Anatomy Of A Showtune: Inside the Horrible, Horrendous Holiday History of ‘You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch’

He really is a heel. He’s as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel. He’s a bad banana with a greasy black peel. He’s a monster. His heart’s an empty hole. His brain is full of spiders. He’s got garlic in his soul…
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Single During The Holidays? It Doesn’t Mean Being Lonely Or Alone

As the holiday season starts, singles may face questions from friends and family: “When are you getting serious about dating?”

In many families, seasonal festivities draw lines between who’s coupled and who’s not. Romantic partners are invited to holiday meals, included in family photographs, and seen as potential life mates – while “mere” friends are not. These practices draw a line between relationships seen as significant – and those which aren’t.

As I’ve argued in my research on the ethics and politics of the family, these practices reflect widespread assumptions. One is that everyone is seeking a romantic relationship. The second is more value-laden: living in a long-term romantic, sexual partnership is better than living without one. This fuels beliefs that those living solo are less happy, or lonelier, than couples.

These assumptions are so prevalent that they guide many social interactions. But research shows they’re false.

Why more Americans are living single

The truth is that more Americans are living unmarried and without a romantic partner. In 2005, the census for the first time recorded a majority of women living outside of marriage Although, of course, some unmarried women have romantic partners.

By 2010, married couples became a minority in the United States. The percentage of unmarried adults is at an all-time high, with more young adults choosing to live unmarried and without a romantic partner.

Personal finances likely plays a role in such choices. Millennials are worse off than earlier generations. There is a proven connection between economic resources and marriage rates – what legal scholar Linda McClain calls “the other marriage equality problem.” Lower incomes correlate with lower rates of marriage.

But changing family patterns are not simply the result of financial instability. They reflect choices: Not everyone wants romantic partnership and many singles see solo life as more conducive to flourishing and autonomy.

Single by choice

As I show in my book “Minimizing Marriage,” people have many different political or ethical reasons for preferring singlehood.

Some women become single mothers by choice. As sociologist Arlie Hochschild has argued, marriage brings extra work for women, making it less attractive than single life for some.

For other people, being single is simply a relationship preference or even an orientation. For example, there are those, referred to as “asexuals” and “aromantics,” who lack interest in sexual and romantic relationships.

Who are asexuals and aromantics?

Data from a 1994 British survey of more than 18,000 people showed 1 percent of the respondents to be asexual. Because asexuality is still little-known, some asexuals might not identify as such. And so, it’s possible that the true numbers could be higher.

Asexuals are people who do not feel sexual attraction. Asexuality is not simply the behavior of abstaining from sex, but an orientation. Just as straight people feel sexual attraction to members of a different sex, and gays and lesbians feel attraction to members of the same sex, asexuals simply do not feel sexual attraction. Asexuals can have romantic feelings, wanting a life partner to share intimate moments with and even cuddle – but without sexual feelings.

But some asexuals are also aromantic, that is, not interested in romantic relationships. Like asexuality, aromanticism is an orientation. Aromantics may have sexual feelings or be asexual, but they do not have romantic feelings. Both asexuals and aromantics face a lack of understanding.

Angela Chen, a journalist writing a book about asexuality, reports that her asexual interview subjects suffered from a lack of information about asexuality. As they failed to develop sexual attractions during puberty – while their classmates did – they asked themselves, “Am I normal? Is something wrong with me?”

But while asexuality is sometimes misunderstood as a medical disorder, there are many differences between an asexual orientation and a medical disorder causing a low sex drive. When asexuals are treated as “abnormal” by doctors or therapists, it does them a disservice.

Since the early 2000s, asexuals have exchanged ideas and organized through online groups. One such group, The Asexual Visibility and Education Network, for example, promotes the understanding that lack of sexual attraction is normal for asexuals, and lack of romantic feelings is normal for aromantics.

Asexuals, like aromantics, challenge the expectation that everyone wants a romantic, sexual partnership. They don’t. Nor do they believe that they would be better off with one.

Single and alone – or lonely?

Far from the stereotype of the lonely single, lifelong singles are less lonely than other older people, according to psychologist Bella DePaulo, the author of “Singled Out.” Nor are singles alone.

Many singles have close friendships which are just as valuable as romantic partnerships. But assumptions that friendships are less significant than romantic partnerships hide their value.

Understanding the reasons people have for remaining single might help to handle family stresses. If you’re single, you could take unwanted questioning as a teachable moment. If you’re the friend or family member of someone who tells you they’re happily single – believe them.

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What Women’s Election Day Victories Mean for the Affordable Care Act

Women’s economic security and access to health care have been under threat since long before President Trump took office, but his election acted as a catalyst—accelerating attacks on our bodily autonomy, health and basic rights. Trump and his allies have undermined the Affordable Care Act (ACA) in every branch of our government—pushing policies that destabilized the insurance market, caused premiums to skyrocket and expanded short-term junk insurance policies that don’t cover basic services like maternity care.

The midterm results were a direct reproach to that agenda. More women ran for and won elected office than ever before, often building platforms around protecting the ACA and pre-existing conditions—and health care was cited time and again as the top issue for women voters, who carried them to victory.

Feminists demonstrated at the Supreme Court in support of the Affordable Care Act in 2016 during oral arguments in a case seeking to weaken its contraceptive coverage mandate. (Victoria Pickering / Creative Commons)

None of this should come as a surprise. Women, especially women of color, have benefitted exponentially from the ACA. Since its implementation, 9.5 million women have gained health insurance and 55 million women are now guaranteed essential benefits like maternity care and birth control coverage, which were often excluded from policies previously. Before the ACA, insurers also routinely charged women up to 1.5 times more than men for the same policy because of common health issues like endometriosis, depression or even pregnancy, and nearly 80 percent of women become mothers but giving birth or having been pregnant was considered a pre-existing condition. Experts estimate that over half of all women and girls—67 million people—have pre-existing conditions.Thanks to the ACA, we’re now protected against that kind of gender discrimination.

The election of more than 100 women to Congress also served as a lightning rod of resistance against the scaled-up attacks on women’s reproductive health and rights that we’ve seen over the past two years, issues that go right to the core of women’s equality and economic security, and made clear a national demand for representation in Congress that reflects the current demographics and values of our country. Polls show that support for legal abortion is at historic highs among Democratic women voters, and growing among Republicans. (More than half of Republican women want Roe v. Wade kept intact.)

That’s also no surprise: One in four U.S. women will have an abortion before she’s 45, and those women are Democrats and Republicans. If we lose Roe, women everywhere will suffer—and women across party lines and state lines know that the right to our autonomy is the right to our destiny. Women know that the ability to choose if, when and how to have kids is inextricably linked to their economic success, health and wellbeing. Restricting or denying abortion access does irrevocable harm to our careers, families and economic security; research shows that women who are denied abortions and forced to carry pregnancies to term are four times more likely to experience poverty. Unwanted births also result in negative outcomes for children compared with planned pregnancies.

Make no mistake: the anti-abortion movement definitely had some wins this year, including the passage of personhood measures in Alabama and West Virginia and the confirmation of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. But the wave of feminists taking seats in the House come January will surely stymy some of the persistent efforts to shame, pressure and punish women for the decisions they make about their own lives that we’ve seen growing under Trump’s administration.

The majority of women voters cast their ballots for Democrats because they know women cannot be equal without reliable access to affordable health care and the ability to make choices about their bodies. In November, 41 percent of voters cited health care as the issue driving them to the polls. Women make up half of the population, the workforce and the electorate. Recognition for our voting power across party lines is long overdue, and guaranteeing women the right to plan their own families, and futures, is a fundamental part of that.

The historic wins for women on Election Day were also victories for the Affordable Care Act and the people who rely on its benefits—and that’s no coincidence. In Washington, the new feminists in Congress will have the great responsibility of echoing the message voters sent them in the midterms: respect women’s rights and protect our health care.

Margarida Jorge is the executive director of Health Care for America Now, the national grassroots coalition that ran a $ 60 million five-and-a-half year campaign from 2008-2013 to pass, protect and promote the Affordable Care Act and protect Medicare and Medicaid. HCAN has come back together to fight the Republicans’ all-out effort to take away America’s health care and put people at the mercy of the health insurance companies again.

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Your Money, Your Life: Episode 2 – “Does a Good Salary Mean You’re Financially Secure?”

Episode 2

“Does A Good Salary Mean You’re Financially Secure?”

Learn why your feelings and relationship with money are bigger determinants of your sense of financial security than the numbers on your pay check, with guest Jacquette M. Timmons, President & CEO, Sterling Investment Management.



The new personal finance podcast, Your Money, Your Life is sponsored by Prudential and hosted by Black Enterprise’s own Alfred Edmond Jr. This special series features a lineup of great guests including The Breakfast Club’s Angela Yee; DeForest B. Soaries Jr., founder of the dfree Financial Freedom Movement; Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche; and Jacquette M. Timmons, president & CEO of Sterling Investment Management. The show will cover money topics ranging from how to control your debt to our psychological relationship with our finance. A can’t miss!

 

The post Your Money, Your Life: Episode 2 – “Does a Good Salary Mean You’re Financially Secure?” appeared first on Black Enterprise.

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Nickelback are immune to your mean tweets, in fact, they relish them

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Nickelback are pretty good sports when it comes to being one of the most ridiculed bands on the planet. I guess you have to be.

In the latest edition of Jimmy Kimmel’s way harsh segment “Mean Tweets,” music stars like Pink, Miley Cyrus, The Strokes, Schoolboy Q, Imagine Dragons, Tyga, Dua Lipa, and Gwen Stefani read out awful things people have written about them on Twitter.

Heck, Korn even takes a deep burn with a comparative reference to Nickelback. 

But it’s the ever-slammed, ever-noble Nickelback that takes the final blow, with lead singer Chad Kroeger offering up a quick comeback without missing a beat. Guess he’s heard it all before. Read more…

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Celebrate ‘Mean Girls Day’ in New York with themed goodies, freebies, drinks and screenings

Fetch is finally about to happen.

The stars have aligned this year for fans of “Mean Girls” as two important days tied to the movie happen at the same time.

To celebrate, area restaurants, bars and shops are offering themed treats, events and deals to pay homage to the 2004 hit high school comedy…

/entertainment – New York Daily News

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