Have Your Parents Helped You In Your Career?

In the wake of the college admissions scandal, let’s discuss: Have your parents helped you in your career? A little or a lot? Were they involved in those first internships? Reminded you of deadlines or provided wake-up calls? If you have kids of your own, how does the way you plan to parent differ from the way your parents did?

I think most of us, having read all about some of the crazier parts of the scandal, would say NO, NEVER EVER. But I saw a fascinating article in Inc. Magazine titled “Please Stop Parenting Your Adult Children” that quoted a recent study USA Today had reported on, finding:

By the time kids are old enough for college and way beyond the point they should have graduated, parents — whether wealthy or not — are still doing things children can do for themselves. Such as:

  • 76 percent reminded their adult children of deadlines they need to meet, including for schoolwork
  • 74 percent made appointments for them, including doctor’s appointments
  • 15 percent of parents with children in college had texted or called them to wake them up so they didn’t sleep through a class or test. 

Oh. Well. If “snowplow parenting” includes bribing the tennis coach, thereby “plowing through” any and all obstacles, it’s an interesting question whether or not classic coddling counts as being in the same universe. For example, I kind of associate that level of coddling with older men — boomers or older — where their mothers did everything, from cooking, cleaning, laundry but absolutely acting like a personal assistant and arranging wake-up calls, personal care appointments (haircuts, etc.), reminding them of deadlines, and more. 

For my $ .02, I have always leaned heavily on my parents for advice and guidance, and I’m definitely guilty of using my mom as a personal assistant — she’s booked a zillion flights for me, although most of them were to visit her. Mom hasn’t called me for a wake-up call in a while (that’s what 4-year-olds are for!), but I definitely remember her calling to wake me up before the LSAT, and possibly even the bar exam, although by that point I may have figured out that if you ask the hotel for one, you don’t actually have to talk to anyone because it’s just a recording. (These things matter to introverts!)

As far as internships and other jobs go, I can honestly say my parents never made any connections for me or got me any jobs, even at a really young age — but their financial support obviously freed me to pursue unpaid internships and other experiences with little regard for money. 

{related: my first seven jobs

With my own kids… I don’t want to coddle them, but I do think some personality types require a push to achieve greatness, particularly with academic success — for example, the kid who coasts and easily gets a B+ when with a bit of attention and focus could get a much higher grade. It’s early days for that sort of stuff for my kids (almost 5 and 7), so we’ll see… but at this point it’s a hard no on bribing coaches. 

Readers, how about you — looking over the study data, would you include yourself in the 76% of people who’ve asked your parents to remind you of important deadlines, the 74% of people who’ve asked your parents to make appointments for you, or the 15% of people who’ve used Mom for a wake-up call? What else, now that you think about it, have your parents done to help your career? Where do you think the line exists between snowplow parenting and just garden variety coddling?

Stock photo via Stencil.

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Some Say Randy Credico Helped Steal the Presidency. I Stole His Book.

The Washington Post/Getty

I’ve lived for many years on the shore of a vast morass of scumbaggery and lunacy. Put another way, I know a lot of people involved in New York local politics. One piece of housing legislation I know about was derailed because a key sponsor was arrested for rape; another because the sponsor of the bill brought Pepperidge Farms Milano cookies the day of the vote, but the cookies ran out before they got to a crucial member, who voted no and commented afterwards, “Why didn’t I get a cookie?” I’m always hearing some horrifyingly preposterous or preposterously horrifying story. But my closest encounter with the morass was a time I myself behaved badly: when I stole a book from Randy Credico, a.k.a. Person Two in the Roger Stone indictment; and I think this episode has something to teach us about what it means to be alive in 2019, when the morass appears to be eating the free world.

Before we start, this was not my first outing as a book stealer. It was just my greatest feat as a book stealer; my Sistine chapel, my Mona Lisa. I’ve been stealing books since I was 18, when a guy let me leaf through his copy of The Master and Margarita, then left the room saying, “Don’t steal that book.” And before you close this in disgust: I know stealing books is a terrible thing. But it’s not as if I got involved in political dirty tricks with Roger Stone. Stealing books isn’t murder. It’s more on a par with whistling on the train.

Also, let it be entered into the record that Randy Credico is generally no saint. First, he’s a stand-up comedian from an era where Louis C.K. could pass as normal. In a documentary made about him, Sixty Spins Around the Sun, Randy can be seen tearing off his shirt as he boasts about his 19-year-old girlfriend. Also, even if we believe his claim that he wasn’t Roger Stone’s back channel to Wikileaks, he did work on several campaigns for Stone, sometimes doing robocalls in which he impersonated famous politicians. There was also a murky episode where Stone ret-conned his way into Love Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s fall from power and then reportedly left a message with Spitzer’s 83-year-old father saying “ …you will be arrested and brought to Albany and there’s not a goddamned thing your phony, psycho piece-of-shit son can do about it…” only to claim it was Randy impersonating him, which Randy denies—and there you have Randy’s relationship with Stone in a nutshell.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

The Daily Beast — Books


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The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air helped me find freedom in solitude and fashion

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air helped me find freedom in solitude and fashion

<em>The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air</em> helped me find freedom in solitude and fashion

February is Black History Month. Here, an HG contributor celebrates The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, one of the most prominent Black sitcoms of the ’90s, for how it made her a free spirit in her career, her style, and her way of life.

From the moment Will Smith stepped out of the yellow taxi cab and entered his new life in Bel-Air, it was obvious his transition would be anything but smooth sailing. With the exception of his younger cousin Ashley and his Aunt Vivian, no one seemed to embrace his colorful personality. The rest of his family didn’t understand him or the world he came from. In all honesty, they didn’t want to try to understand.

In the very first episode of the series, we already notice that Will speaks and dresses differently than everyone else. Soon, we also learn that he has a different perspective and different interests from almost everyone he meets in Bel-Air, too.

Will’s culture shock was essentially a reflection of my whole childhood.

While I was never uprooted from my urban, predominantly Black N.Y.C. neighborhood to live with my rich uncle in a predominantly white neighborhood, I always felt a deep connection to the struggles that Will encountered. He constantly tried to stay true to his identity while battling the expectations people had set for him based on his background. Within my own peer group,  I never really found my place. Then I enrolled in a predominantly white high school, and my struggle to find friends worsened.

I was always stuck somewhere between fitting in and standing out. And I hadn’t yet accepted that standing out always felt much more natural to me.

For the majority of my childhood I felt a dire need to do what everyone else was doing. Most children found pleasure in joining cliques and participating in “cool” extracurricular activities. I preferred being alone in a classroom during lunch and recess so I could listen to music. Time to myself was more important to me than time spent trying to fit in with others. Most girls danced and jumped Double Dutch after school, but I loved ceramics classes and poetry slams. I once joined the school dance team just to prove to myself that I could dance as well as my classmates and so that my parents would be happy—they always wanted me to do things they believed other girls my age should be doing.

But I had my own plans.

In the episode “Bang The Drum, Ashley,” Will’s penchant for self-expression quickly rubs off on his impressionable young cousin.

Ashley, the youngest member of the Banks clan, is the first person in the family with whom he truly bonds. Not long after meeting Will, she shares that she is unhappy with how her parents control her free time. Ashley has a packed schedule of extracurricular activities from violin lessons to tennis matches, and plenty of other activities that most 13-year-olds wouldn’t find remotely interesting. Will introduces her to the activities he enjoys, like rapping and playing the drums.

While Ashley doesn’t completely fall in love with the drums, she learns a vital lesson. For the first time in her life, she is able to tell her parents that she needs to do things that actually make her happy. The audience would never see a timid Ashley conform to her parents’ expectations again. Sure, her newfound freedom would get her in trouble sometimes (i.e. the Season 5 episode when she goes behind her parents’ backs and enrolls in public school). But it would also let her explore passions like singing.

If Will wasn’t inspiring other people to loosen up, his free spirit was evident in his style of dress.

When Will first enrolls in the all boys prep school, Bel-Air Academy, he is utterly disturbed by the stuffy uniforms that students have to wear. The thought of blending in drives him crazy. Will being Will, he flips the uniform’s navy blue blazer inside out, revealing a funky pattern and letting him feel more comfortable in a situation that forces him to be someone he isn’t. Soon, his willingness to stand out rubs off on others who copy his reversed jacket.

I always admired how Will used fashion to reflect his identity—even if it wasn’t the “appropriate” thing to do. From the moment Will showed up at the Banks’s residence in loud, brightly colored streetwear, he brightened the dull neighborhood of Bel-Air. When I was younger, what I really wanted to do was dress however my heart desired, just like Will did. But as an impressionable teen, it felt more important to keep up with the latest trends.

I remember sitting in my bedroom when I was 15 years old, feeling super unhappy because the clothes in my closet didn’t feel like mine. They were carbon copies of the people I thought I was supposed to look like. Desperate to break away from the crowd, I decided to revamp my clothes myself.

I distressed everything, and turned old jackets into cools vests by adding patches and cutting off sleeves. I even went so far as to teach myself DIY nail art and make my own clip-in hair extensions. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t have a rich uncle to bankroll my new fashion obsession—but it became a passion project instead. Eventually, like Will, I accepted that I was actually happiest when I could bring some flavor to my style—even if meant that my classmates raised their eyebrows at Mika 2.0.

But like Will in Fresh Prince, people soon embraced my uniqueness and wanted to emulate it.

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, which I learned as a 15-year-old trying to break out of a box I felt trapped in. When people were interested in my new style, I felt free—I had presented something different from the norm and, for the first time in my life, I could be proud of my differences—not embarrassed by them. Today, I still celebrate how my appearance exudes my personality. Whether I’m trying out bold makeup or wearing millions of prints, I feel my best when I’m not following trends.

When I embraced this freedom, I started uncovering parts of my identity that would essentially shape my adulthood. I started exploring my love of makeup and writing, which is now my career. Had I been focused on what everybody else—including my parents—wanted for me, I wouldn’t be the successful person that I am today.

In Fresh Prince, when Will was unapologetically himself, it often got him further than any of the other characters. Now, I feel the same way about my own life.

The post <em>The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air</em> helped me find freedom in solitude and fashion appeared first on HelloGiggles.



The Cute Way Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Kids Helped Celebrate Her 40th Birthday

Jennifer Love Hewitt Randy Holmes/ABC via Getty Images

Time to celebrate! Jennifer Love Hewitt’s kids helped the actress ring in her 40th birthday in a super sweet way.

“This made my heart explode with love and gratitude this morning!” the 9-1-1 star wrote on Instagram on Thursday, February 21. “My kids made me a cake and crown for the big day! They had help from a beautiful bday fairy @theshavs and I am super grateful.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt Courtesy of Jennifer Love Hewitt/Instagram

In the photo, Hewitt showed off a two-tier cake covered in chocolate frosting, rainbow sprinkles and candles. Next to the sweet treat was a white crown covered in stickers, sequins and pom-poms. The crafted crown tied together in the back with a striped ribbon.

The Golden Globe nominee, who shares Autumn, 5, and Atticus, 3, with her husband, Brian Hallisay, sported the homemade accessory on her Instagram Story that same day in a selfie.

Hewitt posted another selfie that same morning, writing, “This is 40! Today I am joyful, lucky, healthy, I have the greatest kids, the most amazing husband, incredible friends, a job I love and deep gratitude for this beautiful thing called life! I am 40. I feel 22. Today is my 30th birthday as an actress and Californian girl. Wow.”

The singer told Us Weekly exclusively in August 2018 that she has a hard time spending time apart from her little ones when she’s working on the 9-1-1 set.

“[It is] much tougher on me. I just miss them,” she said at the time. “I’m just not used to being away for all those hours, so I just miss them.”

She added: “My daughter thinks that work is the coolest thing she’s ever seen. She loves the craft service truck. My son got to run around the lot, like, go into ‘New York,’ go up and down the stairs and take a picture in front of the police station, which he thought was super cool. So, they’re doing great. It’s just me who’s a sap in my trailer, like, ‘Why can’t I see my babies?’”

Us Weekly


How Taylor Swift helped Lupita Nyong’o survive a hard time

PARK CITY, Utah — One song holds a special place in Lupita Nyong’o’s heart: “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift. “‘Shake It Off’ means a lot to me,” the “Black Panther” star told the audience at the Sundance Film Festival Tuesday after a screening of her new comedy “Little Monsters.” In the film, Nyong’o plays…
Entertainment | New York Post


Blake Shelton Helped Gwen Stefani Heal After Her Divorce – Here’s How!

One insider report explains that Gwen Stefani was really affected by going through a divorce but Blake Shelton helped her heal and be open to the idea that she might tie the knot again one day! Supposedly, the singer is really ‘grateful’ for her country crooner boyfriend.

It sounds like Gwen was left with some deep emotional scars by her divorce, but because Blake was there to pick up the pieces soon after, she is much better today.

After things ended between her and Gavin Rossdale, Blake showed Gwen that a healthy relationship was not a myth.

The source shared with HollywoodLife that ‘Gwen is thankful for Blake and what he has done for her for many reasons, but she was truly skeptical about finding love again until connecting with Blake. She was scared to jump into things with him because she was incredibly hurt from her divorce.’

‘Though she has moved on from Gavin, she still deals with the pain and scars of that, which is why she is happy with where she and Blake are currently at.’

Her first marriage crumbling like that really made Gwen wary of marrying anyone again – even the amazing Blake Shelton!

But still, before meeting him, Gwen felt like she could not even entertain the idea of getting married again.

When he came along, he managed to make her open up more.

The insider made it very clear that the star has never really felt this happy in a relationship, which is also how Blake feels.

The man simply worships her and thinks all of her characteristics are attractive, including her strength and being a great mom to her sons.

So while before, Gwen was very scared of the idea of marriage, now she is much more open to it, and Blake is very thankful for that.

Celebrity Insider


How the Girl Scouts Helped Make Feminist History Happen in the Midterms

Come January, there will be an unprecedented force of female representation taking hold in Washington. At least 110 women will serve in the U.S. House and Senate next year, accounting for 20 percent of all seats in Congress. And at least 60 percent of them are former Girl Scouts.

Linzy is a freshman in college who volunteers for political campaigns in her free time. She encourages other girls to…

Posted by Girl Scouts on Sunday, October 14, 2018

Girl Scouts of the USA has fostered young female empowerment and leadership since 1912. In a male-dominated world where women are likely to be surrounded by men in every other activity, Girl Scouts offers a comfortable space for girls that empowers them, cultivates their leadership potential and helps build their confidence.

“Most of a girl’s life is co-ed, so it’s important to offer girls-only spaces,” Alice Hockenbury, Vice President of Public Policy and Advocacy for GSUSA told Ms. “Girl Scouts is a formative experience for a girl to have while growing up, and it’s not a coincidence that the majority of elected Congresswomen are Girl Scout alums.”

Cassandra Levesque, who was recently elected to represent the town of Barrington in the New Hampshire state legislature, is a proud Girl Scout alumna, and credits those spaces to her success. “They helped show me growing up that I can be strong, I can be loud,” she told Ms. “I felt that I could be myself there.”

Levesque, 19, is set to be one of the top five youngest state legislators in U.S. history—all because of a girl scout project. As a senior in high school, she began to push for child marriage legislation that would raise the legal age for marriage to 18, from 13 for girls and 14 for boys. When the initial bill failed in the House, she reintroduced the bill the next year and, with the help of Representative Jackie Cilley, passed legislation raising the age to 16.

During her campaign, Levesque leveraged her youth and Girl Scout experience as assets to her potential seat in the New Hampshire House. “Girl Scouts taught me how to be an advocate and how to get my voice heard,” she told Ms. “I am very proud to say that I’m a Girl Scout.”

In the current U.S. Congress, 51 percent of female Representatives and 73 percent of female Senators are Girl Scout alumnae. Today, four of six female governors were Girl Scouts. And Madeleine Albright, Condoleezza Rice and Hillary Clinton—the only three female Secretaries of State in history—were all Girl Scouts. 

According to a recent study done by the Girl Scout Research Institute, Scouts “are more likely than non-Girl Scouts to act ethically and responsibly, seek challenges and learn from setbacks, identify and solve problems in their communities and take an active role in decision making.” These are all qualities to be valued in elected officials—and will hopefully make a difference in Congress as more Girl Scout alumnae seek office.

“At Girl Scouts, we believe every girl’s voice should be heard,” Hockenbury told Ms., “and likewise, it’s important to have women in decision-making roles in every sector of society.” 

The 116th Congress will have even more alumnae of the program in its ranks. In the House, at least 57 percent of the women in the House will be Girl Scout alumnae, and at least 74 percent of the women in the Senate. All told, at least 60 percent of the women in Congress will be former Girl Scouts in 2019.

While not every female candidate promoted their Girl Scout backgrounds during the campaign like Cassandra Levesque, many of the most notable freshmen of the 116th Congress are alumnae. Jacky Rosen, the junior Senator from Nevada who won a race against an incumbent Republican in a tight race, is among this group. Veronica Escobar, Jahana Hayes, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ayanna Pressley—a crew of boundary-breakers heading to the House—are Girl Scout alumnae who are making history as the first Latina to represent Texas, the first Black women to represent states in New England and the youngest Representative ever elected. Michelle Lujan Grisham, who will make history as the first Latina governor in New Mexico, was a Girl Scout.

It seems that as more women are elected to public office, the correlation between national leadership and Girl Scouts grows stronger—and with good reason. With every inauguration to come, it becomes more clear that Girl Scouts of the USA has upheld their mission to build girls of courage, confidence and character who make the world a better place.

Victoria Sheber is an editorial intern at Ms., a debate instructor at Windward School and a member of the JusticeCorps at the Los Angeles Superior Court. Victoria is currently a senior at UCLA studying American Literature & Culture and History; she is also the President of the American Association of University Women chapter on campus and Assistant Section Editor for Fem Newsmagazine. She loves to read and write about feminist literature. 

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The post How the Girl Scouts Helped Make Feminist History Happen in the Midterms appeared first on Ms. Magazine Blog.

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ASPCA to reward special animals including the dog who helped located Subway sandwich pitchman Jared Fogle’s porn stash

The dog who helped sniff-out Subway pitchman Jared Fogle’s kiddie porn habit will lead a list of furry honorees at Thursday’s ASPCA Humane Awards Luncheon.

Bear, a once-homeless mutt who helped authorities locate digital storage items in a search of Fogle’s Indiana home, is the ASPCA’s Public Service…

/entertainment – New York Daily News


‘The Haunting Of Hill House’ Helped Me Finally Understand My Own Family

Television in 2018 has frequently seen a different kind of family drama than what’s so often appeared prior; something darker, something more dysfunctional. Dare I say it, something more realistic, in tone, if not in content.

There’s been HBO’s Sharp Objects, a six-part adaptation of the Gillian Flynn novel of the same name, which, despite being a Southern Gothic murder mystery, one with a side of Munchausen by proxy no less, was frequently tender and frequently the-radiator-is-broken warm. More recently there’s been Netflix’s The Haunting Of Hill House, in which director Mike Flanagan, whose CV is predominantly filled with modern horror films, took the much-adapted Shirley Jackson-penned source material, and used the supernatural as allegory for how trauma can be passed from one generation to the next. And, from the year prior, and again from HBO, Big Little Lies took Liane Moriarty’s brutally frank novel and carved it up into a powerful familial drama that pulled no punches, literally.

It’s kind of fitting that, within an era where the most wholesome family drama, ever, The Cosby Show, really doesn’t feel so wholesome anymore, and wherein your favourite TV mum, Rosanne, has been asked to leave the family home until further notice, the family TV drama has reinvented itself. Even NBC’s smash hit This Is Us, weaves themes like grief, anxiety, miscarriage and rehab throughout the nice bits.

Came For the Scares, Stayed For the Horror

Of them all, The Haunting Of Hill House has resonated with me most. I came for the scares. What kept me enthralled was the horror. The horror of family. The horror of family falling apart, the glue between the joints that keeps units bound, like a piece of furniture you never get around to replacing so instead you just patch it up, stretching, fraying, falling apart the more strained relationships become. It helped me look at my own family in a way that’s proved helpful.

Here’s something I’ve never talked about outside of the therapy session. When I was younger, I spent thousands of hours lying on my bed wondering if my family was normal. In many ways, it seemed like it. We ate dinner on Sundays together. There’s photos of us all on holiday. We’re smiling. I remember lots of laughs. I never didn’t feel like my existence wasn’t not a thing of wonder to them. But there were also the secrets. The things we weren’t supposed to talk about. Snatches of conversation I could never quite understand. People crying in parts of the house I knew I couldn’t enter. And, thick in the air, like smoke-filled carriages in the days you could smoke on trains, the dense, stifling, overwhelming feeling that something wasn’t right. I spent a lot of my time growing up trying to solve a puzzle, a sprawling multi-generational mystery, which ultimately led only to more pieces I couldn’t find.

Fear and Family

The bent-neck lady ghost in The Haunting of Hill House.

I’ve never seen a ghost. I was at a friend’s house once that was supposed to be haunted. For years they’d told me of the things they’d seen there. I never saw anything, but something grabbed me there once. Grabbed me in a way that felt physical. Squeezed my shoulder. It could have been a muscle spasm. It could have been my brain, filled with stories of apparitions and orbs, wanting to believe, playing tricks on me. I’m no neurologist, and I can’t understand a lot of how my brain works, even when I’m not sat supping tea in supposedly haunted houses. But within a few episodes of watching The Haunting Of Hill House, I’d unquestionably seen a ghost, if a ghost is an echo of the past, which I think is what they most likely are.

I spent so much of my childhood scared. Nobody is to blame for that. Nobody wanted that for me. The road to hell is paved with good intentions as they say. But I’d certainly never seen that sort of fear featured within TV drama before. HBO’s Six Feet Under came along in my teens and not so much scratched — not so much an itch, even — but levelled out a twinge of an idea that maybe I wasn’t completely alone. But it didn’t knead the tissue deep enough. What it did do was ignite a spark inside me that made me wonder whether it wasn’t my family that made me think we weren’t normal, but the families I saw on TV. Sometimes on a Sunday, when Channel 4 showed repeats of The Waltons, I hoped their stupid house would collapse upon them and kill them all. Years later, when I learned the child actors in the show weren’t paid with money, rather with baskets of muffins, I felt quite bad about that.

As Long As There Is Love

The Crain family in The Haunting of Hill House.

I saw it in the faces of The Haunting of Hill House’s Crain family though. The bewilderment in the children’s faces, their underdeveloped brains not being entrusted with the truth, or at least not all of it, them all striving to plug the gaps, failing pathetically. I saw it in the father, him desperately pleading to ‘fix’ problems in the present that had begun decades before. I saw it in the mother, the downturned facial muscles that accompanied the revelation that, despite having done everything she could to protect her brood, it still hadn’t been enough. Because if we’ve learned anything about the chaos of human existence, it’s that we can’t protect ourselves from life.

This isn’t a sad story. This is a story about how The Haunting Of Hill House confirmed the growing belief in me that my family was normal, at least in the sense that ‘normal’ has little business being used in the same sentence as the word family. Because as well as fear in those faces, I saw love. And in turn, it reminded me of the love I have for these people I’ve been thrust into a relationship with; no agreement, no escape. Not only that, but as much as this sounds like the opening line in the worst power ballad ever conceived, if you’ve got love, at least you’ve got something to embolden you in your fight against the demons.

New Netflix Show ‘The Haunting of Hill House’ is an Instant Horror Classic

The post ‘The Haunting Of Hill House’ Helped Me Finally Understand My Own Family appeared first on FANDOM.



How David Guetta helped bring house music to the US and made his rise to the top

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News


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She had no sanitary pads. No one knew and no one helped

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Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!