Watching high-stress TV shows like Killing Eve calms me down. I decided to find out why

Watching high-stress TV shows like Killing Eve calms me down. I decided to find out why

Watching high-stress TV shows like <em>Killing Eve</em> calms me down. I decided to find out why

April is Stress Awareness Month. On HelloGiggles, we are talking about the routines, habits, and activities that unexpectedly keep us calm and grounded in a society where harmfulhigh levels of stress are dangerously normalized. (Trigger warning: This article discusses trauma from sexual assault.)

I was sitting next to my fiancée and we both had our eyes on the TV screen in front of us. Villanelle (Jodie Comer) had broken into Eve’s (Sandra Oh) home. Eve grabbed a knife; Villanelle, a trained and skilled assassin, obviously noticed and called her out on it. My fiancée and I eyed each other nervously throughout the scene, wondering if either woman would end up injured or dead. Eve ended the scene soaking wet and sweating—and I ended it feeling calmer and more in control than I had in days.

I started binging Killing Eve recently after reading about the show for several months on Autostraddle, my go-to resource on what queer women should be watching right now. It seemed like the perfect escape: We’d just recently finished You, the Lifetime psychological thriller that found new life on Netflix, and there was a high-stress media hole in my heart.

It may sound counterintuitive, but watching highly stressful media—horror movies like Jordan Peele’s Us, intense dramas like How to Get Away With Murder, and everyone’s favorite titular serial killer, Dexter—helps me relieve stress.

I’m not alone in feeling this way. According to research by Margee Kerr, a sociologist, fear researcher, and author of Scream: Chilling Adventures In the Science of Fear, a high-arousal negative stimuli, such as watching a horror movie or a show about murder, can improve mood significantly. Watching horror movies can also cause adrenaline levels to spike, resulting in viewers feeling less anxious or frustrated, according to a 2012 study.

“Viewing high-stress media can feel exhilarating and stress relieving,” says Dr. Allison Forti, an assistant professor at Wake Forest University’s Counseling and Human Services graduate program. “Two defense mechanisms, displacement and projection, can explain this. Rather than confront the co-worker who gossiped about you at work, your frustration and anger release through the serial killer’s violent acts in the movie.”

Consuming high-stress media can serve as a way to channel negative emotions like humiliation, rejection, shame, anger, regret, and spite.

This isn’t a universal experience. Kerr’s research only included people who wanted to voluntarily scare themselves, and Dr. Forti explains that some people experience serious psychological distress when they watch high-stress media: “The sympathetic nervous system activates and the body gears up to fight or flee.” So while someone like me, who loves fictional serial killers and haunted houses, might feel happier after a heart-racing experience, this probably won’t be true for people who hate those things.

It doesn’t entirely surprise me that the more I’ve been binge watching Killing Eve, the less stressed out I am.

My adoration for watching high-stress shows as a coping mechanism actually started after I was raped in college, when I found watching The Vampire Diaries and Dexter oddly cathartic. I felt like I’d lost my own sense of agency and control, and there was something comforting about actively choosing to make my heart pound instead of waiting for it to happen because I’d woken up from another nightmare about the attack.

“When our stress level is escalated, using coping strategies that have a similar intensity can often provide a sense of relief,” explains psychotherapist Beth Scarlett.

“Sometimes we feel anxious or stressed, and we have trouble pinpointing the source of it. An intense show gives our brains a ‘reason’ for being wound up, which actually gives a sense of relief.”

After I was assaulted, I found it hard to wake up in the morning and concentrate in my classes; I’d start thinking about what happened and feel overcome by a surge of panic or anger. I wanted a way to deal with my emotions that wasn’t overwhelming and wouldn’t completely consume me. In addition to going to a therapist weekly, I started binge watching high-stress TV series in my dorm room.

The characters always felt a sense of urgency: Maybe they were on the edge of being caught as a serial killer; maybe they were the one being hunted. It gave me the opportunity to safely process my trauma.

“High-stress media can be used to channel unconscious or conscious thoughts and feelings that are too psychologically risky to address in a healthier way,” explains Dr. Forti. I didn’t feel it was safe to confront my rapist, but I could channel my anger into Season 5 of Dexter, where the titular character helps a rape victim track down her assailants and kill them.

The impact of high-stress media can be even more powerful if it’s a rewatch, like Dexter was for me after I was assaulted. I’d already watched the show in its entirety in high school. “Many people find comfort in watching and re-watching movies where they know the sequence of the story,” explains psychotherapist Dr. Dana Dorfman. “This knowledge provides a sense of a mastery over scary material, and offers an escape and distraction from the unpredictability of real life.”

High-stress TV shows and movies can also serve as a safe way to expose yourself to something that scares you or makes you nervous, Dr. Dorfman explains.

“This gradual exposure desensitizes the person to the stimulus and reconditions the brain to respond differently,” she says, and the viewer retrains their brain to react more calmly to stressful content.

Watching scenes of Lumen surviving rape in Dexter’s fifth season helped me cope with the trauma of my own assault without leaving my twin XL bed. Seeing a main character onscreen dealing with the impacts of post-traumatic stress, like nightmares and panic attacks, helped me realize that I was capable of healing someday too—even without the help of a serial killer to literally murder my rapist.

It’s been seven years since the assault and my daily life is nowhere near as stressful. I’m planning a wedding with my partner and balancing my career and social life with my disability, but I also have a lot of support. I don’t feel the same sense of urgency every morning when I wake up as I did for months after I was assaulted. But I still reach for the remote to turn on shows like Killing Eve and You, which my partner and I finished almost immediately after starting it. Dr. Dorfman calls this perspective building, which is when viewers use high-stress media to help them keep the stress of everyday life in perspective.

My stress now is mainly over minor things like taking my cat to the vet because she has an infection or realizing when the day is almost over that I don’t have a key ingredient for dinner. But stress can still take a toll on me. A couple of weeks ago, my partner came home exhausted after several crises at work and I was drained after planning out an enormous project.

As soon as we sat down to eat dinner, I suggested Killing Eve, which we’d recently started watching. “You know killers always make us feel better,” I said, hovering over the Hulu play button next to Sandra Oh’s distressed expression and incredible hair.

She laughed. At the end of the episode, when we were met with an enthralling cliffhanger, she asked, “One more?”

The post Watching high-stress TV shows like <em>Killing Eve</em> calms me down. I decided to find out why appeared first on HelloGiggles.



Here’s How to Manage Your Credit Like a Millionaire (Even If You Live on Ramen)

You dream big. In fact, you imagine dining on caviar while relaxing on a yacht.

Nevermind that you are actually chowing down on some ramen on your futon. It’s all a state of mind, right?

Yes and no. Take that state of mind just a bit further and start practicing what you dream. You know that if you want to make it big, you need to manage your credit score, so why not start do it like a millionaire?

Thinking like a millionaire when it comes to your credit score could help you get closer to living your caviar dreams. Here are a few tips:

1. Pay Your Credit Cards On Time and Get Paid Back

Paying your credit card bills in full each month is an absolute must if you want to boost your credit score. In a perfect world, you’ll pay off your balance every one or two weeks to keep your utilization low (more on that below).

So why even use them?

If you get the right credit card, it will pay you back. Look for credit cards that have no annual fee but offer rewards like cash back, travel points or some other perk.

If you’re not sure which credit card is right for you, Credit Sesame can help. Credit Sesame, a personal credit-score management service, can pair you up with the best credit cards to keep your credit score healthy.

Using credit cards helps you build a credit history. Paying them off boosts your payment history. By choosing the right card, you could also be flying first class or treating yourself to a bottle of bubbly with your rewards.

Now that’s living rich.

2. Have More Credit Than You Use

Can you imagine the credit limit on a millionaire’s card?

Now, do you think they use all of that? To keep your credit score in great shape, keep your credit utilization below 30%. That means, however much credit you have available through credit cards or lines of credit, only use 30% or less.

To find out what your credit utilization is, log into Credit Sesame. It breaks your credit score down into separate categories and grades them so you can see exactly what needs attention. If your credit utilization gets an “A,” great! If not, Credit Sesame will offer suggestions to better manage your credit.

Even if you’ve let your credit card debt accumulate, take a deep breath. Using Credit Sesame helped this mom pay off nine credit cards and climb out of debt.

If you’ve been good and have been paying your credit cards on time, consider asking the credit card company to increase your spending limit. Here’s the millionaire trick: When you get more credit, don’t use it.

True, you won’t be able to buy a new boat with your card and keep your credit utilization under the desired threshold, but you could probably buy a pretty nifty boat hat. You know, dress for success.

3. Let Your Credit Age Like a Fine Wine

Did you know credit age is a factor in your credit score? Credit Sesame says creditors and lenders like to see an average account age of more than five years.

So, if you are closing out those store cards you haven’t used in a while, you’re not doing yourself any favors. Let them be. In fact, it can be a good idea to charge something on them at least once or twice a year, just to keep the account active and in good standing.

So what happens if you need to get a new loan or credit card? It could bring your score down temporarily because it’s brand new, but don’t fret. Just keep a few older accounts open to keep that average age where you want it. Just one credit card that’s 15 years old can help offset the effect of new credit.

Credit age, while important, only accounts for 15% of your score, so be mindful of it, but don’t lose sleep over it.

4. Diversify Your Credit Like It’s a Millionaire’s Portfolio

You always hear how important it is for an investor to diversify their portfolio. Why? Because if you have millions of dollars in investments, you don’t want all of your eggs in one basket.

Another sneaky part of your credit score is your credit mix. This is based on the types of credit and debt you carry, like car loans, mortgage, credit cards and student loans. Having a diverse credit history shows lenders you have the ability to handle different types of accounts, and that helps boost your score.

Should you go buy a house on a whim like a movie star just to get a mortgage into the mix? Of course not.

But if you’re looking at a home remodel of some type or other expense, consider getting a loan rather than putting it on a credit card. For example, Jerry Morgan told us Credit Sesame helped him realize a car loan could improve his score.

Boom. You’re diversified and rocking your credit score like a big-wig.

5. Be Smart When Shopping Around

Do you think millionaires just buy whatever they want without looking at the cost? A few, maybe, but most of them didn’t get to be millionaires by being frivolous with their money.

And neither should you. If you’re thinking about buying a car or a home, shop around to see who will give you the best interest rate. A few percentage points can mean a lot of money over the course of a loan. Most online marketplaces can give you quotes without impacting your credit score.

To avoid applications and inquiries that could hurt your score, use Credit Sesame to check out your personalized buying power. This shows you what credit cards, loans or mortgage amounts you will likely qualify for before you apply.

Give Your Credit Score the Millionaire Treatment

You don’t have to rake in millions of dollars to have a credit score that shines like the hood ornament on a Mercedes. Just give it a little love and attention and it could actually help you get a little bit closer to that millionaire life.

By managing your credit and boosting your score from good to excellent, you can open opportunities you wouldn’t otherwise have. You can get that great mortgage rate. You can get an auto loan rather than buying a beater off Craigslist.

To see where you credit score is right now and to learn how to manage it, sign up for Credit Sesame. It’s free, it’s easy, and it’s the coach you need to manage your credit like than a millionaire.

Tyler Omoth is a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder who loves soaking up the sun and finding creative ways to help others. Catch him on Twitter at @Tyomoth.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

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The Kid Question: Have You Ever Felt Like You Needed to Choose Between Kids and Career?

stock photo of pregnant career woman

An older friend was reminiscing recently about the ’70s and ’80s, when a woman who had a career generally had to either decide NOT to have kids or, if they were determined to become a mom, find a way to make it work somehow. I suppose it doesn’t sound so strange to write it out here — sure, everyone makes choices — but there was a darkness to her tone that struck me, an underlayer of “If you really need to have kids, you can, but your career will suffer and you’ll never see your kids anyway — so if you were a ‘working woman’ first or someone who wanted a big career, you wouldn’t have kids back then.” (She never had kids, but had several long and successful careers.) I thought we’d talk about it today, decades away from the time she was talking about… what messages have you received about kids and career, and have you ever felt like you needed to choose between the two? If you’ve ever pondered motherhood, did you feel like your career would be constrained to any extent by having kids? 

Here are some things to discuss regarding the The Kid Question for working women:

  • For everyone: What messaging have you received about The Kid Question? What have you felt is “expected of you” (by your family/friends/education/office culture)? Which doors have you left open, which have you gone through, and which have you shut, whether mentally or physically?
  • For younger women: How much do you think the message “Make a choice: motherhood OR your career” is still an issue for women today? 
  • For working moms: What has surprised you about the sacrifices that working mothers have to make? What have been your best strategies or tools for juggling motherhood and a career (flexible work arrangements, long maternity leaves, options to lean out/on-ramp)? (Coincidentally, over at CorporetteMoms today I’m sharing my top tips on how to find balance as a working mom…)
  • For women without kids, either by choice or circumstance: How has the lack of kids affected your career? What would you advise younger women?

As for me, I think the messaging around career and motherhood has changed significantly — I saw a lot of working mothers in both the magazine world and the legal world, and I never really questioned whether I could have both a career and kids. I did think life would be crazy… but like Finals Week crazy. Intense periods of stress, but mostly doable. That said, I do know of at least one friend my age who did make career choices based on her desire to be a mother — she went for her MBA in her late 20s and was considering becoming an investment banker, but was steered away from that track because she told her advisers she also wanted to have kids a year or two after graduating. (If memory serves she had her son right after graduation, so she may have even been pregnant when these discussions were happening.)

Now, as a mom of two kids, I’ll say that it’s way crazier and that the crazy is more prolonged than I had expected. (There was a whole “Mommy Effect” study that found that a lot of moms-to-be have an unrealistic view of what life as a working mom will be like.) I also feel like the decision to have kids means you step away from what is plannable or even knowable to a certain extent — you step away from clear goalposts and milestones in a career sense and move at your own pace, which may be faster or slower depending on your family situation. (As I write this, the question of equity comes to mind — do men who want or expect to be fathers have to step away from clear goalposts and milestones? Do they walk into parenthood expecting to make any sacrifices, and even with equal parenting, do male parents make equal sacrifices? Might be an interesting discussion to have with the guys in your life.)

Let’s hear from you, ladies — what does The Kid Question look like to you now? Do you feel like you have to sacrifice kids for career, to any extent in 2019? If you’re a working mom, what choices and sacrifices have you made? If you don’t have kids yet but plan to, what choices and sacrifices do you expect to make?

Stock photo via Shutterstock / NotarYES.

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“Jussie Smollett is like a son to me:” Maxine Waters and Other Stars Defend the “Empire” Actor at the NAACP Image Awards

Leave it up to Chris Rock to address the elephant in the room at the 50th annual NAACP Image Awards on Saturday. The racy comedian brazenly poked fun at actor Jussie Smollett before presenting the Image Award for outstanding comedy series during the live event, which was broadcasted on TV One.

“They said no Jussie Smollett jokes,” Rock said. “I know. What a waste of light skin, you know? You know what I could do with that light skin? That curly hair? My career would be outta here, f–king running Hollywood.” He continued as the audience laughed, “What the hell was he thinking? From now on I ain’t never gonna (say) no ‘Jussie’ — you’re a ‘Jessie’ from now on. You don’t get the ‘u’ no more. That ‘u’ was respect. You don’t get no respect from me.

The joke centered on accusations that Smollett falsified a police report and staged a fake homophobic and racist hate crime in Chicago earlier this year. Although he was charged with 16 counts and was facing up to 48 years in prison, state prosecutors cleared him of all charges in a controversial move last week [The case was also sealed and Smollett agreed to community service as well as forfeiture of $ 10,000 bail.]. Still, the embattled star opted not to appear at the Image Awards nor the preceding awards dinner held the night before where he lost the nomination for outstanding supporting actor in a drama series to actor Jesse Williams for his role in Grey’s Anatomy.

Despite the laughs that Rock’s jokes drew from the audience, many stars at the awards expressed support for Smollett. Yara Shahidi, for instance, shot back at Rock, proclaiming “I stand with Jussie” while she and the cast of “Black-ish” accepted the award for outstanding comedy series. Likewise, Rep. Maxine Waters defended the openly gay actor. “Jussie Smollett is like a son to me. I’m very pleased about the verdict. I’m very pleased that he now has an opportunity to pick up and go on with his life,” the congresswoman told BLACK ENTERPRISE shortly after accepting the NAACP Chairman’s Award.

A number of public officials, including the Chicago police chief, Mayor Rahm Emmanuel, and even President Donald Trump blasted the decision to clear Smollett’s record. Waters, however, argued that it’s time for everyone to “settle down” and “let it go.”

“Nobody got hurt, nobody got shot, nobody was killed, Jussie Smollett had never committed a crime before,” she told BE. “Chicago has a lot of problems; a lot of killings go on every day. I would much rather they spend time and their money and their effort to apprehend killers and folks that are wreaking havoc on that city.”

Hazel Dukes, the former NAACP president and the current president of the NAACP New York State Conference, also criticized the response from Mayor Emanuel, who called the dropping of charges against Smollett “an unbelievable whitewash of justice.”

“I was upset with the mayor’s comment,” Dukes told BE. “As many blacks [that have] been killed by the police officers, he never came out that it was whitewashed when they didn’t get put in jail.”

“Black-ish” star Anthony Anderson, who served as the host of the Image Awards, expressed his support for Smollett, previously telling Variety that he was rooting for Smollett to win an award. “I hope he wins. I’m happy for him that the system worked for him in his favor because the system isn’t always fair, especially for people of color,” Anderson said. “So I’m glad it worked out for him. It’s not my place or any other person’s place to judge him or what not, but I’m glad that he’s nominated… I hope he wins because I’d be interested to hear his speech.”

Meanwhile, Smollett has maintained his innocence. His character, however, has been removed from the last two episodes of “Empire.”

The post “Jussie Smollett is like a son to me:” Maxine Waters and Other Stars Defend the “Empire” Actor at the NAACP Image Awards appeared first on Black Enterprise.

Lifestyle | Black Enterprise


Here’s what the GOP plans for health care look like

Here we go again. – RSS Channel – Politics

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN: -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News


Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!


Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

This $22 LED tracing pad will help you draw (and trace) like a pro


It takes time to put in the hours needed to master a craft. Not all of us can be Bob Ross — in fact, this video is proof.

If you’re just getting started on your journey to being an artist, all this can be discouraging. But the age-old adage holds true here: small steps lead to big things over the long term. Aspiring artists have to start somewhere, and this LED Adjustable Tracing Pad that’s on sale provides an easy way to do just that.

It’s a brilliant, no-brainer of a tool, really: A clear acrylic surface with a light shining behind it. You slip your reference image underneath, and affix your drawing paper on top. Flip on the light and select one of three brightness settings, and you can quickly get started tracing drawings at the illumination level of your choice. This makes it an easy way to block out distractions and get in the artistic zone. Read more…

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Original ‘Twilight Zone’ stars on what it’s like being in a cult classic

Bill Mumy and Jan Handzlik took different routes in their careers, but they share a common bond: acting in classic episodes of “The Twilight Zone.” Rod Serling’s black-and-white (mostly horror) anthology series, which originally aired on CBS (1959-64), will return Monday in the form of Jordan Peele’s “Twilight Zone” revival, streaming on CBS All Access…
Entertainment | New York Post


Children with autism are in ‘in tune’ with mom’s feelings like other children

New research addresses limitations of prior autism spectrum disorder (ASD) studies on facial emotion recognition by using five distinct facial emotions in unfamiliar and familiar (mom) faces to test the influence of familiarity in children with and without ASD. Findings show no differences in the two groups of children and reveal that children with ASD are perceptive to their mother’s emotions, which may indicate greater potential to learn and socialize with people they know rather than with strangers.
Child Development News — ScienceDaily


Suri Looks Like Dad Tom Cruise on Visit to Refugee Camp With Mom Katie: Pics

A chip off the old block. Suri Cruise looks just like her dad, Tom Cruise, in a photo her mom, Katie Holmes, posted while the mother-daughter duo visited a refugee camp in Greece.

In the black-and-white pic the Dawson’s Creek alum, 40, posted on Instagram on Saturday, March 23, Suri, 12, can be seen playing with a younger child at Moria refugee camp. The only daughter of Holmes and her ex-husband has her long hair in two braids and is wearing a T-shirt, jeans and sneakers as she smiles in the candid shot.

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#moriarefugeecamp ❤❤❤❤❤

A post shared by Katie Holmes (@katieholmes212) on

Holmes and her daughter spent a couple of days visiting the camp for Syrian refugees on the Greek island of Lesbos. The pair worked with volunteers from Artolution, a charity that promotes public art initiatives to promote healing and positive social change. Holmes is a global ambassador for the charity.

In a post on Artolution’s Instagram page, Holmes and Suri posed with other volunteers in front of a colorful mural.

“Thank you to our #globalambassadorforartolution, @katieholmes212, for your support AND working on the ground with us in Greece, teaching performance to refugees in the Moria Refugee Camp! Showing up and sharing this experience together. Kindness in action,” the pic was captioned.

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#moriarefugeecamp ❤

A post shared by Katie Holmes (@katieholmes212) on

Holmes also shared the shot, writing, “wonderful to spend time with such beautiful souls.”

The Logan Lucky star posted more pics on social media that showed her cradling a young child in her lap.

“I love these women who became our friends as we collaborated on many different projects this week,” she captioned a shot that showed her painting red hearts on a piece of paper. “I am so very grateful for this experience. The resilience of these women is so profound and truly inspiring to witness. and I pray for refugees everywhere.”

Holmes has spoken in the past about her daughter’s charitable spirit and big heart. “My little one is very, very generous and very sensitive,” she said on the Today show in 2015. “So she’s always [saying], ‘Mom, let’s give my old toys to people who need it.’”

She and Cruise split in 2012 after five years of marriage. Us Weekly broke the news in 2015 that Holmes had been secretly dating Jamie Foxx for two years. The pair were spotted kissing on a romantic vacation in Miami in late December. “She’s infatuated with him,” a source later told Us.

Us Weekly


Open Thread: What Does Your Dream Home Look Like?

Here’s a fun question for this Monday: what does your dream home look like? Do you want something cozy and small, like one of those adorably tiny homes? Would you want something sprawling, with wings? Open concept? All white everywhere? Would it have substantial grounds — a pool — a boat dock? Might it be a houseboat (or, hey, while we’re dreaming, yacht)? For purposes of the discussion, let’s take location out of it (so, for example, you can say you want a midtown Manhattan home with wings and a ton of outdoor space, which probably will not exist even for the wealthiest), as well as price.

For my $ .02, I am always happiest when my family is all hanging out together in the same room — so I’m not sure I would necessarily say I wanted something crazy with different wings or grounds. In fact, I would say cozy is one of the biggest touchstones for me — think bookcases with books everywhere and the kind of dining room/breakfast nook that has banquette seating. Lots of low, interesting lighting like along baseboards or other mouldings and the like. Ok, maybe an indoor pool for laps might make its way to the list (or one of those crazy hot tubs with the oppositional streams so you can swim laps against the current). 

Readers, how about you — what does your dream home look like? For those of you who have lived in a lot of different houses and apartments, what have you learned the hard way that you hate but thought you’d love (apparently this is a thing with open concept homes!) and what were you surprised to find you love? 

Stock photo via Stencil.

The post Open Thread: What Does Your Dream Home Look Like? appeared first on


Casey Wilson Talks About What It Was Like Being A ‘Newbie’ On ‘Saturday Night Live’ | PeopleTV


SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN: -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News


Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!


Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

Do Professionals Like Lawyers Need a Nice Car?

Several years ago, we had a great discussion on whether you should buy a fancy car to impress clients — and we figured it’s time once again to ask for your opinions: Do lawyers need a nice car? Or do you feel like saving money on a car is a smart move that lets you put money toward other things, get out of debt, retire early, etc? Legal eagles aside — if you’re a well-paid professional and can have your pick of cars, are there certain cars you should avoid because they make clients, opponents, or subordinates question some aspect of your professionalism?

(In addition to our original discussion on fancy cars, over at CorporetteMoms we talked about how to choose the best family car — and our most recent Personal Money Snapshot generated an interesting discussion on whether to buy a new or used car. The “buying vs. leasing” decision, which Kat touched on in our original post, may deserve its own post!) 

So, let’s chat! We’ve rounded up a few car-buying strategies that readers shared in the comments on that 2012 post — and they make us suspect that the answer many readers would give to the question “Do lawyers need a nice car?” would be “Not really.” Chime in with your thoughts — and if you drive regularly, tell us what your regular ride is… 

Reader strategy #1: Know your firm

  • If you want to buy a car before starting a new job, consider waiting until you’re familiar with the culture at your new employer. One reader’s red Audi A4 fit in just fine at one firm, but at her next one, it stood out among her colleagues’ old beaters and family cars — and not in a good way. Another commenter said that her husband’s employer, a company known for conservative financial management, doesn’t allow luxury cars in employee lots for fear of investors getting the wrong idea.
  • If you’re relocating and want to get a car, realize that different parts of the U.S. (or, of course, different countries) have their own judgments and stereotypes — so try to get a handle on things first. Some readers in certain areas have encountered negative comments about people who drive hybrids, for example.
  • Know your firm … but then do what you want! A couple of readers offered the “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” viewpoint: Someone’s going to judge you no matter what car you have, so you might as well get what you want.

Reader strategy #2: Consider the impression a luxury car makes 

Commenters shared a few things to think about when considering an expensive/flashy car:

  • If you’re right out of law school, buying a luxury car could give the impression that you don’t really “need” the job. (Shades of our conversation about Birkin bags at work, as well as engagement rings and interviews…)
  • One reader who works in family law noted that when she upgraded from a practical Ford Escort to a new-to-her Audi, her clients started to wonder if they were paying her too much. When she got tired of pricey repairs, she switched to a lower-profile car — a Toyota Corolla — that didn’t give that impression.
  • Another reader pointed out that partners may interpret an associate’s purchase of a luxury car as a step toward tightening those golden handcuffs. 
  • Furthermore, even if you’ve got your future all mapped out, realize that life may not turn out that way, and the financial decisions you make today — like buying a fancy BMW or Lexus — could turn out to have an impact you didn’t foresee.

Reader strategy #3: Enjoy a bit of luxury — without a fancy car 

Readers who weren’t interested in a status-symbol type of car said they focus more on car’s interior quality than its exterior impression, preferring to buy a mid-range vehicle and splurge on the options. You won’t have to worry about people making assumptions when they see a high-end car, you can make your commute as enjoyable as possible, and you may have less worry about your car being stolen or vandalized. (I know, I know — the car that’s stolen the most is the humble Honda Civic.) Readers’ examples included the Toyota Corolla and Ford Fusion Hybrid. This Consumer Reports article gives some ideas for nice features, from fast USB charging to heated steering wheels.  

Reader strategy #4: Get the car you want, but buy used

Many readers recommended buying a low-mileage used car that’s one, two, or three years old — and some say they’ll never buy a brand-new one. Commenters cited many advantages, such as lengthy warranties, less depreciation, more affordable car payments, and easier negotiation.

Reader strategy #5: Don’t buy a car unless you have to  

Several readers said they don’t buy a car when they don’t feel they need a new one, instead keeping their ride until it breaks down. (Ten-year-old Volvos happened to be a very popular choice, which isn’t surprising, as they often reach 200,000 miles — and one 1966 model made it to 3,000,000. And that was your random fact for the day.) One reader explained that she drives her car into the ground and then pays cash for a low-mileage used car, depositing a car-payment-amount into savings each month. 

How about you, readers? Beyond your salary/budget, how much do you base car-buying decisions on your employer, career, and location? Do your coworkers make certain judgments about other employees based on what they drive? What reader advice from above do you agree/disagree with? 

Stock photo via Stencil.

The post Do Professionals Like Lawyers Need a Nice Car? appeared first on


Jordyn ‘Likes’ Comment Saying She Came ‘Back Looking Like a Whole Meal’

Jordyn Woods Like Comment Looking Like Whole Meal
Jordyn Woods attends 19th Annual Post-Golden Globes Party at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 7, 2018. Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Back and better than ever? Jordyn Woods indulged in compliments from her fans as she seemingly tried to put her drama with Tristan Thompson and Khloé Kardashian in the past.

The 21-year-old model “liked” a Wednesday, March 20, Twitter post from one of her loyal followers. “Okay Jordyn comes back looking like a whole meal,” the user captioned a photo of Woods, adding a heart-eye emoji.

Kylie Jenner’s best friend made headlines in February when she was caught cheating with Thompson, 28, at a party. Woods told her side of the story during an interview on Red Table Talk, which was released on March 1. “[There was] no passion, no nothing. He just kissed me. … It was a kiss on the lips,” she claimed. “No tongue. … No making out.”

She went on to deny sleeping with the athlete. “Never a thought, never a consideration, never happened, and never will I,” she said. “And that’s why I’m willing to be put up to the test. Attach me to a lie detector, whatever it is. I need people to know the truth, and more importantly, I need people involved to know the truth.”

Kardashian, 34, slammed Woods on Twitter after the interview’s release. “Why are you lying @jordynwoods ?? If you’re going to try and save yourself by going public, INSTEAD OF CALLING ME PRIVATELY TO APOLOGIZE FIRST, at least be HONEST about your story,” the reality star wrote. “BTW, You ARE the reason my family broke up!”

The Keeping Up With the Kardashians star later backtracked, tweeting that “Jordyn is not to be blamed” and her breakup was “Tristan’s fault.”

Woods returned to social media on March 8 when she posted a series of selfies. She captioned the Instagram photos: “If you’re reading this.. it means God has given you another day to wake up and be grateful & better than you were yesterday.”

Us Weekly


Buju Banton Walks Like a Champion with ‘Long Walk to Freedom’ Concert

@itsknottv for The Daily Beast

When flight 559 traveling from JFK touched down in Kingston, Jamaica on Wednesday March 13, the pilot thanked the passengers for flying Jet Blue, told us to enjoy the island’s 85-degree temperature, and insisted we have fun at the weekend’s concert.

Obviously, he didn’t need to specify which concert: it’s the gig that’s filled up flights to Jamaica’s capital for the past week, packed hotels and guest houses, and increased Airbnb bookings to nearly 100% occupancy. Websites crashed within minutes of tickets going on sale, unable to handle the demand.

Buju Banton’s Long Walk to Freedom Concert, one of the biggest music events in Jamaica’s history, was held Saturday night at Kingston’s National Stadium, marking the reggae icon’s return to the stage after an eight-year absence. Banton didn’t willingly take a break from performing; he had been incarcerated in federal prison following a conviction on cocaine trafficking charges.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

The Daily Beast — Entertainment


Tichina Arnold Gets Dragged For Insinuating That Black Folks Shouldn’t Turn Their Backs On Black Men Like R. Kelly

2016 ESSENCE Festival Presented By Coca-Cola Ernest N. Morial Convention Center - Day 2

Source: Paras Griffin / Getty

Another day, another one of our favorite “aunties” having a hard time holding famous Black men like R. Kelly accountable.

Last time it was Taraji P. Henson and Erykah Badu and now it’s Tichina Arnold’s turn to get dragged.

See on Thursday morning, the “Martin” actress got some serious side-eye for suggesting that it’s important for Black people to uphold one another up, regardless of their guilt or actions.

“*Its disturbing to watch black ppl pounce on other black ppl when they are already down..guilty or not, but when it comes to holding others races accountable for their horrific actions, I hear crickets,” the actress and singer wrote on Twitter.

“Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Operate through love & compassion.”

While she never mentioned the Pied Piper by name, it can be assumed given all the media coverage he’s received lately along with his 10 counts of aggravated sexual abuse involving three minors, that the actress is talking about him.

Whatever the case, this way of thinking is what’s truly “disturbing.” Miss me with this love, intention and honestly when you have none for his victims and their families. Most importantly, it’s hard to forgive and want healing for men who refuse to admit their guilt and continue to act a damn fool in public.

Honestly, it’s heartbreaking to continue to watch Black folks, especially Black women, continue to push this narrative that holding a Black man that harms Black women and girls accountable is somehow anti-Black. It’s manipulative, harmful and counterproductive.

So is this idea that until we persecute white men like Harvey Weinstein or institutions like the Catholic Church first (which has already been done), we shouldn’t focus so much on the predators within our community.

This exact thinking, this protect “Black men by any means of necessary” mantra, is what continues to perpetuate rape culture in Black America and helps cover and protect predators. It also send the message to Black women and girls that their lives and bodies don’t matter, especially if their abusers are Black men.

Enough is enough!

Thankfully, I’m alone on this one. Black Twitter clapped back and had some choice words for Ms. Pam.

Entertainment – Black America Web


Barbie, Like her Creator, Is a Feminist

John D McHugh/Getty

“Barbie was everything we didn’t want to be…everything the feminist movement was trying to escape,” Gloria Steinem said in the recent documentary Tiny Shoulders.

Researching a book for the iconic doll’s 60th birthday, I was fascinated to learn how a toy invented by a female trailblazer empowered young girls like me, while enraging the entire women’s movement – who saw her as a vapid, skinny, busty blonde fashion plate.  Yet they were stereotyping Barbie by her looks and body, the way they refused to be judged.

Growing up  as the only girl in a Midwestern clan of boys, I was a Barbie fanatic, with the Dream House, pink convertible, Barbie, Ken, Francie, Julia, and Midge. When tiny buttons on their clothes were hard to unfasten, I’d just switch their heads.  Unlike the Chatty Cathy baby doll I was supposed to take care of, Barbie was a cool teenager with her own job, pad and wheels. Mirroring her independence, I begged my parents for the orange Cutlass that cruised me to college at 16. Role playing with Barbies in multiple professions inspired my subsequent erratic freelance career.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

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SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN: -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News


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I’d Like To Try To Fumigate This Here Sweater: Dealing With Moths, Without Pesticides

Two things that make modern menswear enthusiasts shudder: bad return policies and moths. The former can be avoided, the latter will probably affect you at some point, even if you’re quite careful with your clothes. Which, admittedly, I am not, always. If you’re like me, you spend a lot more time thinking about acquiring and wearing your clothes than about storing them properly. Once I hang something in the closet, I don’t worry about it too much until I pull it out again. Except once in awhile, it comes out a little… eaten. Most often, with two small holes near each other, like a sweater vampire sunk its teeth into the fabric.

Unfortunately, your worn clothes, particularly wool and silk items, are a Cheesecake Factory for baby moths and their partners in crime, baby carpet beetles (Ok; they’re larvae, but we’re euphemizing in this post and avoiding photos of actual moths, which you probably won’t see anyway). They’re just lining up, poring over the extensive menu, and marveling at the weird architectural details. It’s bad enough they’re eating holes in your clothes, but they’re also being pretty gross about it — they’re using the fibers to spin their protective cases, they’re laying hundreds of eggs, and frankly they’re just shitting everywhere.

And worst of all, it’s probably sort of your fault. Moths particularly appreciate soiled clothing, and thrive in undisturbed darkness; for example, the bottom of a closet where a sweater fell, unnoticed, or a storage bin you haven’t opened in two years. Your clothes don’t have to be outright filthy to be eaten, but unless you dry clean or wash your wool and silk items every time you wear them, your clothing likely has some lingering perspiration or food particles, which they look for. The most common way infestations start is by bringing an infested item into the storage environment, so be extra careful to clean any thrifted items before putting them in your closet (or wearing them, really). Of course, many living spaces, especially those with carpeting, may have some moths already when you move in — so it’s not totally your fault.

Many Ways to Approach a Moth Problem

Defeating clothes moths can be a daunting task. If you find holes in a sweater, you can dry clean it (which kills bugs), then darn the holes or have them professionally repaired. But it’s likely that the sweater was sitting in a drawer or bin with other tasty woolens, or in a closet with suits or wool outerwear — potentially thousands of dollars in moth targets. One instance of damage does not necessarily indicate infestation, but it’s difficult to be sure until you see more moth damage, or don’t. So what can you do?

The easiest and most expensive answer is to dry clean anything that’s been stored with your damaged item. That can add up pretty quickly, especially if you share your closet or storage space. These bugs can move, so they don’t need direct contact to get from one article of clothing to another. To eradicate effectively, you need to literally dry clean everything, or at least be very careful about never exposing your dry cleaned, moth-free batches to potentially mothy areas or clothing.

Another method is pesticides, the most common being mothballs, but there’s so many drawbacks it’s not really worth the trouble. Mothballs smell bad (a smell that’s hard to get rid of, a fact well-known to thrift/vintage hounds). They work only if the clothing is kept with the mothballs in an airtight space, and the chemicals involved can be harmful to people and pets.

Pesticide-Free Solutions

If you want to avoid pesticides, you still have some options, primarily getting your clothes into an environment outside the moth comfort zone — hot, cold, or low on oxygen. The Northwest Center for Alternatives to Pesticides recommends a handful of methods.

Many sources recommend freezing, although it potentially takes a long time and is not 100% effective. You need to leave clothes at a temperature well below freezing for at least a couple of days — the freezer in your kitchen may not be great, as the temperature fluctuates a lot as it’s opened and closed.

The two pesticide free methods I’m interested in trying are heat and dry ice fumigation, which has a Mr. Wizard vibe that I like.

  • With heat, the magic number is 120 degrees, to which your clothing must be exposed for at least 30 minutes. Many ovens don’t have a setting this low, and it can be hazardous to heat your clothes to, say, 350, so be careful with this method. Place items on a clean sheet pan, potentially on a towel you don’t mind damaging, as it may scorch. Keep a close eye on items to avoid damaging them, and don’t place anything in the oven that could melt, including synthetic fabric blends, plastic zippers, etc. Or you could just take everything outside in Arizona in the summer.
  • The fumigation method involves placing the items in a heavy trash bag (like a “contractor” grade bag, not a kitchen bag) with a pound of dry ice (available at some grocery stores or beverage distributors). Sealed loosely (not tightly!), the bag will fill up with sublimated carbon dioxide, killing the pests. Once the ice has dissipated, close the bag tightly and leave it sealed for a few days. Hey, at least it’s not in your freezer. Obviously, handle the dry ice carefully, i.e., not with your bare hands.

Once You’re Moth Free

Once your clothing has been treated, you can take the preventive steps universally recommended:

  • If you store clothing, clean it before you store it.
  • Store clothing in airtight containers as much as possible.
  • But also, wear your clothes–moths are much more likely to go after clothing in long-term storage than clothing you wear regularly.
  • Keep clothing storage areas and upholstered items generally clean — vacuum closets, vacuum upholstery, vacuum baseboards and under beds/furniture.
  • Keep a vigilant eye out for moth damage and bugs themselves.
  • Add cedar or bug-bothering herbs, like lavender, to your clothing storage areas. Cedar effectiveness wears off, though, and lavender’s effectiveness is not totally clear.

The post I’d Like To Try To Fumigate This Here Sweater: Dealing With Moths, Without Pesticides appeared first on Put This On.

Put This On


Trump won the presidency and was the least liked major party nominee in history. Today, more people continue to dislike than like him.

President Donald Trump was able to win the White House in 2016 despite being the least liked major party nominee in history. Today, more people continue to dislike than like Trump. – RSS Channel – HP Hero

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN: -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News


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Why are foods like bacon, pizza and ice cream so addictive? – RSS Channel – Health


Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!


Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

NYC deputy mayor suggests that if women ran firms like Amazon the HQ2 deal might have survived

"Maybe if there weren't all these men running companies we would possibly have different results," says Alicia Glen, outgoing New York City deputy mayor for development.
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China Aims to Become ‘Strong Film Power’ Like U.S. by 2035, Calls for More Patriotic Films

The Chinese government has exhorted filmmakers to turn the country into a “strong film power” like the U.S. by 2035 and called for the production of 100 movies a year that each earn more than RMB100 million ($ 15 million) as part of a push to increase China’s soft power. The targets were set by Wang […]



This is what London street style looked like before Instagram

Another season of London Fashion Week is almost over, and with it another season of cool street style looks that will no doubt set the trends for SS19. But whilst we’re now used to seeing them all over social media (if it didn’t go on Instagram, did you even wear it?), that wasn’t always the case.

Ever wondered what Londoners wore in the 20s or 30s, or even the 50s? Well wonder no more, because Ancestry, which specialises in family history, just shared their fashion records with us.

This includes fashion shows dating back to 1916, including images of London’s best-dressed woman of 1937 – Rosita Forbes – sporting the year’s biggest trend of wide leg trousers, an Ascot riverside parade in Richmond, the evolution of the Crinoline, top models learning new makeup tricks and more. Scroll down to see these and more pics.

Date: 31 May 1937
A riverside parade of Ascot fashions attracted a large audience at Richmond. The parade was held on the terrace of Mary Childs overlooking the Thames. A parade of Ascot fashions by the riverside at Richmond Bridge.

Date: 1916
London Fashion. The Cordoline – an improvement on The Crinoline

Dresses from the Gay Ninetees meet the fashions of today on the Promenade Deck of a Pleasure Cruiser built high on the roof tops of a Bayswater store.

Date: 23 Jul 1953
Two of the top models of the future, now training at London’s biggest model school, are 20 year old Ticia Burrows, of Surbiton, and 22 year old Jean Leeson, of Fittleworth, Sussex. They are shown some of the new tricks of make-up by Miss Marjorie Wood, the Beauty Counselor, who is “headmistress” of the school, in Pont Street, W.

Date: 26 Jan 1929
The very latest in gloves have heavy trimmings to the cuffs. Here is a unique of black kid gloves with “mousquaitaire” tops covered with fine white wool embroidery of antique design thus supplying an additional ornamental cuff to a coat

Date: 25 October 1937
Rosita Forbes, traveller, writer and explorer, and London’s best dressed woman, known in private life as Mrs. Arthur McGrath.

Date: 23 Sep 1923
Her Majesty the Queen, who has Returned to London from Scotland for Two Days Takes the Opportunity to See the New Fashions and Select Autumn Clothes. Her purchases included new styles which she will wear for next Tuesday, on the occasion of the launching of the new Cunarder. Mannequins, who wore the gowns for the Queen, returning from the Palace, with some she had selected. FOX PHOTOS. SEPT. 23.

Date: 27 Mar 1937
A few months ago eight pretty girls were lining up outside employment exchanges in Wales, hoping for jobs. Now after a few weeks training they have blossomed into West End mannequins. They are the “vanguard” in a scheme evolved by Miss LucyClayton, who is recruiting girls from Wales for her mannequin school, training them free of charge. Photo shows- The eight Welsh girl mannequins seen in London.

The post This is what London street style looked like before Instagram appeared first on Marie Claire.

Marie Claire


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Dealing With Confrontation Like A Gentleman

Very few people enjoy confrontation. It often stresses us out and it brings out the worst in us. It’s actually a unique subject to me because I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota where people are traditionally extremely anti-confrontational. And I’m natively from Germany where people are much more outspoken and vocal which leads to more confrontation. No matter where you live or how much you dislike it, you will still have to deal with confrontation

Approaches To Confrontation

Extremely Passive Aggressive

Passive aggressive people are people who are averse to conflicts will deliberately be inefficient. They may not communicate or they may simply pout.

Extremely Aggressive

On the other hand, high conflict people often have an all-or-nothing attitude. They have elements of victim blaming and they’re very aggressive and they look at it more like a battle.

In my experience neither style is productive to actually solve a conflict. So, here is how you can actually get some results.

Keep in mind that the goal of a confrontation is that you solve an issue and improve things. In order to get there, you need to have an open and honest conversation about the issues without being hurtful.

Common Myth: Confrontation = Bad

I would argue confrontations are not bad. The core is just a disagreement between one person and another. We’re all individuals and because of that, there will be confrontations. Just look at a confrontation as a starting point. Rather than trying to avoid it and feeling bad about yourself or others or angry, it’s better to tackle the issue right on. Avoidance will not solve your problems, they will just amplify them and make you feel bad. You may have some bad experiences of confrontations in the past and I hear you, but that doesn’t mean that all future confrontations will end the same way especially if you utilize the points outlined in the video. Keep in mind that you can be assertive and kind at the same time the choice of words are extremely important.

How To Handle A Confrontation Like A Gentleman

It All Starts With You

Take ownership of your issues with confrontation or maybe the elements that contribute to it. Most people I know range anywhere from being a complete pushover who goes along with anything the other person says to a constant aggressor who always wants to tell other people what to do and what is right. Both extremes are unhealthy in the long run and it really helps to put you in an uncomfortable position to try working against it. So if you are generally more of a pushover person that is easily influenced by others try to stand up for yourself and have not others dictate what you do.

On the other hand, if you’re aggressive, it may get you sometimes what you want, but in the end, it just makes you a bully that is not liked by others. In the long run, it will hurt you and your reputation. If you’re mad at someone or you disagree with them chances are you have been doing something that contributed to that situation. If you admit that you make a mistake you don’t all of a sudden lose all credibility. On a contrary, it shows that you’re self-reflective and that you’re open and vulnerable. By leading with an apology and recommitting to a better outcome is it will likely instill a similar behavior with your confrontation partner.

For example, if I’m unhappy with a co-worker because he’s constantly late and I feel disrespected and I feel like my time is wasted I shouldn’t just phrase it that way. Instead, you could say, “You know in the past I know I haven’t always been on time for our meetings. I sometimes had to deal with my daughter, but I promise I’ll do my best to be on time in the future. Lately, I noticed that our meetings haven’t started on time and when you come late to meetings it really makes me feel undervalued and disrespected and I would like to ask you to really recommit to our meetings and try to start them on time.” By making it more about you and how you feel and by avoiding extremes and superlatives, the other person won’t feel as attacked.

Ask What They Think And Feel

As a next step, you can ask them what they think about it, what their feelings are that shows them that you care about what they have to say. Even though you might think the other person is probably to blame for an issue. Think of it this way, you’re two people and so you’re 50% of the confrontation. Take responsibility for your part and I promise you the resolution will be easier and better for both of you.

Going with a mindset of a mutually beneficial resolution rather than I want to win and I want to be right. Someone with a legal background, that’s quite hard but it’s not good to resolve a confrontation outside the courtroom. Especially, if you’re afraid of a conversation you may want to wait for a “good time.” The problem with that is there is no such thing as a good time for a confrontation and the best time is right now. Of course there’s a caveat, ideally, you have a confrontation in person or at the least over the phone. Doing it over text message or email will just prolong the whole conflict and on top of that, it’s hard to read into words because you don’t see how people say things and there’s no tone to the words. So try to have it in person or at least on the phone so people can really see what you mean.

Stay Calm

It’s very important to stay calm even if the other person is riled up. In those situations, it can help to have a pause in there and just keep your composure and don’t tell them what to do but lead by example. If someone screams at you and you scream back they have dragged you down to their level.

Genuinely Listen

The next point is to genuinely listen to what the other person has to say. If you mentally prepare your answer all the while the other person is talking you’re not really absorbing what they’re saying what their core issue is. Sometimes confrontations can be easily resolved because it’s just a feeling that is hurt or something that you don’t even do intentionally but you’re in fact hurting another person. To ensure they understand, listen. It’s best to paraphrase what they said in a sentence with your own words.

Steer Clear Of Absolutes

In a confrontation, always stay clear of absolutes. Using things like, “Oh you never clean the dishes,” or “You always leave your socks on the table,” will not get you any further. It also provides ammunition for the other side to point out singular cases where those things weren’t the case and then make you look like you’re just over exaggerating.

“I” Statements

Rather than blaming the other party, try to stick to “I” statements and talk about how it makes you feel. This not only forces you to focus on your side of the conversation but it makes the other person feel less attacked. For example, rather than saying, “You never show up on time.” you could say, “I feel disrespected when we can’t start the meeting on time.” Do you see? I made it about me and my feelings not about them. If they think about it they know I feel disrespected and we start late because of them but I haven’t said that and they have made that transfer knowledge in their brain and therefore they are more open to change.

Focus On One Issue

Last but not least, try to address just one issue at a time. It’s very easy to put all kinds of different things into one argument but that will rarely help you to resolve anything.


Ultimately there’s no cooking recipe or perfect solution to resolve every conflict but these concepts will surely help you to get a result that is mutually beneficial. It makes you feel better about yourself, the issue and the other party.

Gentleman’s Gazette


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Justin Theroux Breaks Down What It Was Like Playing ‘Latin Lover Jesus’ In ‘The Ten’ | PeopleTV


SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN: -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News


Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!


Please help American Consultants Rx achieve it’s biggest goal yet of donating over 30 million discount prescription cards to over 50k organizations in an effort to assist millions of Americans in need. Please click here to donate today!

15 Ways Presidents Made the White House Feel Like Home

A house isn’t a home until you’ve filled it with creature comforts, decorated it to suit your taste, and customized it in ways that bring you joy—and the White House is no exception. Click through for a list of the most memorable, heartwarming, and at times eccentric renovations that past presidents have made to transform the White House into their family home.
Bob Vila : Trusted Home Renovation & Repair Expert


George Clooney Defends Meghan Markle, Says She’s ‘Vilified’ By Press Like Princess Diana

(Photo Credit: PR Photos)

George Clooney has come to the defense of new royal Meghan Markle, claiming she is being “vilified and chased” in the same way Princess Diana was in the 1990s.

The Hollywood icon is reportedly a close friend of the Duchess of Sussex and was a guest at her wedding to Prince Harry in 2018. Speaking to Australian magazine Who, Clooney noted the consequences of the media scrutiny of the former actress.

“I do want to say, they’re just chasing Meghan Markle everywhere,” he said. “She’s a woman who is seven months pregnant and she has been pursued and vilified and chased in the same way that Diana was, and it’s history repeating itself. We’ve seen how that ends.”

Diana died in a car crash in a Paris tunnel in 1997 while being chased by paparazzi on motorcycles.

Markle was initially praised for bringing a bit of color and culture to the “stale” and “outdated” British royal family. But once she married her prince charming, the media turned on her and has become increasingly critical.

Last week one paper published a personal letter allegedly written by Markle to her estranged father in which she begged him to “stop lying….stop exploiting my relationship with my husband.”

Clooney has slammed this invasion of her privacy.

“I can’t tell you how frustrating that is, just seeing them broadcast a letter from a daughter to a father, she’s getting a raw deal there and I think it’€s irresponsible and I’€m surprised by that,” he said.

Meanwhile, one CNN contributor has noted that “the problem isn’t Meghan Markle. It’s the British monarchy.”

Kate Maltby writes “As Britain awaits the birth of Meghan’s first child with Prince Harry, it seems clear that the reality of a royal child with a black grandmother has brought to the fore prejudices that were more generally veiled around the announcement of her marriage.”

Most recently, Markle’s closest supporters spoke anonymously to People magazine about the “global bullying” the Duchess is receiving.

Meanwhile, a Washington Post article this week breaks down the racially-charged hate for the first biracial woman to marry into the House of Windsor, per CNN.

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Entertainment – Black America Web


NASA thought this icy world was shaped like a snowman. It isn’t

The furthest object in our solar system visited by a spacecraft – Ultima Thule – appears not to be “snowman shaped” as first thought, and is in fact much flatter.
Tech News – Latest Technology and Gadget News | Sky News


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Diana Ross celebrated her 75th birthday at the 2019 Grammys like a living legend should

Diana Ross celebrated her 75th birthday at the 2019 Grammys like a living legend should

Diana Ross celebrated her 75th birthday at the 2019 Grammys like a living legend should

“Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me!”

It’s hard to believe that Ms. Diana Ross is turning 75 in March, but her performance at the 2019 Grammys is certainly the most appropriate way for the diva to celebrate. After a sweet introduction from her admiring young grandson, The Supremes songstress hit the stage in a flowing red gown fit for a fairy godmother. Ross broke into a medley of hit songs from her career with Motown Records, illustrating that her gifts to the world of music span decades. Starting with 1993’s “The Best Years of My Life,” she transitioned into 1970’s “Reach Out And Touch (Somebody’s Hand)” and was soon surrounded by her family in the audience, including daughter and actress Tracee Ellis Ross.

Ross ended the performance with a short speech, reminiscent of the spoken interludes with which Supremes fans are familiar. In addition to emphatically wishing herself happy birthday over a month early on television (goals), she delivered motivational words to the audience that touched on the transformative power of music—a tone set by Michelle Obama earlier in the evening:

“So much love in this room. Together we have no limits…There’s only success ahead, and you can lead the way. Learn, dream, unlock new doors, all is possible, all is possible with music and with you.”

Diana Ross a 61st Grammys
Lester Cohen/Getty Images for The Recording Academy

Diana Ross was the lead singer of ’60s Motown girl group, The Supremes, alongside groupmates Mary Wilson and Florence Ballard. After going solo in 1969, she scored multiple number one hits (including “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”) and earned an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of Billie Holiday in Lady Sings The Blues.

The Recording Academy tweeted that the performance was meant to “[honor] her landmark career and contributions to music.” Happy birthday to Ms. Diana Ross, indeed.

The post Diana Ross celebrated her 75th birthday at the 2019 Grammys like a living legend should appeared first on HelloGiggles.



‘I love sex. I like to make money’: What sex workers really want

Foxxy Angel has been a sex worker in the Netherlands for 15 years and still loves what she does. However, though the profession is legal, sex workers across the country are fighting for change, matching a global sentiment for the job to recognized as just that: a job. – RSS Channel – Health


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Fans think Cate Blanchett’s dress looks suspiciously like the Infinity Stones


Oh, you thought the Infinity Stones were accounted for in the powerful, gauntleted hand of Thanos?

Think again — looks like Cate Blanchett has them.

The Thor: Ragnarok star rocked up to the the 72nd British Academy Film Awards (BAFTAs) at London’s Royal Albert Hall on Sunday.

Blanchett donned a stunning black dress by Scottish designer Christopher Kane, while also sporting a familiar-looking feature. 

Is that you, Infinity Stones?

Is that you, Infinity Stones?

Image: David Fisher/BAFTA/REX/Shutterstock

The centrepiece of the dress was a collection of gem-like pieces, which many fans noted resembled the Infinity Stones accumulated by Thanos in Avengers: Infinity WarRead more…

More about Cate Blanchett, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Avengers Infinity War, Baftas, and Entertainment



Tiny Harris’ Recent Photo Has Fans Saying She Looks Like A Kid – Check It Out Here

Tiny Harris’ fans are amazed by how young she looks in a recent photo and they made sure to highlight this in the comments section. Take a look at the pic below to see for yourself.

In the pic, she styled her hair in a charming way, and she’s showing off a Fashion Nova outfit.

Someone commented ‘She looks like she did some bad and tryna calm her mom down lol,’ while another fan said ‘That Blue is so Royal. And it has the Pure White.’

A follower was not so familiar with Fashion Nova and said ‘Everybody talking about fashionova…let me see what all the hype about. I have to order something.’

Someone else suggested that Tiny had a cosmetic intervention on her nose: ‘Knew she being looking different. She got her nose pinched. Money well spent.’

Another person shared that ‘Tiny is looking different or her makeup artist is bomb af ♥♥♥

One follower posted that ‘she looks pretty, we need tiny makeup secrets her eyeliner and lips is popping yesss.’

Recently, Tiny was in the spotlight recently after she took a stand, calling for an investigation into a violent incident that took place in Hazle Township in Luzerne County, Pennsylvania.

There was a group of students who got caught in a horrible brawl at the Hazleton Area High School.

Videos of the fight went viral because they also showed an African-American student being forcibly restrained by the school police and resource officers. Tiny wanted to raise awareness of what had happened.

Celebrity Insider


Tameka Foster Talks Almost Dying During Plastic Surgery: “I Was Married, Publicly Shamed And Didn’t Ever Feel Like I Was Enough”

Lupus LA's Hollywood Bag Ladies Luncheon

Source: Tiffany Rose / Getty

Ten years ago, Tameka Foster, then known as Tameka Raymond and married to Usher, one of the biggest pop stars on the planet, almost died while trying to get plastic surgery.

Looking back on that experience this week, Foster expressed her gratitude for life, but also addressed the public criticism that she says pushed her to get the surgery in the first place.

“Feeling grateful today,” she wrote on Wednesday. “10 years ago today I suffered a cardiac arrest in Brazil. #Flatlined #IDied. I was married, publicly shamed and didn’t ever feel like I was enough, pretty enough, exotic enough, slim enough, light enough, worthy enough. Funny part… Today I’m 20 pounds heavier, feel much prettier, single AF, happier, and so amazingly worthy.”

Instagram Photo

As the story goes, two months after welcoming their second child together, Naviyd Ely Raymond, Foster decided to fly to Brazil to get liposuction done on her stomach. She knew that being the wife of a public figure, she wouldn’t be able to escape unwanted commentary about her body after baby. She hadn’t been able to escape it before she had Naviyd and Usher Raymond V, as people openly questioned the fact that Usher had chosen to be with her and marry her in 2007. The singer felt the need to publicly defend her honor in 2008 on MTV’s TRL, saying, “I hear y’all talking crazy out there, she’s a beautiful black woman. Stop. Stop talking. And I love her. Stop it.”

But that wouldn’t be enough.

Before Foster could even undergo the procedure, she went into cardiac arrest while under anesthesia. Ellen Dasptry, a rep for the surgeon who was supposed to have performed the surgery in Brazil, said Foster was revived and placed into a medically-induced coma immediately.

“When an attack like this happens, the doctors put the patient to sleep… and make sure that everything is okay and that there has not been any damage,” Dasptry told PEOPLE in 2009. “This is the protocol every time and this is what was done.”

Foster survived the very scary situation, and was in much better condition a week later. However, her marriage fell apart soon after. Just months after her health ordeal, Usher filed for divorce.

Check out photos of Tameka during happier but still stressful years with Usher by hitting the flip:

2007 Trumpet Awards

Source: Ethan Miller / Getty



LeBron James didn’t like how Harrison Barnes trade went down

LeBron James isn’t happy with the way Harrison Barnes got traded on Wednesday. “So let me guess this is cool cause they had to do what was best for the franchise right??? Traded this man while he was literally playing in the game and had ZERO idea,” James said on his Instagram account after it…
Sports | New York Post


How are people betting on sports like the Super Bowl?

Now that all the fuss about the Super Bowl is over, there’s one thing left to report. According to an online company called LendEDU, 60 percent of the nearly 900 people responding to a survey said they had never wagered on sports before it became legalized. And the average bet was $ 3,911, but the median…
Business | New York Post


Twitter thinks Adam Levine’s Super Bowl tank top looks like ’70s home decor, and tbh they’re not wrong

Twitter thinks Adam Levine’s Super Bowl tank top looks like ’70s home decor, and tbh they’re not wrong

Twitter thinks Adam Levine’s Super Bowl tank top looks like ’70s home decor, and tbh they’re not wrong

Another Super Bowl has come and gone, but the memes are here to stay—especially when it comes to a certain tank top Adam Levine was wearing during the halftime show (before nipple-gate, of course).

If you caught Maroon 5’s performance, you know that Levine was wearing a patterned tank top with a brown and black square design. And people quickly recognized the pattern on things they found around their homes.

If you looked at Levine’s ensemble and thought, “I’ve seen that tank top in my grandma’s house before,” you’re not the only one. In fact, a lot of people are taking to Twitter to share photos of their ’70s-inspired home decor that looks identical to what Levine was wearing.

Or the fact that it looked like something they’ve seen at the doctor:

And others thought it was reminiscent of what Neil, Charlie’s mom’s uptight boyfriend (AKA someone you really don’t want to take fashion inspiration from) wore in The Santa Clause:

This tweet made an excellent point about how having home decor that looks like the tank top isn’t exactly something to brag about:

But this tweet summed up the approach we should all be taking to this whole mess:

May we all have the confidence of Levine wearing that tank top on stage at the biggest sporting event of the year. And no matter what you think about it, you have to admit that this tank top got people talking about what was otherwise kind of a boring Super Bowl, so maybe that’s part of Levine’s genius? Hmm…

The post Twitter thinks Adam Levine’s Super Bowl tank top looks like ’70s home decor, and tbh they’re not wrong appeared first on HelloGiggles.



‘Some Like it Pop’ (?) Episode 5.1: The Good, the Bad, the Emotional of ‘RENT: Live-ish’

Listen Here: Hello Pop Culture RENT heads! On this episode of what may or may not still be called “Some Like It Pop,” after nearly 11 months, Matt Tamanini and Jennifer McHugh get back to podcasting because one of their shared favorite musicals was broadcast semi-live on national television. As only read more


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“Mr Dior? He was like family,” 1950s model recalls

Former fashion models reflect on the iconic designer Christian Dior, decades after his golden era. A major exhibition has opened at London’s V and A museum exploring his legacy. Anna Bevan reports.

Reuters Video: Entertainment


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‘It feels like we are still hostages’: Federal contractors who lost health insurance during shutdown remain in limbo

For one firm, the tight margins of federal work meant it wasn’t able to pay its health insurance premium, leading to a lapse in coverage for employees who also lost five weeks of wages. Now they’re bracing for the possibility of another shutdown after Feb. 15.

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN: -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News


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Nancy Pelosi and her entourage are acting like children

Bismarck said that politics is the art of the possible. It looks like House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and other Democrats regard politics as the art of intransigence. In his brief remarks Saturday on border security, Donald Trump outlined a plan that made multiple concessions to Democratic desiderata in exchange for $ 5.7 billion to fund 230…
Opinion | New York Post


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Brits don’t like Theresa May’s Brexit deal. But they still admire her grit.  

There was the head-spinning, cross-party, total defeat of the prime minister’s Brexit deal. Then the inglorious rescue of her government. At the center of the chaos, May still stands. Scholars of British politics cannot quite believe it. No leader before has survived such a parliamentary drubbing, described by many as “the worst in history.” But May has. How?


Here’s A Major Hair Tip For Women That Like To Blowout Their Natural Hair

Loving care nourishes luxurious hair

Source: PeopleImages / Getty

Recently, I took a trip to Beleza Natural in Harlem to get my hair done. This Brazilian salon and haircare brand is bringing their techniques to the US and I got a first-hand experience with their products at the new salon. The one great thing about Beleza Natural is that they are serious about haircare and their stylists and technicians not only do your hair but also teach you about your hair. It’s incredible and perfect for the woman (like me) who always has a ton of questions when it comes to hair and haircare, particularly for my Type 4 texture.

Instagram Photo

My stylist, Shantelle Kelly was responsible for trimming my hair, blow drying, and providing me with a silk press that has lasted almost a week and through two workouts. (Seriously). Beleza Natural has a technique for everything. First: they only do curly cuts in the salon. Kelly explained, “a good thing about a curly cut is that you can see what’s going on with the hair.” I had only had a curly cut once before. I’m not sure I’m “sold” on curly cuts, but I’m not opposed to getting one done again. If you wear your hair in a wash and go, I would definitely suggest a curly cut or trim as you can shape your hair better.

Now, when you are blowdrying and flat ironing your hair, you want to protect your curl pattern. First off, use the blow dryer to get your hair as straight as possible. Think of the flat iron as the finishing technique, not the step to do all the work to get your hair straight. When you are blow drying your hair, your hair should be wet. Like wet, wet. Kelly was spritzing water in my hair before she started blow drying it. She explained, “Water helps to make the natural hair smooth and to stretch it.” Wow! Normally, after I’m out of the shower, I’ll t-shirt dry my hair, trying to get it as dry as I can, THEN blow dry it. Nope, nope, nope. That was a major hair no-no. I didn’t even know!

Danielle James' Trip To Beleza Natural

Source: Danielle James / Madame Noire

I’m a fan of Kelly’s technique. As you can see, my hair turned out smooth, silky, and lasted a week!

How do you prep your hair for a blowout and a silk press? Did you know this tip? Share in the comment section.



Colin Cowherd: ‘I’ve never seen an MVP literally fall off a cliff’ like Russell Westbrook has

Russell Westbrook and the Oklahoma City Thunder were defeated by the Los Angeles Lakers last night and Westbrook had an awful night shooting. Hear why Colin Cowherd believes Westbrook simply can not get out of his own head with poor shooting performances.

FOX Sports Digital


‘We have everything that I like’: Trump serves fast-food feast for Clemson’s White House visit

For the second time in three years, Clemson spent time in Washington with Trump. The White House said the president paid for the fast food out of his own pocket because of the partial government shutdown.


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Dara Would Only Like to Wear Pretty Lace Undies in 2019

I’m usually not one to make New Year’s resolutions, but I actually have one for 2019, and I’m pretty excited about it. As of now, my dresser is overstuffed with years of Hanky Pankys and other miscellaneous lace-y bits picked up from Nordstrom Rack when I didn’t feel like doing …

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Early research on Apple’s Health Records service suggests patients generally like it

Researchers at UC San Diego surveyed patients to see how they like Apple's Health Records service.
Health and Science


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Vanessa Hudgens says Jennifer Lopez is like a mother to her

OHMYGOSSIP — Vanessa Hudgens says Jennifer Lopez has become a surrogate “mamma” to her since they worked together on ‘Second Act’.
The 30-year-old actress has revealed that her and the 49-year-old star have developed a mother and daughter relationship after bonding deeply and “talking telepathically” to each other while filming their latest romantic comedy.
The ‘High School Musical’ actress told Haute Living magazine: “[Jennifer] is the queen. She’s the O.G. of rom-com; she starred in my favorite [films] growing up. When I came in to do camera tests with her, I immediately felt this insane connection. I felt like we got to a point where we could be in a scene, and we were talking telepathically, where she’d be trying to tell me something, and I’d just go with it. I’d be like, ‘Are you trying to tell me this because I feel like you are?’ And she’d say, ‘Yes, baby.’ I’d be like, ‘Oh my God, I totally read your mind!’
“But seriously, not only was it a fun, exciting, iconic experience, but I also got to connect with someone that I admire in a real and deep way.
“[Jennifer] ‘mama’-ed me. She embraced me; whenever she sees me, she gives me the biggest, warmest hug. She always checks in on me and sees how I’m doing.”
Vanessa also gushed that her curvaceous co-star gave her sound career advice that inspired her to “conquer the world” and strive for the epic success of her role models.
She said: “We’d be between sets, and we’d just talk. I’d tell her about my career and where I think I’m lacking, and she’d tell me what she thinks the right steps are to get to where I want to be. And I’d be like, ‘Oh yeah, of course, I’ll do that, and I’m going to conquer the world just like you!’ ”

Find us also on Twitter @OHMYGOSSIP and @OHMYGOSSIP_USA


The sweater you don’t like is a trillion-dollar problem for retailers. These companies want to fix it

"Shoppers return 5 to 10 percent of what they purchase in store but 15 to 40 percent of what they buy online," David Sobie, co-founder and CEO of Happy Returns tells CNBC.
Top News & Analysis


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Cary Grant Style Secrets & How To Dress Like Him

A quintessential gentleman, a charismatic icon of timeless elegance and grace, Cary Grant will forever remain in our hearts and on our screens as one of the best-dressed men Hollywood has ever seen. Described as having a gracious manner, the debonair Grant always seemed to have everything in place. His hair was always coiffed, his cars shined and pristine and his attire could only be described as impeccably tailored and fit for a gentleman.

The History of Mr. Cary Grant

Cary Grant is one of those names that sticks with you. It’s a movie stars name, the name of the lead in a play or a character in a book. It has a ring to it, and that’s probably why Archibald “Archie” Leach chose it as his name in 1942.

Cary Grant = Archibald Alexander Leach

Born on January 18, 1904, Archibald Alexander Leach came into this world as the child of Elsie Maria Leach and Elias James Leach. His upbringing was anything but normal with his mother in and out of mental institutions for bouts of depression among other issues. He attended Bishop Road Primary School in Bristol, England where he grew up and on in the time his mother was sent away, his father Elias would tell him she was taking a long holiday. After a few bouts, Elias had her committed and told Grant she had died while traveling. It wasn’t until he was 31 years old that his father confessed she was mentally unstable and had not been on holiday, nor was she dead, but that he could find her alive in the sanitarium.

Abandoned As A Young Boy

By the time Leach was ten years old, his father had remarried and began a life with his new family that refused to include the young boy. To date, there is little known about how he was cared for, and by whom.

With his family troubles, Leach turned to mischief and was expelled from the Fairfield Grammar School in Bristol in 1918. He had always been very skilled in acrobatics and entertaining so he joined the Bob Pender Stage Troupe where he learned to walk on stilts. At the age of 16, he traveled with the vaudevillian troupe to United States on the RMS Olympic for a two year tour of the country. He, like many young men at that time was processed at Ellis Island on July 28, 1920.

Dietrich in sparkly tailcoat wtih Cary Grant wearing a single end bow tie with his white tie ensemble
Dietrich in sparkly tailcoat with Cary Grant wearing a single end bow tie with his white tie ensemble

America, The Land Of Grants Dreams

The young Leach was so enamored with the American dream and the lifestyle that he refused to return home at the end of the stay. Not having a father or mother who would miss him, he joined the American vaudeville acts and went on tour with Parker, Rand and Leach. For the first part of his career while on stage, he still performed under the name Archie Leach in shows such as Irene, Music in May, Rio Rita and the Street Singer. His experience with the acrobatic group gave him incredible strength, timing and grace and it wasn’t long before he would make the trip to Hollywood in the year 1931, playing on Broadway before hitting the big screen.

Archie Leach Becomes Cary Grant But He Was Almost Cary Lockwood

The name Archibald Leach would now be nothing but a distant memory filled with dread like a disease he had overcome.

Many have speculated where the name Cary Grant came from, but experts agree that according to witness testimony, Grant had originally proposed the name of Cary Lockwood, a character he enjoyed playing in the Broadway show Nikki. When he signed with Paramount Studios shortly before changing his name, he allegedly told producers and they found “Cary” acceptable but thought Lockwood was to similar to another actor’s last name. According to the history books, Paramount supplied the young man with a list of suitable names and he selected “Grant” because the initials “C.G.” had already proved very fortunate for men like Gary Cooper and Clark Gable.

Young Cary Grant in white tie, not the tiny bow tie knot and low profile rounded waistcoat tips
Young Cary Grant in white tie, not the tiny bow tie knot and low profile rounded waistcoat tips

Cary Grant Was An Instant Hit

From then on, Grant was an almost instant hit. With natural charm and a certain grace that few seemed to have, Cary Grant was a leading man who skyrocketed to fame as the star of Blonde Venus in 1932, followed by Mae West’s films She Done Him Wrong and I’m No Angel. A tremendous success at the box office, I’m No Angel was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture which saved Paramount at the time from declaring bankruptcy, but pushed Grant into a long series of unsuccessful film projects until 1936 when he signed with Columbia Pictures.

With his comedic timing from his years as an acrobat and stilt walker, he was picked to star in the 1937 comedy Topper which was distributed by MGM. Then The Awful Truth came out that same year which fully established Grant as a sophisticated leading man with a gentle comedic touch. It was rare in a time of masculine enforced male stars, but Grant used his gift of grace as a way to lighten things up and play various roles as opposed to being typecast simply as a good looking man.

Cary Grant with wide peak lapel tuxedo and butterfly bow tie and two shirt studs
Cary Grant with wide peak lapel tuxedo and butterfly bow tie and two shirt studs

“I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be and I finally became that person. Or he became me. Or we met at some point.”

Many argue that Grant was such a successful actor because of his upbringing. According to Grant, he was always pretending to be someone else. He once wrote “I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be and I finally became that person. Or he became me. Or we met at some point.”

Considering he had such a challenging upbringing, many attribute Grant’s style and manners as nothing short of miraculous, but Grant spent hours researching and watching men he admired in an effort to become more domesticated and less like the hooligan he once was, spouting off jazzy street talk instead of focusing on proper grammar. According to Grant of the pivotal moments for him in creating his “personality” was watching Leo McCarey, the director of The Awful Truth who had manners and a level of sophisticated grace like Grant had never seen before. His mannerisms and intonations resembled Grant’s, and he used McCarey as a learning tool to further his passion for savoir-vivre.

His performance in The Awful Truth was something The Atlantic called “the most spectacular run ever for an actor in American pictures” and for the next number of years, Grant went from hit to hit performing in romantic and screwball comedies.

A Casual Day for Cary Grant
A Casual Day for Cary Grant

His list of films became almost endless as he performed next to starlets such as Katharine Hepburn, Rosalind Russell, Rita Hayworth, Ingrid Bergman and Irene Dunne. It wasn’t long before every woman in America wanted him and every man wanted to be him. His style, his charm, his wit was unlike the world had seen. His sartorial flair for style was unprecedented and to top it off, he had the natural looks of a superstar. Many argue that men like Fred Astaire had similar traits, but Grant’s physical appearance was unmatched and he became a force in Hollywood.

Grant was liked. Both on and off screen he had a natural humbleness and graceful demeanor that made people swoon to him. Alfred Hitchcock once said Grant was “the only actor I ever loved in my whole life”.

British born actor Cary Grant (1904 - 1986) walking outdoors wearing a pinstripe jacket and a hat, 1940s.
British born actor Cary Grant (1904 – 1986) walking outdoors wearing a pinstripe jacket and a hat, 1940s.

By the mid 1950s, Grant opened up shop and started Granart Productions, which produced a number of films distributed by Universal including Operation Petticoat, That Touch of Mink with Doris Day, Indiscreet and Father Goose.

Then in 1963, my favorite day in movie history came when Cary Grant acted alongside my celebrity crush, Audrey Hepburn in Charade. Nothing truly noteworthy came of this and to be perfectly honest, there is no point in mentioning this in lieu of other movies he’s in. I just love Audrey Hepburn and since I’m writing this article, so long as my editor doesn’t delete this I can pretty much write whatever I want.

What is noteworthy however is what happened a year before. Cary Grant, in my opinion, is the perfect choice of every leading man ever to step foot in Hollywood to play James Bond. He never did though. Producers considered him for the role in 1962’s Dr. No, but decided against casting him since they were worried he wouldn’t stay tied down to just one picture. I know this is a first world problem but to me it’s devastating that he never played 007.

Cary Grant was a fan of pleats
Cary Grant was a fan of pleats

Throughout his career, Grant was nominated for two Academy Awards but lost both for Penny Serenade and None But The Lonely Heart. He retired still in demand at the age of 62 but received a special Academy Award for Lifetime Achievement in 1970. Peter Stone, the co-writer of Father Goose said while receiving an Oscar, “My thanks to Cary Grant, who keeps winning these things for other people.” And according to the people closest to him, that’s just what Grant did. He was one of the rare few who always put people ahead of himself. It was rare for him to deny an interview, say no to a child wanting an autograph, or pose for a picture with a teary-eyed fan. Grant was about making others feel more comfortable, possibly because he was never comfortable himself.

The Style of a Legend

Inside Grant was a hurt man. Disposed of by his parents, lied to about his mother’s death until his thirties and tragically avoided by his father when he adopted a new family. No man could withstand that level of distress without masking it somehow. And that’s just what Grant did. If he wasn’t put together on the inside, he would try to always be confident on the outside. As a young chap, his father once told him when he was wearing a combination with loud socks – “remember, it is you walking down the street, not your socks.”

Interestingly, he had arrived in the U.S. in 1920 on the same ocean liner as Douglas Fairbanks Sr. Even though they didn’t travel in the same class, he was able to catch a glimpse here or their and the timeless, classic and elegant style of Fairbanks made a huge impression on him. Even years later he was able to tell Ralph Lauren all about the intricacies of Fairbanks’ clothes and accessories, including fabrics types, lapel widths and buttonholes. Interestingly, up to his style icons and tried to imitate them until he became like them.

Cary Grant Style = clothes of a well dressed, sophisticated chap

In his own words, he favored the “clothes of a well dress, sophisticated chap”.

A huge fan of military uniforms, Grant recognized them as being the apex of mens fashion. He realized that soldiers always looked sharp and even when they were disheveled in war, they still had a raw masculinity to them because of the uniform. Grant decided to adopt that in his wardrobe and treated his attire, not as clothing, but as his uniform. It wasn’t that his tuxedo was made of the feathers of an eagle or the hair of a unicorn, it was no different from any other man’s dinner jacket, except that Grant ensured his fit him flawlessly and was always perfectly cleaned, crisply ironed and not a strand was out of place. Whether it was a dinner jacket or a pair of  jeans, he knew that clothes make the man.

1935:  British born actor Cary Grant (1904 - 1986), who starred in a number of classic comedies between the 1930s and 1960s.
1935: British born actor Cary Grant (1904 – 1986), who starred in a number of classic comedies between the 1930s and 1960s.

Because of his slim figure he was able to buy clothes off the rack such as trench coats from Aquascutum and country clothing from Abercrombie & Fitch (at that time, AF wasn’t what it is today but instead it was popular with gentlemen interested in the outdoors). In his early days he would often wear collar pins and knit ties, later he would wear 3-fold ties more often. He understood that even the least expensive items from a retail store still needed a hem here, a cuff there. Just as the army required their soldiers to keep their boots shined and pleats straight, Grant would spend countless hours and hire countless help to ensure his clothes were always immaculate. His suits and shirts were often custom tailored at Cifonelli in Rome or Dunhill in London and sometimes copied in Hong Kong. The copiers were so meticulous that they once even replicated the little fray on the collar of one of Grant’s favorite shirts!

Cary Grant in white tie
Cary Grant in white tie

One thing Cary Grant hated wearing was hats. Perhaps as Eva Marie Saint said he had “such a nice face”. He was striking and looked good in almost everything, except hats. He looked terrible in hats. He had this strong, assertive, perfectly framed face so why wear a hat and cover it up. Many men in that day like Humphrey Bogart made use of hats to reveal character traits, but Grant didn’t need it. He didn’t need it worth a damn. He could give a look or make an expression in one way or another that would reveal everything he wanted us to know, and for generations since, actors have tirelessly pursued that level of perfected acting.

Hats Rarely Looked Good on Cary Grant
Hats Rarely Looked Good on Cary Grant
Cary Grant Rarely Wore Hats
Cary Grant Rarely Wore Hats

The thing is that he really wasn’t the best actor around. Audiences were just so spellbound by his good looks and sense of style his awkward acting came across as a masculine form of aloofness. In that day and age, men who practiced style the way Grant did were thought to be homosexuals, but somehow, for some reason, many people looked past that with Grant.

“He had such fun in performing. He was so full of joy. You could see it in his body. You could see it in his face. He just let it all out”, said Eve Marie Saint.

In that day and age, male stars didn’t have the luxury of large wardrobes and often had to wear their own clothes. That’s one of the reasons they kept casting Grant was because he was damn elegant. The fourteen-gauge, mid-gray, worsted wool suits he wore in North by Northwest were his own; ones he had personally purchased from tailors on Savile Row.

Marlene Dietrich in Blone Venus 1932 in special white tie - note Cary Grant
Marlene Dietrich in Blone Venus 1932 in special white tie – note Cary Grant

His dress was certainly popular with the ladies and he had a few to his name. He was married five times to Virginia Cherril, Barbara Hutton, Betsy Drake, Dyan Cannon and Barbara Harris with many partners in between. Rumors have circulated that perhaps Grant was gay or bisexual but many women argue he was absolutely not. Regardless of who Grant was on the inside, to everyone else he was a legend. A man of timeless elegance who retired when his daughter Jennifer was born, so that she would have stability and fatherly love in her upbringing. Something he never had himself.

On the morning of November 29, 1986, when his wife left for a pharmacy in search of aspirin, Cary Grant suffered a cerebral hemmorage. He died at 11:22 that evening in St. Luke’s Hospital at the age of 82. The vast majority of his estate was left to his fifth wife, Barbara Harris, and his daughter, the true love of his life, Jennifer Grant.

“Permit me to suggest that you dress neatly and cleanly. A young person who dresses well usually behaves well. Good manners and a pleasant personality, even without a college education, will take you far.” – Cary Grant


If you would like to learn more about Cary Grant’s style, you should buy a copy of Cary Grant: A Celebration of Style.

Cary Grants Thoughts on Clothing

Much has been written about Cary Grant’s style but he only wrote one article about his thoughts on clothing in style, which was published in a 5 part series in THIS WEEK in 1962. 5 years later, GQ picked it up and republished it. Here it is again:

I’m often asked for advice or an opinion about clothes, and I always try to answer the best I can, but I’m not inclined to regard myself as an authority on the subject. Many times during my years in films, some well-meaning group has selected me as best-dressed man of the year, but I’ve never understood why. The odd distinction surprises me: first, because I don’t consider myself especially well dressed, and, secondly, I’ve never, as far as I can compare the efforts of others with my own, gone to any special trouble to acquire clothes that could be regarded as noticeably fashionable or up-to-date.

Cary Grant in North by Northwest

Some of my suits are ten to twenty years old, many of them ready-made and reasonably priced. Those that were custom-tailored were made by many different tailors in many different cities: London, Hong Kong, New York and Los Angeles. I believe that American ready-made clothes are the best ready-made clothes in the world: that the well-dressed American man makes a better appearance than the well-dressed man of any other country.

No, it isn’t only money that determines how well a man dresses—it’s personal taste. Because of the demands of my work, I’ve purchased dozens of suits over the years and they all have one attribute in common: they are in the middle of fashion. By that I mean they’re not self-consciously fashionable or far out, nor are they overly conservative or dated. In other words, the lapels are neither too wide nor too narrow, the trousers neither too tight nor too loose, the coats neither too short nor too long. I’ve worn clothes of extreme style, but only in order to dress appropriately for the type of character I played in particular films. Otherwise, simplicity, to me, has always been the essence of good taste.

I believe men’s clothes—like women’s—should attract attention to the best lines of a man’s figure and distract from the worst. In all cases, the most reliable style is in the middle of the road—a thoughtful sensible position in any human behavior. Except perhaps on the freeway—but, even then, the middle lane, providing of course, it’s on your side of the road, usually gets you where you’re going more easily, comfortably, and less disturbingly. And so it should be with clothes. They should be undisturbing, easy and comfortable.

There are many established stores or haberdasheries in each city, and probably in your neighborhood. Look at the suits in the windows. See how they compare with those worn by men whose taste you respect and admire. Think about the practical, functional and long-wearing qualities as they apply to your particular job or social activities. It’s better to consider carefully before buying than to regret your purchases for months afterwards. Study the cut, the price.

And here, by the way, is a tip. If the sleeves seem disproportionately wider than customary, it indicates a very deep armhole. Don’t contemplate buying if you are of average or slim size—you’ll get a well-fitting back but an extremely loose-fitting front and sleeves that tend to ride up if you lift your arms. A deep armhole is popular with many manufacturers because each coat fits a wider range of customers.

Film star Cary Grant with fourth wife Dyan Cannon
Film star Cary Grant with fourth wife Dyan Cannon

How much on should pay depends on how much one has to spend. I’m reminded of a piece of advice my father gave me regarding shoes: it has stood me in good stead whenever my own finances were low. He said it’s better to buy one good pair of shoes than four cheap ones. One pair made of fine leather could outlast four inferior pairs, and, if well cared for, would continue to proclaim your good judgment and taste no matter how old they become. The same applies to suits, so permit me to suggest you buy the best you can afford even though it means buying less. Rather like the stock market: it is usually more sensible to buy just one share of blue chip than 150 shares of a one-dollar stock.

What should one buy? Well, if a man’s budget restricts him to only one suit, then I would choose something unobtrusive. A dark blue, almost black, of lightweight cloth, serviceable for both day and evening wear. I suggest lightweight because nowadays most restaurants, offices, shops and theaters are well heated during fall and winter. I found that so even, surprisingly, in Moscow. With such modern indoor comfort, one need only be concerned with cold weather while out-of-doors.

Which brings us to overcoats. I’ve learned to wear overcoats that button up to the neck yet still appear neat when left open. It mystifies me that some men wear heavy single-breasted and even double-breasted, overcoats to protect themselves from cold, yet expose the most vulnerable part of their chests with V-neck openings. By wearing an overcoat that buttons to the neck, there is no need for a scarf.

The topcoat I use for traveling can be worn spring or fall. It’s black and therefore not only less apt to show dirt and travel stains, but usable for both day and formal wear. It’s made of a gabardine-type waterproof material, with slash side pockets that enable one to reach through easily for change, or to carry a book, or something similar, protected from the rain. There is also a detachable lining that buttons inside for very wintery days. An all-purpose coat.

What about a second suit? Well, I think a grey worsted or flannel would be most serviceable. Not too light in color, not too dark. And, this time, of medium weight but not more than what is known as ten-ounce cloth. It might be advantageous to purchase an extra pair of trousers for wearing separately with a sweater or a sport shirt. A grey flannel suit, with or without extra trousers, together with a sport coat could, at a pinch, be sufficient for a weekend in the country.

A sport coat ought to be easy-fitting, its pattern neither loud nor flashy. If you’re unsure which plaid or check to choose, then one of those dark blue, single-breasted blazers that have been worn by all classes in England for years, and have since become popular here, is acceptable for most casual wear.Blazers that have been worn by all classes in England for years, and have since become popular here, is acceptable for most casual wear.

Cary Grant wearing an ascot in To Catch A Thief
Cary Grant wearing an ascot in To Catch A Thief

Except, of course, on very hot days. During summer I’ve taken to wearing light beige, washable poplin suits. They’re inexpensive and, if kept crisp and clean, acceptable almost anywhere at any time, even in the evening. Also, the coat can be worn with grey flannels at the seashore or in the country, and the trousers used separately with a sport shirt and moccasins, or a pair of those heavy-soled white canvas shoes that are popular with young college men.

Poplin or seersucker suits are the mark of no special social class or income group, but are worn by all. And, providing he is well-mannered, a young man wearing such a suit can confidently approach the other fellow’s girl, secure in knowing that his way of dress is no deterrent.

A cardigan coat sweater of lightweight wool and conservative color is a useful investment. It can be worn without a coat on many occasions, and has the advantage of being easily slipped on without those arm-raising contortions and the need to re-comb your hair.

How do I feel about ties? If I had only one to choose, then I think a black foulard, not too wide nor too narrow, is best, as it’s acceptable with most clothes. An expensive tie is not a luxury—the wrinkles fall out quicker and the knot will hold better. Personally, I wear ties of small, conservative pattern and color.

Shoes? I’ve already mentioned that good shoes look better and last longer. If a man must limit himself to only one pair of shoes for city wear, then they should be black. If two, then a brown pair of darkest chocolate color are useful with almost all suits and, if he has no moccasins, even with grey flannels. The moccasin type of shoe is, to me, almost essential and especially convenient when traveling, since they can be easily slipped off in the airplane or car.

If your pocket handkerchief is monogrammed, don’t wear it carefully folded to show the monogram peeking above your breast-pocket. That’s somehow ostentatious.

If your pocket handkerchief is monogrammed, don’t wear it carefully folded to show the monogram peeking above your breast-pocket. That’s somehow ostentatious.

Shirts should usually be white for the evening, but, in the city’s grime, it’s practical and permissible to wear a light blue or conservatively striped shirt during the day. The type of collar should suit the contours of the neck and face. As a younger man, I tried wearing a flared, too-high collar that, although modish amongst those I regarded as the sophisticates of that day, looked ridiculous on my 17 1/2- inch neck. Luckily, after the embarrassment of viewing myself from almost every angle on screen, that mistake was soon rectified. Button-cuffed shirts are simplest to manage, but if you wear cuff links, as I do, don’t, I beg you, wear those huge examples of badly designed, cheap modern jewelry. They, too, are not only ostentatious, but heavy and a menace to the enamel on your car and your girl friend’s eye.

Relaxed Cary Grant
Relaxed Cary Grant

Learn to dispense with accessories that don’t perform a necessary function. I use belts, for example, only with blue jeans, which I wear when riding, and content myself with side loops, that can be tightened at the waistband, on business suits.

A tip about trousers. Trouser cuffs seem to me unnecessary, and are apt to catch lint and dust. However, whether you prefer cuffs or not, ask the tailor to sew a strip of cloth of the same material, or a tape of similar color, on the inside at the bottom of the trouser leg where it rubs the heel of the shoe. It will keep your trouser-bottoms from fraying.

Do I have any special do’s and don’t’s about clothes? I can’t think of and rules about clothes, since there really aren’t any, but I suggest you buy trees to conform to the shape of your shoes, and keep your coats on curved hangers.

Take care of your clothes, keep them clean and in good repair. I suggest you avoid using heavily scented cologne or soaps. When I meet a man I like him to smell like a man, or not to smell at all; certainly he shouldn’t smell like a woman. Do see that your socks stay up. Nothing can spoil an otherwise well-groomed effect like sagging socks. Don’t stuff your pockets with heavy articles and bulging wallets filled with seldom-used cards. They ruin not only the neatness of your appearance but the actual tailoring of your suit.

Don’t be a snob about the way you dress. Snobbery is only a point in time. Be tolerant and helpful to the other fellow—he is yourself yesterday.

Don’t overbuy. When you contemplate an article, judge whether or not it harmonizes with items you already own. Again, avoid exaggeration of current fashions. It’s best to be inconspicuous. But inconspicuous does not mean dull. Extreme dullness can be conspicuous in itself. Just do the best you can.

Come to think of it, who knows how anything becomes bad or good taste? Who decides a standard of esthetics? If it’s the majority, then how is it the minority are the ones considered well dressed? Everything is only exactly what it is. If a man wears the kind of clothes that please him, then, providing they’re clean and don’t shock society, morals, and little children, what is the difference as long as that man is happy?

Yes. Somewhere I read that Harvard’s Professor Archibald MacLeish was asked by a student about to graduate into our highly competitive world what advice he could give him. Professor MacLeish’s answer was, “Wear your Sunday suit every day.” The inference, of course, being that the suit would give the young man such confidence in seeking positions that he would eventually own many Sunday suits, for any and all days.

Splendid advice even by itself, but it’s probable that the professor meant not only his Sunday or best suit, but also his Sunday or best smile, disposition, and behavior—knowing that each begets the other. So wear, not only your clothes, but yourself, well, with confidence. Confidence, too, is in the middle of the road, being neither aggressiveness nor timidity. Pride of new knowledge—including knowledge of clothes—continually adds to self-confidence.’

Gentleman’s Gazette


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Beverley Callard slammed by Stan Collymore after claiming celebs make ‘mental health fashionable like a Gucci handbag’

FORMER footballer Stan Collymore has accused Coronation Street legend Beverley Callard of talking “crap” about mental health.

The former England striker hit out at actress Beverley over her fears that some celebs may play up their battles with depression.

PA:Press Association

Stan Collymore described comments made by Corrie star Beverley as ‘crap’[/caption]

She said this week that stars could flaunt the illness “like a Gucci handbag”.

Beverley, who has herself suffered from depression, was backed by Good Morning host Piers Morgan.

He tweeted: “She’ll be hammered for saying this but it’s 100% true.”

But football pundit Collymore, 47, who has also suffered from mental health problems, called on others to ignore the pair.

Rex Features

Beverley fears that celebs may start flaunting their battles with mental illness ‘like a Gucci handbag’[/caption]

He wrote: “Don’t bite! Just keep advocating and using your voice to help others.

“Are Callard or Morgan trained MH specialists?

“No, so let them waffle crap and concentrate on what you can do to inform and help others.”

Beverley, 61, has played Liz McDonald in the soap for 30 years.

Rex Features

Beverley Callard has been open about her own mental health issues[/caption]

She is also an ambassador for mental health charity Mind.

She had to take two months off work in 2016 after breaking down in tears on the Corrie set over fears she did not measure up to her younger co-stars.

The actress felt like she was plunging into a “black hole”.

PA:Press Association

Football pundit Stan urged stars to be open about their mental health[/caption]

Mind praised Beverley for her openness, saying she had helped save lives by inspiring sufferers to seek help.

But she warned this week there was a danger it could “become fashionable” to claim to suffer from such conditions.

She told Best magazine: “We have to be careful that mental illness doesn’t become like a Gucci handbag.”

Actress Sophie Turner, 22, who plays Sansa Stark in Game Of Thrones, also hit out at the comment this week.

She tweeted that stars “have a platform to speak out about it and help get rid of the stigma of mental illness”.

Sophie added: “Please go ahead and shun them back into silence. T***.’’

But GMB host Piers, 53, replied: “Do you think abusing people helps their mental health, Ms Turner?

Maybe consider that question for your next virtue-signalling Twitter thesis on the subject?’’

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TV and Showbiz – latest celebrity news, gossip, photos, TV and film reviews | The Sun


Tennis Star Naomi Osaka Doesn’t Like Attention. She’s About to Get a Ton of It.

On a wet December morning in a South Florida weight room, the 21-year-old who stunned Serena Williams at the U.S. Open is hard at work preparing to show that the biggest moment of her life was more than a fluke. As an arrow flashes on an iPad in front of her, Naomi Osaka darts in the direction it signals, pauses, then pivots when it sends her the other way, without missing a step. Her coach, Sascha Bajin, joins the drill but leaps the wrong way and almost lands on Osaka’s ankle. Bajin feigns horror, prompting fellow pro tour player Monica Puig to suggest Osaka give her coach a hug. “She gives hugs like no other,” Bajin says, his sarcasm thicker than midsummer heat. “I only hug people I like,” Osaka parries.

The exchange would be unremarkable were it between almost anyone else. But Bajin’s playful banter is a key part of his strategy to break his young charge out of her shell. And for Osaka, a precocious talent in a global sport with the kind of multinational background that marketers dream about, doing so could mean the difference between a career like that of the idol she upset at the Open–or, well, a fluke. “It’s easier to take over the world,” Bajin says, “if you’re not so caved in.”

Many people’s introduction to Osaka came in September at the U.S. Open trophy presentation, when the surprise champion covered her eyes with her visor as boos rained from the crowd. “I didn’t want people to see me crying,” Osaka tells TIME, “because that’s pathetic.”

The moment should have been celebratory–a rising star assuming her place among champions after defeating the greatest of them all. Instead, it was painful. Thousands of fans, livid that umpire Carlos Ramos assessed Williams a code violation for verbal abuse that cost her a full game late in a Grand Slam final, filled Arthur Ashe Stadium with jeers. Rage pierced the still air, as if a wrestling heel were entering the ring and not a 20-year-old being honored for finishing a fairy tale.

Standing on the podium for the ceremony, tennis legend Chris Evert says she just wanted off. “I’ve never seen or felt anything like it,” she says. “The negativity, the anger.” From his seat, Bajin seethed: “I wanted to jump everybody in the crowd.”

At first, Osaka thought the boos were for her. She knew the crowd, and millions more watching on TV, desperately wanted Williams to win a record-tying 24th Grand Slam title after she nearly died after giving birth. When it was her turn to speak, Osaka apologized for doing her job and beating her opponent. And so it was that the woman who could be the heir to the Williams sisters met the world through a frowning face and lowered brim.

Three months later, Osaka is relaxing on the balcony of the Evert Tennis Academy in Boca Raton, Fla., where she trains. She doesn’t fault Williams for fighting with the umpire and upstaging her victory. “Serena is Serena,” Osaka says in her first extended interview since the match. “I didn’t experience her life. I can’t tell her what she’s supposed to do, because there are things that she’s gone through. I have nothing against her or anything. I actually still really love her.”

Osaka insists she’s come to terms with it all. She appreciates that Williams did eventually implore the crowd to stop jeering and applaud Osaka with a proper, if belated, ovation. In fact, Osaka insists she wouldn’t change anything about what happened. “In a perfect dream, things would be set exactly the way you would want them,” she says. “But I think it’s more interesting that in real life, things aren’t exactly the way you planned. And there are certain situations that you don’t expect, but they come to you, and I think those situations set up things for further ahead.”

The future actually came ahead of schedule for Osaka when she stormed through the field in New York, and she and her team are scrambling to capitalize. Born in Japan to a Haitian father and Japanese mother, Osaka grew up in the U.S. but competes for Japan. She has become a bankable celebrity in her native country and a source of inspiration to many multiracial people there. With the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo, global companies are falling all over themselves to align their message with her 120 m.p.h. serves.

“If you’re talking about an international sporting event like the Olympics,” says Bob Dorfman, creative director of Baker Street Advertising in San Francisco and a veteran sports marketer, “she’s your international star you’re going to market it around. She’s got American appeal, Caribbean appeal, Japanese appeal. As nationalities continue to mix in this world, that makes her even more desirable.”

First, however, Osaka needs to keep winning. Her biggest test yet will come at the Australian Open, which begins on Jan. 14 in Melbourne. The great players have a way of finding another gear in the Grand Slam spotlight. Osaka has shown that she has the power game to beat the best. But can she do it when everyone is expecting her to–and millions of dollars are riding on it?

Julian Finney—Getty ImagesAt the U.S. Open trophy ceremony, Osaka apologized to booing fans for beating her idol, Serena Williams

Osaka’s road to the top of tennis traces to 1999, when her father, Leonard Maxine Francois, watched a young Venus and Serena Williams playing in the French Open on TV. He heard the story of their hard-driving father, who groomed his daughters despite being a tennis novice, and figured he could do the same. “I always thought I could have been a great athlete if I had that support,” Francois says.

He had met Tamaki Osaka earlier in the decade, as a college student from New York studying in Sapporo. Over the objections of Tamaki’s father, who did not approve of the relationship, the couple married. They had two daughters, Mari and Naomi, born 18 months apart in Osaka. For practical purposes in a country that can be hard for outsiders to penetrate, the girls took their mother’s surname.

Inspired in part by the Williams sisters’ path, the family left Japan for the U.S. when Naomi was 3. They moved into the Long Island home of Leonard’s Haitian parents, eating beans and oxtail and hearing Creole around the house. Tamaki spoke both Japanese and English to the kids, and kept Japanese customs like Hinamatsuri, the March 3 celebration of girls’ health and happiness. The sisters went to public school, but their lives revolved around tennis. “It wasn’t really our choice,” says Mari, 22, now a professional player who competes in lower-level events.

Still, they liked the game enough to train for hours at public courts on Long Island. And for the girls, the Williams sisters became the models that Richard Williams was for their father. Naomi even did a third-grade report about Serena.

The family plan intensified in 2006 when they moved to Florida, the epicenter of American youth tennis. The kids were homeschooled online and dedicated even more time to honing their craft. “I’m the type of person when I want to do something,” Francois says, “I just go for it.”

The Osaka girls, like the Williams sisters before them, largely eschewed the junior tennis circuit, a cutthroat environment that burns out many promising teen players. Instead, they battled each other every day. “She was sort of the driving force,” Naomi says of her sister. “Because when we were little, I wasn’t really too good. I was just there. I didn’t really care. I was just playing because she was playing and I wanted to beat her.”

As Naomi started winning, it deepened her determination. “Once she puts her focus on something, she never strays from it,” Mari says of her younger sister. “It gets to the point where it’s almost ridiculous.” Mari’s favorite example is not on the court but rather her sister’s penchant for eliminating virtually all fat from her food, even if it takes 20 minutes to trim every piece of meat she eats. “What the hell?” says Mari. “How do you have the time and dedication? But she’s obsessed.”

Naomi was promising enough to turn pro in 2012, when she was 14. She climbed the rankings quickly: at the end of 2014, she stood at No. 250 in the world. Two years later she was ranked No. 40 after reaching her first WTA tournament final, and making the third round of all three Grand Slam tournaments she played. Osaka was named 2016 WTA Newcomer of the Year.

But there’s a chasm between the good players on tour and the great ones, who regularly contend for Grand Slams. Many close observers credit Osaka’s move into the latter group partly to the decision to work with Bajin at the end of 2017. A 34-year-old Serb born and raised in Munich, he spent eight years as Serena Williams’ hitting partner before coaching Osaka. “I saw tremendous improvement in mobility around the court,” says Evert, who analyzes the tour for ESPN. “The transformation, in a year, was unbelievable.”

Osaka plays a power game similar to her idol’s, relying on big serves and even bigger shots rather than defense and finesse. Bajin, who knows the style well from his time with Williams, helped Osaka refine her approach. “I see her hit balls late, and she just directs them down the line and they go like freaking rockets,” he says. “My heart freaking stops.”

In March, Osaka won the competitive Indian Wells tournament, and at the next event, in Miami, she crushed Williams in straight sets in the first round. Williams was in the early stages of her comeback, but the win confirmed that Osaka was someone to reckon with.

Osaka entered the U.S. Open on a three-match losing streak. But she says the losses eased her mind. “I sort of had this feeling of freedom,” she says. “At that point I felt the lowest I could be, so I honestly just wanted to recapture the fun feeling.”

After Osaka thumped Williams in the final, her life changed in an instant. The awkward tennis prodigy was now something of a celebrity, which has been an adjustment. In November the sisters attended a Drake concert in Miami, and Osaka froze after she realized people were shouting her name as she danced awkwardly. (She says “sitting still in my chair” is her go-to dance move.) Another whoa moment: while driving in Florida after the Open, she noticed a woman in front of her looking repeatedly into a side mirror. At a green light, the other car stood still. Osaka steered around and saw the woman’s mouth agape. “She was just looking at me,” Osaka says. “I thought it was because of my car. Then I realized I think it was because of me.”

Osaka received a hero’s welcome during a November trip to Haiti, and her fame in Japan is approaching pop-star status. When she visited Tokyo in September, Osaka had to sneak into her hotel through a side entrance. Paparazzi trailed her throughout the trip. One night, Osaka’s mom Tamaki was relaxing in her hotel room and decided to conduct a little test. She’d flip around the channels and see if she could finally avoid the image of her daughter on the screen. Her experiment failed.

Osaka, playing in an Australian Open warm-up tournament on Jan. 3, has one of the strongest serves in the game
TPN/Getty ImagesOsaka, playing in an Australian Open warm-up tournament on Jan. 3, has one of the strongest serves in the game

Osaka’s connection to Japan is both implicit and complicated. She was born there but has lived in the U.S. since she was 3. She is conversant in the language but typically responds to questions from Japanese reporters in English. Still, when the girls were junior players, their parents decided their daughters would represent Japan in international competitions, given the family’s cultural ties to the country. The decision has paid dividends. As the first woman from Japan to win a Grand Slam, Osaka is a pioneer. If she competed as an American, it wouldn’t be a milestone at all, and the battle for attention and endorsements would be more difficult.

Despite the affiliation, Osaka says she doesn’t feel more attached to one part of her identity than to any other. “I don’t really know what feeling Japanese or Haitian or American is supposed to feel like,” she says. “I just feel like me.”

Japan is one of the most homogenous places in the world. Around 98% of the population is ethnic Japanese, and being multiracial–or what’s known as hafu, or half–can be fraught. Carla Capers, an English teacher in Kobe whose parents are African American and Japanese, says co-workers often ask her if she can understand Japanese phrases. “I’m like, ‘I live here, I speak the language,’” says Capers. “People kind of dumb everything down. It gets really annoying.”

For those who see the possibility of a broader definition of what it means to be Japanese, Osaka has become a symbol. “It means a lot to me, it means a lot to my students who are mixed to see her on TV representing Japan, and seeing a resemblance,” says Harmony Egbe, a first-grade teacher in Okinawa whose mother is Japanese and father is Nigerian. “There’s an unspoken definition of what it means to be Japanese,” says Megumi Nishikura, co-director of the 2013 film Hafu: The Mixed-Race Experience in Japan. “Follow the customs, speak the language fully, look Japanese. She doesn’t click many of those boxes. That poses a challenge. People are having to redefine Japanese identity. She’s helping spread that conversation, which is remarkable.”

Japan’s leading companies have taken notice. The Citizen watch model that Osaka wore for the U.S. Open final almost sold out after her win. In the U.S., sales of the strings Osaka used on her Yonex racket rose 155% in the fourth quarter of 2018 compared with the previous quarter. Nissin, the instant-ramen giant, put her face on its cup of noodles. Among the other major deals announced since the Open: a sponsorship with Shiseido, the cosmetics company, and an agreement with automaker Nissan, which recently released a special-edition model to commemorate the partnership. A deal with an airline is likely to follow, as are those tied to major Olympics sponsors and an apparel company–her contract with Adidas conveniently expired at the end of 2018.

Osaka’s agent declined to reveal her endorsement income, but a person with knowledge of the market has estimated that she will go from earning about $ 2.5 million per year before the U.S. Open to taking in north of $ 15 million annually afterward.


Eight-figure investments come with thick strings attached. Osaka’s sponsors expect her to keep winning and to function as the public face of their brands. Osaka generally prefers to keep hidden. “Everyone around me has more confidence in me than I do in myself,” Osaka says. She’s given to self-deprecating comments like “I think everyone is cooler than me,” which come across as sincere rather than false modesty. And she excessively apologizes, for things large and small. Osaka said she was sorry for beating Williams, though no one deserved that victory more. And after one of our interviews, Osaka apologized for stepping over my computer bag, even though it was in her path.

Some of this comes from spending your childhood chasing tennis dreams rather than being social. “To go out of the way to make a friend, for example, you would have to say hi the morning, text them sometimes,” says sister Mari. “She doesn’t really put in the work for it.”

When asked her favorite moment of the post–U.S. Open victory tour, Osaka doesn’t mention going on Ellen or meeting LeBron James, one of her favorite athletes. Her pick: a trip to Universal Studios while in Singapore for the tour finals. “I got to skip the lines and stuff,” says Osaka. “So that was fun.”

Osaka is a star without the pretense, a multimillion-dollar corporate investment who still quotes Pokémon and predicts that fans should expect “just a whole bunch of awkwardness” from her off the court. Mari says she hasn’t noticed much of a change in her kid sister, aside from her more frequent shopping excursions online. “She’s going crazy,” says Mari. “Every day is like Christmas.”

If Osaka hasn’t changed, the expectations for her have. She’ll enter the Australian Open ranked fourth in the world and favored to make a deep run. But the field is loaded. The defending champion, Caroline Wozniacki, is ranked No. 3 in the world, while the two top-ranked players, Simona Halep and Angelique Kerber, each won a Grand Slam last year. Meanwhile, Serena Williams still looms. Williams reached the finals of the last two major tournaments. And the last time she played in Melbourne, in 2017, she defeated sister Venus in the final–while two months pregnant.

The end of the Williams era may not be here, but it is in sight. Osaka is wary of any “next Serena” label. She’s quieter than her idol, and she owns just one Grand Slam trophy to date. But she knows that it’s there for the taking. “You really never know what people can do,” Osaka says. “And how people can change. I don’t think there is ever going to be another Serena Williams. I think I’m going to be me. And I hope people are O.K. with that.”

This appears in the January 21, 2019 issue of TIME.
Sports – TIME


Gwyneth Paltrow has explained why Brad Pitt looks like his girlfriends

And it’s amazing.

brad pitt

The Brad Pitt girlfriend theory is one of our favourite things to ever happen, with the internet noticing the hilarious link between the Fight Club actor and his exes last year.

The theory, that sees Brad changing his look to resemble the woman he is dating, went viral after his split from Angelina Jolie, due to the internet rehashing his previous relationships.

This of course dubbed Brad as ‘the man who likes to look like his girlfriends’, and after looking at the viral side-by-side photographs of the actor and his former flames, we get it.

When he was with Angelina Jolie, he went for slicked black hair and shades. Jennifer Aniston? Long blonde beach waves. And Gwyneth Paltrow? An actual blonde pixie cut with a side fringe.

And it didn’t stop there, with more photographs surfacing of Brad looking identical to other former girlfriends, Christina Applegate, Juliette Lewis, Geena Davis and Thandie Newton, back in the day.

How did we not notice this before?

brad pitt relationships

Sipa Press/REX/Shutterstock

While the images and theory went viral, neither Brad nor his exes made a comment, that is until now.

And who was it? Gwyneth Paltrow.

brad pitt relationships


The 46-year-old actress and Goop founder took to Instagram to voice her thoughts on the theory, commenting on a fashion blogger’s Instagram of a newspaper article, entitled: ‘Brad: The man who likes to look like his girlfriends’.

Keeping her comment simple, she posted: ‘Or we like to look like him, let’s face it.’

This is hilarious.

But seriously, why do Brad and his exes look identical?

The post Gwyneth Paltrow has explained why Brad Pitt looks like his girlfriends appeared first on Marie Claire.

Marie Claire


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