Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby: Crucial Bedroom Conversations To Have With Your Partner

African American couple relaxing in bed

Source: Klaus Tiedge / Getty

There is this sentiment that talking about sex can ‘ruin the mood,’ but sex therapist Gloria Brame, Ph.D. believes the opposite.

“You can’t have a great sex life unless you have great communication about sex with your partner,” Brame explained. “The more you can talk about what you want, ask for what you like, and listen to and act on your partner’s needs, the better your sex life will be.”

Here are 5 important conversations you should be having with your sexual partner, according to the experts.

1. How Does Your Partner Know You’re In The Mood? It’s important to be able to interpret when you’re partner is trying to initiate sex—otherwise you miss an opportunity. “Many people think that this should be obvious and doesn’t really need to be discussed,” says Madeleine Castellanos, M.D., sex therapist and author of Wanting to Want: What Kills Your Sex Life and How to Keep It Alive. “But this is one question that most couples learn the most about each other when they first come in to see me for counseling. Think about it: If you aren’t picking up on the signals your partner is sending you, misinterpreting the signals, or maybe even ignoring them, you are missing out on a chance to form a connection with your partner.”

2. Discuss Turn Ons/Turn Offs Maybe it’s morning breath. Maybe it’s not so hot to get down and dirty when you haven’t showered. Whatever the reason may be, you and your partner need to understand what turns the other off, so that you don’t kill the mood with your behavior. Alternatively, turn ons, like lingerie, a good meal or stimulating conversations, are also important to note. Brame explains, “The best way to ensure your partner keeps you turned on is to know and indulge each other’s biggest turn-ons. If there are specific acts, positions or words that instantly turn you off, telling your partner will help him avoid upsetting you in bed,” Brame says.

3. Open Up About Your Fantasies. When it comes to sex, being shy is not an option. Telling your partner your deepest desires can open up a world of sex you all never knew was possible. “Vulnerability breeds trust,” says Kat Van Kirk, certified sex therapist and author of The Married Sex Solution: A Realistic Guide to Saving Your Sex Life, “The more you can establish that in your sex life, the better and more fun it will be. Oftentimes, it’s just the thought that can help you create arousal,” she says.

4. Talk About Changes In Your Sex Life. Sex changes just like everything else in this world–and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Telling your partner about your personal mental, social, or physiological changes when it comes to sex is crucial. “Sharing what you’ve noticed can be ways that sex has become more positive for you or more challenging for you,” says Castellanos. “By sharing this information, both of you can celebrate how things are better and collaborate to find solutions for the challenges that your sexual relationship may face.”

5. The Honeymoon Won’t Last Forever. It’s hard to keep the spark in long-term relationships, but it’s not impossible. Acknowledging the changes without judging them is the key. “All long term relationships have ebbs and flows regarding sex,” says Van Kirk. She suggests a “quickie, make out session, or simply giving foot rubs during a Netflix marathon,” can make or break the relationship. 

SOURCE: Brides.com

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Jamie Foxx and Vince Vaughn Talk Life Lessons on New Digital Series

Actor, comedian, and musician Jamie Foxx is at it again but this time he’s getting personal. Foxx sits down with some of his longtime celeb friends to candidly discuss life’s lessons in his new digital series Off Script, created by Grey Goose. In the forthcoming episode released today, Foxx chats with actor Vince Vaughn about what it was like breaking into Hollywood.

“But didn’t you feel that way? Every time you did something didn’t you think, this is it?” asked Vaughn. “I actually auditioned for a television show and got it. Somehow there was some situation with my manager and the lead dude, it was a little kerfuffle… I told everybody I was gonna be in a pilot in my hometown and then I got cut out the pilot,” explained Foxx.

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Jamie Foxx and Vince Vaughn (Image: Off Script)

 

The duo continues to share exchanges surrounding their lives engaging in some of the wild stories that they’ve had in the past. Vaughn talks about settling down and knowing when it’s right and even more interestingly, why he chooses not to be on social media. “I don’t do social media, because I don’t like it. Like, what am I going to say, ‘oh, look what I’m having for lunch.‘ #Iwishyouwerehere. Like who gives a damn, right? I think it’s crazy.” Foxx adds, “some people are great at it and I don’t take anything from it,” but he doesn’t fancy it much either.

There’s a different dynamic from the new age artist to the older school of thought which is completely interesting. In Foxx and Vaughn’s era, social media was irrelevant to their career success whereas today, it’s how many artists get on. There is something to be said about being able to keep your private life private and still garner extreme success in a world that thrives off of celebs personal affairs.

Episode 4 of Off Script with Vince Vaughn was led by previous episodes that featured Gabrielle Union, Melissa McCarthy, and Chadwick Boseman. Upcoming episodes will include Sarah Silverman, Jeremy Renner, Benicio Del Toro, Denzel Washington, and Dwayne Johnson.

Click here to watch the episodes in full.

The post Jamie Foxx and Vince Vaughn Talk Life Lessons on New Digital Series appeared first on Black Enterprise.

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Reality Check: The Cromarties Talk About Life With Blended Family Of 14 Kids

Just having one or two kids is fun, but having 3, 4, 5 and 6 is fun too!,” says Terricka Cromartie about the blended family life she shares with husband Antonio Cromartie.

The power-couple star on USA’s The Cromarties, which centers on their marital life, their five kids (Antonio has 14 kids in total), and Antonio’s transition into full-time dad after 11 years in the NFL.

During the first half of the season, Terricka loved having Antonio home to help raise their kids, but his OCD, intense competitiveness, and method of parenting the same way he would coach a football team sometimes proved to be too much.

In the back half of the season, which kicked off May 8, the Cromarties are back and offering viewers a glimpse into Antonio’s life after the NFL, which he describes as, “Being at home with the wife full-time and enjoying family life.”

Check out our Q&A with The Cromarties below.

Tell us how you manage the everyday challenges of being a mom while starring on a reality tv show?

Terricka: It’s kinda been a blessed experience for us. Our day-to-day continues normally as it did prior to the show. We struggle with time management with the kids and filming and making sure they have a normal lifestyle, ‘cause they still go to school full-time and participate in their activities while filming. So we try to keep the balance so they can experience the joys of being on this show while at the same time still being a kid. So that’s the biggest struggle but our team here has made it great because they understand the importance it is for us that our kids maintain a normal lifestyle.

Speaking of that, there’s so much talk about income inequality these days. Do you ever worry about how your family will come off to others who also have more than a couple of kids but whose lifestyles are not as privileged as yours?

Antonio: We (aren’t) really concerned about it because we grew up in the same way. I grew up in a single-parent home. Terricka grew up in a single parent home, so we understand that aspect of life. I don’t think we live a lavish life. We just live within our means of what we want and we can provide for our kids. Can we live a lavish lifestyle? That would be something that’s different but we chose not to. Our biggest thing is just to make sure that we give our kids something that we didn’t have. The important thing is a family with both parents in the household. Our biggest thing is to give our kids what we didn’t have growing up.

Terricka: We raise our children to be respectful and to be good students in school and we reward them for those things. We keep it balanced. We don’t buy just for the sake of buying. There are moments where we do spoil our kids when it’s deserving.

Have there been moments when you’ve asked producers that a segment be cut because it was too embarrassing?

Terricka: No, we haven’t experienced that. We have a really good team They work really well with the kids and they take time for us and the kids. We thank God that we haven’t had to experience anything that was too embarrassing. We do have a lot of fun and we laugh a lot on set. It’s just been a really enjoyable experience. They make it really easy for us.

Talk about the evolution of Antonio from NBA player to full-time father of 14 on a reality show?

Antonio: The transition from playing in the NFL for 11 years to now coming home is not having to get up. My body is always up at a certain time, so I could wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning and start cleaning the house because I don’t really have nothing else to do.

It’s my body getting used to the transition for 11 years — just finding a niche and something else to do. My biggest thing is just always trying to do something I love, from coaching to broadcasting. That’s something I’m leaning towards too but the family time is most important. I’m able to go on field trips and be a chaperone or pick my kids up on the first day of school. Those are some of the things I missed while playing for 11 years and now that I have that, it’s something that’s priceless to me.

What are three of your favorite or core parenting values that you live by?

Terricka: I don’t know that there’s any one thing but I think the biggest thing that I always tell anybody who asks me is to just really be patient with your kids and understand that a lot of things are age sensitive. You’re going to have days where your kids are gonna run you crazy but just enjoy those moments because pretty soon they’re not going to be that age anymore and you’re going to miss it. My biggest thing is just to enjoy it, whether it’s a crazy day or a good day, just enjoy it for what it is and sit back and learn how to laugh at the little things.

When you watch the show, does it reveal your strengths and weakness as a parent and how your parenting styles differ?

Antonio: The show has revealed that I’m too strict. I need to be laid back a little more and be able to talk to the kids and not always give them a “No.” I think the strength part of it is me having patience with the kids and try to understand them more. But I think my biggest weakness is not letting them be kids but treating them more so as adults, and that’s something that needs change within me. That’s what the show has revealed.

Terricka: My strengths that I didn’t even realize I had maybe came through other people’s comments in regards to me as a parent. Just how I teach my kids and how I allow them to develop. I encourage my kids to go over and above what somebody else would expect of a one-year-old. My expectations of them are a lot larger than what most people would expect. So I realize that I have the strength in that, as far as communicating with my kids and their daily development. I think my weakness is I’m very worrisome about my kids. I don’t know if that’s expressed on the show. I know I’ve experienced it with working on the set. I’m the worrisome mom. I’m always worried about the safety of my kids.

And parents want to know if you share some of the fears that they have for their children

Antonio: Everything going on in society is surrounded on racial and social injustice, so us being on the show, that’s part of the fear that comes into it because of what’s going on in Black America right now, and the injustices that’sgoing on throughout America. And it’s also just parenting, having the fear of not doing something the right away for your kids, or not teaching them certain things or how to do things. You don’t want to fail as a parent by not explaining to them or teaching them something as they go through life.

How do you work in romance, sexy time and reconnecting as a couple?

Terricka: We just sneak away… occasionally. We definitely plan date night and make time for us. Sometimes we do it during the day while the kids are at school.

What do you find most rewarding about starring on a reality TV series with your family?

Terricka: Just to be able to share our story. A lot of people had speculations about us and our household and how large it was and us having kids outside (the marriage) but they never really understood us as a whole.

I think people get a true glimpse inside our household and they can see that we’re extremely relatable. We’re not the parents that know everything but we’re young and we’re making good decisions with our kids and we have a blended family. We don’t really showcase blended families but other families who are blended, know that you can have a blended family, you can be different and it can work and you guys can be very successful with it. I’m glad we’ve been able to showcase that.

Tune in to “The Cromarties” Tuesdays at 10:30/9:30c on USA.

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Otis College of Art and Design Mentors From Bally, Universal Studios Talk Fashion, Commerce

Otis College of Art and Design on Saturday will stage its first fashion show and annual scholarship benefit at home — on the Elaine and Bram Goldsmith Campus in Westchester, Calif.
As always, the event brings students together with talent from the fashion and entertainment industries, which this year includes mentors from Bally, Universal, Marvel Studios and Ironhead Studio. This year’s special gala guest is Jason Wu.
Featuring more than 125 designs from junior and senior fashion students, the show’s segments each have specific creative direction from the industry mentors, with the overall theme of “Celestial Bodies.”
Mentors and Otis alumni include Rod Beattie of Bleu, Marisol Bradford of NBC Universal, Chris Chang of Poesia and Sapna von Sick of Alo Yoga. Additional mentors include Claudia Cividino, Bally’s chief executive officer, Americas; costume designer Louise Mingenbach of the “X-Men” and “Superman” films; Jose Fernandez of Ironhead Studios; Johnson Hartig of Libertine, and Davora Lindner of Prairie Underground.

Otis College of Art and Design students present their designs for Universal Studios, which will appear in its annual fashion show. 
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‘What Remains of Edith Finch’ Duo Talk Beating Zelda to a BAFTA & Tease New Game

2017 was a hell of a year for video games. In 12 short months, gamers not only saw Nintendo return to greatness with the double whammy of Breath of The Wild and Super Mario Odyssey, but they were also treated to refreshingly innovative new gaming experiences like Nier: Automata.

Yet, despite many of the biggest publishers bringing their A-game, 2017 was also the year that indie gaming really pushed the boundaries of interactive entertainment. With breakout hits like PUBG turning the industry on its head, Hellblade using interactive entertainment to explore psychosis, and the long-awaited Cuphead finally seeing the light of day, it was a great 12 months for the little guys in gaming too.

Yet, while the likes of Cuphead really captured the imagination of the mainstream, it was the haunting slow burner What Remains Of Edith Finch that really raised the bar for storytelling in gaming.

It has impressed and moved thousands of players, feeling the closest gaming’s come to capturing the essence of a good novel. Despite What Remains Of Edith Finch being a brilliant experience, no one expected it to beat the likes of Zelda for best game at this year’s BAFTAS. Somehow though, against all odds – that’s exactly what it did.

Grabbing the game’s starstruck creators on the red carpet, we found out how this understated masterpiece came about – and even got a hint at what’s coming next from the BAFTA-winning team. With the game starting life as a scuba diving simulator and inspired by the likes of Neil Gaiman and Stanley Kubrick, this ambitious story effortlessly melds together a collection of short stories, each with their own distinct art style and unique mechanics.

If you haven’t played it already, the game is now on sale on Humble bundle — so now’s the time to make that right. You can check out the full interview with Ian Dallas and Joshua Sarfaty — the game’s creative and technical directors — above.

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Pompeo defends Trump on Russia, won’t talk about Mueller

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

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Brow talk: The best eyebrow products to accentuate your arches

How to go from fine to full in a matter of minutes

best eyebrow products

Our brow preferences couldn’t have changed much more over the last decade. Gone are the super-sparse brows of the naughties; instead, we’re now beefing them up using the best eyebrow products money can buy.

But not everyone was blessed with thick, full, Delevingne-esque eyebrows and, sadly, the majority of us have to fake it in the brow department.

While microblading treatments have rapidly gained popularity over the last few years, we wouldn’t blame you for being reluctant to spend a few hundred quid on getting your brows filled in. The best eyebrow products are a much cheaper solution when looking how to get thicker eyebrows.

From velvety soft pencils that’ll fill your eyebrows in stroke-by-stroke, to thickening pomades and growth-enhancing serums, the world’s your oyster when it comes to formulas and shades.

So where do you start when choosing the best brow products? If you like a thick, dark and defined brow shape, choose a pomade like Benefit’s Ka-Brow. The thin angular brush enables you to easily outline and fill your brows out into.

If you prefer a more natural look, try a clear brow gel (we love Bobbi Brown and Glossier’s). These will fix your brows in place without it looking like your wearing any product at all.

When choosing a colour, the key is to always go for a duskier, earthier shade of your hair colour – very warm or orange-toned brows look too ‘done’ and unnatural-looking. And ideally, stay within a two shade range – no more than one shade lighter or darker than your current hair colour.

Once you’re clued up on the best eyebrow shapes for your face shape, read on for the Marie Claire approved eyebrow products you can find on UK beauty shelves.

These brow products are your one-way ticket to the perfect arches – because, as the saying goes, if your eyes really are the window to your soul, then your brows are surely the frame…

The post Brow talk: The best eyebrow products to accentuate your arches appeared first on Marie Claire.

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Elevator Talk 101: How ready are you for 32 stories of small talk?

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Quick – the CEO of your company just got into the elevator with you! What do you do? These few seconds could determine your future, so you’ve got to say the right thing. Go beyond “How was your weekend?” and impress the boss with your knowledge of current events. Take the quiz above to see if you’ve got what it takes to be a small talk Jedi master. Your opportunity to get noticed has arrived!

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Some teachers don’t talk to anyone about violent incidents

One in five teachers who were the victims of physical or verbal violence at their schools didn’t report the incidents to school administrators, according to a nationwide study. The results showed that significant minorities of teachers who experienced violence also didn’t tell their colleagues (14 percent) or family (24 percent).
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We Need to Talk About Jadis’ Artwork in ‘The Walking Dead’

SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers from The Walking Dead Season 8, Episode 10 titled “The Lost and the Plunderers.” Proceed with caution.


The Walking Dead doesn’t mess around. Losing Carl in Season 8 Episode 9 wasn’t easy for fans, but it was time to close one arc so another could begin. And what better time to start telling new stories than the middle of a season? As everything burned behind Carl, Rick, and Michonne in the mid-season premiere, new stories were seeded to grow and become a new chapter.

Thanks to Jadis and Simon, the latest developments were also the most shocking moments of Season 8 Episode 10, “The Lost and the Plunderers.”

Jadis Says

It’s been a while since we were intimate with Jadis. Back in Season 8 Episode 7, “Time For After”, we all scratched our heads at Jadis painting in the nude, taking NSFW Rick pics. Since then, we’ve watched her double cross both Rick and Negan while speaking in weird pidgin english devoid of pronouns, quietly wishing she’d just STFU and help Rick beat The Saviors. But Jadis had a different idea of what success looked like for The Scavengers, and it didn’t include saving their lives.

It did, however, include a meat grinder.

After Simon murdered her entire colony and they turned to zombie, Jadis lured them all to a giant meat grinder and turned them all into mush on a conveyer belt.

Before pulverizing her new zombie colony, Jadis explained the origin of The Scavengers to Rick and Michonne while wearing a white dress, splattered in blood.

I used to come here to find things to paint on. Metal sheets. Fabrics. And then after everything changed, I realized this whole place was a canvas – but we were the paint. We could create something new. We could become something new. We did. This was our world, apart from everyone else, in every way. — Jadis

If post-apocalyptic leaders are opportunistic colonizers, Jadis was certainly the most creative. More importantly, Jadis started speaking in complete sentences for the first time, making this the most shocking moment of the episode.

Meanwhile, The Whisperers have been rumored to be making an appearance in The Walking Dead TV Series. Left alone to her own vices, this shocking plot twist may have just set the stage for Jadis to create and lead them.

Was this episode our last glimpse of Jadis, or are her complete sentences indicative of her next art project?

Idiots Rule

Simon has always had crazy eyes, but his allegiance to Negan always seemed to keep his loco in check. At every turn, Simon appeared to be Negan’s best Lieutenant. A lawful evil character in nature, Simon was scary because he did what he was told without asking why. Turns out that was fake news. Simon showed his true colors in Season 8 Episode 10 and went full Chaotic Evil.

Simon is a natural born killer, and he clearly doesn’t worry about following the leader.

Will he lead a coup within The Saviors to oust Negan, or will Negan set him up on a Tinder date with Lucille? Let’s hope for the latter, because Simon is scary af right now.

Negan, Just Admit It

It was bound to happen. While Simon went full evil, Negan went full lovable and fans don’t want him to die. Ever. When Rick told Negan that Carl is dead and left him a note, Negan’s backstory became more relevant than ever. Like a teacher who lost a student too soon, Negan is clearly heartbroken, and now we’re all crying with him.

Rick’s obsession with killing Negan is no longer his best source of power. It might be time to follow a different path, and consider Carl’s advice to stop fighting with Negan. Is Rick too consumed with vengeance to give peace with Negan a chance?

Ocean Size

Although it was the biggest snoozer of the entire episode, the ladies of Oceanside decided not to kill Enid, and we’re proud of them for making the right decision, so she can read the letter Carl left for her.

How will Enid react when she finds out about Carl?

You Win Or You Die

Ultimately, The Walking Dead Season 8 seems to have gone full Game of Thrones, with a twist. For many seasons now, members of colonies wind up dead en masse after poor decisions by leadership, but the leader is usually left standing – forever changed. Each leader rules their colony with a different governing philosophy, and believes they have done everything humanly possible to protect their people from flesh eating zombies and evildoer humans.

But with Simon making moves and Negan making us all cry, who are the leaders now? Is Jadis the Mother of Whisperers? Is Simon the new Ramsay Bolton of The Sanctuary? What about Negan – is he more like Jamie Lannister or Jon Snow ? Either way, there’s a battle amongst leaders which continues to end in the deaths of the people who trust them. Fans can only hope a leader with good character alignment wins long enough to keep Carl’s dream of peace alive in Alexandria before Jadis returns with The Whisperers in tow.

What did you think of the latest episode of The Walking Dead? Do you think Jadis is the new Mother of Whisperers? Let us know @getfandom on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram .

The post We Need to Talk About Jadis’ Artwork in ‘The Walking Dead’ appeared first on FANDOM.

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Trump to impose steep tariffs on steel, aluminum, stoking trade war talk

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – President Donald Trump announced on Thursday he would impose hefty tariffs on imported steel and aluminum to protect U.S. producers, risking retaliation from major trade partners like China, Europe and neighboring Canada as well as helping to trigger a large selloff on Wall Street.    


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This Week in Women: It’s Time to Talk About How Gender Shapes Gun Violence and Global Conflict

This Week in Women is part of a series produced in partnership between Ms. and the Fuller Project for International Reporting. This column is also part of a newsletter; sign up here to receive it regularly.

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The gun control debate dominated the news after a mass shooting at a high school in Parkland, Florida on Valentine’s Day left 17 people, including 14 students, dead. The fact that Nikolas Cruz allegedly stalked and threatened his girlfriend before allegedly opening fire on former classmates, coaches, and teachers, didn’t feature strongly in media coverage this week, even though about a quarter of all mass shootings in the U.S. are committed by perpetrators with a history of domestic violence.

Administrators sent Cruz to other schools due to his erratic and threatening behavior, and his mother called the police more than 30 times, including for incidents classified as domestic disturbances, but it didn’t stop him from buying a gun. Without a misdemeanor conviction for domestic violence against a current or former spouse, Cruz could still legally buy a firearm.

This is the so-called “boyfriend loophole,” yet closing this gap in the law hasn’t been raised prominently this week as an effective tool for preventing gun violence, along with banning bump stocks and strengthening background checks. That’s a shame because relative to other issues, there’s quite a lot of bipartisan support around protecting domestic violence victims. More than half of women murdered by men in the U.S. are killed by intimate partners, and in 2015, 55 percent of female victims were killed with a gun. Late last week, Oregon’s House of Representatives passed a bill to close the boyfriend loophole in the state—finally—and banned anyone with a misdemeanor stalking conviction from owning a gun. The legislature was moved to action by the Parkland shootings, however the bill was supported by a female governor, and endorsed last year by Oregon’s National Organization for Women.

Elsewhere in the news, hundreds were killed in Syria earlier this week—including at least 50 women—when forces loyal to Syrian president Bashar al Assad launched an intense bombing campaign. More violence is expected in this seven-year conflict. Women remain left out of the numerous failed efforts to end the war and bring peace, and, as two experts from the Council on Foreign Relations write in CNN, women’s participation in peace negotiations makes an agreement 64 percent less likely to fail.

Politico reported Thursday that the upcoming annual State Department report on global human rights is going to replace the phrase “reproductive rights” with “coercion in population control.” This reflects the influence of the U.S. far right, which equates U.S.-supported efforts to supply women with contraception to population coercion. The Fuller Project reported last year on these far-right groups who say the U.S. encourages abortion of female fetuses in China, which has zero evidence.

But in a sign of progress on equal rights for women, investment banks are creating “gender equality ETFs” that allow investors to put their money into a fund that only invests in companies championing gender equality. Last month, Swiss banking giant UBS became the latest firm to offer this investment option, and half of the companies in the fund are U.S.-based.

And this month on the cover of Glamour magazine, our senior global editor Sophia Jones reports on Afghanistan’s only all-female TV news station, whose broadcasts give viewers “a new image of female strength.” Read Sophia’s excellent story here.

Christina Asquith is founder and editor-in-chief of The Fuller Project for International Reporting.

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The post This Week in Women: It’s Time to Talk About How Gender Shapes Gun Violence and Global Conflict appeared first on Ms. Magazine Blog.

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Toddler gave Olympic-gold-medalist-mom Kikkan Randall a special pep talk

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Betsy Shaw

posted in Life

A cool thing happened at the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea. The only mother competing for Team U.S.A. won a gold medal together with her teammate, Jessie Diggins, in the Nordic team sprint competition.

Randall’s 22-month-old son, Breck, despite having traveled the world with her for two competition seasons, stayed behind with his grandparents while his mom made her fifth and final attempt at Olympic gold.

Nordic skiers are arguably the fittest athletes in the world. Their sport requires pushing oneself to maximum aerobic and anaerobic limits for mile after mile. We’re talking lungs exploding, arms pumping, legs gone to jello, stomach lurching with bile from sheer exertion, yet still pushing ever forward towards the finish line.

And, for anyone who doesn’t remember, parenting a toddler is also one of the craziest endurance sports imaginable. This all makes me think that Kikkan Randall deserves two gold medals. One for her athletic tenacity and perseverance, and one for sustaining that athletic tenacity and perseverance in the face of parenting a toddler.

Yet, in every interview with Randall I’ve read, the 35-year-old veteran athlete has described having a baby as an asset, not an impediment, to her athletic success. She credits motherhood with increasing her focus, and putting things into perspective.

Randall talks about how motherhood has helped rather than hindered her career in this NBC video.

“It’s really fun to be able to blend motherhood and skiing which has been my whole life.” she says in the video. “The best part about it, however the workout or race goes, is getting home and seeing that smile on his face. It gives perspective to everything I do.”

In a TeamUSA interview, I learned that, while she’s been in Korea for the Games, Randall has been staying in touch with her son via FaceTime.

In the interview she offered a sweet antidote about how her son motivated her on the night before the team sprint:

“As the call was winding down, she said, “OK, Mommy’s going to go race in the Olympics tomorrow, can you cheer me on?” He took his pacifier out and just said, “Gooooooooo.” Then put the pacifier back into his mouth.”

And Gooooo she did. Fast enough for Goooold.

Randall also told reporters that she showed her son her gold medal but he was more excited about the stuffed Olympic mascot toy she had been given right after the race.

For anyone wondering, like I am, how this elite athlete dealt with pregnancy and postpartum, a report in The Washington Post gives a bit of backstory. According to the article, this driven mom took just three weeks off after her son’s birth to “really take a chill,” but, after that, it was back to the grind. Her Instagram feed is filled with shots of little Breck going just about everywhere in backpacks, joggers, and pull along ski trailers, full-speed ahead, with his Olympian mom.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCL9g7tDSit/?hl=en&taken-by=kikkanimal
Randall’s Instagram feed is filled with fun training scenes interspersed with plenty of adorable mom-baby moments, like this one.  And this one, which I love, where she says she’s bummed to be missing a competition but happy to be home taking selfies with her little guy.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by KIMMO BRANDT/EPA/REX/Shutterstock (8433841gs)

One of the reasons I retired from my career as a professional athlete when I was 33 but still very competitive, was I knew I wanted to have a baby, or two, and could not imagine how I would combine my life as a mother, and my life of an athlete, in any sane or successful way. So whenever I read about women who manage to do the ultimate balancing act, I am in awe, and a little bit jealous.

Did you watch the Olympics? Have any favorite moments?

Feature photo:Photo by DIEGO AZUBEL/EPA-EFE/REX/Shutterstock (9433514x)

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Rapsody “Chrome (Like Ooh),” Maino ft. Dave East & Jaque “Bag Talk” & More | Daily Visuals 2.20.18

Source: Photo: Instagram

If you ain’t up on Rapsody’s Laila’s Wisdom then you should know that you’re only a player because you be playin’ yaself.

Today the Grammy nominated MC comes through with some cinematic visuals to “Chrome (Like Ooh)” which follows a group of knuckleheads that are ‘bout that life until they’re reminded that all police need is a single reason.

Back in New York Maino hits up Dave East and Jaque for his clip to “Bag Talk” where the three post up at a currency exchange spot where they trade in foreign paper for big face Benny’s. Love & Hip Hop paying Jaque with overseas paper?

Check out the rest of today’s drops and some joints you might’ve missed over the weekend including work from Trippie Redd featuring Travis Scott, Tinashe featuring Future, and more.

RAPSODY – “CHROME (LIKE OOH)”

MAINO FT. DAVE EAST & JAQUE – “BAG TALK”

TRIPPIE REDD FT. TRAVIS SCOTT – “DARK KNIGHT DUMMO”

TINASHE FT. FUTURE – “FADED LOVE”

YOUNG DOLPH – “PARANOID”

MALLY MALL, JEREMIH & E-40 – “PHYSICAL”

KHALID & NORMANI – “LOVE LIES”

SHOOBY – “S.O.M.E.”

YFN LUCCI FT. YFN TRAE POUND & YFN KAY – “PROPANE”

CALEBORATE – “BANKROBBER”

MOLLY BRAZZY FT. AD – “ION LIKE YOU”

The Latest Hip-Hop News, Music and Media | Hip-Hop Wired

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Roseanne’s 2 Beckys Talk Being Pitted Against Each Other

Roseanne is officially coming back and for the first time ever, both Beckys will be sharing the screen! Lecy Goranson left the show for seasons 6 and 7, retuned for season 8, then left again in season 9. Sarah Chalke replaced her for those three seasons. However, in the reboot, both actresses will be back: Goranson will play Becky while Chalke will play Andrea, who hires Becky to be a surrogate for her.

Since they never got to work together on the show, once Goranson, 43, got the call for the reboot, she asked for Chalke to return, too. “I actually requested that Sarah come back and that we’d have scenes together when I first heard about the show coming back. I’ve said this before, but I really don’t like how people pit us against each other,” she told Us Weekly exclusively.

Sarah Chalke Michael Fishman Lecy Goranson
Sarah Chalke, Michael Fishman and Lecy Goranson.

“It’s ridiculous,” Chalke added, pointing out that the one photo shoot they did participate in together for the sitcom, they were asked to arm wrestle each other. However, about a year ago, they both appeared on Inside Amy Schumer and “had the best time,” Chalke, 41, added.

“That was really cool! I really wanted to know about Sarah’s experience on the show. I wanted to know what happened and how she felt about things, and it was just really cool,” Goranson added, also nothing that the way they both are included in the reboot really works.

Lecy Goranson Sarah Chalke Roseanne reboot
Lecy Goranson and Sarah Chalke on the reboot of ‘Roseanne.’ ABC/Adam Rose

“It could have been very broad, it could have been really over the top, but I feel like it was written in a way that was very dynamic and interesting,” the actress noted. “I feel like the way Sarah’s character was written was very interesting and could have gone a different way, in a much broader way, and I really appreciate that the writers are that good to do that. It just makes it more grounded.”

Roseanne premieres on ABC Tuesday, March 27, at 8 p.m. ET.

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Rumors Abound, but Talk of a Spice Girls Reunion Tour Is ‘Premature’

For fans of the Spice Girls, speculation has been rampant about a possible reunion tour ever since it was revealed that the five original band members – Victoria Beckham, Emma Bunton, Geri Horner, Melanie Brown and Melanie Chisholm – had gathered over lunch at Horner’s home earlier this month. But those hoping to see Posh, Scary, Sporty, […]

Variety

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How to Talk Finances When You Want Your Love (and Money) to Last Forever

Our first money talk started with pad thai.

I was on a first dining date — our actual first date was playing shuffleboard — with a new guy named Ian. When the check came, I instinctively pulled out my wallet and offered to split it. He chased away my offer with his Visa.

I felt slightly embarrassed for my reverse chivalry. It’d just been my modus operandi for years with friends and past boyfriends. Had I overstepped a money boundary on one of our first dates?

Back in the car, Ian admitted he thought the opposite. In fact, he liked my lack of expectations.

Turns out, his ex was all about money — his money — and my simple gesture became a catalyst for future conversations about our finances.

That was 2015, and it was only the beginning. Ian proposed to me last Christmas, and I said “yes.”

Now we’re having even bigger talks about our finances and future while also planning a wedding and honeymoon. We even signed up for our first joint credit card and are warming up to the idea of shared bank accounts.

5 Money Talks That Made Us Financially In Sync

Female and male walking holding hands

Stephanie and Ian find that simple gestures go a long way in communicating with each other, especially when it comes to their finances. Carmen Mandato/The Penny Hoarder

In the beginning, I wasn’t used to talking so squarely about money. To me, money talks always wore kid gloves and bore a “no trespassing” sign. My instinct was to tread lightly. Funny how that instinct got turned on its complicated head with one card flip.

Here are a few of the money talks we’ve had since the pad thai incident.

Are You a Spender or a Saver?

We didn’t talk money much during our first six months of dating, but one thing was obvious: He was a saver, and I was a spender.

I learned his mom used to be an accountant, which made him predisposed to saving. Meanwhile, I haven’t always been the best with money. It’s taken a lot of sacrifice, commitment and wading through debt to teach myself good financial habits. Even still, I struggle.

Our spending habits came up gradually when I gleefully exclaimed that I’d paid off a credit card, or by way of a package on my doorstep from a splurge at Shein or Amazon. Surprisingly, Ian didn’t scold or guilt me for spending. In fact, he agreed you have to treat yourself sometimes, or that splurge could turn into a spree.

His uncritical attitude made me feel more relaxed and less guarded about my spending habits.

The Dreaded Salary Talk

Eventually, my splurging and his saving gave way to conversations about how we manage our finances… and how much we make.

We’d dated for over six months and built enough rapport to divulge in these sorts of money talks. Sure discussing salaries can be awkward, but the timing felt right.

Sidenote: If your partner makes six figures, try not to let your jaw drop or use the info to make them always pick up the tab. And if your partner makes a low wage, be understanding and create a safe, loving space for them.

How Do You Manage Your Money?

I’d always paid my credit card when the due date came. Ian, on the other hand, made weekly $ 20-$ 40 payments that often added up to more than the minimum due.

“Duh, why hadn’t I thought of that?” I thought. I quickly changed the way I paid off my debt and felt grateful we were talking seriously and constructively.

Within a year of dating, I took out a personal loan to pay off some debt. I told Ian about it, but I didn’t ask for his input. These were my finances. He was encouraging about it and admired my financial initiative.

Are We Really Ready to Move in Together?

Knowing each other’s salaries really helped when we made travel plans — and when we toyed with the idea of moving in together.

Many of our friends had moved in with their significant others within a year of dating out of convenience and financial circumstances.

We embraced our independence but enjoyed entertaining the idea from a safe distance. When the topic of our friends’ follies came up, we used it as fodder to hypothesize about what we would do in that situation, including how we might split bills.

That speculation spurred more talks about the big “d” word: debt. Let’s just say it’s definitely easier to talk about how much you make than how much you owe.

He’d known about my loan, but not everything. I knew he had student loan debt, but not everything. It was clear that before moving in together, we needed to talk about everything.

And we did just that. Being better informed about each other’s finances helped us better determine what we could afford.

How Will We Split the Bills?

By the time we finally moved in together after two years of dating, we’d already established a divide-and-conquer strategy toward bills. The internet, HBO and the Ashley Furniture credit card are now in my name, while electric, water and the Lowe’s store card are in his name.

We even entertained the idea of a cleaning service, which forced us to sit down and discuss the pros and cons from money to time management. We decided that $ 20 each a week was worth it for both of us.

When it comes to going out, I still offer to pay sometimes — and guess what, he lets me. He finds it attractive, but he does pay for me way more than I do for him. Generally, I handle the cheapies, and he gets the fancies. Partnership.

Money Talks to Come: Lessons From a 31-Year Marriage

Male and female sitting in a booth

Ron and Leslie Christon have been married for 31 years, and talking about finances is a big part of their partnership. Carmen Mandato/The Penny Hoarder

I feel pretty confident about our progress so far, although, realistically, we still have a lifetime of complex money talks ahead of us. We have yet to buy a house, say “I do” to the other’s debt, or bring kids into the equation.

I reached out to Leslie Christon, my first boss out of college, for some help navigating our uncharted financial territory.

She and her husband, Ron, probably have more financial coolness than any couple I’ve known. In 31 years of marriage, they’ve lived in four states, owned four homes, had a son and worked 10 jobs between them. They recently opened a restaurant, Chica’s Taco Bar, in Clearwater, Florida. And they’re still married. Can I get a “cheers” for that?

When they met, Leslie already had a house and two cars: her sports car and a work vehicle.

“I think Ron appreciated my independence,” she said. “He didn’t have to carry the burden alone.”  

They didn’t need each other financially. Instead, they chose to be with each other. That created a solid foundation, allowing them to build trust and pool their resources.

So that was some validation that Ian and I might just have this whole money thing right… Might. Here are some other pointers Leslie gave me about financial communication.

Tell Your Partner What You Want Your Future to Look Like

Leslie said she and Ron couldn’t have made things work without some core values that make every endeavor easier.

“When you realize there is a permanence in your relationship and you’re going to move forward together — whether it’s living together, getting married or having kids — you commit not just emotionally, but you commit financially, honesty and truthfulness,” she said.

She and Ron both wanted kids, so they discussed everything from medical expenses to a college fund. They even started a general savings plan for their son after he was born and used it to teach him the value of saving money by matching every dollar he put into it.

Divulging their hopes and dreams helped them avoid many conflicts and roadblocks because each knew the other’s intentions and expectations every step of the way.

Money talks

Leslie and Ron take a moment together in a booth at their restaurant before the lunch rush begins. Carmen Mandato/The Penny Hoarder

Don’t Forget to cc Your Spouse

One of Leslie and Ron’s greatest successes came by accident.

Due to conflicts with work schedules, they swapped who was responsible for paying bills. The switch gave each one perspective on how much money was coming in and going out. They now alternate the role of bill payer every couple years as a best practice.

Knowing each other’s passwords and security questions facilitates this practice. Not to mention, there’s never any worry about a secret credit card or savings account.

This is good because, according to Go Banking Rates, being secretive about finances is the No.1 financial deal breaker for couples in the U.S.

But it’s not always peaches and cream.

“We have our spats like any couple,” Leslie said.

She admits those usually happen when she goes shopping or makes a big purchase without telling Ron — even if it’s for a vacation or a present for him.

(Note to Ian: I would never be mad if you bought me a vacation.)

Show Your Support With Talk… and Action

When Leslie began to consider opening a restaurant, she and Ron did heaps of discussing, projecting and planning before making any big moves. They hashed out a budget and factored in every possible expense — all a year before opening Chica’s Taco Bar in late 2017.

And did I mention Ron maintained his career while helping Leslie with the endeavor? Oh, and he also had to agree to rein in spending on non-necessities. Each had the other’s back through the thick stacks and the income trickle.

So far, it’s a success, thanks not only to their well-crafted business plan, but because of their financial forwardness over the years.

“We trust each other implicitly. I trust him financially and he trusts me financially,” Leslie said.

What Our First Money Talk Taught Us

I think back to the pad thai incident and how it shaped our healthy financial discourse.

Ian said that, in retrospect, my attempt to pay told him, “I’m in this with you not just because you’re providing, but because this is a partnership.”

With that, we agreed that the road to our financial future would be a two-way street, and we’d each have to pull our own weight and make it fair.

And we’ve been partners ever since.

man and woman holding hands

Stephanie and Ian found full disclosure brought them closer together more than it pushed them apart.  Carmen Mandato/The Penny Hoarder

Stephanie Bolling is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder. She plans on solving all her financial fretting by asking Ron and Leslie to adopt her and Ian by proxy. Just kidding. She just wants to fast-forward to the honeymoon.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

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Alexander Polinsky Thanks Sara Gilbert And ‘The Talk’; Says Expressing Past Pain Is Liberating

Alexander Polinsky became a viral news story this week when Nicole Eggert appeared on CBS’ The Talk and co-host Sara Gilbert read a written statement he had sent to the show. Nicole and Alexander have filed police reports against Scott […]
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Trump wants to talk to Mueller despite lawyers’ concerns

President Donald Trump’s lawyers have aimed to hit the brakes on a potential sit-down with Robert Mueller, but Trump remains eager to speak with the special counsel, according to his allies.


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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

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