Choose Classics When the Trends Don’t Work

V-necklines are prolific this season. They are all over tops, knitwear, dresses and jumpsuits. It’s high time fashion made a statement with them because they’ve been scarce at retail for years. I am THRILLED for those who enjoy wearing V-necks. They are visually fabulous on larger busts, shorter necks, shorter waists, broader shoulders and petites. No matter how often I see it, I’m regularly in awe at how magically a V-neckline can minimize the size of the bust and lengthen the neck.

The V-neckline trend might be great for you, but it’s not for me. I have the opposite of the body type that wears V-necks well: a regular bust, regular waist, narrow shoulders and a very long neck. My short hair makes my neck look even longer. The higher the neckline, the better it’s suited to my body type. I can wear a V-neckline when it’s a structured shirt collar with a few of the top buttons left open, because the collar adds coverage to my long neck and shoulder neck point, especially when I pop the collar.

As I’m refreshing my wardrobe for Spring and Summer, I’m rejecting all sorts of potentially fabulous on-trend tops and dresses because their V-necklines are deal-breakers (unless they are shirt collars). The V-neck trend is against me, so it’s on to plan B. Reverting back to classics.

I enjoy modern classics full stop. And many of their necklines work well with my body type. This season I’m back in classic silk and cotton blouses, body-con knit tops, and pullovers with polo collars — all of which I haven’t worn for ages as I favoured more trendy styles. I’m thoroughly enjoying my new classic tops because they’ve changed things up, and layer well under jackets in arctic air conditioning. The collection below shows the exact items I’ve bought to refresh my tops capsule with for Spring & Summer.

The fluid cotton and cashmere crew neck pullovers in the collection are classics I wear every season despite trends. These versions are shorter because that’s how fashion is at the moment. That trendy detail is fine because shorter tops work well with exposed high rises and skirts, both of which I wear and enjoy.

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The Kid Question: Have You Ever Felt Like You Needed to Choose Between Kids and Career?

stock photo of pregnant career woman

An older friend was reminiscing recently about the ’70s and ’80s, when a woman who had a career generally had to either decide NOT to have kids or, if they were determined to become a mom, find a way to make it work somehow. I suppose it doesn’t sound so strange to write it out here — sure, everyone makes choices — but there was a darkness to her tone that struck me, an underlayer of “If you really need to have kids, you can, but your career will suffer and you’ll never see your kids anyway — so if you were a ‘working woman’ first or someone who wanted a big career, you wouldn’t have kids back then.” (She never had kids, but had several long and successful careers.) I thought we’d talk about it today, decades away from the time she was talking about… what messages have you received about kids and career, and have you ever felt like you needed to choose between the two? If you’ve ever pondered motherhood, did you feel like your career would be constrained to any extent by having kids? 

Here are some things to discuss regarding the The Kid Question for working women:

  • For everyone: What messaging have you received about The Kid Question? What have you felt is “expected of you” (by your family/friends/education/office culture)? Which doors have you left open, which have you gone through, and which have you shut, whether mentally or physically?
  • For younger women: How much do you think the message “Make a choice: motherhood OR your career” is still an issue for women today? 
  • For working moms: What has surprised you about the sacrifices that working mothers have to make? What have been your best strategies or tools for juggling motherhood and a career (flexible work arrangements, long maternity leaves, options to lean out/on-ramp)? (Coincidentally, over at CorporetteMoms today I’m sharing my top tips on how to find balance as a working mom…)
  • For women without kids, either by choice or circumstance: How has the lack of kids affected your career? What would you advise younger women?

As for me, I think the messaging around career and motherhood has changed significantly — I saw a lot of working mothers in both the magazine world and the legal world, and I never really questioned whether I could have both a career and kids. I did think life would be crazy… but like Finals Week crazy. Intense periods of stress, but mostly doable. That said, I do know of at least one friend my age who did make career choices based on her desire to be a mother — she went for her MBA in her late 20s and was considering becoming an investment banker, but was steered away from that track because she told her advisers she also wanted to have kids a year or two after graduating. (If memory serves she had her son right after graduation, so she may have even been pregnant when these discussions were happening.)

Now, as a mom of two kids, I’ll say that it’s way crazier and that the crazy is more prolonged than I had expected. (There was a whole “Mommy Effect” study that found that a lot of moms-to-be have an unrealistic view of what life as a working mom will be like.) I also feel like the decision to have kids means you step away from what is plannable or even knowable to a certain extent — you step away from clear goalposts and milestones in a career sense and move at your own pace, which may be faster or slower depending on your family situation. (As I write this, the question of equity comes to mind — do men who want or expect to be fathers have to step away from clear goalposts and milestones? Do they walk into parenthood expecting to make any sacrifices, and even with equal parenting, do male parents make equal sacrifices? Might be an interesting discussion to have with the guys in your life.)

Let’s hear from you, ladies — what does The Kid Question look like to you now? Do you feel like you have to sacrifice kids for career, to any extent in 2019? If you’re a working mom, what choices and sacrifices have you made? If you don’t have kids yet but plan to, what choices and sacrifices do you expect to make?

Stock photo via Shutterstock / NotarYES.

The post The Kid Question: Have You Ever Felt Like You Needed to Choose Between Kids and Career? appeared first on Corporette.com.

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Would You Let Your Besties Choose Your Date? This New App Gives Your Friends Control Over Your Love Life

Young athletic couple looking at a smart phone before or after running or jogging

Source: tdub303 / Getty

How much do you trust your besties? Enough that you would let them pick your next date? New dating app “Ship” allows friends to pick potential matches for each other.

The idea is that your closest friends know you better than you may know yourself.

Aleen Kuperman, Jordana Abraham and Samantha Fishbein, creators of the meme account Betches, created the app to help daters have assistance in their mate selection process.

Dating apps are a huge part of today’s dating culture and people in relationships are begging their single friends to let them swipe for them,” the Betches founders said to The Independent. 

“We felt like there could be a better way to incorporate your friends into your online dating experience,” Kuperman, Jordan, and Fishbein explain.

While the founders believe that getting your friends to dictate your dating decisions is a noble idea, dating coach James Preece thinks it may be a bad idea, considering we may tell our friends what we want versus what we need.

“Our friends know what we tell them,” Preece described.

“What we say we want, what we think we want, what we need and what we can get are all completely different things,” he expressed, meaning our friends may not be able to accurately guess our tastes.

The app also has an option where you can invite your friends into a “crew,” where everyone can swipe on each other’s behalf.

In theory, choosing dates for your friends sounds fun, but proceed with caution. Your friends could be choosing traits for you that they like, that have nothing to do with your own personal preferences. Dating and relationships psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantree says that your friends may choose dates for you based on their own agenda.

“The more open and honest you are to your friends about who you are and what you are looking for, the greater the chance of success you’ll have on this app,” Roantree told The Independent. 

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‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ book publisher sues Netflix for $25M over ‘Bandersnatch’

Choose your own adventure Netflix

The big gimmick associated with Netflix’s buzzy Black Mirror movie Bandersnatch is that it’s very much a choose your own adventure kind of production. Viewers are presented with choices as the movie about a programmer working on a video game progresses, with the filmmakers reportedly having shot some 5 hours of footage to encompass all the potential alternatives that viewers can select.

Here’s one that neither the filmmakers nor Netflix likely hoped for, though. The book publisher behind the popular series of Choose Your Own Adventure books for kids has slapped Netflix with a $ 25 million lawsuit, claiming the Bandersnatch movie and its marketing infringes on the publisher’s arguably very well known trademark brand.

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‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ book publisher sues Netflix for $ 25M over ‘Bandersnatch’ originally appeared on BGR.com on Fri, 11 Jan 2019 at 23:07:15 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.


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‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ is Suing Netflix Over ‘Bandersnatch’

If you thought Netflix’s Black Mirror: Bandersnatch was a lot like those Choose Your Own Adventure Books we read as kids, you’re not alone.

Chooseco LLC, which owns the rights to the Choose Your Own Adventure series of books is suing Netflix over Black Mirror: Bandersnatch, because the program “infringes on trademarks,” Variety reports. The publisher is seeking at least $ 25 million in damages.

Netflix was allegedly in negotiations with Chooseco to get the rights to the book series, rights that it did not acquire.

In the show, one of the characters even goes as far as to say it’s “It’s a Choose Your Own Adventure Book.”

And Chooseco isn’t the only one that could potentially sue Netflix over the program. 20th Century Fox is the owner of the movie rights to the series of books and also did not consent to the show.

In addition to Bandersnatch, Netflix also recently released a new original film, “BirdBox.” That film set a record for the streaming service, with more than 45 million accounts watching the film during its first week of availability.

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Netflix faces lawsuit over ‘Black Mirror’ and ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’

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Black Mirror: Bandersnatch is on the receiving end of a lawsuit from the owners of “Choose Your Own Adventure” books.

Chooseco, LLC trademarked “Choose Your Own Adventure” in the 1980s and has sold hundreds of millions of books using the branding ever since. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Chooseco reported that Netflix sought to acquire this trademark but was never granted the license. 

Per an excerpt of the official complaint, via THR:

Indeed, the phrase “choose your own adventure” has been almost inextricably linked to Bandersnatch, either through Netflix’s own efforts or the mark’s ubiquity as established by Chooseco. The company has filed for at least $ 25 million for “infringement, dilution, and unfair competition” and demands that Netflix remove any “choose your own adventure” references relating to Bandersnatch. Chooseco wants to be distanced from the darkness and morbidity of Black Mirror (honestly, so do we). Read more…

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How to Choose to Be Happy

how to choose to be happy

Here’s a lifestyle question for today: For those of you who think there’s a “choice” component to happiness, what are your best tips on how to choose to be happy? For example, a friend of a friend recently shared this Facebook post about a 92-year-old, legally-blind woman moving into a nursing home, and I thought this part was fascinating:

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. “Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room …. just wait.” “That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.” (author unknown

Fabulous! I am definitely not a model of happiness — progress, not perfection, right? — but something I do personally is to only allow myself a set period of time to be angry in close personal relationships. With my husband, for example, I get three days to be actively angry about something (possibly in a passive way), and after that, I need to reassess and either a) let it go or b) take active steps to change whatever made me angry to start to move forward. It’s important to note that he’s a very mild, easygoing guy, and we don’t have a huge, strife-filled relationship — I just remember my grandmother in her 90s still angry and complaining about things my grandfather had done (or not done) when they were in their 20s. So I made an active choice when we decided to get married to not hold on to anger or disappointment like that or let myself wallow in it. But I suppose this story just illustrates another possibility for discussion: What IS happiness to you? Is it a “freedom from __” kind of situation (anger, anxiety, regret, sadness, stress), or something else — balance, ease, contentment? Progress, growth? (Here’s a question that’s sure to be a minefield, but I can’t stop myself from asking it: How can you be happy AND informed about politics and world events?)

So readers, let’s hear from you: How are you choosing to be happy? Do you keep a list of your accomplishments or praise to look through when you’re feeling down? Is happiness one of the main reasons you engage in self-care like meditation, exercise, social engagements, or alone time? For those of us who are happiness-challenged, what have you found success with? 

Stock photo via Stencil.

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Which plane seats you should choose

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Let’s be honest; nobody really loves flying. For most people, it’s a necessity to meet the cross-country business client, it’s a handy way to travel to your next vacation spot, or it’s just an excuse to get out of another 9-hour drive. For us, flying is quicker. And because there is such a high demand, airlines and airports rush to turn their flights around as quickly as possible. This means cabin crew and cleaners may have as little as 30 minutes to get their plane spick and span before the next customers climb on board. Unless they’re a speedy cleaner (lucky you) this may be pretty difficult, leaving our plane seats pretty dirty. But which ones are the dirtiest and why?

First class perks

It’s no secret that the service in the first class area of the plane is…well, First Class! With extra space, delicious food, exceptional service and more… First Class is definitely the place to be if you can afford it. However, it turns out that First Class has another perk – the cleanest seats on the plane. Because airlines pride themselves on their First Class areas and hope for more and more customers to upgrade to and maintain their First Class status, they spend more time cleaning these areas than they do the economy areas. During their quick turnaround, premium seats always receive a quick once-over with a vacuum, and they also make sure they wipe each window and tray table with a sanitary wipe after each flight. The rich guys get all the perks, ey?

Economy seats

Unfortunately, those who can’t afford First Class seats have to sit in economy – with the dirtier seats. Many airlines have confirmed that they spend a significantly shorter time tending to the seats in this part of the plane. Because of the sometimes short turn-around, cabin crew and cleaners will only undertake basic cleaning routines. For shorter turnarounds, the cleaning team members will remove the obvious trash that adorns the floors and seats, will give the toilets a quick once-over, will wipe large crumbs off the economy seats, and restock all of their dwindling supplies. However, they do not have time to probe each individual seat, which is why you may often find a coffee ring stain on your tray table or a candy wrapper in your seatback pockets. If the plane and cleaning crew have longer to get the plane ready for their next passengers, they may vacuum the floor, and empty these pockets, but that is it.

So what don’t they clean?

Nobody really likes using the plane toilets, but sometimes this just can’t be avoided! However, when you go to use the bathroom, you’d like to think of it being freshly cleaned, and the waste tank is emptied. Nope, this doesn’t happen. Because of the size of waste tanks, planes can often fly numerous short-haul flights before the waste tank needs emptying – which could be the reason there’s always that slightly unsavory smell permeating from the toilet. Alongside this, the tray tables and armrests are left uncleaned. A recent study of plane bacteria has found that the dirtiest place on an airplane is the tray table in front of you, with the remains of numerous food products and bacteria from other people before you. Yummy!

The deep clean

Once a plane settles down for the night, large-scale cleaning crews come to clean the plane properly, from top to bottom. During this night-clean, they wipe down all of the entertainment systems and screens, the tray tables, the armrests and even empty out the seat pockets AND vacuum the floors and chairs. These crews also replace all of the pillows and blankets on board, and thoroughly clean and disinfect the toilet and the galleys.

So if you want the cleanest plane and the cleanest seat, the first flight of the day will be your best bet…Especially if you get the joy of flying First Class.

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A new study of survey data finds that only a minority of parents choose not to immunize their children against the sexually transmitted human papillomavirus (HPV) due to concerns that vaccination would encourage or support youth sexual activity, a reason frequently cited by doctors as a barrier to advocating for this vaccine.
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