She’s in a great place with her career, has an amazing family who will be with her through this entire journey, and she needs some time to figure It all out.”

Following the announcement, Cena took to Instagram to post a meme that read, “Worst day ever!” He also shared a telling quote from poet Walt Whitman on Saturday, April 14: “We were together. I forget the rest.”

Bella and Cena’s wedding was set to take place on May 5.

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Best of Frenemies: A Brief History of Han and Lando’s Relationship on Screen

With Lando Calrissian returning to screens next month in Solo: A Star Wars Story, we thought it would be a good time to look back at one of the most popular characters in the franchise. And detail his relationship with best frenemy Han Solo.

Though be warned, while Lando has appeared in novels, comics, video games, and animated shows, this feature will simply be dealing with his exploits in the movies.

Losing the Millennium Falcon


The Millennium Falcon.

Lando Calrissian became a smuggler and a gambler early in life, and made money playing a card game called sabacc. He wore a pretty badass cape, fired a badass X-8 Night Sniper blaster, and cruised the galaxy on a badass ship called the Millenium Falcon, which could make “the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.”

But Lando was to lose his beloved ship in a game of sabacc with old sparring partner Han Solo, an equally disreputable smuggler and gambler. Who may or may not have cheated to win the booty. We’d bet smart money on that game playing out in the new movie.

Following the loss of his precious ship, Lando went straight. Kind of. He gave up a life of crime to become the administrator of Cloud City, a gas installation near Bespin, where he endeavoured to avoid the attentions of the Empire. But it was easier said than done…

Lando Betrays Han

During The Empire Strikes Back, Darth Vader and Boba Fett journey to Cloud City to make Lando an offer he can’t refuse; set a trap for his old friend Han or risk the wrath of the Empire. With little choice, Lando agrees to do the former.

When Han arrives on Cloud City, Lando initially pretends to be angry for past transgressions, but quickly drops the act, welcoming Solo, Leia and Chewbacca with open arms.

The betrayal is soon revealed in one of the saddest scenes in the series however, with Vader taking the Rebels prisoner, while Lando looks on, ashamed.

Calrissian quickly sees the error of his ways, with Vader changing the terms of the deal, refusing to let Leia and Chewie leave Cloud City, and torturing Han before freezing him in carbonite. All of which lights a fire inside Calrissian, who at the end of the film vows to save his old friend.

Lando Rescues Han


Badass cape.

At the start of Return of the Jedi, Lando has infiltrated Jabba the Hutt‘s palace, where the frozen Han hangs as barbaric decoration. Calrissian is working undercover as a palace guard, and wearing a mask to protect his identity.

He stays in disguise throughout the opening sequence, only revealing himself when Luke Skywalker’s plan is in full swing, and the palace party has moved to the Great Pit of Carkoon.

Unfortunately, while freeing prisoners and fighting fellow guards, Lando ends up on the edge of the deadly pit himself, with his own life in danger. So while he pretty much saves Han at the start of the movie, almost immediately Solo is rescuing him, blasting a sarlaac tentacle so Lando can escape its clutches.

Lando and Han Save the Galaxy


Nien Nunb and Lando.

Later in the movie, Lando offers to lead the attack on the second Death Star, and is made General of the Rebel Alliance. Because, as he puts it, “Somone must have told them about my little manoeuvre at the Battle of Taanab.”

Together he and Han mount a two-pronged attack on Darth Vader’s weapon of mass destruction. So while Solo is busy disabling the Death Star’s protective shield in the Battle of Endor, Calrissian is in space, back behind the controls of the Millennium Falcon. Which he promises to return to Han without a scratch.

Lando co-pilots the craft alongside adorable Sullustan Nien Numb, and together they take out scores of TIE Fighters while waiting for Solo to complete his mission. Han duly takes out the shield, and Lando fires a shot into the super-weapon’s reactor core. Starting a chain reaction that ultimately destroys the Death Star.

Calrissian speeds away from the explosion, though in the process his craft takes a knock and loses its sensor dish. Meaning that Lando and Han save the galaxy together, but the Falcon returns with a very definite scratch.

Solo: A Star Wars Story — which stars Donald Glover as the young Lando Calrissian — hits screens on May 24, when we’ll find out how the two scoundrels first became friends.

‘Solo’ Should Have Been ‘Lando’

The post Best of Frenemies: A Brief History of Han and Lando’s Relationship on Screen appeared first on FANDOM.

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Trump doesn’t care what anyone thinks about his puzzling relationship with Putin, including his own foreign policy team, GOP senators and US allies


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EXCLUSIVE: Toni Braxton Gushes Over Relationship with Fiancé, Bryan ‘Birdman’ Williams

With new album, Sex & Cigarettes, on the way and a new season of Braxton Family Values on the horizon, Toni Braxton is as busy as ever. The timeless beauty was diagnosed with lupus in 2008, and stress can often wreak havoc on her immune system. Fortunately, she has the love and support of fiancé, Cash Money Records founder Bryan ‘Birdman’ Williams, to keep her sane during her most trying moments.

In this exclusive interview with EBONY, the seven-time Grammy winner shares what made her fall for the New Orleans boss, saying it was a slow and steady courtship that even she didn’t see coming.

“We’ve been friends forever. We were friends who realized, ‘Wow, we really care for each other,’ Braxton reveals. “I don’t think we ever expected this to turn into a relationship, he was just my buddy. He’d show me support, he’d come to see me in my plays, it was really a friendship that became something more.”

Toni Braxton

The R&B icon goes on to break down exactly how she knew Baby was ‘the one,’ after he came through for her during an intense health scare.

“The turning point for me was when I had a giant [lupus] flare, and I had obligated myself to go on tour. I was trying to still do it–even though I should’ve cancelled–and he told me, ‘I’m going to be out there with you just to make sure you’re OK.’”

Braxton continues, “How he treated me made me look at him different, like, Wow! That’s how the friendship kind of transitioned into what it is today.”

While the pair couldn’t be more in sync, the stunning songstress can’t help but notice the public’s perception of them.

“People see us and think we’re total opposites, and we are! We are OPPOSITES,” the mother of two admits. “Opposites attract, but he’s truly a gentleman, I mean he’s really a gentleman. People don’t know that about him.”

Sex & Cigarettes drops March 23 and is available for pre-order. Braxton Family Values, Season Six, debuts March 22 on WE tv. Check out the trailer below.

The post EXCLUSIVE: Toni Braxton Gushes Over Relationship with Fiancé, Bryan ‘Birdman’ Williams appeared first on EBONY.

EBONY

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Cheryl and Liam Payne are still battling for approval to turn their £5m family home into a ‘mega-mansion’ despite crisis talks over their relationship

CHERLY and Liam Payne are reportedly still battling for approval to turn their £5million family home into a “mega-mansion” – despite crisis talks over their relationship.

The couple, who are preparing to split, have submitted numerous planning applications to extend the house they share with baby Bear in Working, Surrey.

Liam Payne and Cheryl face crisis talks as their two-year relationship is on the verge of collapse
Rex Features

Liam Payne and Cheryl face crisis talks as their two-year relationship is on the verge of collapse[/caption]

The couple live in this £5million house in Surrey – and are still planning to double it in size
Instagram

And despite the former One Direction star seeking legal advice over a split, the pair are said to be determined to carry on with major renovations to double the size of the property, according to MailOnline.

Liam, who is worth an estimated £54million, purchased the house for £5.1 million back in 2015 and submitted plans for a garage area, which would have been home to his collection of expensive supercars.

The extension would also include an entrance to the house, an indoor pool and a new guest house – increasing the building’s volume from 93.37m3 to 199m3 – or a whopping 133 percent.

According to the newspaper, Woking Borough Council refused permission in October, ruling: ‘The proposed single storey side and front extensions represent a disproportionate addition over and above the size of the original dwelling and consequently constitutes inappropriate development within the Green Belt.”

Liam Payne's marriage advances have been consistently rebuffed by Cheryl
Rex Features

Liam Payne’s marriage advances have been consistently rebuffed by Cheryl[/caption]

Liam Payne raised the prospect of marrying Cheryl after the birth of their son Bear but her rejection has fuelled crisis speculation
Rex Features

Liam Payne raised the prospect of marrying Cheryl after the birth of their son Bear but her rejection has fuelled crisis speculation[/caption]

The pair are said to be appealing that decision, with a public notice listed on the council website as recent as February 9.

Last year, we revealed that the couple were granted permission to make some major renovations to their six bedroom country pad.

Despite Cheryl being pregnant at the time they forewent building a nursery and instead converted three garages into a giant snooker room as well as building a big underground gym and swimming pool.

The planning appeal comes as pals say 24-year-old Liam began re-evaluating their romance as his solo career began taking off.

Liam appeared on Capital FM’s breakfast show but made just one reference to Cheryl
Liam appeared on Capital FM’s breakfast show but made just one reference to Cheryl
CAPITAL FM
Sources close to Liam Payne revealed that his burgeoning solo career has increased tensions between the couple
Sources close to Liam Payne revealed that his burgeoning solo career has increased tensions between the couple
Liam Payne holds his newborn son Bear the day of his birth - March 22 2017
Liam Payne holds his newborn son Bear the day of his birth – March 22 2017

He also realised their relationship was doomed when Cheryl kept dismissing his talk of marriage.

A source said: “Liam is smitten with his little boy and wants things to work between him and Cheryl, so thought talk of marriage was a positive step.

“But she just doesn’t seem to be thinking in the same sort of way and has made it clear that’s not on the cards at the moment, which he saw as a real snub.

“The reality is his solo career has been very demanding on his time and Cheryl has spent a lot of time alone as a new mum.

Rita Ora and Liam Payne have been promoting their track For You from the soundtrack for the movie Fifty Shades Freed since the start of the year
Getty – Contributor

Rita Ora and Liam Payne have been promoting their track For You from the soundtrack for the movie Fifty Shades Freed since the start of the year[/caption]



“That’s put pressure on her and the relationship and they’ve drifted apart.

“Nobody is sure if they’ll be able to pull things back from the brink.”

Yesterday Liam appeared on Capital FM’s breakfast show but made just one reference to Cheryl — while debating which football team Bear will support.

Meanwhile, pals have claimed that Cheryl had tried to get Liam to stop talking about Bear or her in interviews, and that his failure to stop had put strain on their relationship.

Liam Payne, pictured with Cheryl, as she's heavily pregnant with baby Bear
Getty – Contributor

Liam Payne, pictured with Cheryl, as she’s heavily pregnant with baby Bear[/caption]


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TV and Showbiz – latest celebrity news, gossip, photos, TV and film reviews | The Sun

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Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas have Hailee Steinfeld to thank for their relationship

Does Hailee take clients?

Startraks Photo/REX/Shutterstock

Words by Nicole Cord-Cruz

From the editors of HelloGiggles

Hailee Steinfeld is a woman of many talents. She can sing, she can dance, she can act, and apparently, she can play matchmaker with her pals. And when Hailee Steinfeld decided to play cupid, the relationship that followed led to a happy engagement. It’s true! Just ask Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas.

In a recent interview with Nova 96.9’s Smallzy, the Pitch Perfect star — who previously collaborated with Jonas’s band DNCE on ‘Rock Bottom,’ — revealed that she’s the one who encouraged Turner when the Game of Thrones actress asked her to vouch for Joe.

‘So Joe just got engaged to my really good friend Sophie Turner, and I’m freaking out about it,’ Hailee Steinfeld shared. ‘I mean, I will say, I did get that text from Sophie being like, ‘So tell me about Joe,’ and I was like ‘Go for it!”

And she’s *so* excited for the happy couple.

‘I actually just saw them both for the first time since they got engaged; I saw them together,’ she added. ‘And yeah, I mean, I’m freaking out about it.’

If we were responsible for someone else’s engagement, we’d totally freak out too!

Joe and Sophie (or should we say #JOPHIE?!) have always kept their relationship under wraps, so when news got out that they were planning to tie the knot, everyone went nuts!

But on one of the few times that Turner spilled details about her relationship with the DNCE frontman, she shared that she’s happy to have found someone who understands her line of work.

‘I found it easier to date someone who understands the industry or is in that world,’ she says. ‘You realise that you’re not going to see each other all the time. And you don’t feel like a jerk when you’re like, ‘My publicist says I can’t do this…”

The celebrity couple has also been keeping their wedding plans on the DL, but what we do know is that Turner’s co-star and BFF Maisie Williams will be one of the bridesmaids.

‘I already got it,’ Williams told Radio Times when asked if she’s eyeing for a spot as one of the bridesmaids. ‘It’s very, very exciting. It’s kind of bizarre, though.’

We wish we knew more about Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner’s upcoming nuptials, but one thing’s for sure: They’ll soon be sending Hailee Steinfeld a raven with an invite to the wedding.

The post Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas have Hailee Steinfeld to thank for their relationship appeared first on Marie Claire.

Marie Claire

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Style Your Home’s Outdoors with All the Perfect Additions from MacKenzie-Childs! Save on Tables, House Letters & Chairs. Shop Now!

7 THINGS and tips to remember when you start a new relationship

OHMYGOSSIP — It feels so exciting when you fall in love and start a new relationship! New relationships are about hope, some expectations and fresh feelings. But sometimes a new relationship collapses when they hardly starts.

Remamber, a good start determines the further outcome of your relationship! When you just start dating someone it’s very easy to make mistakes and scary the person away. Sure, every relationship is highly individual and unique, but here some universal tips to remember when you start a new relationship.

1. Don’t pursue your boyfriend
I always found it difficult. When I fall in love with someone I want to spend every second with this person to get to know him better. I become literally obsessed with the guy and it’s often the main cause of all my unsuccessful relationships. Such an excessive attention is the sure way to frighten the person off. Try to avoid calling him every hour or typing romantic messages if you’ve just started dating. Guys love when a girl can take the first step, but they cannot stand when the girl is persistent or even annoying. On the other hand, try not to hold him back. Avoid these two extremes and find the golden mean in your communication.

2. Don’t pretend to be someone else
When you like someone it’s natural that you want reciprocity. You want to gain the person’s approval and try hard to correspond to his expectations and preferences. However, you cannot make a different version of yourself. Sooner or later you’ll get tired to play this game and when he gets to know your true self, it’ll break your partner’s heart. When you pretend to be someone else, your guy cannot appreciate your real personality. If you know that your guy loves blue-eyed blondes, but you have beautiful brown tresses, you shouldn’t even think to dye your hair color! Try to be honest and open from the very beginning.

3. Your new boyfriend isn’t your previous one

Never ever try to compare your current boyfriend with your previous ones. Moreover, you should never discuss your previous relationships with your guy. It’s the easiest way to make him suspicious and jealous about all your male friends, which will surely lead to a breakdown. This rule works both ways. While you should keep silent about your previous guys, try not to ask him about his girlfriends as well. You don’t really need to know the person’s past to get to know him better. While dating him you’ll have plenty of opportunities to see everything with your own eyes.

4. Avoid being too fast
You’ve just started dating, but you’re already imagining your wedding and a happy family with 3 kids and a dog. Wait for a second, aren’t you too fast? Don’t cherish illusions as for your common future; everything is very uncertain at the beginning of your relationship and you still need a lot of time to explore each other. If you hint that you have some plans as for your future, be sure your relationship won’t go too far. I’ve noticed that most of my successful relationships occurred when I thought I had no chances with the guy. Remember that your relationship should develop its natural way. Your boyfriend shouldn’t tell you ‘I love you’ on the third date.

5. Don’t be the center of attention
When you want to impress your new boyfriend, you can go too far boasting about your personality, interests, hobbies or whatever else. However, you can get too tiresome and boring. Instead, try to talk about his personality. Take an interest in his work, hobbies, family and past. When he’s talking about something, be a careful and active listener. Guys will never tell you that, but they like to be complimented! Compliments will raise his self-esteem and dignity. Say some kind words about his achievements or personal qualities.

6. Don’t gather information

If you have common friends, don’t try to question them about your boyfriend. This is of crucial importance when it comes to his previous girls and relationships. If your guy finds out that (be sure he’ll find out), you will have a great difficulty trying to explain the situation to him. You shouldn’t rely on his social accounts either. What the person pretends to be online and what the person actually is are two totally different things. The best way to understand your partner is communication and spending time together.

7. Don’t be a perfectionist

Many relationships fail simply because you expect too much from the person. Several years ago I composed the list of features I expected from my potential boyfriend. There were nearly fifteen traits of character, if I’m not mistaken. No wonder all my relationships collapsed very soon since I was too high-maintenance and any man could hardly satisfy my needs. However, I’ve realized that I’m not ideal either, so it’s rather dishonest to expect perfection from someone else. Both of you are human beings and it’s natural that you have some shortcomings and imperfections.

A new relationship always gives you a chance to start everything anew. Even though the outcome of your relationship depends on many factors, you can still do a lot to make a good start. Follow the aforementioned tips if you want to start a successful relationship and get married.


Featured image: Marion D. (© Ohmygossip Couture/ Eric Fagerheim)
Source: Womanitely/Jennifer Houston

 

Look also:
20 Powerful secrets to meaningful relationships
OHMYGOSSIP — Here are twenty powerful secrets that will help you form meaningful relationships with people.

Helena-Reet: Nobody is fascinating for others as long as he has nothing to give
Some days ago I talked to a friend who lives in California and she gladly said: “Helena-Reet, you can’t imagine what a cool site I found on the Internet. It’s possible to buy tickets to whatever A-list event that takes place in Hollywood and to the private parties of celebrities as well.

Helena-Reet: There is just one way to get what you wish – follow your own guidance!
It is sad that many people search for security everywhere but inside themselves. The truth is, that security comes from within – nothing outside can give you a sense of security, if you are insecure inside. There is nothing that can make you secure except yourself.

Remember, happy people always choose happiness! 10 Reasons why you deserve to be happy
OHMYGOSSIP — With the New Year coming up fast, it’s time for you to start thinking about your goals and dreams for 2015. Focusing on things that make you happy should be a high priority.

Obvious signs a guy is flirting with you: 10 Ways men flirt that women don’t notice

OHMYGOSSIP — Ever wonder if that nice guy is flirting with you? There are a few proven ways that can tell you if he is interested in you. While it’s difficult to read body language at times, it’s possible if you know where to start. Here are 10 ways that men unconsciously and even consciously let you know that they like you. Take a look, see what you see and maybe you will find your love right now.

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Vanderpump Rules’ Ariana Madix Recalls Past Abusive Relationship: “I’m Uncomfortable With My Vagina”

Ariana MadixAriana Madix is opening up like never before on Vanderpump Rules.
On tonight’s all-new episode, the SUR employee met up with co-star and friend LaLa Kent for a shopping trip. When…

E! Online (US) – Top Stories

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Take an Extra 20% off Clearance at Zales.com!

Jennifer: “My Relationship with Tim Is Going Really Well” | Welcome to Sweetie Pie’s | OWN

OWN

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

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Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

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Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

A Love-Hate Relationship with Hosiery

By hosiery, I mean all forms of pantyhose. From the sheerest nudes to the thickest opaques, woolly tights, and everything in between. 

Hosiery can look gorgeous with a dress, skirt or pair of shorts. Patterned, solid, neutral, flesh-toned, dark, light, textured, sparkly, matte, sheer or opaque, hosiery adds a finishing touch to your outfit. It can amp up the polish, create textural and pattern-mixed interest, elongate the leg line, visually smooth the skin on the legs, provide contouring support, keep you warm, and look professional. 

With all these wonderful attributes, what’s not to love? 

Well, top of the list is that hosiery can be very uncomfortable. Tight on the midsection, too short or long in the leg, scratchy, constricting, and made of unbreathable fabric. Then there’s the issue of getting it on, which is generally a time-consuming process, especially when hose has contouring and shaping design features. It’s easier and faster to put on a pair of jeans or trousers. Next is the problem with snagging the hose — and once they’re snagged it’s goodbye hose. It’s infuriating snagging a pair of hose as you’re putting them on for the first time. What a waste. Hosiery can create static cling and cause knitted dresses and skirts to creep up as you stride. And they make going to the loo a mission. 

Sometimes, hosiery is thought of as dowdy and unattractive. But that’s a question of styling and finding the right hose for the outfit. The other problems, however, are less easily solved. 

I adore hosiery for all the pros I mentioned. I stick to sheer solids and tonal patterns, because to my eye the visual effect is dressier and prettier, which suits my look. I don’t enjoy or wear black opaques. I find them too dark for my style, and they make my lower legs look too narrow. I also don’t wear woolly tights because they remind me of the scratchy stockings I had to wear with my school uniform back in the ‘70s.  

As for the cons, I don’t find hosiery that uncomfortable. I quite like the feeling of the compression when I’m wearing a skirt or dress. Maybe that’s because I don’t wear pantyhose that often, so it’s a bit of a novelty when I do. I’ve learned to be patient and careful when I pull them on, and I don’t snag hosiery nearly as much as I used to. 

I’m on the “Love” end of the “Love-Hate” continuum. How about you?


YouLookFab

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How to Run a Business With Your Spouse Without Ruining the Relationship

If you’re considering starting a business with your spouse, you might want to discuss a few things with one another to avoid ruining your relationship. So to get some insight on how to divide responsibilities and shut down work issues at home, we asked husband-and-wife co-founders Holly McWhorter and Bjarke Ballisager of Plant Apothecary to share their perspective.

 

(Image: iStock/izusek)

 

As co-founders of a successful makeup line and beauty brand, you both bring a mix of skills in architecture, journalism, and music. What transferrable skills did you bring into running the business every day? Architecture demands a high level of problem-solving skills, so we’ve both been able to bring those to the table for this business from our work in that field—along with visual presentation and design skills. And I’ve been able to put my writing skills to use with our marketing efforts—the blog, social media, and written interviews. We haven’t found a place for the music yet, but maybe that’ll come later!

What’s the hardest part of working together as a team every day? The hardest part is the creative conflicts. No two creatives will ever have exactly the same ideas about how best to present a brand, and being married doesn’t change that at all. And then there’s the difficulty of rarely having any time away from each other during the day, so we can start to miss each other. Time apart is good for any relationship!

After a challenging day at work, how do you turn off work mode? We wish we could say we’re always out and about on the town, taking in art and music and socializing, but the truth is we’re both usually so worn out after work these days that it’s usually Netflix. Or soccer, for Bjarke. But we’re hoping that as the business grows and we’re able to expand our staff, we’ll be less stressed and have more energy after work!

Can you provide any tips or advice for working with your spouse? Here’s the main one: Try to divide and conquer, as in being responsible for separate parts of the business. Consistent agreement about every single aspect of a complex business (or complex anything) with one’s spouse is not something that occurs in the natural world, so if you can avoid having to do that, do.

Small Business – Black Enterprise

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Blake Griffin on His ‘Love-Hate’ Relationship With Dunking

In an interview with Sports Illustrated's Lee Jenkins, Los Angeles Clippers star player Blake Griffin explained his "love-hate" relationship with dunking. Known for being one of the best dunkers in

This article originally appeared on www.rollingstone.com: Blake Griffin on His ‘Love-Hate’ Relationship With Dunking

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Wedding Attendance Can Strain Your Relationship With Your Finances

Most of us know that weddings can get really expensive. Turns out wedding attendance can be costly, too.

 

(Image: iStock/ManoAfrica)

 

A wedding can be a major financial endeavor, costing an average of more than $ 35,000 last year, according to wedding site TheKnot.com. According to a new survey by LendEDU, a company that markets student-loan products, wedding attendance can get pricey, too, if you’re not mindful of the costs. LendEDU published the results of a recent poll it commissioned of 1,000 Americans who attended a wedding in 2017.

Among the key findings:

  • The average wedding attendee spends about $ 1,386 per wedding. Multiply that by three to five weddings a year, and wedding attendance can take a serious bite out of your budget.
  • Within that expenditure, about $ 529 goes toward travel (including plane tickets, gas, hotel room), about $ 329 goes toward the wedding gift, nearly $ 224 goes toward clothing (a suit or dress, dry cleaning), and about $ 304 goes toward miscellaneous expenses.
  • A third of respondents said they purchase a wedding gift off the registry, 32% said they either give cash or check, while 3% said they do not give a gift.

To control spending on wedding attendance, keep these tips in mind:

  • Budget for gifts in your annual household spending plan, for weddings, as well as holidays and other occasions. Consider who is likely to get married in the coming year, and which weddings you’ll want to attend, and then save, budget, and plan accordingly.
  • Don’t give in to social or familial pressure to attend every wedding you are invited to (especially destination weddings, which may include travel, lodging, and other costs that fall outside of your budget). Save by attending only those most important to you, and sending an affordable gift or just a nice card of congratulations for the others.
  • Don’t get caught up in competition with family members or other attendees to buy the most impressive gift. Don’t give anything, including cash, that is more than what you budgeted for.

To learn more survey results, check out “The Average Price of Going to A Wedding in 2017” at LendEDU.com.

Money – Black Enterprise

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Shop select Free People sale and clearance items at Bloomingdales.com!

Teen Mom’s Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin Break Down When Confronting the Death of Their Relationship

Kailyn LowryIs there hope for one of Teen Mom’s most unpredictable couples?
On Friday’s all-new episode of Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars, Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin faced another…

E! Online (US) – TV News

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Nelly’s Girlfriend Posts Clip About Their ‘Fun’ Relationship Amidst His Rape Allegations

Recent rape allegations against Nelly have left the rapper’s fans stunned, but it appears as though his girlfriend Shantel Jackson is sticking by him. Jackson took to social media on Monday to boast about how “fun” it is to be in a relationship with the hip hop star.

In a promotional clip for The Platinum Life, E!’s new reality series which dives into the lives of the intriguing women who are in relationships with men in the music industry, the model opens up about what she’s looking for long-term in her relationship with Nelly.

“The best part about being with Nelly is that he always likes to have fun,” she says.

“I don’t wanna be a baby momma, I want, you know, the horse and carriage, the wedding, the ring before I have a baby,” she continues in the clip. “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.”

Early Saturday morning, Nelly was arrested following a woman’s claim that the rapper had sexually assaulted her on his tour bus while in Washington. He was later released from police custody as authorities continue to investigate the allegations.

A rep for Nelly tells PEOPLE via a statement from his lawyer that the woman’s claims are “a completely fabricated allegation” and they are confident that he will not be charged.

“Our initial investigation clearly establishes this allegation is devoid of credibility and is motivated by greed and vindictiveness,” Nelly’s attorney Scott Rosenblum said in a statement. “I am confident, once this scurrilous accusation is thoroughly investigated, there will be no charges. Nelly is prepared to address and pursue all legal avenues to redress any damage caused by this clearly false allegation.”

On Saturday afternoon, Nelly tweeted that he was “shocked” by the allegations, claiming to be “completely innocent.”

“Let me say that I am beyond shocked that I have been targeted with this false allegation,” he said. “I am completely innocent. I am confident that once the facts are looked at, it will be very clear that I am the victim of a false allegation.”

“I do want to apologize to my loved ones for the embarrassment and for putting myself in a situation where I could be victimized by this false and defaming allegation,” he added. “I also want to thank my fans for their unwavering support. They know me. I assure you I will be vindicated. And I assure you, I will pursue every legal option to address this defaming claim. Thank you. In other words y’all know damm well I ain’t do no dumm S^*t like this..!! Love ..!!!!”

Nelly continued, “To be absolutely clear. I have not been charged with a crime therefore no bail was required. I was released, pending further investigation.”


PEOPLE.com

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Twitter chat: America’s unhealthy relationship with opioids

America has an opioid problem.

More than 20 million people have substance use disorders, the Surgeon General said in a report last year, adding that 12.5 million Americans reported misusing prescription pain relievers. Ninety-one Americans die of an opioid overdose each day, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

How did this start? And what are we doing about it?

As a part of the PBS NewsHour series “American Addicted,” NewsHour (@NewsHour) will host a Twitter chat at 1 p.m. ET Friday, Sept. 29 to talk about opioid use and substance abuse with Dr. Leana Wen (@DrLeanaWen), Baltimore City Health Commissioner and Dr. Sarah Wakeman (@DrSarahWakeman), medical director of the Substance Use Disorder Initiative and the Addiction Consult Team at Massachusetts General Hospital.

Humans have struggled with opioids for centuries. Today, opioids are used as prescription painkillers, typically for chronic or acute pain such as a cancer or a wisdom tooth removal. The CDC reported that from 1999 to 2014, the sale of prescription opioids in the U.S. nearly quadrupled, while the amount of reported pain remained the same. The drugs have also enjoyed a sales spike on the so-called dark web, a set of websites and servers where users can purchase opioids anonymously.

Opioids target parts of our brain that release dopamine, a chemical associated with happiness, which can lead to addictive behavior. There are 48.9 million Americans using opioids or opiates, according to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime. For those abusing the drug, quitting would mean several days of torturous withdrawal. Yet as opioid overdoses reach an all time high, doctors and other substance abuse experts are trying new methods to prevent and treat substance abuse.

Have questions? Tweet them using #NewsHourChats

The post Twitter chat: America’s unhealthy relationship with opioids appeared first on PBS NewsHour.


PBS NewsHour

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Young Thug ft. Future “Relationship,” Uncle Murda ft. 50 Cent & Jeremih “On & On” & More | Daily Visuals 9.28.17

Rappers gone wild!

Well, maybe not literally but in the visuals to Young Thug’s “Relationship,” he and Future take it back to the VHS era when home camcorders captured young women doing the most and recorded the kind of behavior that they’d have a hard time explaining to their future children.

We know lots of grown women today are glad VHS players are a thing of the past.

Back on the block Uncle Murda, 50 Cent and Jeremih give some attractive young women a taste of the good life and take them on a trip to La La Land in the clip to “On & On.”

Check out the rest of today’s drops including work from Dave East featuring Chris Brown, Curren$ y & Lex Luger, and more.

YOUNG THUG FT. FUTURE – “RELATIONSHIP”

UNCLE MURDA FT. 50 CENT & JEREMIH – “ON & ON”

DAVE EAST FT. CHRIS BROWN – “PERFECT”

CURREN$ Y & LEX LUGER – “PRESSURE”

LIL YACHTY – “LADY IN YELLOW”

RUSS – “RIDE SLOW”

FORTEBOWIE – “NEVA BEEN”

SHAQISDOPE – “POWER”

SKIPP WHITMAN FT. J.W.J – “COMFORTABLE”

The post Young Thug ft. Future “Relationship,” Uncle Murda ft. 50 Cent & Jeremih “On & On” & More | Daily Visuals 9.28.17 appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Hip-Hop Wired

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10 Ways to Help Establish a Strong Banking Relationship

relationship

Entrерrеnеurѕ dоn’t consider соmmunісаting with thеіr bаnk оn regular basis, whісh could mean раѕѕіng up grеаt орроrtunіties fоr profitable future ventures. Perhaps you should consider уоur consulting with your bаnkеr when looking for аnѕwеrѕ, seeking increased productivity, and when you are in need of a gеnеrаl аѕѕеѕѕmеnt оf уоur buѕіnеѕѕ аnd financial system.

The fоllоwіng are fеw tips tо guіdе уоu thrоugh thе рrocess of forging strong, quality relationships with your banker:

1. Find thе Rіght Bаnkеr

 

To effectively take advantage of your bаnkеr’ѕ асtuаl раrt аѕ a consultant, уоu should begin bу fоrmіng аnd kееріng up a stable relationship, and at thе heart of this rеlаtіоnѕhір, there must bе truѕt аnd соmmunісаtіоn. 

You mау know аnd wоrk wіth a banker уоu lіkе аnd truѕt, and if so, that is incredible. However, it would behoove you to аudіt the remaining tips tо guаrаntее that уоu аrе gеttіng the most out of that relationship.  If, by any chance, you do not have a relationship now, then set аѕіdе thе time to dіѕсоvеr your bаnk, аnd find a fіnаnсіеr who will work bеѕt fоr уоu and your business.

2. Get Rеfеrrаlѕ

 

An incredible аррrоасh to begin selecting the right banker and banking institution іѕ tо get some information about your friends and colleagues own bаnkіng rеlаtіоnѕhірs. Which banks do they use? What hаѕ bееn their еxреrіеnсе? Would thеу рrеѕсrіbе thеіr own bank to others? Cоmраnіоnѕ аnd аѕѕосіаtеѕ аrе аn awesome рlасе tо ѕtаrt.

3. If You Own a Small Business, Find a Bank With a Small Buѕіnеѕѕ Fосuѕ

 

Make inquiries about thе dеgrее to which your bаnk has worked for and supported ѕmаll businesses. Whаt kіnd of сuѕtоmеrѕ dо they have? Whаt ѕоrtѕ оf рrоduсtѕ and ѕеrvісеѕ do thеу offer tо small businesses? Whаt fіnаnсіаl and bаnkіng сhаllеngеѕ dо thеу ѕее small companies соnfrоntіng, and hоw wоuld they help ѕmаll businesses аddrеѕѕ these issues?

4. Consider Your Industry аnd Geography Before Choosing a Bank

 

Search fоr a bаnkеr whо соmрrеhеndѕ уоur іnduѕtrу аnd the geographic dіѕtrісt of уоur business. It’ѕ еѕѕеntіаl thаt уоur bаnkеr has a firm handle on thе buѕіnеѕѕ and financial environment identified via уоur іnduѕtrу and gеоgrарhу.  

5. Present Yоurѕеlf аnd Your Business to Your Bank

 

The іnіtіаl phase іn utіlіzіng уоur banker аѕ аn аdvіѕеr іѕ реrmіttіng tіmе fоr them tо bесоmе more асԛuаіntеd with уоu аnd уоur buѕіnеѕѕ. Regardless of thе роѕѕіbіlіtу thаt уоu’rе a long lasting сlіеnt, welcome уоur banker tо уоur office оr place оf operation fоr a meeting.

6. Give Back to Your Banker

 

Whіlе іt’ѕ еѕѕеntіаl for the bаnk tо find out about уоur operations, after ѕоmе tіmе, it is also іmроrtаnt fоr уоu tо gіvе bасk whеn іt’ѕ duе. In a decent banking relationship, the bаnkеr wіll acquaint уоu wіth directors and key сhіеfѕ іn the bank, but in thе event that thе introductions are not оffеrеd, you can still request a mееtіng. Thе mоrе individuals уоu knоw аt the bаnk, thе mоrе probable уоur оrgаnіzаtіоn wіll become a соmmоnlу recognized nаmе. In addition, you will bесоmе mоrе аcquаіntеd with who mаkеѕ the сhоісеѕ, and hоw thеse decisions аrе made.

7. Utilize Yоur Bank for Regular Cоunѕеl

 

Lіkе уоur lеgаl аdvіѕоr or ассоuntаnt, you can utіlіzе your bаnkеr аѕ a genuine ѕресіаlіѕt. Onсе уоu’vе buіlt uр a rеlаtіоnѕhір and уоur bаnkеr comprehends your buѕіnеѕѕ, requеѕt that he or she аudіts your buѕіnеѕѕ ѕtrаtеgу. This is one of the mоѕt іdеаl аррrоасhеѕ tо using уоur bаnk’ѕ assets.  

8. Exploit Your Bank’s Prоduсtѕ аnd Services

 

At lеаѕt оnсе еvеrу year, you оught tо tаkе a ѕеаt with your banker tо audit the products уоu’rе utilizing. Maybe уоu’rе paying expenses for a рrоduсt уоu only use оnсе іn a while, or  your business is using tесhnоlоgу  that hаѕ evolved, with mоrе nоtеwоrthу proficiency and ассеѕѕіbility. Having this type of review wіth уоur bаnkеr can help teach you new ways to save саѕh аnd tіmе.  

9. Know That Bаnkіng іѕ Abоut Mоrе Than Crеdіt

 

Trу not tо lоѕе ѕіtе оf thе wау bаnkѕ offer mоrе thаn credit аnd lоаn сhоісеѕ—bаnkѕ can hеlр уоu with ѕеrvісеѕ tо deal with уоur аѕѕеtѕ аnd provide іnfоrmаtіоn tо hеlр уоu dеvеlор your buѕіnеѕѕ. Pаѕt a сhесkіng ассоunt, уоur banker should have thе сарасіtу to оffеr оthеr cash mаnаgеmеnt tооlѕ such as mobile banking services, credit саrd processing, fіnаnсе аdmіnіѕtrаtіоn, аnd оthеr services. Lіkеwіѕе, mаnу banks nоw offer online tооlѕ аnd аѕѕеtѕ for your business beyond bаnkіng. These іnсоrроrаtе tірѕ and expert advice оn еvеrуthіng frоm аdvеrtіѕіng аnd human resources tо social mеdіа, frаud prevention action, аnd e-commerce.  

10. Have an Ongoing Evаluаtіоn With Your Bank

 

Aѕсеrtаіn thаt you and уоur bаnkеr аrе both сlеаr on your fіnаnсіаl оbjесtіvеѕ. Aѕѕеѕѕ these no lеѕѕ than a соuрlе tіmеѕ еасh year wіth fоrmаl meetings, wіth either fасе-tо-fасе оr telephone dіѕсuѕѕіоnѕ. Email іѕ advantageous, but аn individual аѕѕосіаtіоn buіldѕ a ѕоlіd lоng tеrm аѕѕосіаtіоn. In раrtісulаr, these сhесk-іnѕ create an excellent opportunity for you tо еvаluаtе your rеquіrеmеntѕ аnd hоw these rеԛuіrеmеntѕ mау hаvе сhаngеd. Thеn you can make any of the іmроrtаnt mоdіfісаtіоnѕ deemed necessary.  

 

Thе соrrесt bаnkіng rеlаtіоnѕhір will not only  make your lіfе еаѕіеr, іt саn also hеlр уоu adequately mаnаgе аnd develop уоur buѕіnеѕѕ. It is crucial that you lосаtе thе correct bаnkеr fоr уоur оrgаnіzаtіоn. Once you do, ѕtер uр with rеgаrdѕ tо influence, and еnсоurаgе the kind of rеlаtіоnѕhір that will rесеіvе thе most in rеturn.

 

 

 

 


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This article was written by The BOSS Network Influencer, Cozette M. White

Cozette M. White is the CEO and founder of My Financial Home Enterprises, a nationwide a financial management firm helping entrepreneurs and organizations develop solutions that fuel business growth and transform products into EXCERLATING PROFITS.  Cozette has been coined “The Money Coach” as a result of her unparalleled ability to empower not only people, but businesses also, to learn to ditch the debt and develop a plan to create the kind of wealth that leaves a secure financial legacy.   She takes negative money stories and transforms them from limited beliefs to the sky’s the limit!

Learn more about Cozette M. White by visiting her website at www.myfinancialhome.com

Follow Cozette on Twitter @cozettemwhite

Money – Black Enterprise

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Jennifer Lopez in a ‘good relationship’

OHMYGOSSIP — Jennifer Lopez is in a “good relationship” for the “first time ever”.
The 48-year-old singer and actress is currently in a relationship with baseball shortstop Alex Rodriguez, and has praised her blossoming romance as “beautiful and different” to anything she’s experienced before.
Jennifer – who has nine-year-old twins Emme and Max with her ex-husband Marc Anthony – said: “I’m in a good relationship. I feel like I can say that for the first time – I don’t know – maybe ever. And not that I didn’t have great relationships, full of love and adventure, but this is the first relationship I’ve been where I feel like we really make each other better. We complement each other, and there’s really pure, true love. Just wanting to support the other person and make them happy. So, there’s a different selflessness in the love that’s beautiful and different. And healthy!”
The ‘Shades of Blue’ actress – who also previously married to Chris Judd and Ojani Noa, and enjoyed relationships with rapper P. Diddy, actor Ben Affleck, and recently romanced Drake before finding love with Alex – feels as though she’s in the “golden era” of her life right now, and is “shining brighter” than ever.
She said: “I feel that I am shining brighter than I ever have – that I’m better as a person, as a daughter, as a mother, as a friend, as a partner. I want to be better and I’m OK with all of it.
“I totally accept myself for all of those things. I’m not here to be perfect and I’m not here to be anything but my best, whatever that means for me.”
And the ‘On The Floor’ hitmaker has learned not to dwell on the past.
She told Hola! USA magazine: “What’s for you is for you, and everything else you have to kind of let it go. And learn from it and not fight it.”

Find us also on Twitter @OHMYGOSSIP

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How exactly would Meghan Markle define her relationship with…

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Read the full story.

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Did Chloë Moretz just hint that she has rekindled her relationship with Brooklyn Beckham?

These two <3

chloe moretz brooklyn beckham
Credit: REX

Words by Jadie Troy-Pryde

Brooklyn Beckham has had a very busy few months. He has released his debut photography book, he’s been racking up the tattoos and he has left home to start university in New York.

But while all this has been going on the rumour mill has been set to overdrive with many speculating that he is rekindling his romance with Hollywood actress, Chloë Moretz. The couple dated for around a year before announcing their split in October last year, with sources close to them blaming conflicting commitments.

‘Brooklyn is so young with his whole life ahead of him, he basically just didn’t need the agro,’ they said. ‘He was besotted with her at first, but as time wore on Chloë wanted to become more serious and given he lives on the other side of the Atlantic, it was something he couldn’t offer.’

Despite being linked to singer Madison Beer recently, it seems that Brooklyn and Chloë might be giving things another go.

The eldest of the Beckham brood posted a picture to Instagram following his first week at college, and Chloë commented on the picture with a single heart emoji.

A post shared by bb (@brooklynbeckham) on

The move sent fans into a frenzy claiming that she was professing her love for Brooklyn, and even suggesting that she is one of the shadows in the picture.

Brooklyn has recently been posting pictures of an unidentified girl – and fans are convinced that they are cryptic snaps of the blonde A-lister.

Can’t wait till may 📕

A post shared by bb (@brooklynbeckham) on

Brooklyn and Chloë were spotted leaving LAX International airport hand-in-hand back in June, sparking rumours that they were back together and keeping their relationship under wraps for now.

Considering how adorable these two are together, we’re going to cross our fingers and toes that they’re giving things a second shot.

The post Did Chloë Moretz just hint that she has rekindled her relationship with Brooklyn Beckham? appeared first on Marie Claire.

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

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Jessica Shears continues to prove relationship with Dom Lever is for keeps as she wears Jess 4 Dom

THEY may have faced a few obstacles in their relationship so far but Jessica Shears and Dom Lever looked stronger than ever as they arrived at the airport today.

And Jess is such a big fan of the way things are going she opted to wear a denim jacket with Jess 4 Dom emblazoned across the back of it.

Jessica Shears made her feelings about her relationship very clear
BackGrid
The couple looked more loved up than ever
BackGrid

The Love Island couple, who were rocked by reports of Jess sleeping with Muggy Mike, were seen strolling hand in hand at Manchester airport, giggling away as they went.

Looking laid back for the flight, Jess wore a pair of black leggings, with pink boots and the oversized denim jacket.

Dom meanwhile opted for black jeans and a plaid shirt, while he pushed their suitcase along.

The couple have recently returned from Prague were Jessica underwent her second boob job.

She decided to have the surgery after admitting she was unhappy with her first breast augmentation because she thought it had left her with ‘weird’ boobs.

Jess told OK! Magazine:”Yes, I had my boobs done when I was 20 or 21, but I didn’t make a very well-advised decision about them.

Jessica has just returned from Prague where she had a boob job
Getty – Contributor

“They didn’t turn out great and I suffered a lot of side effects. I’ve been looking at getting them reduced.”

Jessica added that she had already found a surgeon to carry out the procedure, after her ‘120cc’ implants turned out to be too heavy for her skin.


She added: “I’ve got rippling and what they call bottoming out, which is when the implant is too heavy for the skin.

“They’re way too big. I shouldn’t have got that big on an implant over the muscle at such a young age.”

Love Island's Jessica Shears and Dominic lever reveal they are in love and moving in together

Following the surgery, Jessica admitted she was in a lot of pain but told fans: “So glad to have @_DomLever by my side while I recover ??.”

She added: “Still in a lot of pain but on my way back to the UK ✈️?? @W1Wellness have looked after me this week. Wouldn’t have gone with anyone else ❤️”


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Inside President Trump’s Relationship with Eldest Son and ‘High-Quality Person’ Donald Jr. Amid Whispers of Treason

In the months since President Donald Trump took office, his eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., has become one of his father’s most vocal supporters — and Twitter defenders.

The president returned the favor on Tuesday and Wednesday, coming to his son’s defense after his namesake seemingly embroiled himself more deeply in the ongoing Russian collusion investigation by releasing emails detailing how he eagerly set up a meeting with a Kremlin-linked lawyer who allegedly promised damaging information on his father’s presidential rival, Hillary Clinton.

“My son is a high-quality person and I applaud his transparency,” the president said in a statement delivered by his principal deputy press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, at an off-camera press briefing Tuesday afternoon.

Trump followed up on Twitter early Wednesday, praising his son’s interview with Fox News’ Sean Hannity overnight. Trump Jr. admitted during the show that “in retrospect, I probably would have done things a little differently.”

“My son Donald did a good job last night. He was open, transparent and innocent This is the greatest Witch Hunt in political history. Sad!” Trump tweeted.

Trump Jr., 39, first emerged as one of father’s fiercest defenders during the presidential campaign — and before that worked side-by-side with his dad while running the family business — but the pair haven’t always been as close are they are today.

As a preteen, Trump Jr.’s relationship with his father was fraught following Trump’s separation from his first wife, Ivana Trump, the mother of eldest children Donald Jr., Ivanka and Eric.

Trump Jr. was 12 at the time and didn’t speak to his father for a year after the highly publicized split, New York magazine reported in a 2004 article about the Trump children.

Trump Jr. told the magazine that at the time he blamed the divorce on his father, who had been having an affair with model Marla Maples. But he added that in retrospect he may have been “manipulated” into that belief by his mother.

“Listen, it’s tough to be a 12-year-old. You’re not quite a man, but you think you are. You think you know everything. Being driven into school every day and you see the front page and it’s divorce! THE BEST SEX I EVER HAD! And you don’t even know what that means,” he said, referencing the heavy gossip-column coverage of his parents’ split, some of which was encouraged by his father.

After his parents’ divorce, Trump Jr. and his brother Eric were shipped off to boarding school, the Hill School in Pottstown, Pennsylvania, to remove them from the New York society scene, according to Vanity Fair.

At school, Trump Jr. practiced skeet shooting, and — unlike his father — seemed to enjoy life outside the spotlight.

“When I went to boarding school, it all kind of went away — all those inconveniences that I found intrusive,” he told New York in 2004.

Trump Jr. also told The New York Times in March that he decided early on not to measure himself against his father.

”I think people are often surprised, but I never defined myself as, ‘I’m the business guy who has to supersede what my father has done,’ ” he said. ”He’s a totally unique individual. Somehow having to top his accomplishments is never the way I perceived things.”

As a child, Trump Jr. found a role model not in his father but in his maternal grandfather, Milos Zelnicek, an electrician and avid outdoorsman. In the summers, Trump Jr. stayed at his grandparents’ home outside Prague for six to eight weeks at a time, where his grandfather taught him how to camp, fish, hunt and speak Czech, the Times reported.

”He needed a father figure,” Ivana told the newspaper in a telephone interview. ”Donald was not around that much. They would have to go to his office to say hello to him before going to school.” (Ivana also once hinted at her ex-husband’s alleged barely-there parenting by saying: “When turned 21, I handed them over to him and said, ‘Here’s the finished product.’ “)

RELATED VIDEO: Donald Trump Jr. Changes Account of Russian Lawyer Meeting

Trump Jr. went on to attend father’s alma mater, the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, where he was by all accounts (including his own) a big partier who “had a reputation” for getting into “drunken, ‘do-you-have-any-idea-who-I-am?’ fights,” according to New York.

Vanity Fair reported that Scott Melker, a Penn classmate, wrote on Facebook, “Donald Jr. was a drunk in college. Every memory I have of him is of him stumbling around on campus falling over or passing out in public, with his arm in a sling from injuring himself while drinking. He absolutely despised his father, and hated the attention that his last name afforded him.”

Melker also described an alleged incident in which Trump showed up to his son’s dorm room to take him to a Yankees game. Trump Jr. was dressed in a Yankees jersey and when he opened the door to his father, “without saying a word, his father slapped him across the face, knocking him to the floor in front of all of his classmates. He simply said, ‘Put on a suit and meet me outside,’ and closed the door.” A spokesperson for the Trump family told Vanity Fair this story is “completely false.”

After graduating, Trump Jr. initially declined to join the family business, instead moving to Aspen, Colorado, where he hunted, fished, camped, lived out of the back of a truck, and bartended, according to Vanity Fair — which also reported that Trump Jr. stopped talking to his father during this time.

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Several months later, on Feb. 25, 2001, Trump Jr. was arrested for public drunkenness during a Mardi Gras celebration in New Orleans. He spent 11 hours in jail.

Like his teetotaler father, Trump Jr. no longer drinks. But he attributes this not to inspiration from his father but rather to the discipline of the sporting life. ”I know that the benefits I got from being in the woods, from being in a duck blind, from being in a tree stand at 5 o’clock in the morning, kept me out of so much other trouble I would have gotten into in my life,” Trump Jr. said in a speech at a 2016 fundraiser.

After returning from Aspen in 2001, Trump Jr. went to work at the Trump Organization, where he climbed the ranks to executive vice president. During his first big project, the Trump Park Avenue, he clashed with his father on the decor (the elder Trump insisted on gold doorknobs), The Washington Post reported. After the project was completed, Trump Jr. jokingly asked his father to put “Trump Junior” on the facade, but his father refused.

In 2003, Trump introduced his son to his future wife, former model Vanessa Haydon, at a fashion show. Trump proposed with a ring from the Bailey, Banks & Biddle jewelry store in Short Hills, New Jersey, in exchange for publicity, and was later mocked in the New York Post, which ran the story with the headline: ”Trump Jr. Is the Cheapest Gazillionaire: Heirhead Proposes With Free 100G Ring.” (The couple went on to have five children, now between the ages of 10 and 3.)

According to Vanity Fair, Trump also publicly criticized his son at the time, saying on CNN’s Larry King Live: ”You have a name that is hot as a pistol, you have to be very careful with things like this.”

Despite their sometimes-rocky relationship, Trump Jr. has been nothing but supportive since his father launched his presidential bid, joining him on the campaign trail and using Twitter to lash out at his father’s many critics.

Trump Jr.’s interest in hunting and close friendships with gun enthusiasts and people who enjoy the outdoors — so foreign from the New York elite world his father long operated in — have endeared him to some conservatives and to his father’s Middle America supporters while also riling animal rights activists who criticized his big game hunting trips in Africa.

After delivering a rousing speech at the Republican National Convention in July 2016, he was embraced as a rising Republican political star and applauded for his poise and focus — qualities not usually attributed to his father.

Though it may not seem like it based on his politics-focused Twitter activity, Trump Jr. maintains that his focus these days is on running the Trump Organization. He has claimed several times that he has barely spoken to his father since he took office in January.

In March, amid criticism that his father had not sufficiently removed himself from his businesses, Trump Jr. said at a GOP fundraiser that he’d had virtually ”zero contact” with the president since the election. He insisted to The New York Times later that month, ”I haven’t spoken to him. Maybe just to say hello. It feels trite. I feel ridiculous bothering him.”

Critics were quick to point out that Trump Jr. had recently joined his father for his announcement of Supreme Court nominee Judge Neil M. Gorsuch in late January.

“Where is the break point?” Trump Jr. said when asked about this by the Times. ”If I see him once a month, is that too much? Once a year? My point is, it’s a no-win scenario. But, in the end, we both fully recognize that what he is doing now is far more important than absolutely anything going on in the business. And we will conduct ourselves accordingly.”

Now, Trump Jr. has a much bigger issue to worry about as he faces widespread criticism, allegations of treason and potential legal troubles over his June 2016 meeting with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya. There’s a growing call for Trump Jr. to testify before the Senate Intelligence Committee about his email exchange on the meeting, which he said he’d be “happy” to do.

The fallout from the revelation that Trump Jr. met with the Russian lawyer (who has since denied any alleged ties to the Russian government) has prompted critics to say that the businessman has never seemed more like his father’s son.

A Vox article on Trump Jr.’s Russia email controversy proclaims: “Donald Trump Jr. is the embodiment of all of his father’s weaknesses — and now he may well bring down his father’s administration.”


PEOPLE.com

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The 8 Biggest Relationship Killers, According To Divorce Attorneys

Divorce attorneys have a front-row seat to the kinds of problems that can chip away at relationships. Every day in their offices, they get an earful from clients about what led to divorce. 

What are some of the most common complaints they hear? Below, divorce lawyers from around the country share nine of the most prevalent marital issues. 

1. My spouse rarely helps out with the kids.

“When I first meet with people during the consultation, I often hear that the husband or wife doesn’t feel like they have an equal partner in their marriage, especially when it comes to the responsibility of caring for their children. It takes time and energy to manage a family’s extracurricular activities, doctor’s appointments and social activities. Whenever someone feels their spouse is not pulling their weight, resentment will build. When it involves children, though, it becomes much more complicated. When they are in my office, I know they have tried everything and asked their spouse to step up and help, but they have not been successful. Filing for divorce is the only way they believe they will get some reprieve from it.” — Puja A. Sachdev, an attorney in San Diego, California 

2. We never talk about our problems. 

“It’s nothing that either spouse says ― it’s what they don’t say. Problems crop up and no one wants to rock the boat. So no one deals with the problem. No one talks about it. But then it doesn’t go away. It goes underground, then another problem crops up. This time, dealing with it is even harder because both parties still hold resentment from the first problem they never dealt with. So they push the second problem under the rug. Then the third. And so on. At some point, they explode over something that seems stupid and silly. Ultimately, they’re arguing about the  ongoing, unspoken problems they have.” ― Karen Covy, an attorney and divorce coach based in Chicago, Illinois 

3. Our sex life fizzled out, and so did any intimacy.

“Honestly, I can go on and on, but those are two big complaints I hear. What it boils down to is life has gotten in the way and there is no longer a connection between spouses. Even more than sex, it has to do with a lack of communication and lack of intimacy. What couples fail to realize is that the work of the relationship does not end at ‘I do’ ― there is work to be done every day. I know it sounds trite but it is important to connect with and check in with your spouse on a daily basis whether you are sharing a meal or walking the dog.” ― Lisa Helfend Meyer, an attorney in Los Angeles, California

4. My spouse reconnected with an old flame on Facebook. 

“I have recently had clients inform me that their spouses were becoming ‘addicted’ to social media; more importantly, the social media ‘addiction’ was merely a symptom of an age-old problem ― cheating. Their spouse clicked the ‘like’ button on someone’s Facebook post and it escalated into sexual chats, texting and ultimately, face-to-face meetings where the flame was rekindled. It’s likely that the person would have sought out some way to cheat even without social media. So the social media ‘addiction’ was merely a symptom of the ultimate issue: infidelity. Some couples can work through the issue of infidelity, but most cannot ― and that’s what leads them to my office.” ― Douglas Kepanis, an attorney in New York City  

5. We feel more like roommates than spouses. 

“People often say that their spouse feels like a stranger, not the person they married. Clients often describe themselves as ‘roommates’ and say they spend little time interacting with their spouse. More commonly, they say that their spouse has ‘checked out.’” ―  Carla Schiff Donnelly, an attorney in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

6. My spouse is selfish. 

“Selfishness manifests itself in different ways: stingy with money, unwilling to listen and be emotionally present, not sharing responsibility for chores and the kids, having an affair instead of trying to work it out or splitting with respect, not being aware of the other’s needs and wants. The exact form of selfishness varies from case to case, but the theme is always there in divorce cases.” ― Alison Patton, a San Diego-based divorce attorney and mediator 

7. We speak different love languages. 

“Two people may love each other, but not ‘feel loved’ if they have a different love language. That means, if one spouse’s ‘language of love’ is to do helpful things or buy gifts, and the other’s love language is verbal affirmations, loving touch, or quality time together, the receiver doesn’t really feel love, and the giver doesn’t feel appreciated for the love they’re giving. When that happens, there isn’t enough credit in the love bank for them to get through the challenges that come with any relationship. They’re fighting over money or sex, when underneath that is the need for simple physical connection or quality time. Find out your love language: It might just keep you out of a divorce lawyer’s office.” ― Dennis A. Cohen, an attorney and mediator in Marina del Rey, California 

8. I feel taken for granted. 

“This complaint makes sense. When courting each other, there’s often a lot of flattery and extra attention spent listening to and pleasing your mate. But once the deal is done, once the relationship is sealed with vows, many feel safe and worry less that their partner is happy. Many people who hire me tell me they’ve been unhappy for years, that they’ve waited and waited for things to improve before they finally hit their limit. Rarely do I encounter a couple getting divorced because of a sudden or one-time event such as a one-night stand or one ugly argument. With so much invested in a marriage, it often takes quite a lot for someone to get to the point of no return. But when they get there, it is often because they finally realize they would be happier unmarried to that person ― or as someone once told me, less miserable.”— Randall M. Kessler, an attorney in Atlanta, Georgia

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Amber Heard and Elon Musk Step Out in L.A.: ‘It’s Definitely Not a Casual Relationship,’ Says Source

After spending some family time with Elon Musk in his native Australia, Amber Heard and the tech mogul were spotted together back in Los Angeles over the weekend.

The couple, who had spent time together Down Under last month while Heard, 31, filmed Aquaman, had lunch at Sweet Butter in Los Angeles on Friday. “They were very casual and dined in,” an onlooker tells PEOPLE. “Elon had his arm around Amber as they waited in line.”

The eyewitness adds, “They ordered at the counter and sat down outside to wait for their salads. Elon paid and was pretty chatty. It was his first time at the restaurant so he asked questions about the menu. They were both very friendly and seemed happy.”

Dating rumors began swirling last year when Heard and Musk, 45, were spotted out together several times amid their respective divorces — Heard’s contentious divorce from Johnny Depp was finalized in January, and Musk filed for divorce from his second wife, Westworld actress Talulah Riley, in January 2015.

From Coinage: See Where 6 Stars Were Before They Were Famous

“They are getting more serious,” says a source close to the couple. “It’s definitely not a casual relationship. That’s not Elon. He doesn’t do anything casually.”

The source confirms that the Tesla founder “isn’t dating anyone else” and “is still very fascinated by Amber and loves her company. He seems very happy with her. She is spending a lot of time with his kids.”

While working in Australia, Heard spent a day sightseeing with Musk’s five sons. The actress shared a few snaps from the day out, showing the group goofing off together at the Sydney Opera House. Musk’s sons — Damian, Kai, Saxon, Xavier, Griffin — are from his marriage to his first wife, Justine. (The couple had another son, Nevada, who died at 10 weeks.)

The billionaire also shared photos from the day on his own Instagram account. In one snap, Musk is seen with his arm around Heard as one of his sons shows the couple something on his phone.


PEOPLE.com

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This Tweet About Pet Names Could Change Your Relationship For The Better

Most couples come up with pet names for each other fairly early into a relationship: Baby, babe, boo, sweetheart ― we all have our faves.

While those are all classics, there’s nothing wrong with switching things up every now and then. Last week, Twitter user @cybersygh suggested doing just that and it really caught on: 

Things escalated quickly after that, when Bela Garces (@djbbga on Twitter) showed the tweet to her boyfriend Isaac and posted his reaction:

Isaac loved the idea:

He got a little carried away but it was adorable:

Garces’ hilarious tweet quickly went viral, with over 87K reshares and 241K “likes.”

The 19-year-old told The Huffington Post she couldn’t stop laughing at the nicknames and that Isaac hasn’t stopped since. 

“It just makes me laugh every time, it’s so silly,” she said. “He calls me food names in person too, and I try to call him food names back but he’s a lot funnier. My favorite is when he calls me Colombian snacks since we’re both Colombian!”

Here are the two adorable soft tacos together, with one of their favorite foods:

After Garces’ tweet went viral, people kept the momentum going, sharing the food-related terms of endearment they’d texted their girlfriends and boyfriends:

Does it get any more romantic than “you’re more than a snack, you’re a meal?” Nope, not as far as we’re concerned.

Share your favorite snack-related pet name in the comments. 

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Kendall Jenner Befriends Paris Jackson: How the Hollywood Stars Developed a Relationship in Private

Kendall Jenner, Paris JacksonKeeping up with Kendall Jenner or Paris Jackson is no easy task.
Whether posing in world-famous magazines or traveling the world for once in a lifetime opportunities, both young ladies…

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We Tested Lifetime’s Britney Ever After Stars’ Knowledge of Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake’s Iconic Relationship

Britney Ever After, Britney Spears, Justin TimberlakeFrom the Mickey Mouse Club to TRL to those infamous denim outfits, Britney Ever After is letting us relive Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake’s iconic relationship all over again….

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This Is What Every Introvert Craves In A Relationship

This post was brought to you by Thought Catalog and Quote Catalog.

By Bianca Sparacino

We crave your time. We crave you in the quiet of a Sunday afternoon, in the thunder of a Thursday storm. We don’t need much, just bring us your heart, pinned to your sleeve. Just bring us your mind, cupped within your palms. Bring us your closeness, your unhinged ribcage, your dreams and your aspirations. Bring us the key to the world you hold within you, and we will explore it. We will always explore it.

We crave your understanding. We crave the ability to be who we are — the over thinking, daydreaming, messy hearted human beings who have the loudest worlds tucked beneath their skin. We crave acceptance — your arms around us when we need to leave the party, a smile on your face as we walk towards the exit, a nudge that says “It’s okay to be drained. It’s okay.”

We crave your patience. We crave time — time to figure out the feelings that jump and leap and shout inside us. We tread so deeply, we sometimes drown. Love overstimulates us, it plants seeds in our lungs and sometimes it gets hard to breathe. We crave permission to pluck the weeds from within our chests, we crave permission to learn how to wade in our depths, until we know how to swim. We crave your confidence in us, in our ability to dig up what we want to express to you. Because we do care, we do; we just want to be sure of ourselves, we just want to be sure of our heart, before we allow someone to make a home within us.

We crave your distance. We crave room to stretch our limbs, soft moments where nothing is expected of us. This is how we connect with our softness, this is how we connect with our quiet. When this happens, we crave the ability to be alone without hurting you — without causing you to retreat into your mind; without making you believe that you did something wrong or that we have lost interest. Trust me — if we love you, we love you, but we crave your compassion, your empathy, because moments alone with our hopes and our dreams are just as important as the moments we spend with you. They are our strength. They are our comfort, our fuel, our paradise.

But most of all, we crave your knowledge of us. We crave the way you see the small things we do as declarations of our love. See, when we do extroverted things with you, when we come out with you and dance with you and laugh out loud with you, we want you to know what that means. How we love seeing you happy. How it makes it all worth it, even if it makes us weary.

And when we invite you into our heads, when we show you our favourite dog-eared books or cry in front of you while watching our favourite movie, when we share with you these extensions of who we are, and what shaped the very foundation of our souls, we want you to know what that means. How hard that is for us. How we try for you. How we will always try for you.

For more writing like this, read Bianca’s book: Seeds Planted in Concrete.

Read the best quotes on the web.

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5 Ways Mindfulness Can Put The Spark Back In Your Relationship

Think of your marriage like a bank account: pay into it often with acts of kindness and generosity and it’ll help your relationship no end. High50 wellbeing coach Alex Blossom explains how.

Relationship problems come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it might feel as though the spark has gone. It might be that you are going through a stage where you feel irritable and frustrated or you could be feeling neglected or hurt in some way.

Whatever the problem, mindfulness can help you to get through the most tricky of times. These five mindful relationship fixes will help you get back on track.

1. Learn To Listen

Really taking time to listen to your partner can make all the difference. Take time to be genuinely interested in what they have to say. It is so easy to get caught up in our own little world, we can become consumed by our own thoughts and feelings.

When we learn to listen we find out things that we didn’t know, even when we have been together for a long time. By turning our attention outwards, we clear a little bit of head space and make some room for our partner.

2. Just Be

It is so easy to slip into trying to change our partners, wishing that they were different. We can hear ourselves nagging: we don’t want to do it, but sometimes holding our tongue can seem impossible.

Before you jump in and criticize your partner always, take a few deep breaths. Really think about what you will achieve by making a comment. When you next sit down for a meal together try listing five things that you love about each other.

The conversation this creates will get you thinking and feeling more positively.

3. Feel

Touch is a really important sensation, but so often we lose the closeness that we had in the early days of our relationship.

Rather than cuddling up to each other we become protective of our space, bickering over sides of the bed. Rather than taking time to kiss each other when we say goodbye in the morning our minds are perhaps already at work dealing with a situation.

So take the time to really feel next time you and your partner have physical contact. Notice the sensation of warmth and contact and enjoy the closeness, even if only for a moment.

4. Be Compassionate

If your partner is going through a tough time then put yourself in their shoes. Imagine how things are for them. Think about what you would want in their situation: it will make a huge difference.

When you learn to look at things from their perspective you can gain a real understanding of their behavior. When you get to grips with what is going on for your partner everything will seem easier. So many relationship problems stem from a lack of understanding.

5. Invest

Think of your relationship like a bank account. Making withdrawals all the time will leave you in deficit and things can start to look bleak. Paying in more often with acts of kindness and generosity will leave you feeling positive and secure.

Giving to your partner really can make you happy. While your attention is on seeking out an opportunity for kindness it is not consumed by worrying thoughts. You will be free to get on and enjoy life.

Alex Blossom offers mindfulness and wellbeing coaching through private sessions and day retreats. Revitalisedays.co.uk

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Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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5 Things to Do Today to Save Your Relationship

The decline of a relationship is an awful thing to experience. More often than not, the process starts slowly, and we hardly notice little ways we may be pulling back or growing apart. Eventually, negative dynamics start to evolve, then persist for so long that we have trouble knowing where to start when it comes to repairing the relationship.

When thinking about where things went wrong, it’s important to recognize that a lot of what we do to ruin our relationships has to do with us. Much of how we act is based on programming from our past and defenses we’ve built that cause us to overreact, distort or even provoke the people we feel closest to. Because the only person we can control or change in a relationship is ourselves, it’s almost always worth it to do what we can to develop ourselves before we throw in the towel with our partner.

When things get complicated with someone we love, sometimes the best thing to do is go back to the basics and keep things simple. We can start by setting aside that giant case we’ve long built against our partner and starting fresh with simple acts of kindness, affection and love. This doesn’t mean living in a fantasy or avoiding dealing with real issues, but it’s a means of reconnecting with warm, loving feelings we may have cast aside. It’s a quest to reignite what worked about the relationship, so we and our partner are on the same team and in a better place when it comes to dealing with problems. Here are five things that can help any couple turn this important corner.

1. Express love in a way your partner would experience as loving
This may not sound like a very specific or especially scientific suggestion, but so often we forget to attune to our partner and do the things we know make them feel loved. Particularly when there’s tension in the relationship, we tend to focus on what we’re getting (or not getting) over what we’re giving. We build a case against our partner, and as a defense, we withhold our affections and resist being open and vulnerable.

The more distance created, the more ready we are to feel critical or put our guard up. We start to live more inwardly, getting in our own heads, quantifying, judging or indulging in a tit-for-tat mentality about what our partner does and doesn’t do for us. The truth is, it feels really good to be loving. Studies even show that people get more pleasure from giving than receiving. It’s important to pay attention to our partner and engage in kind actions that he or she would perceive as being cared for. For instance, getting flowers or going out to dinner may feel like romantic gestures to us, but to our partner, they may prefer taking some time to joke around or be affectionate. Try to offer something that you know will have unique value to them. Engaging in such loving acts actually makes us feel more in love.

2. Be affectionate
Most couples wonder how they went from not being able to keep their hands off each other to rarely making physical contact. Unfortunately, society tends to justify this pattern, reinforcing the idea that long-term couples are unsuitable for “puppy love” or PDA. Yet, this elimination of affection is a sad and slow progression that often starts when a couple transitions from being a “you” and a “me” to becoming a “we.” Of course, finding a connection with someone is thrilling and meaningful, but losing yourself and your separate identity in the mix is paving a dangerous road. People feel most attracted to their partner when they see them as someone separate from themselves, someone they are able to love, respect and appreciate for their unique qualities.

When couples replace substance (real acts of love) with form (the practical roles of being in a relationship), they enter into a “fantasy bond.” This bond represents an illusion of connection that actually kills off passion and attraction. We can keep the spark alive by refusing to give up our own, natural desire to express love on a physical level. Hold hands, kiss in public, sit close on the couch, touch casually in passing, and you’ll be surprised to see the depths of desire and feelings of intimacy that arise.

3. Slow down
We hear these two words all the time, but we rarely live by them. For most of us slowing down means plopping on the couch or zoning out to the TV the minute our chaotic to-do list is done. No matter how hectic our schedule, there are ways to take pause within our own minds and reconnect with ourselves throughout the day. Mindfulness provides a way of checking in with ourselves, which is one of interpersonal neurobiology expert Dr. Daniel Siegel‘s essential aspects on his “healthy mind platter.”

Mindfulness allows us to breathe and be present in the moment. In these times of reconnection, we are not only more in touch with ourselves, but we are better able to recognize and be attuned to our partner. We are more mindful of our actions toward them. We are also more aware of our feelings of desire and attraction.

When we are more present, we can make an effort to really connect, communicate and make eye contact. Again, this may feel like a no-brainer, but in truth, looking each other in the eye is one of the things we forget to do on a daily basis. Just looking at our partner and really seeing him or her as a whole person, separate from ourselves, can further rekindle our empathy, interest and attraction.

4. Try something old
As a relationship advances, it becomes all too easy to make excuses not to make time for each other. When we do get together, we may do things out of a sense of form or obligation. Relationships tend to start fizzling out when we stop sharing the lively things we used to share with our partner. Moreover, once things start to fizzle out, we become even less inclined to share these activities. The cycle that’s created forces more and more distance between partners. We can challenge this by making a commitment to take part in activities we and our partner used to share and enjoy together. If we used to go on walks, we shouldn’t let a long workday dissuade us from getting outside. Participating in activities that light us up or that light our partner up helps us stay close with our partner, while feeling the most ourselves.

5. Try something new
When people first get together, they often grow each other’s worlds, introducing each other to new people, places, interests and activities. When we fall in love, we are in a state in which we feel the most open and alive. As our relationship progresses, and the more we replace real love with a fantasy bond, the more we tend to resist anything new. Especially as we get older, we can become more self-protective or further drawn to routine. We may start to feel more entitled to our partner or more jealous or possessive and, therefore, put restrictions on each other. In effect, we start to limit or shrink each other’s worlds, rather than expanding them. We can keep love alive by continuing to be game to try new things. The more adventures we can create with each other in our day-to-day lives, the more awake we will feel to everything we experience, particularly intimacy and closeness.

In almost every relationship, there comes a time when we are challenged to the point of questioning whether to walk away. In fact when I interviewed my friend Jim Gilligan, who has been married to his wife Carol for almost 50 years, he said “you are not really married until you realize you can leave, and you don’t.” I encourage every couple I meet who has ever felt truly happy and alive with each other, who once felt like the best version of themselves, while being in the relationship, to stick in there and try to develop themselves. Otherwise, they are very likely to repeat the same patterns in yet another situation, perhaps one that isn’t even as meaningful or rewarding.

Relationships are a great place to work on ourselves. There is no harm in trying each of the above steps, as you truly have nothing to lose. The worst case scenario is that you will have grown your own capacity to be loving, vulnerable, passionate and lively. The best case scenario is that you and your partner will grow closer and rekindle your loving feelings for each other.

Read more from Dr. Lisa Firestone at PsychAlive.org

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GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
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Customer Relationship Management Systems Handbook

Customer Relationship Management Systems Handbook


THE CUSTOMER TODAY Who is the Customer? A Shifting Paradigm A New Look For Marketing Customer Feedback Managing Relationships: The CRM Solution The Stages of a CRM Strategy THE EVOLUTION OF CUSTOMER RELATIONS TO CRM Planning Strategies for Managing Customer Information The CRM Planning Phase CRM Strategy: From Planning to Development A Twelve-Stage CRM Strategy Applying the CRM Strategy CRM Issues, Tactics, and Methodologies Two-Way Dialog: Customer Input to CRM Testing and Evaluating CRM Solutions Managing the CRM Program CRM Analytics in Data Mining CRM: Summing Up the Business Value THE TECHNOLOGY OF CRM An Overview of the Data Warehouse Design and Construction of a Data Warehouse Data Marts in the Real World Avoiding the Pitfalls of Data Warehousing The Data Warehouse Development Process The Operational Data Warehouse Data Warehousing Computer Platforms Data Warehousing and CRM: Managing the Project Data Warehouse Development: One Vendor’s Methodology Elements of Database Technology The Business Tools: Analytical CRM Data Warehousing Architectures: Options Implementing the Enterprise Data Warehouse Decision Support Systems and Data Warehousing Database Management Systems From Data Warehousing to Data Mining Data Consistency and Quality Managerial and Organizational Impacts of Data Warehousing Vendors with CRM Technology Conclusion CASE STUDIES IN CRM Automotive Communications Energy Entertainment Financial Institutions Fund-Raising Healthcare Insurance Investment Packaging Recruiting and Training Retail Technology Transportation and Travel Wholesale Analyzing Case Studies for Maximum Benefit PRIVACY IN CRM Data Privacy Government Initiatives CRM: Opportunities to Address Privacy Concerns P3P Standard and Definitions Industry Support for Privacy Initiatives Protecting Personal Privacy in CRM BENEFITS OF CRM Benefits of CRM by Business Sector The General Value of CRM Determining the ROI for a CRM Solution The Ultimate Benefits of CRM Appendix A: Glossary of CRM and Data Warehouse Terminology Appendix B: References and Bibliography Index
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Want a Lasting Relationship? Embrace This One Agreement

The other night I had dinner with a friend and she asked me about the agreements my husband and I had made when we decided our relationship would be different from anything either of us had ever had before.

Listening to her question, I was suddenly silent but then I remembered.

It was shortly after he and I had confessed our love to one another and were discussing our future.

“If we’re going to be together it has to be totally different from anything we’ve ever had before,” I’d offered. “So many relationships end up being about power or control and I don’t want that anymore.”

He’d agreed and added, “Most relationships are based on conditional love, too. The ‘you only love me because.’ Those end up being about tearing each other down.”

“Can’t there be another way? Another kind of relationship that lifts both people up?”

“Yeah,” he replied, “but it has to be about God first and about honoring the God within each other.”

Instantly I knew he was right. “That’s it!”

So what exactly is that, honoring the God within each other?

A simple way to think about it is the Hindi greeting, Namaste, commonly used across India but also often spoken amongst yoga practitioners. Translated it means the divinity in me recognizes the divinity in you.

Honoring the God in one another is about appealing to the higher self in all of us, the one yearning to be seen, heard and acknowledged. It’s about me rising into this space within myself and then seeing it in my partner and speaking to this aspect of him or her.

This kind of commitment is a relationship based on mutual love and respect.

It’s wanting your partner to live her passion, and encouraging her to take leaps and risks when they feed her and move her toward fulfilling her dreams and happiness. It’s giving your partner space to grow and evolve even if it means they leave you or aren’t always there for you.

This actually recently played out in my intimate relationship.

In 2004, my husband and I started a business together. After working side by side for nearly a decade, I was ready to move on. I knew it was time for me to shift careers yet I felt bad about leaving him to run the business on his own.

He could have easily fed that guilty place in me and said things to trigger it. Then I would have stayed because I love him and because I felt obligated since we’d started the business together.

Instead, he encouraged me to leave.

He was excited about what I was doing and the new direction my life was taking. It meant his life got harder initially, because it took time to fill the void I left. But he never wavered in his support of my new venture.

Now, he’s happier than ever and so am I. My shift allowed him to step more fully into roles that he had shied away from too.

He chose to remember our agreement of honoring the higher self in each of us, the God. He gave me both the room and the encouragement to follow my new path.

Change isn’t always easy, especially in our intimate relationships. It causes us to shift too as we make room for the other person to unfold. Yet when we choose to honor each other and celebrate who we are, not only is it more fulfilling but energizing too.

Positive change brings new opportunities and enthusiasm, which can be contagious and inspiring. We all know how good it feels when we’re in our flow. We are more alive, more present and more connected. Isn’t that what we all want for ourselves and for our loved ones?

Shakti Sutriasa is the Founder of DecideDifferently.com, offering life coaching, counseling and workshops that combine modern psychology and spirituality. Shakti is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and has an MA in Education. To learn more Click Here

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GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

9 Signs You’re Finally in a Mature, Adult Relationship

This was originally published at www.elitedaily.com

Media dictates so much in today’s world — including relationships.

Whether portraying unrequited love, forbidden love or passionate love, the media’s ideas of love all have something in common: drama.

After all, drama drives the media.

But, guess what? When you’re in a dramatic relationship, this reality isn’t so appealing. Dramatic relationships are just plain sh*tty, and there’s nothing romantic or alluring about that.

Real relationships, to be quite honest, could almost be considered boring, and the media doesn’t value “boring.”

For years, I bought into the idea that a relationship needed some type of drama to be legitimized. As I’m settling down, I’m realizing how truly wrong and exhausting that mentality was.

For the first time in… well, ever, I’m in a healthy, mature relationship. It’s different than previous relationships I’ve had because this one is real. It is solid. It is stable. It is everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I didn’t know I needed.

It’s also everything I ran away from in the past because it just seemed too “boring.” Only now am I realizing that there is a difference between a boring relationship and a stable, mature one.

1. Being your significant other’s partner isn’t hard.

Until recently, I always struggled when I was in a relationship. Feelings of uncertainty and anxiety were overwhelmingly normal, while feeling secure in the relationship was not.

Maybe this is obvious, but it shouldn’t be the case. Being someone’s partner should come easily rather than feel like a chore or a responsibility.

2. You don’t have to be in contact 24/7.

Part of an adult relationship is realizing that each person has his or her own world, separate of one another. This means that being together all the time or constantly texting just isn’t feasible, and that is OK.

Actually, it’s even nice. I love my boyfriend, but if I talked to him constantly, I’d go crazy.

3. You don’t want to change your significant other.

I’ll admit that I have a history of seeking out broken people and trying to fix them, which never ends well. This isn’t the case in a healthy relationship.

In a healthy relationship, changing your partner shouldn’t even be a desire on your radar. Changing annoying little habits is one thing, but changing or fixing who someone is as a person should not be your goal. Maybe he or she isn’t perfect, but he or she shouldn’t have to be.

4. Your significant other balances you out — and even calls you out.

Rather than always agreeing on every aspect of life, your relationship tests and challenges your views. Your partner brings new views to light — possibly ideas that oppose your own.

When you don’t agree on a topic, it isn’t the end of the world. You acknowledge each other’s positions and move on.

5. Discussing the future isn’t scary.

In immature relationships, there is less certainty and less communication about the status of the relationship, therefore less willingness to discuss the future.

In an adult relationship, plans can be made months in advance without stopping to wonder where the relationship will or won’t be.

6. You may disagree, but you don’t all-out fight.

Observing how the other person argues and adjusting your own style is a learning process, but part of a mature relationship. For example, I tend to shut down when I am angry, whereas my boyfriend is more direct.

Adjusting to this was difficult at first, but now that we know each other’s style of disagreement, we are able to communicate in a more mature manner.

7. Showing your love becomes more important than verbally expressing it.

It used to irritate me that I am more vocal about telling my boyfriend I love him. He, on the other hand, doesn’t say it as often, but shows it in his actions.

Over time, I’ve realized that this is preferable to hearing it all the time. Sometimes love is in the day-to-day actions rather than the literal words, and this is definitely a more mature viewpoint.

8. Jealousy is a non-issue because the relationship is founded on trust.

In an adult relationship, the male can have female friends and vice-versa without the world coming to a screeching halt. Each partner is secure in the other’s commitment and does not possess an unfounded worry about cheating or dishonesty.

9. You’re in sync with one another — mentally and physically.

This may sound like it’s about sex, but it is not the case. It’s more about knowing a person so well and having developed such a connection that his or her smallest movement can be predicted — or sentences finished. It’s about him or her becoming an extension of you in a healthy way.

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Want a Great Relationship? Don’t Go to Bed Angry

The first time I got married, I was young, naïve and foolish. I didn’t genuinely understand what it meant to share a life with another person even though I was absolutely convinced I did. I also wanted to do my marriage differently than what I’d seen my parents do.

I’d witnessed the hostility, frustration and dysfunction first hand. Instead, I wanted a healthy, loving relationship. But because my mom, dad and stepdad were my role models, I ended up re-enacting what I’d experienced even when it was the last thing I’d planned.

Meanwhile, my heart craved something else entirely, something other than what I was creating. It longed for intimacy, love, connection, to feel understood. These sounded romantic and simple but eluded me.

What I had and what I wanted were miles apart only I pretended that wasn’t the case and acted as if everything was perfect. Until it all came apart.

Looking back I see that the main challenge, the thing that successfully unraveled my relationship, wasn’t one singular event. It was the opposite. It was the small, every day, ordinary moments that poked the holes.

What am I talking about?

Here’s a scenario:

It’s a Friday night and we’re watching a movie, one of those heart wrenching, soul mate tearjerkers. Naturally, I start crying. My husband rolls his eyes and snorts, implying that I’m pathetic.

I instantly feel hurt and reject him back, turning away from him in bed, holding my wounded-ness like a cloak around me.

I could have told him how I felt. Instead, I justified my silence with thoughts like: He doesn’t understand or care. Rationalizations that were probably untrue but re-enforced my pain and hurt.

These moments seemed trite and inconsequential when they occurred but added up over time, they eroded trust until one day, a decade later, I looked up and realized I was standing on the opposite bank of an emotional gulf from my partner.

How did that happen?

From all the little hurts — me nagging about the laundry, him disappointing me by working Saturdays, me criticizing him about a monthly gym membership he’d never use, him not getting me a card for my birthday… and on and on. We didn’t talk about these little upsets and chose to go to bed feeling hurt and angry.

Needless to say, our relationship splintered and I decided that I was done. Done with power and control masquerading as love. No more partners.

Instead, I’d take care of myself and my girls. I wasn’t ready for another relationship and I certainly didn’t want one that wasn’t really about love.

It was time for me to learn how to be loving which began with me learning how to love myself. I also had to understand how to make room for other people and that meant surrendering my need for control. And most importantly, giving up criticism.

It took awhile and frankly, I was skeptical that real love even existed.

Then I got surprised. Love came to me, as it usually does, when I least expected it.

This time my partner and I agreed to do things differently. Consequently, he and I talk about everything. We’re open about our feelings and even about how we want to be with each other. This led us to creating agreements that govern our relationship.

One of these is to not go to bed angry. I’ll admit that sometimes this is really hard to do. Especially when I feel hurt or wronged.

In those moments it’s hard to be emotionally vulnerable. It’s much easier to fall into blame or feel like a victim. But I value what we have together and I remember how going to bed angry whittled away my previous relationship.

I know it’s worth speaking up because then those little things won’t accumulate. They won’t slowly push me away emotionally so I stop opening up and sharing.

Instead, when I do finally speak my words of upset, those words of truth, the opposite occurs.

I feel even more seen, heard and loved. I am honored and taken care of because I choose to share my vulnerability instead of holding in the hurt.

It’s been 11 years and I can honestly say that my current husband and I are even closer today than we were all those years ago. A big reason why is because we consistently try to honor this agreement and not go to bed angry.

So the next time you feel hurt, disappointed or upset with your partner, try talking about it.

Tell him or her how you feel. See if your partner can understand your point of view and perhaps offer some insight into theirs. It may bring you to a new level of intimacy with one another and deepen the bond you have.

Shakti Sutriasa is the Founder of DecideDifferently.com, a personal development company offering life coaching, counseling and workshops. Her unique approach combines modern psychology and spirituality to support people seeking positive change and self-transformation. Shakti is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and has an MA in Education. Learn more at DecideDifferently.com

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My Call to Dr. Amy, Relationship Therapist

Hi, this is a message for Dr. Amy. I’m calling to possibly set up a session. Basically, I’m hoping to find myself happy and stable in a relationship, and your website says you’ve taken thousands of people from no relationship to relationship, so I thought maybe we should meet, as long as I’m in L.A for a bit. Also, I totally agree where you say we never see real change if we’re staying in our comfort zone. I’m always a little uncomfortable, so real change may be just a few minor discomforts away! Ha ha. Ok. My number is 917-444-4444. My name is Nora. Thanks.

***

Hi, Dr. Amy? You’re there! Did you get my message? Great! I called again to add just one more thing. but since I have you, can we talk for like 2 minutes? I have a question about one of the affirmations on your website.

The one where “I accept myself unconditionally, right now.” I tried it last night and it felt weird. Can I do it with you on the phone now, to make sure I’m doing it right?

Ok, good, I’m just going to do it now, ok? I’m going to accept myself unconditionally, right now.

Ok, right now. Ready?

Ok. Ready?

I accept myself unconditionally, right now.

How was that, was that right?

Ok, no, I’m just kidding, Dr. Amy. I know what unconditional means. I know there’s no right or wrong with that one. I’m just having a little fun. Do you think we could work together on the relationship thing?

Homework! Let me write this down.

What was my longest relationship?

What do I believe I’ll receive from my ideal relationship?

Can I clarify the question about my longest relationship? Because I know that a lot of couples stay together for years and don’t have sex, so I’ve definitely been in those kinds. We’d start off sort of dating, with some physical intimacy, and then we’d start hanging out every month or so on someone’s sofa watching TV. Sometimes with a sleepover, and maybe a little fooling around. And we text to say hi when someone’s on vacation or something.

That doesn’t count? What about when a guy comes over every few weeks, or months, and the sexual charge stays pretty strong for a few years?

No? What about guys I’ve hung out with regularly for months and slept with maybe once a week, ish, and we were nice to each other.

Ok, then what exactly do you mean by relationship?

Ok, what do you mean by boundaries?

Then it’s just one, 14 years ago.

Wait, two, if you count Carlton, in high school.

Oh: Scott. Percussionist. College.

Wait, four, Andy, at the bagel store I worked in.

Sure, I’d say they lasted about one year.

No, that’s the total time for all of those together if you add them up. But the longest contiguous one was the one from 14 years ago. We definitely had boundaries. Like, if one of us had to use the bathroom in the morning, the other would go out to get coffee or groceries. Even though the apartment had 2 full baths. But we had sex, it was stable, and went for like 4 months until the first breakup.

Absolutely, you can call me back. Ten minutes? Ok.

***

Hi, Dr. Amy? It’s Nora. It’s been about 15, so I thought I’d call. I’m thinking I won’t really need therapy. I just haven’t found the right guy yet.

Fine. Then it’s all emanating from me, I’m a slave to my subconscious fears, and there’s no point in working with you then, right? Just kidding. We should set up a session.

Biggest fear?

I have two, off the top of my head. The first is that the minute I say I want something, it’ll be taken from me. The second is that I’ll be bound to a man who doesn’t love me enough and who makes me feel lonely and empty every time we have sex.

You’re writing that down? Is that a diagnosis? No, don’t tell me.

Interesting. Maybe you’re right, maybe I’d do well with a long distance relationship. Or with, how’d you just put it, someone who doesn’t require a lot of my energy or attention?

But I want to live with someone, Dr. Amy. I bond quickly. I can’t even say goodbye to a girlfriend after dinner without feeling sad. And it always seems like just when I’m starting to relax, we have to say goodbye. But then sometimes it’s such a relief to be alone, so I can hear my own thoughts and not get all rattled with other peoples’ needs and quirks. But then, I really wanna be married, because I’ve always dreamed of having one of those passionate affairs with someone who’s also in a stable, comfortable marriage. Kidding again! Can I call you right back? I wanna check this text for a second, if it’s from Tony.

Ok, really quickly: I met him my first week in L.A. at a happy hour at the Parq Bar at the Montage Hotel.

Fair enough. A hotel bar in a city I don’t plan to live in for a long time is not the best bet for finding a long-term relationship. In my defense, I went for the free jazz, and Tony showed up for the happy hour fish tacos.

Yes, I had a therapist, about 15 years ago for a few years. It helped.

Yes, I agree. I’m making choices that are leaving me bereft and preventing me from achieving a gratifying, trusting, loving relationship.

Yes, I do want a real relationship before the end of my life.

Yes, I’m free tomorrow at 12 or 1, whichever is better for you.

Ok, let’s do 12. Thank you for your time. See you tomorrow.

***

Hi Dr. Amy, this is Nora again. Please call me when you get the chance. I just realized I’m not free tomorrow at 12 or 1. I’m getting a bikini wax. I’m overdue. We can reschedule for any other time this week. Thanks. It’s Nora.

***

Hello? Yes, this is Nora. Hi Greg, yes, I left Dr. Amy a message about rescheduling.

Friday at 2 is perfect. Can I just leave a message with you to give to her? It’s about Tony. Some background, so we don’t waste time in the session on Friday?

Sure, just the basics. Tony is 6’3.” He’s a strapping, Latino radiologist, in his early thirties.

Yes, well, he sounds yummy, Greg, because he’s yummy. That’s why I waited through 5 weeks of scattered text messages to make a date for dinner last Thursday.

Sushi.

On Beverly Drive, maybe? I can’t remember the name. But can you tell Dr. Amy that Tony paid for the sushi and the valet parking, and he also took me on the Julia Roberts walk on Rodeo Drive, and that it doesn’t matter to me that he doesn’t distinguish in text messages between y-o-u-r and y-o-u-apostrophe-r-e. And I’m not ashamed of the blowjob in my car in the garage below my apartment building. I haven’t given one in ages, it seemed good to break the spell.

Thank you for understanding.

Yes, he texted the next day, we made a plan for Sunday, yesterday, and then I woke up yesterday with a pot brownie hangover, and also I could suddenly see clearly all the things I want in life, because I don’t have any of them –

You think it’s the brownie? I got it at a dispensary on Melrose that gets good Yelp reviews. They also had peach pound cake.

Oh! Rice Krispee treats sound great. Maybe that would make a difference. So I texted Tony yesterday morning to see what time he’d be over, and then I called a few hours later, and when he didn’t return my text or voice mail, that led to some crying and feeling like I was falling into a bottomless upside down sky with no one around to hear me cry out, and that’s when I found Dr. Amy’s stuff online.

Thank you, Greg. You got all of that? Ok, thanks.

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Science Reveals The Laziest Way To Better Your Mood And Maybe Your Relationship

Some people consider daydreaming a waste of time, but a new study has found that daydreaming about your significant other can boost your mood. It might even strengthen your relationship.

Fantasizing about your partner can increase feelings of love and connection toward that person, according to the U.K. study recently published in the journal Consciousness and Cognition.

“We are often reminded of the benefits of being present and living ‘in the moment,'” Dr. Giulia Poerio, a psychologist at the University of Sheffield and the study’s lead author, told The Huffington Post. “Our study shows that daydreaming about close others might be an effective way to make yourself feel better by mentally simulating contact with loved ones when it is not available in reality,” she added.

The researchers randomly sent text messages throughout the day to 101 study participants — both women and men, with an average age of 22. They were asked what they were daydreaming about at that moment and how they felt before and after their reverie.

The study found that daydreams unrelated to the person’s significant other didn’t seem to have any effect on the person’s mood. But after daydreaming about their partners, participants who described their relationships as satisfying reported an elevated mood and a surge in feelings of love and connection. The better the relationship, the more enjoyment was derived from the daydreams.

Researchers concluded that daydreaming may serve as a temporary substitute for social interaction when we can’t be with our loved ones.

“Daydreaming about close others may be an effective strategy to overcome negative social feelings in daily life, such as when feeling lonely or when separated from loved ones,” Poerio said. “It’s well established that interactions with loved ones can increase feelings of well-being, but our results suggest that the emotional benefit of others can also occur from our imagination.”

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Marriage and Cancer: 10 Ways to Maintain Your Relationship After a Diagnosis

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Marriage is hard work. It requires a level of effort, dedication and commitment unparalleled to other relationships. One of the first pieces of marital wisdom I received from my parents was exactly that — “Marriage takes work. It’s not a stroll in the park.”

Marriage captures the ability of two people to rely on one another through both the good and bad times. It measures one’s character and integrity through the act of caring for another. As with any relationship, most marriages experience high peaks and low valleys. A diagnosis will bring out the best and worst of you and your partner. It has the potential to tear your relationship apart or bring you closer together more intimately than you could have imagined. As the saying goes, it’s not about what happens to you, it’s about how you respond. Upon receiving the news of a diagnosis, you must make the choice to not only fight the disease, but also fight for your relationship. Below are 10 ways to help your marriage after a diagnosis.

Commit: Above anything else, you must make the conscious decision to commit — both to your spouse and to the process. Commitment doesn’t automatically happen when you speak your vows. It is a choice that must be repeated over the course of your relationship. Your journey through cancer requires steadfastness and faithfulness to one another. You need to assume that life is going to get extremely bumpy and uncomfortable. Nearly everything you have encountered thus far has been butterflies, fairy dust, and roses and you’re about to endure some of the most difficult moments in your life. Both of you will be pulled in different directions and be influenced in many ways. When things get ugly, complications arise, and grief pours over you both, you need to hold tight to each other. Commit yourself to be there for one another no matter what happens.

Communicate: Continue to talk. Grief is expressed in a variety of ways and for some, it shows itself in silence. Though there will be times when you need to process on your own, don’t build a wall between you and your loved one. In an atmosphere of silence, assumptions are birthed and hurt will grow. Communicating can bring healing to your relationship. You will both experience different emotions from the moment you hear the news of the diagnosis, and being on the exact same emotional page will be a rarity. Keeping the lines of communication open will benefit your marriage by drawing you closer to one another and preventing hurt feelings in the future. It’s OK to express your fears and anxieties. And equally so, it’s OK to share your faith and hope. Be vulnerable and loving in your communication, and understand that talking things through will only benefit the bond you have with your spouse.

Prioritize: Life moves quickly upon receiving a diagnosis. Medical decisions will need to be made. You’ll need to find a team of doctors that you feel comfortable with. Treatment will be discussed, and you will need to choose which option is best for you. Eventually you’ll feel in over your head as the chaos circles around you. Keeping a list of priorities will help establish balance. Be aware of what tasks are at hand and stay on the same page as your spouse. Communicate what is most important to your relationship. Is it more important to preserve your fertility before beginning harsh treatments? Do you want to establish a medical banking account to manage expenses? Put yourselves first and be OK saying “no” to those around you. Your health and your marriage are number one.

Be flexible: Plans change… that’s life. When cancer rears it’s ugly head into your relationship, you need to start stretching. Many of your dreams, goals, and desires for your life and family will abruptly come to a halt. Keep a tight grip on your non-negotiables and let insignificant matters go. Change is difficult, but being flexible is more valuable than gold. Go with the flow. Some plans will fizzle and new dreams will come forth. Flexibility allows room for growth.

Stay on the same team: Cancer can bring out the worst in us. Anger is one of the most common emotions that patients and their families deal with. Remember that each of you process things differently, and that no way is better than the other. Allow each other space to grieve and be sympathetic towards one another. Remember that you are fighting cancer, not your loved one. Direct your anger towards the root of the issue, and don’t let your emotions erupt in an attack on your spouse. Though at times you’ll feel your partner doesn’t understand what you are going through, don’t alienate them and turn them into the enemy. You’re on the same team, and you each play a vital position. Work together at working through it.

Pursue: We’ve all heard that we should continue to date our spouse after our wedding day. Whether to keep things interesting or to continue to nurture the bond, pursuing each other is important to your relationship. This shouldn’t stop after a diagnosis. Though it will require a deeper level of intent, consistently seeking each other out will be rewarded. Make time for one another. Go out of your way to make your spouse feel special. Pursue your partner’s heart. Ask questions about how they are doing and be a good listener when they respond. Treatments and the subsequent side effects may get in the way of your typical dinner and a movie date night, but if you are creative you can cultivate new ways to deepen your bond. Remember that dates don’t have to be fancy or extravagant, and most likely won’t be for a while.

Be grateful: Have you ever met someone so full of gratitude that it made you reflect on what you’re thankful for? Having an attitude of gratitude in all circumstances will change your view of the most difficult times. Though you’ll have a large list of things you are angry, upset, and resentful over, make an effort to think of things that you are thankful for. Thanksgiving is one of the quickest ways to heal a hardened heart. Make a list. Whether in your mind or on paper, write down specific items you are grateful for. Be thankful for the details. Be thankful for all things big and little. Be thankful for the life and love you share with one another. An attitude of gratitude will transform your perspective and will strengthen your spirit throughout your battle.

Remain intimate: Intimacy isn’t always about sex. Though sex is one of the fundamental ways to be intimate with your partner, there are other means to stay connected. Unfortunately, cancer robs many people of their sexual function, yet marriages continue to blossom even without intercourse. When biology is thrown off, creativity is born. Adapting to your current situation will benefit you both. Be gentle with one another. Discover new ways to develop a more profound connection. Hold hands. Share secrets. Kiss. Being affectionate will remind your partner that you are invested in them. If you allow it, the intimacy in your relationship can reach new heights after a diagnosis. Vulnerability will welcome intimacy.

Remember your vows: Think back to the day you stood in front of your friends and family and made lifelong promises to your spouse. What did you say? More than likely, you vowed to stay by your partner in sickness and in health. While you probably had no idea that sickness meant cancer, you promised your partner you would not leave them when things got rough. You vowed to stand with each other no matter what. You vowed to love one another and cherish one another. There will be moments in your journey after your diagnosis that all you have left is the man or woman standing beside you. Think back to your wedding day. If you knew then what you know now, would your decision be different? True, authentic, raw love knows no bounds. You loved them then… love them now.
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The Link Between Age Compatibility And Relationship Success

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Life in the Boomer Lane has written numerous brilliant, profound, and downright side-splitting posts. But no matter how many seriously valuable topics she attempts to cover, from cats who want to kill you to big butts, there are three topics that remain permanently on her Biggest Hits List. They are:

1. The Universal Hot/Crazy Matrix: A Man’s Guide to Women
2. The Myth of older Men Wanting Younger Women
3. The Link Between Physical Attractiveness and Relationship Success

For this reason, she has decided to combine all three into one end-of-year post that will give readers a veritable climax of blog reading: We will discuss information about women that men can use, the older man/younger women dynamic, and what determines relationship success.

Every time she writes a post about older men and younger women, she receives a lot of well-considered responses from men, to the tune of “BLAH BLAH BLAH We don’t care what you write because REAL MEN only want young babes because they are hot and MY GIRLFRIEND/WIFE is 30 years YOUNGER than me and we have a deep and meaningful relationship in which we spend all of our time in bed, while she does acrobatic tricks and I try not to have a heart attack.”

OK, then. So the following is clearly not for you. You may bypass this post and go back to either your perfect relationship or searching for dates on postadolescentmatch.com. LBL will not attempt to prove that men prefer younger women. She concedes that, in a perfect fantasy world, most men probably do prefer younger women. She will, instead, show that actual relationship success is determined by partners being age-compatible.

Now, let’s get to it: A recent study by Emory University polled data compiled from 3000 married and recently divorced couples. Various indices were used to predict relationship success. One of them was the age gap between partners. A one-year discrepancy in a couple’s ages, the study found, makes them 3 percent more likely to divorce (when compared to their same-aged counterparts); a 5-year difference, however, makes them 18 percent more likely to split up. And a 10-year difference makes them 39 percent more likely. Once you enter large-gap territory, the 20-year difference and the 30-year difference, the odds of divorce are huge.

Let us now rephrase this and put it in bold: The wider the age gap of partners, the lower their chances are of relationship success.

Differences in ages also mean differences in life experience and cultural reference points. Generations may be an invention, but they are meaningful nonetheless. With all the strikes against long-lasting marriages nowadays, at least marrying someone age-compatible gives one a better shot at marital longevity. Note to men whose wives are way younger: LBL suspects she already knows what you are going to say. So you can save your energy for other, more fun, activities.

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The New Year, the New You and Relationship Resolutions

Start the year off by “doing you.”

Instead of criticizing yourself today for whatever you perceive you are lacking in terms of relationships (stressful marriage, fear of a life alone without love, lack of meaningful friendships, contentious work relationships, difficulty with your children or parents) take a step back and closely examine how you deal with yourself. Building your relationship with yourself will have far reaching impact on improving the quality of your romantic relationships and friendships, as well as enhancing your motivation and drive to get what you want out of life.

Resolution 1. Resolve to build greater self-compassion. Far too often people beat themselves up for not handling a particular relationship adequately, for causing distress to another, or for not doing enough for someone else. In my experience this kind of self-criticism means people try harder for a bit, only to regress to the same problematic patterns. In reality what helps people to be truly present and understanding of others is being deeply compassionate with themselves. Women in particular are socialized to tune in more with the feelings of others than to tune in with their own feelings. For some, it becomes a compulsion to make sure everyone else is okay before actually attending to how they themselves are feeling. This results in lopsided relationships where the woman involved is so consumed by taking care of the needs of her partners, children, parents, friends, that she may not even recognize how out of touch she is with her own needs. Self-compassion means self-acceptance, faults and all. And, it means recognizing that your experience of life is connected to the larger collective human experience.

Resolution 2. Resolve to look at your ‘failures’ or setbacks as opportunities for growth. It is common when faced with failure to give up and remind yourself of all of your other failures and to dwell on why it is you will never get whatever it is you truly desire. This thinking writes the script for a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. Improving the way you treat yourself means when hardship and disappointment are present, you do not pull the covers over your head and turn against yourself. You are your own most potent ally–if you become harsh and self-critical when faced with your shortcomings, you are turning on the person who can do the most to help. It is very powerful to re-write the script, drop gloomy resignation and resolve to work toward greater self-determination. Do not globally write yourself off. Sure, list specific weaknesses you have (fear of commitment, procrastination, chronic tardiness, fear of change), but also list ways to challenge yourself to mitigate these weaknesses and grow.

Resolution 3. Resolve to search each day for a sense of peace and wellbeing even if at first you can only sustain it for a few moments. Whatever feeling we carry in our bodies, we radiate out to others in our life. This can often set the theme for how interactions will go. If you are always busy, frazzled and never at peace, others pick up this frenetic energy and will not be at peace with you in your presence. If you carry sadness or anger, those you want to connect with will feel these same emotions in your presence. Work to find moments where you can connect with yourself, without obsessive thinking about what needs to be done next. Look for moments when you can concentrate on purposeful breathing and other physical sensations. Meditating goes far when it comes to dealing with others in your life. Resolve to connect with a peaceful feeing inside your own body and you will begin to extend this composure to all of your interactions. Being self-possessed will help you to appreciate others, stay in the present and even infect them with the same sense of wellbeing.

Resolution 4. Resolve not to take responsibility for other people. There is a difference between listening and connecting with others vs. taking on emotional work they need to do for themselves. The critical thinking and judgments of others are not opportunities for you to work harder to gain approval or to help them to your detriment. Resolve to notice if you are preoccupied by what others should be doing differently or with how to gain the approval of others and let that preoccupation go.

Resolution 5. Resolve to become more alive through connection. As a psychologist I talk to people frequently who live a double life. To their friends, family, spouse, they may seem to have it all together, while, deep down they harbor anger, negative thinking, anxiety or despair. It is a part of the normal human experience to struggle with negative thoughts or upsetting emotions; however, internalizing this negativity is toxic. Give up the fear of what others will think of you if they knew who you really are and what you really feel–remember most everyone has a dark side. Just as you are not responsible for other people, they are not responsible for you and the healthy ones will support and listen to you. The benefit of expressing yourself openly far outweighs the miniscule impact of someone having a negative perception or judgment about you.

Forget resolving to ‘be a better person’ instead, resolve to treat yourself as you wish others would treat you. As you improve your relationship with you, much of the rest of your life (including enjoying those you love most and coping with those that are harder to deal with) will reflect the ease and wellbeing you feel within.

For more follow me on twitter @DrJillWeber, like me on Facebook or visit drjillweber.com. Dr. Jill Weber is a clinical psychologist in Washington, DC and author of Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy — Why Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships.
GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Why Your Career Is Ruining Your Relationship

If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent decades honing the skills you need to succeed in business. You’re smart, savvy and good at what you do. Scratch that – you’re fantastic at what you do.

Society applauds you, your mom brags about you, and you’re finally making the money you deserve. You’re proud of what you’ve accomplished and define yourself by the characteristics that help you succeed. The traits that make you valuable in your career give your value in your life. After all, professional success is success in this culture.

Unfortunately what you do for a living can screw you in the romance department.

Here’s why: The skills you use to succeed in your career are the same ones that may block you from loving and being loved.

Take me for example. I help aspiring leaders get clear on their purpose and then develop strategies to bring their visions to life. Sounds harmless enough, but it’s the way I do it that presents the romantic challenge.

The reason I excel as a life strategist is because I empathize deeply with my clients. I take on their hopes, fears, thoughts and feelings and then use this emotional connection to tap into their true desires. Once I feel them, I can remind them who they really are and hold that vision for them until they’re ready to claim it as their own. It’s a beautiful process and my clients love me.

Yet I bring the exact same skill set into my relationship and I’m a delusional codependent.

I meld into my partner and sacrifice my needs for the vision of what the relationship could be. I stubbornly cling to this vision instead of acknowledging what is and shift my bounders to accommodate it. Needless to say, these skillful traits that enhance my career make it hard for me to have a healthy relationship.

If you’re thinking. “OK, but I don’t do that,” let me give you another example that may be more familiar.

I know a guy who gets thing done at work. As a senior manager in a company he helped grow from the ground up, he works tirelessly, takes personal responsibility for the company’s progress, and does everything himself instead of delegating. His take-charge attitude, abilities and dedication to the mission make him a phenomenal corporate leader and he’s well compensated for his efforts.

Translate his business acumen into romance however, and he’s a condescending control freak.

His inability to delegate means he doesn’t know how to communicate his needs or build trust with another person. His lack of faith in others’ capabilities means no one is his equal or capable of being a true partner. Although a huge boost to his business persona, in his love life, his can-do attitude turns into a need to control and a tendency to make decisions based on assumptions rather than dialogue.

But our hard-earned career skills didn’t have to be a death-sentence for the relationship, and they don’t have to be for yours either.

The trick is to think bigger.

Your professional traits aren’t all of you — they are just the characteristics you practice the most often and that receive the most tangible and public feedback. There’s no salary or social prestige for being a good partner, but your ability to climb the corporate ladder is widely visible. In a society that defines your worth based on your professional skills, it’s easy to fall back on your work personality even at social events. How many times have your been introduced by your job title or asked “what do you do?” at a party? Ever been asked what makes you feel happy or loved? I didn’t think so.

If you want to job-proof your relationship, here are four steps you can take today to avoid sacrificing your love life for professional success:

1. Know your work self.

Spend a few minutes right now identifying how you have to think, act, and feel to be the professional powerhouse that you are. What traits set you apart from your colleagues? What are you praised for? What you’re doing when you feel “on” at work? Explore how these characteristics show up in your personal life. Is it in your tone of voice? Your assumptions about how others think and behave?

2. Remember your bigger self.
What other qualities do you have that you don’t bring to work? Maybe you’re a big softie at heart or incredibly generous or affectionate. What does your partner say they love about you?

3. Decide how you want to be.
Feel into how you want to show up in your relationship. Some of your business traits may be helpful and empowering, while others may not have a place in your love life at all. Identify who you want to be, how you want to feel, and how you want to act as a partner capable of loving and being loved.

4. Communicate.

In my experience, there is very little that a conversation can’t cure. No one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. Just like you negotiate in business, sit down with your partner to say what you need, hear out their needs, and decide together how you can help each other feel good. No one is a mind reader, so don’t take it personally if you have to spell out what you want or are asked to do specific things to help your partner feel loved.

With a little self-reflection and a willingness to talk, you can be successful in your career and relationship. There’s nothing better than being appreciated and respected for your professional success by your partner. Use these steps to bring your best to both aspects of your life so you can give yourself and your partner more freedom to love and be loved.
GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Put Down That Smartphone!: Your Eye Contact Establishes Who Is the Most Important Relationship for You at any Given Moment (really, really)

Dear Ms. Huffington:

I believe that my wife can thrive — and reach her maximum potential — by attending the Thrive Third Metric event in NYC; and also reading your book on the subject. In fact, I am convinced that she is in dire need of understanding your Thrive Third Metric model.

My wife has many things in common with you: brilliant, enterprising, accomplished, devoted, kind; and possesses the sort of inner light, depth, and true elegance of special beings. However, she frequently is unable to disconnect. She seems to misplace her “off switch.” Often, she is a slave to technology. Far too often, a ring tone or vibration, from her smartphone elicits her immediate attention. She needs to understand your Third Metric “manifesto.” And she needs to understand that her eyeballs signal very potently, at every moment, who has the true priority of her quite formidable, yet human, attention span.

I bought a ticket for my wife to attend the Thrive Third Metric event on Thursday and Friday of this week. My wife was reluctant to take time from her duties to be in NYC for 48 hours. It wasn’t until you “touched her” that she relented. I am thankful to you. You see, my wife’s well-being is monumentally important to me. So much so, that I took the huge liberty of attempting to reach you “cold,” to ask for your help. My wife is capable of doing great things to benefit the communities she belongs to; if she doesn’t burn out. If she thrives.

All indications are that my wife will be at the New York City Center on this next Thursday and Friday. Thank you for taking the time, and making the effort, to send an email to my wife. And thank you for raising consciousness that the Third Metric is essential to thriving.

Sincerely,

Manuel R.D.J. vW.
GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Love Junkies: 7 Steps for Breaking the Toxic Relationship Cycle

Love Junkies: 7 Steps for Breaking the Toxic Relationship Cycle


A “Hand Up” for Women Stuck in the Toxic Love Rut Do romantic relationships leave you miserable and confused? Are you tired of getting into a relationship and as soon as the initial buzz is gone you get that sinking feeling that whispers, what am I doing? Did the new wear off as soon as the wedding bells rang? Experts say that we gravitate toward relationships within a ten-point spread of our own IQ. Likewise, in the realm of soul-health, we also attract those with whom we are most emotionally compatible. That can be a good thing, or a bad thing – it depends on how much baggage we carry around What if there was a way to diagnose your soul-health and create a plan for improvement so you could enjoy more satisfying romantic relationships? Complete with an online Soul-Health Profile that will help you assess your own soul-health and identify areas of weaknesses, Love Junkies is just that – an action plan and detailed guide to help you eliminate toxic behaviors that jeopardize your soul health and keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships. You’ll learn how to change your habits and heal your soul and most importantly, break the toxic relationship cycle FOREWORD: By Shannon Ethridge, bestselling author of the “Every Woman’s Battle” books with Steve Arterburn, and “The Sexually Confident Woman.”

Price: $
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