This Simpsons Episode Had a Sneaky Mistake You Probably Missed

When you’ve been on the air for 29 seasons like The Simpsons has, there are bound to be a few slip-ups with the narrative’s continuity, something that the creators often take in stride. A pretty significant blunder, however, was recently re-discovered by executive producer Matt Selman, who took to social media on Wednesday to reveal the sneaky mistake on the beloved show.

In episode 13 of the sixth season, Marge tells Homer that she’s pregnant with Maggie, but keen-eyed viewers like Selman will notice that a picture of baby Maggie hangs on the wall behind Marge even though technically Maggie hasn’t been born yet.

Selman’s discovery prompted a response from The Simpsons writer Al Jean.

And led to many speculations about the repercussions of the mistake.

 


Entertainment – TIME

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Danny DeVito on the Trump Administration: ‘They Probably Don’t Even Care About Their Own Grandchildren’

Photo Illustration by The Daily Beast

BEVERLY HILLS, California — “I’ve always been self-centered and hedonistic,” says Danny DeVito, flashing a naughty smile.

We’re seated together on a couch off the lobby of the Beverly Hilton, where the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (minus Glenn Howerton) has assembled to entertain members of the Television Critics Association as part of its summer press tour. The 13th season of the FX series will premiere on Sept. 5, and it’s already been renewed for a 14th, which will tie it with The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet as the longest running live-action sitcom in U.S. television history. 

DeVito plays Frank Reynolds, Dennis and Dee’s pistol-packing, prostitute-frequenting sorta-father—and arguably the most mischievous, thrill-seeking member of The Gang. Though the charming 73-year-old actor is quick to defend his iconic character: “Frank is not a bad guy—if you’re on his gift list. He does a lot of giving, takes care of them,” he says.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

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Traders expect that the Fed will probably ignore Trump’s rate complaints

President Donald Trump's criticism of monetary policy won't have much impact on how the Federal Reserve goes about its business, judging by initial market reaction. 
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‘I Probably Am the Person Referred to’ in Russian Hacking Indictment, Says Trump Adviser Roger Stone

Roger Stone late Friday acknowledged that he is likely the unnamed American referred to in an indictment of 12 Russian hackers issued by the Justice Department Thursday. Stone is not implicated in the hackers’ theft of Democratic emails, but appears to be one of several Americans whose interactions with the alleged hackers are detailed in the new indictment.

Stone, speaking to CNN’s Chris Cuomo, said “I certainly had a 24 word exchange with the persona Guccifer 2.0 over Twitter direct messages . . . I probably am the person referred to.”

The indictment (which can be read in full at Vox) accuses 12 members of the Russian GRU agency with hacking against staffers and infrastructure of the Clinton campaign and the Democratic National Committee. Those documents were then publicized by two online channels, a site called DCLeaks and a persona known as Guccifer 2.0.

Around August 15 of 2016, while “posing as Guccifer 2.0,” the hackers “wrote to a person who was in regular contact with senior members of the presidential campaign of Donald J. Trump,” according to the indictment. The exchange, recounted in paragraph 44 of the indictment, matches a known Twitter interaction with Stone, in which “Guccifer 2.0” praised Stone as a “great man” and offered to help Stone and the Trump campaign.

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Stone, an occasionally close Trump adviser and heir to the Roy Cohn/Richard Nixon school of political ‘dirty tricks,’ has previously confirmed the interaction with Guccifer 2.0. But he reiterated to Cuomo on Friday that the interaction was “benign” and “innocuous,” and the known interaction does not contain evidence of cooperation between Guccifer 2.0 and the Trump campaign.

However, there are hints that the interaction may not have ended on Twitter. A few weeks later, Stone wrote on Twitter that “it will soon [be] Podesta’s time in the barrel,” implying foreknowledge of the planned schedule of email leaks – though Stone has claimed that was merely a coincidence. Stone also praised Guccifer 2.0 as “a hero,” however, and wrote an article for Breitbart.com arguing that Guccifer 2.0 was not linked to Russia.

In his conversation with Cuomo, Stone continued to hedge on the question of whether Guccifer 2.0 was in fact a Russian front, emphasizing that the new indictment consists of allegations rather than proven facts. In the face of near-universal consensus among U.S. intelligence agencies on Guccifer 2.0’s links to the GRU, Stone’s denials may suggest anxiety about future findings by Robert Mueller’s investigation. And it certainly reflects his often-repeated modus operandi: “Admit nothing. Deny everything. Launch counter-attack.”

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The secret Amazon Prime perk you probably don’t know about

If you’re an Amazon Prime member, you can now get six months of free digital access to the Washington Post.

Amazon Prime perk: Free digital newspaper access

Available to new digital Washington Post subscribers only, this exclusive offer saves you $ 10 a month. To take advantage, simply follow this link and log in with your Amazon account information to start your free trial.

After the free trial expires, your subscription will automatically renew at $ 3.99 a month. You can cancel anytime.

Washington Post offer for Amazon Prime members
Washington Post offer for Amazon Prime members

If you want to make sure that you don’t get billed down the road, go ahead and set a calendar reminder (or two) to cancel the subscription six months from now.

I’ve made a note on a wall calendar, plus with Google’s free calendar tool.

In addition to free two-day shipping on millions of items, Amazon Prime members get access to TV shows and movies, music streaming, eBooks, photo storage and so much more.

An Amazon Prime membership costs $ 119 a year or $ 12.99 per month.

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You probably shouldn’t wear these 7 things as a wedding guest this summer

You probably shouldn’t wear these 7 things as a wedding guest this summer


You probably shouldn’t wear these 7 things as a wedding guest this summer

If you’re dreading purchasing another dress to wear to your eighth wedding this summer, we get you—wedding season is a lot to handle. There’s no shame in re-wearing outfits from one event to another, and you can pretty much wear any dress of your choosing so long that it is appropriate for a wedding. That last part is important, because there are a number of different outfit mishaps that often occur at weddings, the pros say. To ensure you don’t make a fashion misstep, we chatted with four stylists to find out what you should or maybe shouldn’t wear as a guest this summer. Here are their best suggestions on what to avoid.

Anything that even resembles white.

You know the drill—the bride should be the only one wearing white at the wedding. This includes every color that could potentially be considered in the white family, such as cream, bone, ivory, beige, and off-white. The one and only exception to this rule is if the bride and groom are having a “white-themed wedding” and request that their guests wear the hue. Still, even in this case, Ali Levine, celebrity stylist, fashion expert, and TV personality, warns guests never to wear anything that looks like a wedding dress.

Denim anything.

If you’re thinking of pulling a throwback to that iconic Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake denim moment, don’t. “Save your jeans for the backyard BBQ! Jeans are not welcome at a wedding no matter how casual it is,” says Toni Ferrara, a celebrity stylist who’s dressed Kim Kardashian, Matthew McConaughey, and Kate Beckinsale. “It’s just not a fabric that is meant to have a wedding moment.” Make sure your date knows this, too.

Anything too revealing.

Style experts agree that all eyes should be on the bride. “Drawing attention to you in a ‘sexual’ way is disrespectful in my opinion,” says Rayne Parvis, a certified Style Coach, personal stylist, media personality and author of Ultimate Guide to Style: From Drab to Fab!. She recommends staying away from anything too tight, that reveals too much cleavage, or with a completely open back. “A great rule of thumb is to accentuate one body part in a respectful way, not all three; cleavage, legs, and back,” she adds. Mayes agrees, adding, “Not only will your outfit be frowned upon, but you just may fall right out of that extremely plunging neckline.”

Caiaimage/Tom Merton/Getty Images

Related article: A comprehensive guide to wedding guest attire 

Out-of-season hues.

Levine recommends wearing colors that are in-line with the summer season, so keep your orange-, auburn- and maroon-colored gowns in the closet until fall and winter. “Certain colors, fabrics, and aesthetics tell us it’s summer and makes us feel a certain way about that season,” she says. “Do not show up wearing fall colors and heavy fabrics in June, July, or August.”

A dress that matches the wedding colors.

Unless you’re in the wedding party, Parvis warns against intentionally wearing colors to match. “If you’re not a bridesmaid and you show up dazzling in the same color, it will appear you’re trying to be part of the wedding party versus a guest,” she says. “You’ll get questions and confusing looks.”

An oversized hat.

Sure, you hate it when the sun’s in your eyes, but that’s what sunglasses are for. Leave your oversized hats out of the equation when it comes to selecting your wedding attire. “Excessively large hats may block the view of the other guests, especially if you are seated in the front row,” says Ty-Ron Mayes, a celebrity stylist who appeared on America’s Next Top Model. “If you do not want to wear a smaller hat, consider a fascinator. Your sense of style and appropriateness will be well received.”

Anything too casual.

It might be hot, or even a beach-themed wedding, but leave your poolside attire where it belongs. “Unless the bride and groom tells you in the invitation to bring a change of casual clothing, or that it is a casual affair, stay nicely dressed,” says Levine. The same goes for your shoes. “Leave sandals at home—even if they’re beautiful.”

This article originally appeared on Martha Stewart Weddings.

The post You probably shouldn’t wear these 7 things as a wedding guest this summer appeared first on HelloGiggles.

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The touching Meghan Markle moment you probably missed from the carriage drive

Sky news presenter, Sarah-Jane Mee was at the heart of the action…

Photo by REX/Shutterstock
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Carriage Procession, Windsor, Berkshire, UK – 19 May 2018

You may think you have gleaned every. single. detail from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s (AKA the Duke and Duchess of Sussex) glorious wedding day, from the secret to Meghan’s wedding hair, to those now immortal words Prince Harry whispered to Meghan at the altar in St George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle (that resulted in two billion people across the globe becoming overnight lip-reading experts). But chances are, you weren’t actually there, on the front line where the action was playing out in real time.

Thankfully for us, Sky news presenter, Sarah-Jane Mee was, for the entirety of the celebrations, and has given us these behind-the-scenes tidbits that will have you reliving the Royal wedding for the billionth time (and no, we’re not sorry about it…).

‘The first glimpse we caught of Meghan was her arrival in the car to huge cheers in her Givenchy dress by designer Clare Waight Keller, it was a choice nobody predicted, her veil embroidered with flowers from all 53 countries of the Commonwealth and her Queen Mary diamond tiara was on loan from the Queen.

There was some rather amusing scenes amongst the Royals, as American Bishop Michael Curry delivered his sermon – the Queen looked a little bemused, the Duchess of Cornwall looked highly amused, Meghan looked thrilled. His style was loud and passionate, far from the quiet restraint we usually see at Royal weddings. The crowds outside loved it and he got a huge round of spontaneous applause.

Plenty of celebrity guests were in the Chapel including Carey Mulligan and her husband Marcus Mumford who is a great friend of Harry’s, Tom Hardy, Serena Williams, the cast of Suits and Idris Elba who secured an invite through his involvement with the Princes Trust charity – he said if it wasn’t for a grant from the Prince’s Trust he wouldn’t have got his start in acting… imagine that!

As they left the Chapel, we saw the couple kiss at the top of the steps… as they made their way to the bottom a cheeky member of the crowd shouted “how about another one!”, Harry laughed and looked at the crowd as if to say you’ll have to wait for that!

Following them out Prince Charles took both the arm of his wife the Duchess of Cornwall but also Meghan’s mother Doria, a lovely touch to show she is now part of the family, too.

The couple’s procession was infront of 100,000 strong crowd – fans had flown over from Canada, California, Malaysia as well as from up and down the UK.

Meghan pointed out a homemade sign from teenager Ayesha who had made a sign saying ‘Congratulations from Sussex’ to Harry as they went past. Also, Meghan’s old drama teacher was watching on the Long Walk, and Meghan spotted her saying ‘oh my god!’.

Elton John performed at the lunch reception and there were speeches from Prince Harry and his father. Guests like Serena Williams, the Clooneys, the Beckhams and Oprah Winfrey enjoyed bowl food of Pea and Mint risotto and Windsor Pork Belly.

Meghan choosing to speak at the more intimate evening gathering of 200 friends and family – a modern end to a traditional with the best of British and American – a perfect blend for a happy couple and very happy crowd.’

The post The touching Meghan Markle moment you probably missed from the carriage drive appeared first on Marie Claire.

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Hillary Clinton: Being a Capitalist ‘Probably’ Hurt Me in Primary Because Many Democrats Are Socialists

Eduardo Munoz

Hillary Clinton claimed Wednesday that declaring herself to be a “capitalist” during the 2016 presidential primaries may have hurt her with Democratic voters.

“Probably,” she said when asked by Time Inc. Brands CCO Alan Murray if the declaration hurt her. The pair appeared in conversation as part of the Shared Value Leadership Summit in New York City.

“It’s hard to know but I mean if you’re in the Iowa caucuses and 41 percent of Democrats are socialists or self-described socialists, and I’m asked ‘Are you a capitalist?’ and I say, ‘Yes, but with appropriate regulation and appropriate accountability.’ You know, that probably gets lost in the ‘Oh my gosh, she’s a capitalist!’” Clinton concluded, partly referring to the popularity of her primary rival, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT), who ran as a self-declared democratic socialist.

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Here’s our best look at one iPhone X clone you’re probably not going to buy

LG G7 ThinQ Release Date

Android fans will have a hard time choosing their iPhone X clone this year, given that there are so many of them. And they’re not just coming from obscure companies in China looking to make a quick buck by copying the latest iPhone design Apple just released.

All the popular companies are doing it too, including Huawei, Asus, OnePlus, and LG. Today’s new leak shows us exactly how LG’s version will look like. That’s the LG G7 ThinQ that very few of you will line up to buy.

Continue reading…

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  2. There’s a subwoofer hiding in Amazon’s $ 95 sound bar

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Here’s our best look at one iPhone X clone you’re probably not going to buy originally appeared on BGR.com on Tue, 24 Apr 2018 at 23:34:02 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.


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Based on These Quotes, Someone’s Very Probably Dying in ‘Avengers: Infinity War’

Before Captain America: Civil War, there was speculation that an Avenger would die in the movie. Which didn’t come to fruition. And in the run-up to the release of Avengers: Infinity War, there has been similar chatter online. With the world strangely obsessed with one of earth’s mightiest heroes kicking the bucket for our viewing pleasure.

So we asked the directors of those movies — Joe Russo and Anthony Russo — how they felt about this desire for Avenger death. You can watch what they said in the video above, or continue reading below.


Avengers: Infinity War directors Anthony and Joe Russo.

“I think they all crave stakes,” came the response from Joe regarding the fans. “To be honest, you diminish the power of something if it doesn’t have an ending at some point. It has to have an ending. For us, as comic book fans, we appreciate when a character death would occur in the books, because then a new run; a new voice would come in years later and re-interpret the characters.

“For us, I think it’s valuable that this 10-year experiment comes to a close. Prior to a new experiment beginning with new characters. So there will be some endings, and new beginnings out of this. But this is the final chapter of this book.”

We followed up by being more direct about whether an Avenger might actually die in this instalment.

“This closure could involve death,” came the response from Joe, understandably keeping his cards close to his chest. “We certainly appreciate stakes, and we’re not afraid of stakes from a storytelling standpoint. And I will say that Thanos is without question the most difficult villain that the heroes have faced.

“The theme of the movie is: ‘What does it take to be a hero in a complicated world?’ Well, the Avengers are going to have to answer that question in spades because it’s going to cost them a lot in order to defeat Thanos. He’s a nearly invincible character with a genius-level intelligence.”

We reckon that definitely, nearly, almost, surely, maybe, certainly means an Avenger will die during Infinity War. The next question is, which one?

Avengers: Infinity War hits AU screens April 25, UK screens April 26, and US screens April 27.

‘Infinity Gauntlet’ Might Hold the Secret to Defeating Thanos in ‘Infinity War’

Every Avenger Confirmed For ‘Infinity War’: UPDATED With New Character Posters

The post Based on These Quotes, Someone’s Very Probably Dying in ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ appeared first on FANDOM.

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The Dirty Dozen: 12 Places You Probably Never Clean But Definitely Should

So, you think your house is clean? Well… you might have to think again! If you’re like most people, there are areas that you never even think about cleaning, unlikely places where dirt, dust, and germs may be lurking. Even if your home has its share of “dirty little secrets,” you’re not alone: A 2012 survey sponsored by Kenmore found that nearly half of Americans—49 percent—say they cut corners when vacuuming by skipping areas underneath or behind furniture, and clean only when they see visible dirt on the floor. Because identifying the problem is the first step toward a cure, here are some commonly overlooked areas of the home that should be added to your housekeeping regimen—and some tips on how to maximize your cleaning efforts.
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According to Johnny Galecki, “The Big Bang Theory” is probably ending after Season 12

According to Johnny Galecki, “The Big Bang Theory” is probably ending after Season 12


According to Johnny Galecki, “The Big Bang Theory” is probably ending after Season 12

The Big Bang Theory is currently in its 11th season. And even though we don’t want to think about it, all good things must come to an end. Johnny Galecki just hinted that The Big Bang Theory may end after Season 12, and we’re already in tears. We’ve been lucky to have the show in our lives since 2007. Can’t it just last forever?!

According to People, Galecki revealed the info at the Television Critics Association winter press tour on Saturday, January 6th. “The only manner in which the cast has discussed wrapping [The Big Bang Theory] has been that we’re all going to be very sad when that day comes,” Galecki told reporters, according to TV Line. “But I think at this point everyone’s very comfortable with 12 seasons being a good time to go home and see our families.”

Again, cue our tears. After all, at this point, we know The Big Bang Theory characters so well. It’s like they’re friends of ours, and we’re constantly wondering what they’re up to. Of course, we’ll still have Young Sheldon, the Big Bang Theory spinoff. In fact, it was just renewed for a second season, Deadline reports.

If you haven’t seen the show yet — which revolves around a young Sheldon, of course — you’re missing out. Young Sheldon is the #1 new comedy and the #2 comedy on television, according to recent ratings, Deadline Hollywood reported.

What’s first? The Big Bang Theory, of course. No surprise there!

Which is why we’re so sad that the next season of The Big Bang Theory might be the show’s last.

While we wait to see what happens, we’re glad we have Young Sheldon.

Young Sheldon has made a huge impact on our schedule in the short time it’s been on the air,” Kelly Kahl, President, CBS Entertainment, said in a statement, reported Entertainment Weekly. “While the show’s DNA is clearly rooted in The Big Bang Theory, Young Sheldon has staked out its own place in the TV universe with a unique creative tone, brilliant writing and a gifted multi-generational cast.”

BRB, praying to the TV gods.

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If you’re like us, you’re probably bingeing Season 2 of The…

If you’re like us, you’re probably bingeing Season 2 of The Crown, released by Netflix today. We put together a quick recap of Season 1 for those of you who didn’t get a chance to revisit. And once you’ve streamed all of Season 2, we have a list of British shows to watch if you love The Crown, so you can keep a stiff upper lip.

Read more.

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The Best Games You (Probably) Didn’t Play in 2017

2017 is almost over – and what a year it’s been for gamers. With the medium giving us everything from mind-blowing AAA epics like The Legend Of Zelda: The Breath Of The Wild, to heart-wrenching indie masterpieces like What Remains Of Edith Finch, interactive entertainment has had one of its finest 12 months in recent memory. Yet, despite us being being able to whittle that lofty list down to the ten best games of the year, there were also a lot of brilliant releases that we feel didn’t get the love they deserved. Here are 2017’s best kept gaming secrets:

10. Xenoblade Chronicles 2



OK, OK, we know that in the great scheme of things, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 isn’t exactly a hidden gem. Yet, with this beautifully crafted RPG launching right at the end of the year, its bound to looked over by the vast majority.

Serving as a numbered sequel to the Wii’s critically acclaimed Xenoblade Chronicles, this standalone adventure helps Switch owners scratch that open world itch. While its characters my be grating for everyone but the biggest JRPG fan, the game’s rich and expansive world is one that is definitely worth exploring. Boasting over a hundred hours of gameplay and some of the best (docked) visuals on Nintendo’s new console, this is a highly ambitious game that largely lives up to its potential.

It may not be getting the attention of Nintendo’s other first party releases, but make no mistake, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is a Switch game that’s definitely worth your time and money.

  9. ODE



The poor old rhythm game genre hasn’t exactly had the best run of it recently. With both 2016’s Guitar Hero and Rock Band 4 failing to find an audience, its once again fallen to Indies to keep the pulse-pounding, rythmic action alive.  Or in Ode‘s case … Indie-ish. Developed by Ubisoft Reflections, (the team that brought gamers the brilliantly bizarre platformer Grow Home)  the studio’s latest project has once again successfully flipped a well-worn genre on its head.

Doing away with flashing icons, rhythm meters and any other user interface you’d rightly expect from a video game, Ode takes the musical platformer back to basics. Playing as an adorable marshmallow-esque creature trapped in a ball, Ode sees you joyously bouncing into everything around you. As you bombard your surroundings, a pleasing little rhythm section beings. Yet its when you collect items that the real fun beings. As you roll into glowing orange orbs or fallen stars, you turn the game world into your very own interactive orchestra.

It’s a game that can’t help but put a grin on your face, leaving the player in charge of amassing more orbs and conducting their very own masterpiece. If you own a PC, this little gem is definitely worth a download. Once again, Ubisoft Reflections has proudly proved that less really is more.

  8. Ruiner



2017 has once again been a good year for indie darlings Devolver Digital. Making its name with indie breakout hits like Hotline Miami, the last twelve months saw the sassy and subversive company release the unique 3D fighter Absolver as well as a mind-bending VR remake of The Talos Principle. Yet, for our money its best game this year went completely overlooked — Ruiner.

Ditching the 2D side scrolling of Hotline Miami, this neon-soaked nightmare takes the top down shooter and drags it kicking and screaming into 3D. Set in a predictably nasty post apocalyptic city called Regnkok, this unforgiving action game takes its visual cues from Akira and Blade Runner.

Thanks to some unique teleport mechanics and its wonderfully seedy sense of atmosphere, Ruiner takes a well-worn formula and pummels it into an experience that’s entirely its own. If you’re not afraid of a game that challenges you, Devolver’s latest perfectly blend frantic gameplay with a compelling dystopian setting. Mindless violence doesn’t get much cooler than this.

7. Golf Story



There are some age old combinations that just work. Chocolate and peanut butter, whiskey and coke … and now it seems you can add the blend of golf and old school RPG to that list. Golf Story is a Switch exclusive indie game that relives the glory days of the 90s with Camelot’s Mario Golf series.

These beloved handheld golf games saw players attempting to rise up through the ranks and become the greatest golfer in the mushroom kingdom. Yet, with recent entries sadly lacking the RPG elements that made the series so well-loved, developer Sidebar Games has decided to pick up the putter and put the genre back on course.

With some brilliant writing, suitably charming retro visuals and more angst-fuelled gold than you can shake a wedge iron at, Golf Story is a brilliantly nostalgic game. If you’re looking for an indie game to play in bed while you watch crap TV, you could do far worse than this wonderfully endearing adventure.

6. ECHO



Imagine a game where the AI not only watches you, but learns from your every move too. That’s the premise behind ECHO, a tense sci-fi stealth-em-up from Danish indie studio — Ultra Ultra. Created by ex Hitman developers who branched away from IO interactive, this developer’s debut title took the stealth genre into new and surprising territory.

In this sci-fi adventure, players are tasked with exploring a mysterious AI-controlled palace that watches their every move. As the game takes you deeper into its eerily abandoned passages and elaborately decorated hallways, you soon discover an almost infinite number of AI apparitions waiting for you.

The twist? These disturbing robots look identical to the player’s avatar. If that wasn’t bad enough, thanks to the ever watchful eye of the palace, these replicas slowly begin to mimic your actions too, learning from your every move.



While this may sound like little more than a gimmick, ECHO’s core gameplay loop is actually as alluring as it is terrifying. Every time you enter a new area, your disturbing doppelgängers are initially fairly harmless as you scout out the room before you. While they can grab you if you get too close, they can only walk very slowly, lacking any kind of ranged weaponry or an understanding of how doors work. You’d almost feel sorry for the dopey bots, if they weren’t watching intently, waiting for you to slip up.

This 2017 gem is one of the most original and intriguing releases we had the pleasure of playing this year. In a time where graphics are looking their best but AI hasn’t made that next-gen leap, avoid this ambitious gem at your own peril.

5. ARMS


Arms Nintendo Switch

In a year that’s arguably been dominated by flagship Nintendo franchises its easy to forget that 2017 also saw the Big N launch its first new hardcore gaming IP in two years. Just like it did with its squid-based shooter, Splatoon, this time the Japanese giant has decided to take apart the fighting genre and reassemble it into something equally fresh.

Created by the team behind Mario Kart 8, ARMS is (unsurprisingly) another game that’s almost overwhelmingly colourful.  Thankfully though, this game is more than just a looker. Bringing back motion controls with a vengeance, Nintendo proves that the Switch’s Joycon are a far cry from the inaccurate waggling that plagued the Wiimote.

Initially, you’d expect motion controls to reduce this unique-feeling brawler to little more than a basic flail fest. Yet, surprisingly, ARMS intuitive control scheme actually offers players a fairly extensive amount of tactical options. With the Switch’s joy-con able to accurately read precisely how you choose to curve your fighter’s stretchy limbs, playing locally or online makes each battle a delightfully tense reading of player tells.


Arms Nintendo Switch

Unfortunately though, it lacks the meaty single-player component of a game such as Splatoon, which combined with its dubious looking motion controls led to many Switch owners giving this fighting gem a mess.

In short, ARMS lives and dies on local and online multiplayer, but with Nintendo churning out more free DLC content than you can shape a floppy arm at, there’s a hell of a lot of multiplayer fun to be had here.

 

4. RIME


Rime by Tequila Works

While most games delight in immersing us in fictitious worlds, when it came to RIME’s fantastical setting, developer Tequila Works decided instead to take inspiration from its own backyard – The Mediterranean. Boasting a gorgeous cel-shaded art style, RIME’s sun-soaked vistas feel immediately evocative of Spanish beaches, with the game’s massive island oozing colour from every pixel.

Waking up on this strange but alluring island, RIME sees players exploring its beautiful and mysterious locales. Taking cues from games like Journey and The Witness, this puzzle-heavy exploration game drops dialogue and combat in favour of immersing players inside an atmospheric adventure. If you’re looking for a calming game to play after a long day, this is the perfect interactive stress buster.

To reveal more about what makes this touching tale so special, however, would be spoiling the experience. If you’re after a more laid-back, Team Ico style gaming experience, this indie gem is just the ticket. The less said about the terrible Switch port, however, the better.

3.  Little Nightmares


Little Nightmares

At first glance, Little Nightmares looks like a nice side-scrolling adventure from the team that brought you Little Big Planet Vita. Look a little closer and you’ll discover that things aren’t quite as sickly sweet in this terrifying world of Tim Burton-like horror.

Putting players in the shoes of a nameless protagonist, you awaken to find yourself trapped in an unfamiliar and giant world. It doesn’t take long to realize how dangerous and twisted these bleak new surroundings really are.

Feeling like Coraline, the video game, gorgeous visuals, spine tingling sound effects and brilliantly implemented puzzles make Little Nightmares a wonderfully atmospheric and unique experience. With an intriguing new DLC released for the game a few months back, and the main game currently on sale on STEAM, now’s the perfect time to dive into this captivating little horror title.

2.  Hellblade



It’s not every day that a game developer manages to combine atmospheric action with a poignant look at mental health. Yet, somehow, that’s exactly what DMC creators Ninja Theory have pulled off.

Inspired by Norse mythology, Hellblade puts players in the shoes of Senua, a warrior who is determined to rescue the soul of her dead partner from the goddess of Hela. Yet, while her journey to Helheim would be difficult enough with just the dangerous foes that stand before her, at the same time she faces another equally deadly enemy – psychosis.

Made in combination with British mental health charity, The Welcome Trust, Hellblade effectively and respectfully tackles mental illness in a harrowingly effective way. With each of your in game actions scrutinised by a cacophony of arguing voices, and your brain often warping the environment around you, Hellblade leaves players in a constant state of stress. Are the demons Senua is facing real?  Can you trust any of the voices that are guiding her?

Hellblade is a game that’s brave, beautiful and utterly unforgettable. If you’re looking for a game that feels great to play and simultaneously gives you insight into a difficult topic, then there are few better examples than Hellblade.

1. Night in the Woods



Following in the footsteps of our favourite college-dorm adventure, Life Is Strange, Night In The Woods is another cleverly written narrative-driven experience that swaps arcade thrills for real-life struggles. Put in the shoes of struggling 20-year-old Mae, players find themselves suddenly returning to her quiet home town after a mysterious incident sees her dropping out of college.

What starts off as a quirky adventure slowly unfolds into a surprisingly moving tale that tackles everything from depression to existentialism … all while letting you eat pizza with your pals and slap some mean bass lines along the way.

Thanks to a beautiful hand-drawn art style and its (at times) heart-wrenchingly relatable dialogue, you’ll soon find yourself invested in Possum Springs’ loveable cast of animal characters. We’re still not sure why this story about the hardships of being human is full of animals, but it looks great, so who cares?

If you’re after an easy-to-play and moving adventure, this well-written and charming little indie is one of the most intriguing things you can play this year.

The post The Best Games You (Probably) Didn’t Play in 2017 appeared first on Fandom powered by Wikia.

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5 reasons why we’re (probably) still looking for love online

Promotional feature with eharmony

Don’t wait for fate…

When it comes to finding a potential relationship online, we singles are a hardened lot. From playing dating app bingo (which one actually works?), to encountering that all too familiar ‘Greg and I have this really cute single friend you just HAVE to meet’ (yawn), the search for a mate in the modern world has become a tricksy thing.

So, it’s time to step away from the swipe. Relationship site eharmony is here to help you get ahead in the game, using a unique scientific matching system to ensure that you are paired with potential partners based on key characteristics and compatibility. Using an in-depth questionnaire, eharmony works out all those wonderful ‘isms’ that make us individual (yes, even that closet obsession with Tudor romance novels), and finds someone that’ll love us as a person, not a profile.

Not convinced? Ask yourself why you are still looking for love online, then let eharmony show you the way…

I’m too busy…
Ah, that old chestnut. Between nailing life 24/7 (gym, children, work, generally being amazing) ‘finding the time’ to meet someone special is a struggle, which is why eharmony are on hand to do most of the legwork. Once you’ve filled in your questionnaire, a search is conducted across millions of singles based on 18 Key Dimensions that are crucial for relationship success. Then hey presto, a lovely batch of potential matches is delivered to your inbox daily to peruse as and when you wish. Yes, even during your lunch break. Happy days.

I’m too picky…
Stop that, right now. Now, we appreciate that if you’ve had a run of bad dates (it happens), internet-weary singletons can sometimes feel like they are setting the bar too high. Not true. Only you know what makes you happy, and that is SO important when looking for a fulfilling, long-lasting relationship. If you are honest with yourself about what you want, then eharmony will find matches with a similar line of thinking. Don’t ever settle for second best, you gorgeous thing!

I’ve lost my confidence…
Looking for love online is a double-edged sword for a lot of singles. If you’re newly out of a relationship, it can be a way of easing you back into the dating game. For others, it’s the simple fact they might not feel comfortable meeting people the ‘old-fashioned way’, i.e. in a pub/nightclub. Using a relationship site like eharmony can help rebuild that confidence as you can take things at your own pace and be assured the scientific formula is introducing you only to people you will be compatible with. Great relationships are built with trust and over time. So breathe, and take things as they come.

I’m not everyone’s ‘usual’ type…
Define ‘usual’. Never judge yourself based on the profiles you see. It’s the unique things we’re into that make us amazing, and trust us – there is someone out there that’ll adore your Jaffa Cake addiction.

I’m a believer…
*fist pump* Yes, you are! And never let go of that. Since launching in 2008, eharmony has made millions of matches that have led to relationships, marriages and yes, even babies. So don’t wait for fate. Shake off that last date disaster Carrie Bradshaw-style, and let the experts take the lead.

 

 

The post 5 reasons why we’re (probably) still looking for love online appeared first on Marie Claire.

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Why Meghan Markle and Prince Harry will probably get married at this time

Pencil it into your diaries

prince harry and meghan markle wedding

From the Editors of InStyleUK
Words by Jennifer Davis

Will royal wedding bells be ringing soon? All signs point to yes. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have had several important milestones lately, including their first public appearance at the Invictus Games in Toronto, but the most telling indication that an engagement announcement is forthcoming is a recent meeting with Queen Elizabeth herself.

According to the Daily Mail, the Suits actress met with Her Majesty on Thursday, two days after she returned from her extended summer trip to Scotland. Since Prince Harry is fifth in line to the throne, he must get the Queen’s approval to marry, and it seems like she’s received the official royal thumbs up.

Markle has already been introduced to his father Prince Charles and step-mother the Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, as well as brother Prince William and Duchess Kate, so the meeting with the Queen was the final royal approval the 33-year-old Prince needed. 

With all the royals aligned, it seems like they’ve already begun discussing a wedding date. “William and Kate are expecting their third baby mid April, and Harry won’t want to overshadow the birth of another prince or princess, and, of course, the Duchess will need some time to recover before she is at such a high-profile event,” a source told Vanity Fair. “The most likely date is early summer 2018, which neatly ties in with Harry and Meghan’s second anniversary.”

Markle recently told the producers of the USA show Suits that she won’t be returning for another season, which has everyone believing that they may already be engaged. We’ll be waiting with bated breath for the official announcement. 

The post Why Meghan Markle and Prince Harry will probably get married at this time appeared first on Marie Claire.

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5 offbeat baby shower gifts you probably didn’t consider (but should!)

by

Sabrina Garibian

posted in Products

Now that I’m a mom I’m very aware of what a new mom needs after she has a baby. When I shop for baby shower gifts, I try to include a few small things that the mom can use to help ease her into motherhood.

Sure, you can buy baby clothes, a changing pad, or baby’s stroller if you like, but it’s always nice to think of how the mom will feel and what she might enjoy as she enters motherhood.

Here are 5 baby shower gifts you probably didn’t think of but should add to your list:

1. Water bottle

thermos funtainer purple bottle

After I had each of my kids I had unquenchable thirst. I could drink water all day long and often kept a water bottle on me at all times. I love this Thermos water bottle because it keeps my drink cold and holds a good amount of water. Most importantly, it doesn’t leak!

Thermos Funtainer 16 oz bottle (Amazon, $ 19.99)

2. Robe

white robe

In those first few weeks of motherhood, even getting dressed is a challenge. Why not treat the new mom-to-be with a sensible robe she can throw on over her pajamas during her maternity leave? I know several moms who added robes to their baby registries and they all received them as gifts at their baby showers.

Seven Apparel Hotel Spa Robe (Amazon, $ 18.99)

3. Protein Bars… or chocolate

case of luna bars

Quick, filling snacks for the parents are key to early parenthood survival. I preferred chocolate and my hubby preferred protein bars. We considered both to be a suitable lunch for at least the first two weeks after our first child was born.

Luna Bar Nutz over Chocolate (Amazon, $ 14.79/case)

4. Anything handmade

learn crochet kit

Not everyone agrees with me but I absolutely love homemade blankets, quilts, hats, and such. They are so precious and special and mean more to me than any gift anyone could buy.

Learn Crochet! kit (Amazon, $ 11.89)

5. A waterproof mobile phone cover

lifeproof phone case

Before long your baby will get his hands on a phone and you want to be prepared with a waterproof (read: drool-proof) phone cover. It’s a long story but I once dropped my phone in its Lifeproof case off a second floor balcony into a pool and the phone was perfectly intact.

Lifeproof NUUD case (Amazon, $ 34.95)

These gifts may seem unconventional for a baby shower gift or to put on your baby registry, but every mom I know would love to receive something she can use after baby’s delivery in addition to traditional baby gifts. Happy shopping!

What unconventional item did you put on your baby registry?

The post 5 offbeat baby shower gifts you probably didn’t consider (but should!) appeared first on BabyCenter Blog.

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Jobs numbers probably worse than government wants to admit

The job market didn’t go “splat” in August. But if it were drawn as a cartoon, the bubble above President Trump’s head would definitely say “Arghhh” — the sound of disappointment. The US Labor Department announced on Friday that job growth in August fell to 156,000. The experts on Wall Street had been expecting about…
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Former Quarterback Boomer Esiason: ‘All NFL Players Probably Have CTE’

Boomer Esiason played 14 seasons in the NFL until 1997. On his WFAN radio show, 'Boomer and Carton,' the former quarterback discussed the recent study about the high incidence of degenerative brain disease among NFL players' brains and said he – and

This article originally appeared on www.rollingstone.com: Former Quarterback Boomer Esiason: ‘All NFL Players Probably Have CTE’

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Raven-Symone: If Body Positivity Movement Was Around Years Ago, “I Probably Wouldn’t Have So Many Mental Issues”

I think we can all agree that social media has made people more bold and opinionated than ever. And while that has its setbacks, it has also fostered a sense of community and positivity among many different groups of people. Take for instance, the body positivity movement. With more and more people embracing their sizes, […]

The post Raven-Symone: If Body Positivity Movement Was Around Years Ago, “I Probably Wouldn’t Have So Many Mental Issues” appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Why Meera Reed Probably Still Has a Major Role to Play in Game of Thrones

Warning: This post contains spoilers for season seven of Game of Thrones.

Meera Reed may have left Winterfell to journey home in Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones, but it seems likely we haven’t seen the last of Bran Stark‘s longtime protector.

“I don’t want to leave you, but when they come I need to be with my family,” she told Bran, referring to the White Walkers. “And you’re safe. Well, as safe as anyone can be now. You don’t need me anymore.”

However, Bran responded rather numbly to her goodbye, offering only an indifferent thank you for her years of sacrifice. “That’s all you’ve got to say?” she asked in disbelief. “Thank you? My brother [Jojen] died for you. Hodor and Summer died for you. I almost died for you.”

But while Meera may be upset over how deeply Bran was changed by his transformation into the Three-Eyed Raven, her return to Greywater Watch — the ancestral seat of House Reed — could potentially set in motion a chain of events crucial to the series’ end.

We know that Meera is the daughter of Howland Reed — the only survivor of the showdown at the Tower of Joy other than Ned Stark. It was revealed during a season six flashback scene that Howland stabbed Ser Arthur Dayne in the back to prevent him from killing Ned in the battle — despite the fact that Ned always claimed he had personally defeated the legendary knight.

Considering what else happened at the Tower, Howland may be the only person alive who could testify that Jon Snow is not Ned’s illegitimate son but the child of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen — for those unwilling to take the word of a teenage boy claiming to be an all-knowing prophet.

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Howland apparently never told his children about his role in Robert’s Rebellion, but they seemed to be aware of his close friendship with Ned. Jojen even told Bran that the only time he ever saw his father cry was when he learned of Ned’s death. However, Howland hasn’t left Greywater Watch — a moving castle that can’t be reached by raven — since the Rebellion.

If Meera returns home and tells her father of everything she has seen and learned, he may realize it’s finally time to reveal the truth about Jon’s parentage. Or perhaps — as Reddit user ekky137 speculates from details in George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series — he has just been waiting for his moment all along.

Howland Reed is obviously supposed to be the most mysterious, enigmatic character in the series. I understand that it’s supposed to be like this. He’s supposedly a great fighter, he’s supposedly so adept at magic he can move or disguise an entire castle in a bog, and a great friend of Eddard Stark. So great that he sent his only two children North to pledge their service to Robb Stark when all the trouble broke out.

And then nothing. No word from him. There’s no chance in all seven hells that Howland Reed would stand for Roose Bolton after what he did at the Red Wedding. And yet he does nothing. What about the disappearance of his only two children? His beloved Meera and scrawny Jojen? He must’ve heard about the sacking of Winterfell, the ‘death’ of Bran and Rickon. He must certainly believe his children are either dead at the hands of the Ironborn/Boltons or on the run.

And yet he does nothing. Not only that, but nobody in the entire series seems surprised by this at all…Whatever secrets Ned [kept about] what happened at the Tower of Joy, it is highly likely that Howland Reed also shares them and is likely heavily involved in them. He probably knows of Jon’s true parentage (R+L=J or otherwise).

Characters in this series never fail to speak highly of him. They talk of how mysterious and great he is, but none ever question, even for a moment, why he he remains at the Neck doing nothing while Westeros collapses around him.

All of this leads me to believe that in fact, Howland can’t be doing nothing. He’s up to something.

Howland Reed hasn’t appeared on the show in the present day yet, but it feels like it’s time for him to finally show his face.

“Eastwatch,” the fifth episode of Game of Thrones‘ seventh season, airs Aug. 13 at 9 p.m. on HBO.


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Tech | New York Post

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No, you probably didn’t escape a sex trafficker at Ross

by

Laura Falin

posted in Life

I’m in quite a few Facebook moms’ groups. Some are local, some are with parents all over the country. If you’re in any as well, I’m betting you’ve seen the same “warnings” I have. There was one here just last week.

A mom warned us all that when she’d been at a local Ross store, she spotted three men in the store shopping for kids’ clothes. She says their behavior was suspicious, and called it “sex trafficking behavior at its best.” She posted pictures of them.

This post was shared more than 50,000 times (in more than one of the groups I’m in), and even our local news weighed in. According to police, the men had done nothing wrong and there was no indication of sex trafficking.

We had another incident here about a month ago, where a woman accused a man of sex trafficking outside a library…because he moved her stroller to get into his car.

I was reading the comments on this latest story, and even after a police report stating nothing was wrong, people still argued in the comments over whether this was a dangerous situation or an overreacting mom. There were a lot of people saying, “Human trafficking is a huge problem, and even if it didn’t happen this time, it could have — watch your kids!” and similar things.

I agree, keep an eye on your kids when you’re out shopping with them. I do, mostly because mine would fill my cart with sparkly shoes and stuffed animals the minute my back was turned. But this isn’t how sex trafficking works.

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, of the 20,500 missing children last year, 1 percent are abducted by non-family members. I’m not sure if this will make you feel better, but your kids are at least three times less safe driving to the store with you than they are when you get there. The same website says:

Of the more than 18,500 endangered runaways reported to NCMEC in 2016, one in six were likely victims of child sex trafficking. Of those, 86 percent were in the care of social services when they went missing.

-National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

This is important to us as parents for so many reasons. Most sex traffickers find victims in runaways, kids who have slipped through the cracks, kids who are looking for validation and support and not finding it. Traffickers look for easy targets and, frankly, you who keep an eye on your children and love and support them — you’re a pain in the ass. Our job isn’t to freak out every time someone comes within ten feet of us. Our job as loving parents is to support our own kids…and other kids who might need it. When we’re scared, we turn inward and only protect our own, when to combat trafficking, we need to be looking out for other kids, too.

Maybe we help with scout troops, or volunteer at a shelter, or help with programs that give kids purpose and importance and a network of people who care about them. Maybe we’re the house where kids choose to hang out. Maybe we just listen to kids — any kids — who want to pull up a chair for a minute and talk.

We can’t be scared every time we head to the store or the library or anywhere. We’re parents. We have so many things to think about, and so many things to do, we can’t be sidelined by fear, especially irrational fear.

So yes, we should keep an eye on our kids. They’re little and unpredictable and they do weird things we can’t explain. But let’s not be paranoid about this. Let’s be the helpers instead.

I linked to this article earlier in the post, but I really encourage you to read it. It’s a very thoughtful opinion from someone with a lot of experience in the matter.

Have you seen warnings like these on social media? How do you react?

Images by iStock. 

For more kids’ activities and easy recipes, you can find Laura at Peace but not Quiet, and on Facebook and Pinterest.

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Chuck Schumer Probably Cringes At His ‘Apprentice’ Appearance Now

WASHINGTON ― Incoming Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer has vowed to challenge President-elect Donald Trump, and he’s said, “He’s not my friend.”

But it was another matter when the New York Democrat hosted contestants from “The Apprentice” for a breakfast at Washington’s historic Hay-Adams Hotel in 2006.

Granted, it was a reality TV show, and Schumer has never been known as publicity-shy, but he didn’t make it sound like Trump was a threat to democracy.

“His father and my grandfather were builders together in Brooklyn,” Schumer told the Season 5 contestants. “Even when he was much younger, you knew he was going to go places.”

He certainly didn’t imagine that place was the White House.

The clip ends with Schumer offering some career advice.

“When you wake up Monday morning, do you feel in the pit of your stomach that you want to go to work? And if you can say yes to that, you’re in great shape,” Schumer said.

We’re not sure how Schumer’s stomach is feeling these days.

Do you work in a federal agency? Email us at scoops@huffingtonpost.com and let us know what you’re seeing and hearing, and if you’re thinking of staying in government for the next administration. To email us on an encrypted channel, write to huffpostscoops@protonmail.com 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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Why It’s Good to Have Nightmares, and What Your Nightmares (Probably) Mean

According to the Internet!​

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11 Beaches That Probably Aren’t for You

By Kelsie Ozamiz for the Orbitz Travel Blog

1. Bayahibe, Domincan Republic

Thanks, but no thanks.

Bayahibe DR_ shutterstock_238607218

 

2. Nosy Komba, Madagascar

Wouldn’t even be caught dead here.

Madagascar beach _ shutterstock_233850808

 

3. Oahu Island, Hawaii

Umm no. Just no.

oahu shutterstock_93125926

 

4. Nice, France

LOL…no.

French riviera shutterstock_95055031

 

5. Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

This is literally your worst nightmare.

Cabo sa lucas_ shutterstock_120221869

 

6. Big Sur, California

WTF is this? No.

big sur shutterstock_127674656

 

7. Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia

You’d probably just rather not.

gold coast aust shutterstock_135218933

 

8. Jekyll Island, Georgia

How could anyone stand this?

Jekyll island shutterstock_238059490

 

9. Pranang Beach, Krabi, Thailand

Clearly, this is a miserable, miserable place.

pranang thailand shutterstock_100370252

 

10. Santa Cruz, California

Okay, this is starting to get awkward. Nope, nope, nope.

santa cruz _ hutterstock_101070745

 

11. Bocas del Toro, Panama

Never in a million years.

panama shutterstock_64512427

 

 

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More from the Orbitz Travel Blog:
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— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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One Of These 21 Movies Will Probably Win Best Picture At The 2015 Oscars

best picture

Welcome to For Your Consideration, HuffPost Entertainment’s breakdown of all things Oscar. Between now and Feb. 22, 2015, entertainment managing editor Christopher Rosen and entertainment editor Matthew Jacobs will pore over awards season and discuss which films will make the most noise at the 87th annual Academy Awards.

The finish line is here. We are two weeks away from the Oscar nominations, which means studios need to put any last-minute campaigning into overdrive. With voting having already opened (see our dream ballots here), it stands to reason that the state of the race has more or less been determined. Still, we hope to see plenty of surprises when the nominations arive on Jan. 15, especially in the Best Picture field, where the number of nominees remains a question mark. (Since a 2011 rule change, the Academy Awards can nominate anywhere between five and 10 films for Best Picture.) There’s arguably still no clear front-runner, but five movies (“Selma,” “Boyhood,” “The Imitation Game,” “Birdman” and “The Theory of Everything”) seem like guarantees, with ample contenders trying to edge their way into the remaining slots. Here are the 21 movies competing in the marathon:


Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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As a Wife, I’m Guilty of These 5 Mistakes (And You Probably Are, Too)

After writing “I’m Guilty of These 5 Parenting Mistakes (And You Probably Are, Too),” I knew that I needed to write a post that pays homage to the major muck-ups that I make as a wife. Maybe I’ll also blog about the mistakes that I make as a rainbow loom maker, Turbo Tax user and fitted sheet folder. Seriously, when it comes to mistakes, I’m experienced on how to make them in all areas.

My husband and I have been together for 12 years. It’s sometimes hard to believe that if our relationship were a person it would be in the seventh grade, donning shiny braces and saying asinine things like “cray cray” and “totes.”

Like all relationships, we’ve had our ups and downs. We’ve had arguments that ended with slamming doors and Michelin tires screeching down the driveway. We’ve declared our love and apologies over the phone once our tempers and transmissions cooled down. We’ve talked out our problems until the sun came up or one of husband’s farts lightened the mood. We’ve prayed together, cried together, laughed together and gotten food poisoning together after eating disgusting undercooked burgers doused in Heinz 57.

Most importantly, we have prevailed. We have persevered. We are raising two unbelievable children (despite our parenting mistakes), and we both have the same vision of someday pointing our rocking chairs towards the west, watching our grandchildren score major grass stains on the lawn and sharing Glucosamine and Chondroitin supplements.

However, as a wife, I make mistakes. And I make them often. I don’t need other wives telling me what mistakes I make, because I’m aware of them. You don’t need me telling you what mistakes you make, either, but you probably make these.

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I sometimes forget that my husband is my husband. He’s been around for so long that it seems like he’s just some dude leaving crumbs of Wavy Lays on the couch and dirty boxers on the floor right next to the hamper. I forget that he’s a hard worker, a wonderful provider and a loving father. I forget that sometimes my sarcasm and jokes hit below the belt. I forget that my job as his wife is to encourage him, compliment him, value him and support him. I often forget that he deserves my utmost respect.

2. Let’s Get It On

I’m tired. I’m tired a lot. By 9 p.m., the only things on my mind are folding the laundry, putting the kids’ snacks in their backpacks, locking the doors, feeding the malnourished fish, setting the clocks, brushing my teeth, lotioning my ashy elbows and getting into the bed to watch a show that does NOT involve animated pirates, sappy music while Danny Tanner resolves an issue, restoring cars or selling rare finds at a Las Vegas pawn shop. I want to relax and heave a collected sigh of relief that the day is done. I have no desire to play birds and bees. But, by God, men need it. They might just implode if they don’t get it. My husband is just as in need as the hungry Beta Fish. I often forget that I’m the one that must meet the need, whether or not I’m in the need-meeting mood.

3. Nothing Compares 2 U

Since the day my first child was born in 2006, she has been my reason for living. When her brother came along in 2010, he ranked right next to her on my priorities list. My children’s happiness and well-being far trumps anything in my life. Sometimes their needs trump my husband’s happiness and well-being. Date night shouldn’t solely be about my SAHM batteries recharging and how many margaritas I can consume before it’s time to go home. It should be about refreshing our relationship. I often forget that my husband needs my attention, my encouragement and my admiration as much as, if not more than, my children.

4. Control

I may make a ton of mistakes, but I know how to properly load a dishwasher. I also know how to hang a picture where it will be the most aesthetically pleasing in our home. I can discipline a kid and cook a meatloaf and I can pick out window treatments. I don’t need help in any of these areas, but my husband sometimes thinks that he should deposit two pennies into those accounts. Before I even hear his suggestion on how to cram more dishes into the dishwasher or where to hang the portrait or how to spice up dinner, I shoot him down (see no. 1, R-E-S-P-E-C-T). Sometimes I make him think that his idea is the worst idea since Miley Cyrus squatted on a wrecking ball. I often forget that my husband has pretty good ideas and although I’ll never admit it to him, that picture would look better over the mantle.

5. Pretty Woman

I once sent my husband the most brutally honest text message: “Let me know what time you’ll be home so I can get out of my pajamas and appear to have been productive today.” Some days the extent of my beauty regimen is brushing my teeth and popping the zit on my chin. If it’s a particularly cold day, I refuse to wear anything that didn’t come from the Gap Athletic Wear Collection. (FYI — you don’t have to actually be athletic to wear athletic wear). But, I know my husband appreciates it when I look nice. He never fails to tell me that I look beautiful when I’ve cleaned up and accessorized with scarves and dangly earrings. Some women like to believe that “inner beauty” is all a man needs. Newsflash — it’s not. Inner beauty is a wonderful, pure, lovely, noble thing. But a man also appreciates a nice-looking woman. I’m not saying that all women should morph into June Cleaver and mop Kool-Aid from the floor while wearing stilettos, but I often forget that removing eye boogers, washing the Crisco from my hair and trading the yoga pants for regular clothes once in a while is a step in the right direction.

Some days I feel as if I’ve really mucked up the whole wife-y thing. I rudely rolled my eyes at my husband, I didn’t pat him on the back when he really needed it, I put my own needs and my children’s needs before his. And the guilt sets in because I’ve got a really good man — he’s faithful, he’s hard-working, he’s kind, he’s easy-going. Watching him interact with our children still melts my heart and makes me smile.

I often forget to do the right thing in our marriage, but I’ll never forget how much I love my husband. That love is what fuels my desire to be better. That love is what makes me better today than yesterday. That love is the same love that will be in my heart when we rock on our back porch and watch our children and grandchildren. That love will be there when I forget to buy him Miralax or put tennis balls on his walker. I’ll always make mistakes, but that love will always remain.

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