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Here’s today’s question: What are your boundaries for appropriate touch in the workplace? How do you deal when your boss, client, or coworkers touches you inappropriately, makes you feel uncomfortable, or generally creeps you out? Where is your personal line to get HR involved versus deal with it yourself by using a witty comeback or avoiding that person or situation again?
I recently heard a young woman speak about how, during her work in her 20s as a lobbyist, she often would get long, grabby hugs from men she was trying to lobby or otherwise work with. After a lot of these hugs, she finally devised a comeback for one of the repeat offenders: “Aww, it must be my lucky day — today I got the kind of hug you give your wife!” He never attempted it again.
Afterward, when I spoke to another woman in the audience about the “uncomfortable but not necessarily sexual” contact that women, particularly young women, often face in the workplace — from both men and women superiors, coworkers, clients, and others — we laughed about weird, uncomfortable touches we’d gotten over the years… The aforementioned grabby hug. The weird shoulder “pet” when someone tries to touch you to emphasize something but their hand lingers and does a kind of petting motion. That clammy handshake where they somehow find a way to massage your hand. I filed it away as an interesting discussion for here on the blog.
I was reminded of it this weekend as I read Neil deGrasse Tyson’s response to the recent sexual abuse allegations against him; some are saying a lot of his behavior might have fit in this category. There’s more to the story, and I don’t know him or the women accusers, but I thought portions of the accusations, even from his own descriptions of them, sounded like they would be great illustrations for this post. From the two less serious allegations, first in 2009:
A colleague at a well attended, after-conference, social gathering came up to me to ask for a photograph. She was wearing a sleeveless dress with a tattooed solar system extending up her arm. … I was reported to have “groped” her by searching “up her dress”, when this was simply a search under the covered part of her shoulder of the sleeveless dress.
And then from a 2018 incident (this was only part of the situation — and again, we’re quoting his defense):
… I never touched her until I shook her hand upon departure. On that occasion, I had offered a special handshake, one I learned from a Native elder on reservation land at the edge of the Grand Canyon. You extend your thumb forward during the handshake to feel the other person’s vital spirit energy — the pulse. I’ve never forgotten that handshake, and I save it in appreciation of people with whom I’ve developed new friendships.
Just to reiterate again: I’m not trying to second-guess Tyson’s account or the women’s accounts — I don’t know him or them, and I hope truth will out, whatever it may be. I just thought that his own tellings of “awkward but not inappropriate” behavior were more illustrative than a clumsy phrase like “grabby hug” or “massagey handshake.” So let’s discuss: What are the boundary lines for appropriate touch in the workplace? How SHOULD you respond when someone crosses a line? At what point do you come up with a witty comeback; at what point do you need to loop in a supervisor or HR? When does it cross the line from “awkward dude needs to be put in his place” to “abuse of power from a superior” or “hostile work environment”?
Pictured: Deposit Photos / photographee.eu.
The post What Are The Boundaries of Appropriate Touch in the Workplace? appeared first on Corporette.com.
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You’ll never guess what it is…
Less than 48 hours after the announcement that Meghan Markle is pregnant and the couple have already received a gift for their first child.
Kensington Palace announced on Monday that the baby is due in spring 2019 – although people already reckon they’ve worked out Meghan’s due date.
While the royal family found out the news on Friday, it’s thought that Meghan shared her pregnancy with this person a couple of months before.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex had a jam-packed first day of their royal tour in Sydney, meeting Invictus games representatives as well as visiting a zoo and the Royal Opera House.
At the beginning of the day the pair were presented with a cuddly kangaroo by Australia’s Governor General, Sir Peter Cosgrove, to which Meghan exclaimed, ‘Our first baby gift!’
Later they also received a tiny pair of Ugg boots that we’re sure will come in handy – although Meghan already has a gift for her future daughter, which she’s had for years.
At Taronga Zoo the couple also met a pair of baby koalas that had been named after them in honour of their nuptials, according to The Sun. We’re jealous.
‘We genuinely couldn’t think of a better place to announce the upcoming baby, be it a boy or a girl,’ Harry said of the baby news.
Watch this space for more pictures and updates from Meghan and Harry’s tour as we get them.
The post Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have received their first baby gift, and it’s very appropriate appeared first on Marie Claire.
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Because everything old is new again, scrunchies, headbands, and claws are back in style and being offered as hair accessories for grown women, and I can’t wait to hear readers’ thoughts on them. I know some people have always been Team Scrunchie; I myself have always been Team Claw (and of course, the old black Ouchless elastic I wear on my wrist pretty much every waking hour). But there are strong opinions about this! Are you going to give headbands a whirl in 2018? Are some of the more decorative options (like the goldish star claw) just not appropriate for most women over a certain age (like 16)? For those of you who have strong opinions FOR hair accessories, which stores make the best hair accessories in terms of comfort, durability, price, look, etc?
Psst: our last poll on what kind of hair accessories are appropriate for the office … in 2009!
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(Pictured above, all from Free People because I happened to be browsing the site: kimono clip / scrunchie / claw / headband. And for those of you who are on Team Drugstore Elastic, do you prefer Goody Ouchless or Scünci? Has anyone tried “Amazon choice” of Munax?)
For my $ .02, I probably will give headbands a whirl again — but only with ones I already own. I’ll probably skip the scrunchies just because I don’t think my round face shape looks particularly great with a low ponytail, and I feel like that’s where scrunchies excel. I’ve always like claws for comfort and an easy half-up-do or (with a huge claw) a French twist — but those tend to be bad hair days for me so I probably don’t want to try more attention to my hair with something really decorative.
Ladies, let’s hear from you — what are your thoughts on hair accessories for grown women? What looks do you wear the most for work and play — what products are you excited about to be back in style?
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