Cybersecurity firms say high-tech upgrades, self-driving tech make new cars easy targets for hackers

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11 Easy Ways to Be More Likeable

I’m a big believer in being myself but sometimes, it can really help to get through life more easily and to get what you want if you adapt in a certain way so you become more likeable.

So first of all, what’s a likeable person and what are their traits? Likeable people are often considered down-to-earth, open, authentic, interested, self-deprecating, trustworthy, and a bunch of other things. Usually, they’re warm and emotionally stable people that others want to be around.

So are you a likeable person? The first thing to consider is that if you think about this question, you’re probably too hard on yourself. Four university studies found that people often underestimated how much their conversation partner liked them. So you’re probably already more likeable than you think you are, however, there is always room for improvement.

11 Easy Ways To Become More Likeable

Social Media platforms
Social Media platforms

1.Be Yourself!

I know it’s a super cliche answer but sometimes, the person you want to be doesn’t line up with the person you actually are. The perfect example is social media; the way people portray themselves on Instagram or in Facebook rarely matches the real-life circumstances. We spend a lot of time and energy trying to get people to like who you want to be rather than who you actually are, you may come off as insecure and unreal.

Often, people can sense this and they want to know the real genuine authentic you, not the idealized version. So let them see the real you even though at times that might seem embarrassing, it really helps to increase your likability because people can relate better with you and they don’t put you on a pedestal that is just an ideal of everything that they can’t have because obviously, they know about the things that are not perfect in their own lives and they like to see it in others.

Have a few conversation starters ready
Have a few conversation starters ready

2. Learn Great Conversation Starters

Other people will be relieved that they don’t have to start the conversation. Those could be things like “Did you choose your profession or did your professions choose you?” or maybe “What makes you laugh the most?”. Having a few good starter questions ready every time before you attend a social event will make you more secure and you will probably end up having more good conversations. It will also avoid awkward moments and people will thank you for it because they know when they talk to you, it’s never embarrassing or strange.

Accept a compliment gracefully
Accept a compliment gracefully

3. Give Out Compliments

Most people think a lot more about themselves than others do think about them. So they may put a lot of effort into a hairstyle, their outfits, or the way they dress but others won’t even notice it. So by picking up on something that is special about a person and by complimenting them on it makes you instantly more likeable.

Why? Well, you actually stand out from the crowd because you noticed something others don’t and it flatters the other person and honestly, who doesn’t want to be flattered? That being said, it’s best not to comment on body parts or ideally, things that people can’t change anything about. Instead, compliment them on something they do or they did.

Denying a compliment is never appropriate
Denying a compliment is never appropriate

4. Accept Compliments Gracefully

Often, when people are complimented, they don’t know how to respond. They try to diminish the compliment. Instead, you should accept it gracefully. What does it mean specifically? All you need to do is to say thank you and smile.

Ellen DeGeneres during a taping of The Ellen DeGeneres Show in 2011 in Burbank, Calif.

5. Show Some Self-Deprecating Humor

The perfect way to utilize humor to become more likeable without distancing others is to use self-deprecating humor. So what does it mean? Just make fun about yourself. That means, maybe share weird things about you or share a time when you look like a loser or when you did something that looks really stupid. I know it seems weird and hard but by doing that and getting other people to laugh about it, they will instantly like you more.

Another good way to add self-deprecating humor is to compare yourself to others so you can say “Oh wow you’re just twenty-two when you’re running your own business; when I was 22, my mom did my laundry for me”. That way, you put yourself in a light that lets others shine and that makes you instantly more likeable even though you may feel like you look like a loser.

In my opinion, a master of self-deprecating humor is Ellen DeGeneres. She utilizes this technique all the time in her show and people love her so next time you watch that show, pay attention to it and you will see how she utilizes it to become instantly more likeable.

Listen
Listen

6. Listen!

So far, we all talked about active steps you can take but one of the easiest way to become more likeable is to really in genuinely listen to what other people say. No, if you’re just waiting for the other person to finish before you can give your reply, you’re not actively listening. Actively listening means that you comprehend what they’re saying that you repeat what they’re saying and that you later follow up with a question pertaining to it so they really know that you listened and also cared.

So always try to paraphrase what people said in a quick way without going into too much detail. You can also have follow-up questions that show that you comprehended what was said and you just keep the conversation going. In general, people like to feel like they’re heard and understood and by actively listening, you achieve exactly that. An even bigger step is not just to listen but to act on what someone just said.

Ask smart questions
Ask smart questions

7. Ask Questions

It goes slightly into the same vein as the active listening but more questions keep a conversation going and the more smart questions you ask, the more understood and heard the other person feels and the more they feel taken care of and comfortable in your presence.

two men having a conversation
two men having a conversation

8. Be Vulnerable

Most people engage in small talk but small talk doesn’t allow you to really be vulnerable and it’s not well-suited to get to know someone. Mostly, it’s just tedious and boring and frankly, it can be much harder than having a genuine conversation about things that actually mean something to people. So try to stop yourself from engaging in small talk and get real.

That means you can be a leader in a conversation who dives deeper first without waiting for the other person to expose themselves or show a vulnerability. Of course, this has to be a gradual process. If you tell people about your financial problems the first time they meet you, they think of you as being weird. So a good starter question that I always use is “What do you do when you don’t work?”. Most people have the impulse to tell me what their job is because that’s what they usually hear but then it usually takes a second for them to realize I’m actually asking about their passions and you can see a little smile, they’ll light up and they tell me more about the things they like to do.

Now, that is a first step to create a connection, to create something where they feel they can share with me and usually, they have an interest in it so they don’t get tired of talking about it. Once we’re at that step, you can ask deeper and deeper questions and that way, you have a conversation that is quite meaningful and both people will walk away without feeling like they wasted their time and that they were bored.

Always keep in mind, people love to talk about their passions and not so much about their insecurities yet everyone has them and by opening up and sharing your struggles and your insecurities, you become instantly more relatable and thus likeable.

9. Minimize Complaining

We all feel like we want to complain every once in a while and that’s okay, however, if you complain constantly, you carry a negative aura with you and others don’t want to be around you because you just bring them down or make them feel bad. So what if you just have a natural negative outlook in life and that’s simply who you are? Well, in that case, I suggest you try to flip it around and try to see the positive things and frankly, if sometimes that’s too hard and you can’t find anything nice to say, it’s better not to say anything at all.

Pitti Uomo 82
Pitti Uomo 82

10. Make Everyone Feel Included

If you have a group conversation, there’s usually someone who speaks a lot more than someone else. If you pick up on that and you notice that someone is being quiet or just alone, it really pays to loop them back into the conversation by asking them a question.

Sven Raphael Schneider in White Tie keeping it real
Sven Raphael Schneider in White Tie keeping it real

11. Embrace A Positive Attitude

It makes sense to embrace a positive attitude because other people will like to be around you because it makes them feel positive. Usually, positive people uplift other people and don’t drain their energy. Sometimes, just reminding yourself of that is all it takes to be more positive.

Finally, it’s only fair to acknowledge that people have their own will and chances are some people will never like you and that’s okay. In those cases, it’s best not to focus on things you can’t change but the things you can do. If you apply these eleven tips in your social life, I guarantee you, you will be more liked.

So what are your secret tips to become more likeable? Please share with us in the comments and give us a thumbs up.


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Outfit Formula: Easy Velvet Pants

Velvet pants are a classic for the holidays. That said, it’s soon to be 2019 and these days velvet is an everyday fabric too. Heck, most retailers are styling velvet pants with sneakers, sweatshirts and oversized pullovers. No need to save velvet pants for the end of the year or evening settings. Dress them up or down and just wear them. 

Here are four easy ways to style velvet pants that are a little different from the norm. A much warmer option for Winter than a skimpy sleeveless dress that tradition insists we wear at this time of year.

1. Black & Musical Grey

Combine a pair of black velvet pants with a UNIQUE grey pullover that sings to the pants. The black bow and sleeve vent on the pullover makes the outfit here. Simple but not basic, and that’s key. Black classic loafers effectively bookend the model’s hair. Add knee-highs or trouser socks for warmth.

Halogen Tie Waist Velvet Pants

2. Pattern Mixed

Combining three patterns within the same palette creates visual harmony. Mismatched, but not as jarring. The combination is an acquired taste, but worth a go if you fancy the effect. Winter florals are fun to wear too. Add knee-highs or trouser socks for warmth.

Hobbs Passionflower Velvet Pants

3. Red & Cream

Combine red velvet pants with a white or cream support act. Think Winter white top, topper and boots instead of the usual black. The pullover here is slouchy and casual, but feel free to sport a dressier version. A good one for blondes, and my favourite of the four.

Redone Velvet Kick Flare Cropped Trousers

4. Magical Merlot

Combine a pair of burgundy velvet pants with black top and shoes, and layer a Winter white topper over the lot. These flares are not for snowy and wet weather unless you’re chauffeured to the doorstep. Of course, the colour combination works as well for tapered velvet pants.

Mango Flared Velvet Trousers

I have a new pair of mustardy-chartreuse velvet pants from Boden that I had altered on the waist and hips to fit perfectly. I love them because they’re bright and different. I’m wearing them as regular day-to-day pants because why not! They are extremely well made, do not bag out, are toasty warm, and look luxe. They’re a nice alternative to jeans and very comfortable. I like them best with a cream, blush, and watermelon support act. I have an old chartreuse coat and scarf that tone in well with the pants although the colours look off in the stock photos. Here are the pants and the exact items I’ve been wearing with them so far. Go Team Velvet Pants.

NOTE: Some rich content in this post was omitted because it isn’t supported by the feed. Please visit the post on youlookfab.com to see the additional content.


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These 11 Easy DIY Alternatives Will Save You Money on Household Products

The older I get, the more I realize how much I’ve been duped into buying items I don’t need.

I thought I needed specific store-bought products until years of being broke forced me to find affordable DIY alternatives. I learned to forgo some items all together.

Seeking out other options for expensive household products can save you money and make a dent in your bottom line over time.

Affordable DIY Alternatives for 11 Household Items

Edge these items off your grocery list and put more money in your pocket with cheaper substitutes — or by doing a little DIY experimentation.

Deodorant

A person holds a lemon outside near a plant.
Lemons can work as a deodorant, but they do not block perspiration. Tina Russell/The Penny Hoarder

I didn’t waste money on deodorant for years because I didn’t need it. Why buy something I didn’t need?

Well… I did need it eventually and found an inexpensive natural alternative that blew my mind.

Lemons work as a natural deodorant. Citric acid kills bacteria and odor, plus this method is 100% natural.

Dice up the lemon into wedges and rub the juice side of the wedge on your armpit. Get the whole area wet. One wedge should work for both sides.  It doesn’t take much, and the same wedge can be used until it dries out, which can be days or more than a week.

You can use fresh or overripe lemons. Experiment to find what size works for you. They will not stop you from sweating because they’re not antiperspirant.

Pro tip: Do not apply after a fresh shave, ladies. It’s painful and might cause irritation. Trust me.

Not into lemons? Try Crystal brand mineral deodorant. One stone costs around $ 3 and can last for a year.

Mouthwash

A person makes saltwater.
Dissolve table salt into a glass of water for a mouthwash replacement. Tina Russell/The Penny Hoarder

A name-brand bottle of mouthwash costs between $ 5 and $ 10. A saltwater rinse costs a few cents. Mix table salt with warm water and you have the cheapest mouthwash around.

Or try apple cider vinegar, a common homemade mouthwash before over-the-counter mouthwashes became popular. Use two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar and one cup of filtered water.

Another solution is right in your medicine cabinet for a fraction of the cost: hydrogen peroxide.

Look closely at the bottle, which says, “oral debriding agent” right on the front. This means it is safe to put in your mouth as an oral wound cleanser. On the back, you’ll find debriding instructions. You basically dilute with water and swish for a minute.

You should use the water and peroxide mixture immediately, and don’t save any leftover solution.

Hana Rashid, a dentist in Roseville, California, said she loves to gargle and swish with peroxide, especially when she has a cold or sore throat.

It helps reduce inflammation in the mouth and keep bleeding from gum disease down between visits, she says. The burning or bubbling sensation means it’s working to calm inflammation.

“It is not an unsafe mouthwash, but care must be taken not to swallow large amounts,” she said.

Peroxide is the main ingredient in tooth-whitening products, so if left too long, Rashid warned, it can temporarily bleach your gums, lasting about 20 to 30 minutes.  

Swishing with peroxide will yield similar results as expensive mouthwash, but it won’t taste great.

“I like to use essential oils, like peppermint, cinnamon bark and clove in water,” she said.

Try mixing peroxide with baking soda for your own whitening paste and skip buying whitening strips while you’re at it.

Shaving Cream

A bar of soap is photographed with a razor.
Bar soap can be used as a replacement for shaving cream. Tina Russell/The Penny Hoarder

I stopped using shaving cream years ago.

I simply sub in bar soap or hair conditioner.

Most of us have a nearly empty bottle of conditioner occupying precious shower real estate. Use up that sad vessel next time you shave. You’ll wonder why you bought shaving cream all these years.

Conditioner and bar soap aren’t ideal for facial shaves, so try substitutes like shave soap or aloe vera. One $ 3 bar of shave soap can last more than six months.

For aloe vera, apply directly from the plant to your face, or use an affordable gel. It works great as an aftershave, too. Its anti-inflammatory properties reduce razor burn and irritation.  I have a garden full of the stuff, so it’s a freebie for me. Consider planting some!

Cleaning Rags

It took years before I figured out that I didn’t need to buy cleaning rags. (Don’t be mad at yourself for not realizing this sooner.)

Use old undershirts, leftover fabric and any clothes unfit for donation.

Tear or cut them — careful to remove any buttons — into pieces. They last longer that way, and you’ll have an endless supply to fit your cleaning needs. Toss them in the wash and reuse until they reach retirement age.

As for that orphaned sock, put your hand inside and use it to remove dust. Wash, repeat.

Paper Towels

A stack of dish towels are photographed.
Try using dish towels and wash cloths instead of paper towels. Tina Russell/The Penny Hoarder

This one is really hard to quit. Paper towels are so integrated into our daily lives that we hardly notice how many we use for tasks such as cleaning up spills, wiping greasy paws or picking up dead bugs.

My usage greatly decreased when I invested $ 12 in a set of 12 cloth napkins. I use one multiple times before washing (unless I’m extra messy) and always have extra for guests.  

This one move significantly reduced the volume of paper towels I went through and freed up a little room in my grocery budget.

A coworker said she likes to use cheap fabric from Goodwill and repurposes old tablecloths as napkins instead of buying paper towels.

When it comes to spills or hand drying, use wash cloths and dish towels, or something from that old T-shirt rag pile. You’ll be surprised at how little you need paper towels.

Makeup Remover

A person squirts jojoba oil onto her fingertips.
Jojoba oil can be used to remove eye makeup. Tina Russell/The Penny Hoarder

There are makeup removing wipes, creams, pads, cloths and an assortment of accessories to clean your face at the end of the day.

Stocking up on these not only takes up space, but they steal valuable budget dollars from more important items.

Jojoba, olive and coconut oil remove makeup.

These one-ingredient wonders last for months, have a multitude of uses and take up little space. You might even have one of them in your home already. Most oils do the trick, so try something that works best for you.

If oil isn’t an option for you, try aloe vera, alcohol-free witch hazel, shea butter, a cotton ball dipped in milk or a cucumber slice to remove makeup.

Bathtub Cleaner

I have tried so many bathroom cleaners. None of them quite works right.

Once I tried to strong-arm tub stains by combining all the cleaners I had. That dangerous concoction was a terribly unsafe idea that didn’t work, either.

Did you know that you can use a grapefruit or lemon juice to clean your bathtub?

Get your tub wet. Cut a grapefruit in half and sprinkle salt on the exposed part. Start scrubbing! Use this technique on sinks and faucets.

Lemon juice with a scrub brush yields a similar result. The acidity of both fruit eats through scum and leaves your bathroom smelling naturally fresh (and not like a chemical bomb).

If you wanna skip the fruit scrubs, try one of these cheap DIY cleaner recipes or a homemade cleaning product  to get the job done.

Dryer sheets

Wool dryer balls are pictured on a pile of laundry. They naturally help keep clothes soft and static-free without using dryer sheets.
Sharon Steinmann/The Penny Hoarder

Dryer sheets are a common laundry additive that you just don’t need. They’re a single-use product far from waste-free, and full of chemicals.

I stopped using them years ago and don’t miss ’em one bit. If you don’t need them, don’t use ’em.

However, if you live in a dry climate or are a static magnet, then try wool dryer balls instead of dryer sheets.

They’re good for thousands of uses, reduce static cling and wrinkles and speed up drying time. Not to mention they’re cheap, nontoxic and chemical-free.

WD-40

A coconut oil cooking spray is photographed.
Cooking spray can be used as a replacement for WD40. Tina Russell/The Penny Hoarder

You know what you have in your home and works just like WD-40? Cooking spray.

Yup, I use cooking spray anywhere I would WD-40.

It greases sticky locks and creaky doors and unsticks gum. You can also use Crisco or a homemade concoction of cooking oils if that’s what you have on hand.

Fabric Softener

Remember when we talked about that nearly empty conditioner bottle earlier?  If you don’t want use it to shave, consider repurposing it as a fabric softener.

Try this homemade fabric-softener recipe by mixing two cups of conditioner, three cups of white vinegar, six cups of water and adding any essential oils you like (optional), and voilà; you just saved yourself from buying overpriced fabric softener.

Stain Remover

Dawn dish soap is photographed with an old white shirt.
Dawn dish soap can be used to get rid of stains. Tina Russell/The Penny Hoarder

Not all stains are created equal. Removing them is an art form unless you have blue Dawn dish soap. That’s the secret ingredient in most DIY stain removers.

Most DIY recipes have a variation of peroxide, baking soda and water. Maybe you’ll learn  a personal favorite (do tell), but try this mom’s “miracle cleaner” that works on carpet, clothes and upholstery to get you started.

How excited are you to try all this home?

Next time you’re at the store, don’t forget to smile when you pass all the items you don’t need to buy anymore.

Stephanie Bolling is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder. She may have reached granola status.
Read her full bio here or say hi On Twitter @StephBolling.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

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The Saintly Sister Who Found Art and God in The Big Easy

Handout from Jason Berry’s collection

In 1957, the state of Louisiana built a four-lane vertical lift bridge on North Main InfoClaiborne Avenue over Industrial Canal, streamlining access from New Orleans’ Lower Ninth Ward, a vast semi-rural area of mostly poor people. That year, two African American evangelists moved downriver to the Lower Nine, and Sister Gertrude Morgan became a Bride of Christ. She wrote:

He has taken me out of the black robe and crowned me out in white.

We are now in revelation, he married me, I’m his wife.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

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Outfit Formula: Easy Black Pants with Grey and Blue

It’s a challenge to make a simple pair of black pants feel fresh, especially when they’re a staple for the office. Adding key, on-trend components, like white boots, sneakers, Western elements, longer blazers, statement plaid, and a flared pant silhouette are some of the ways my clients are preventing black-pant-outfit boredom without breaking the bank. 

Here are four easy renditions:

1. Blazer & Sneakers

When flares like bootcuts were on trend a while ago, it was all the rage to wear them with pointy-toe heels. Although a beautifully elegant combination that I adore and will personally continue to wear, it’s much more 2018 to wear flares with flats (like sneakers), a tucked top to showcase the fashionable high rise, and a blazer of sorts. That ‘90s longer length is on trend, but a shorter modern classic blazer is just fine. Feel free to add a blue blazer instead of grey, and any colour sneaker. Fabulous with cowboy boots too.

J Brand Velvet Joan High Rise Pants

2. Volume & Western Boots

Combine a pair of black culottes, wide crops or harem pants with a white top, and oversized grey or blue jacket. Wear the top tucked or untucked. Finish off the look with short cowboy booties or shooties. If Western booties aren’t your thing, choose black booties that are tailored on the ankle. A grey or navy top will look as fab.

Mango Flowy Straight-fit Trousers

3. Modern Classic & Polished

Combine a pair of black pants with black boots, a navy top and and a plaid topper of sorts. Choose a blazer instead of a coat if that’s more your thing. NICE to see full-length black pants here for a change. I like the exposure of the high rise, but you can wear the top over the bottoms.

Sandro Long Plaid Coat

4. Columned & White Boots

Create a column of colour with black pants and top. Layer a navy blazer or coat over the top, and finish off the vibe with white boots. No need to match the white boots with anything in the outfit. No need to have blonde or silver hair to bookend your look either. Just throw in the white boots and wear them! If that feels off – remember, you might need to get used to the jarring effect so give it some time. Failing that, build a white complement with white bag, scarf, top or belt. Add jewellery, eyewear and watch as desired.

STELLA MCCARTNEY Robin Cotton-corduroy Blazer


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