The other ‘special relationship’? Xi heads to Russia for three-day state visit

Russia and China appear to be intent on strengthening their alliance and fostering deeper cooperation in the face of increased political and economic hostility from the U.S.
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‘KUWTK’ Recap: Khloe Admits to Relationship Struggles With Tristan

Love hurts! While on a trip to Khloé Kardashian’s home in Cleveland, Malika Haqq pressed Khloé for answers about her strained relationship with Tristan Thompson a few months before his February 2019 cheating scandal with family friend Jordyn Woods.

Ahead of their Cleveland trip, sister Kim Kardashian warned Malika that trouble might be brewing between Khloé and Tristan. The KKW Beauty mogul relayed the story about Khloé’s psychic reading in Bali saying the psychic healer told Khloé she “has, like, a lot of hurt in her heart because her guy has really hurt her, and she said that she’s been going back and forth and can’t make a decision in the relationship.” Kim agreed with the psychic’s assessment saying, “I so feel that.”

 

After arriving in Cleveland, Malika observed firsthand that Tristan’s grueling basketball schedule meant Khloé spent a majority of her time alone, with their baby, True Thompson. In a testimonial, Malika confessed, “I think it happens in a lot of relationships. … People just don’t have the same schedules and they’re not able to do things.” She then added that with Tristan and Khloé, “his career comes first.”

Malika watched on as Khloé methodically folded the sheets on her and Tristan’s bed because, according to Khloé, Tristan prefers when Khloé personally makes the bed over the hired help. The ever-doting best friend, Malika warned Khloé, “It’s important that you take care of yourself the way you take care of others.”

 

While at dinner Malika asked a burning question: “You’re happy, right?” Khloé responded that she was happy, but “it’s really hard to regain trust.” Referring to Tristan’s public cheating scandal that occurred when she was days away from delivering their child, Khloé was adamant that her “energy” surrounding baby True was all that mattered to her. She continued, “If that starts to be affected by me wondering, ‘What’s Tristan doing? Where is he?’ I will be out in two seconds.”

She then revealed that Tristan will often “count” the time that had passed since he cheated on her, saying, “It’s been seven months.” Khloé, who had no idea Tristan was about to engage in another very public cheating scandal just a few months after taping, added, “I love him, but still, I’m not gonna act like nothing’s wrong.”

We also followed Kim as she organized and executed an actual camping — no, not glamping, camping — trip at the behest of her eldest child, North West. “She saw The Parent Trap and now she wants to go camping,” Kim revealed to sister Kourtney Kardashian. Kim, reluctant to rough it, eventually relented and bought camping supplies, dragging along friends Larsa Pippen, Tracey Romulus and their daughters. Despite cold weather and a fruitless fishing trip, the group survived.

While Khloé was emoting and Kim was camping, Scott Disick revealed the launch of his latest business venture — a clothing line called Talentless. Based on accusations that reality stars have no talent, the cheeky name proved to be a secret passion project for Scott, who admitted he was hesitant to use his family connections when launching the product. After doing a photo shoot for the fashion line of shirts and sweats, he confessed, “I just wanted to do this on my own and start something that had no involvement of anyone else.”

The episode concluded with a teaser for next week, which included a close-up shot of Jordyn as she attended the annual Kardashian Christmas party. Let the nail-biting commence!

Keeping Up With the Kardashians airs on E! Sundays at 9 p.m. ET.

Us Weekly

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‘Jaded’ de Blasio has bungled NYC’s relationship with Amazon

Last week in an exclusive story in The Post, it was reported that Amazon is looking very closely at a couple of extremely large spaces in Midtown. While most mayors would be thrilled and bending over backward, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio — Bungling Bill — feels “jaded” that Amazon is now choosing The…
Business | New York Post

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Tanisha Foster, Mom Of Nipsey Hussle’s Daughter, Discusses Their Relationship, Being “Good” With Lauren London

Celebs at Lakers game.

Source: WENN.com / WENN

There has been a lot said and implied about Tanisha Foster ever since rapper Nipsey Hussle passed away. She is the mother of his 10-year-old daughter Emani Asghedom, and she’s currently fighting with the rapper’s sister, Samantha, for custody of the child. Emani has been living with Samantha, and according to TMZ, during a recent court appearance, Tanisha broke down in tears because she claimed she hadn’t seen her daughter in months. Nipsey’s family is reportedly trying to organize visitation for mother and daughter.

The family believes Samantha can provide Emani with the most stable living situation and claim Tanisha has a substance abuse issue that they want to help her deal with. The custody case continues in July, when both sides meet for their next court date.

Until then though, Tanisha is speaking out. She took to Instagram Live on Tuesday to clear up some misconceptions. She also wanted to thank people for their support, saying, “Thank you, I’m going to stay strong. I have to stay strong because I have babies.”

As far as what people think of her lifestyle based on what they see on social media, including when it comes to her social media names, which reference Nipsey, she’s going to keep doing what she wants to do.

“I’m going to live my life,” she said. “It was 16 years. He was 16 years of my life. Do anybody know that?”

“I don’t prove nothing to nobody,” she added. “I don’t have to.”

With that in mind, she said she doesn’t worry about or deal with the “disrespectful sh-t” people say online because when Nipsey was alive, he showed her nothing but love.

“My child’s father didn’t disrespect me,” she said. “I talked to him 30 minutes before he died. How about those apples? Do y’all know that?”

“I don’t feed into negativity, baby. I don’t pay ’em no mind,” she added. “I don’t give a damn about these people. They give a damn about me, though. So all the haters can eat my sh-t, but the people who love me, I love y’all.”

She also wanted to make it clear that despite what she may have said or done in the past in reference to Lauren London (there were some past regrettable tweets and “likes” of negative comments about the actress), they have no issues.

“I don’t have a problem with Lauren. She don’t have a problem with me,” she said. “We good.”

Last time Tanisha spoke out about Nipsey on social media, she found herself heavily criticized by people who felt that since she was his ex, her public condolences were inappropriate and disrespectful to Lauren. Still, she’s always stood by the positive relationship they had and the sentiments she shared.

Source: MadameNoire.com

 

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Positive aspects of masculinity helps improve boys’ attitudes toward relationship violence

A program aimed at reducing violence against women and girls by focusing on positive expressions of masculinity changed the attitudes of middle school boys who may have been prone to harassment and dating violence as they got older, according to a study that was done in partnership with prevention practitioners in New England.
K-12 Education News — ScienceDaily

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Cooper pans Trump’s relationship with Fox News

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A Mother And Her Pregnant Daughter Talk About Their Explosive Relationship | Book of John Gray | OWN

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SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

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How Adam Gase is trying to save Le’Veon Bell relationship

Now that the partnership between Adam Gase and Mike Maccagnan has ended, the focus of the Jets world shifts to another relationship: Gase and star running back Le’Veon Bell. One area of fallout from Wednesday’s news that the Jets may have not anticipated was the reporting that emerged about coach Gase not being fully on…
Sports | New York Post

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How a new father views his relationship with his partner

A new father’s views on his changing relationship with his wife or partner may depend in part on how much support he feels from her when he is caring for their baby, a new study suggests. Researchers found that a first-time father tended to feel closer to the mother both as a co-parent and as a romantic partner when he believed he had her confidence when he was involved in child care.
Infant and Preschool Learning News — ScienceDaily

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Your HelloGiggles horoscope, May 12th to May 18th: Sudden relationship changes ahead

Your HelloGiggles horoscope, May 12th to May 18th: Sudden relationship changes ahead


Your HelloGiggles horoscope, May 12th to May 18th: Sudden relationship changes ahead

We start the week on a passionate note—this is a time of deep grounding and empowerment for everyone. As I told you before, this Taurus season is all about self-care, self-love, empowerment of the self, and questioning our values and our worth. And this week, we’re really getting to the bottom of it with Venus entering Taurus with a bright conjunction to Uranus.

First of all, you can expect sudden changes in relationships. But the changes will be more symbolic. On a collective level, we’re all being pushed to relate in new ways, to others and to ourselves, to be more authentic, freer of expectations, and choosing growth over comfort. So that’s what the sudden changes are all about.

We end the week with a Scorpio full moon that is going to rock the boat in all relationships. This is the end of a cycle initiated in March—we can now breathe, so much wiser and healthier.

Let’s take a look at the weekly horoscope for each sun sign. Don’t forget to check your rising sign if you know it.

ARIES

Expect your relationships, and relating patterns in general, to be completely wiped out this week. You’re making space for a much freer, more authentic, and carefree version of yourself. All hell shall break loose!

TAURUS

Huge spiritual shifts are happening for you this week, Taurus. You have a golden opportunity to experience soul elevation, and you’re growing into your higher self. This week is all about opening your heart to compassion, kindness, and forgiveness, and this is going to be playing out mostly in your personal and business relationships. Take note of your dreams.

GEMINI

This week is focused on healing for you, Gemini. You’re plunging into the depths of your subconscious and being called to do a lot of self-exploration, an activity that will reach a peak for the full moon on Saturday. Remember to be kind to yourself, as change comes through acceptance.

CANCER

You have been working hard at your job, Cancer, and that is paying off this week not only in terms of career advancement and achievements, but also in the sense that you’re really getting to know and feel what makes you passionate. You’re being pushed to follow your heart, professionally and else. It’s a week focused on creativity and passion.

LEO

Work, work, work—your head has been focused on achievements, recognition, and praise, but this week, you’re going to get rebalanced on the opposite pole: validating yourself, and focusing on what’s going on emotionally inside you; finding out what you truly need as opposed to what looks good or what will give you popularity. Nest up and retreat within.

VIRGO

Your world has been shaken upside down for the last months, Virgo, and this week is kind of the climax of this energy. You signed up for an intellectual revolution—you must have noticed by now that truth and truths are different; a lot of your beliefs might have been shifted, and if that’s not the case yet, well, buckle up, because this week is about to bring just that.

LIBRA

Do I even need to say it? Yes, Libra, it’s about relationships this week, big surprise I know, but here is the tweak: This week for you is about confronting your feelings of worthiness and how they shape your relationships. You’re confronting whether or not you’re aware of your value(s) and whether or not your (potential) partner is aligned with them. A lot of it has to do with security—comfort vs. growth, known vs. unknown—and you can expect swift revelations and changes in relationships. Note, though, that it’s also a week that could shake up your financial situation as much as your relationship situation and, potentially, both could be linked.

SCORPIO

You can expect new beginnings and a focus on relationships this week, Scorpio. You’re at a time of self-improvement, and the work you’ve been doing on yourself is allowing you to enjoy a different energy in your relationships. Be careful not to be too hard on yourself—the goal isn’t perfection, and if you remain too much in your head, you can sabotage your efforts. Remind yourself to be connected to your body.

SAGITTARIUS

You’re swimming in deep waters this week, Sagittarius. You’re offered the chance to plunge into the depths of your psyche, and it could feel blissful or utterly confusing depending on how comfortable you are with this process. Love is still very much on the program for you this week, but you might find yourself choosing fun over soul work—be aware of your choices this week.

CAPRICORN

This week is social for you, Capricorn. It’s all about friendships and exploring hobbies and activities. It’s a nice break in your serious/all-work attitude, and you could find yourself exploring new horizons and being more spontaneous than usual. Enjoy it!

AQUARIUS

Serious breakthroughs in your career this week, Aquarius. You have a lot of mental energy to dedicate, and it’s paying off. Good idea to do things like journaling and running; you might feel a bit of mental pressure this week and could use some mental or physical exercise to blow off steam.

PISCES

This week might feel like a divine intervention for you, Pisces. A lot of the energy is about valuing yourself and loving yourself, and this persistent focus you have had on worthiness and value is paying off: your beliefs are changing, your perception is changing, and this is allowing more abundance and love into your life. A fun program for you that is the fruit of the last months’ efforts.

For more astrology from me, check out my website.

The post Your HelloGiggles horoscope, May 12th to May 18th: Sudden relationship changes ahead appeared first on HelloGiggles.

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How disability complicated my relationship with yoga and changed how I talk to my patients

How disability complicated my relationship with yoga and changed how I talk to my patients


How disability complicated my relationship with yoga and changed how I talk to my patients

When I graduated from physical therapy the second time, my therapist was much more pragmatic than the first one had been. The first time I went to physical therapy was immediately after leaving the hospital. I had cancer and needed several surgeries to remove the tumor and the surrounding malignant tissues. Then I had a stroke after one of these procedures, literally adding insult to injury.

My left arm was paralyzed, my left leg was tired and weak, and my face drooped on one side. Despite all of that, I was still young and relatively healthy. My potential for recovery was incredibly high, so my therapists were convinced that I’d do very well. They celebrated my tiniest improvements and insisted that I focus on a distant and idealistic future: me after cancer, after stroke, with two good hands, two strong legs, and a straight, beaming smile.

I went back to physical therapy two years after my illness. I had proved my first set of therapists right to some extent. By then, my mouth had straightened and my leg had almost totally recovered. My arm and shoulder were another story. They could move again, but slowly and awkwardly. The muscle tone had increased over time leading to stiffness and a constant aching pain. Most significantly, my left hand had lost most of its sensory function and would never recover it. I mentioned the pain and stiffness to my neurologist, and she sent me straight back to physical therapy. Things improved a little bit, but as weeks passed, it became clear that I’d need more than just PT to manage it.

“You know,” my therapist said, scowling as she entered notes into her computer, “you might want to think about taking a yoga class. That arm isn’t going to get much better.”

I bristled.

Woman rolling up yoga mat
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I’m a physician, so I’ve done my share of doling out advice about healthy habits and lifestyle changes.

I’ve talked about low fat diets and leafy greens, taught techniques to improve sleep, decrease stress, and increase physical activity. The one thing that I hadn’t suggested to my own patients was to try yoga. I gave my PT the same skeptical look and half-hearted nod that my patients had given me time and time again when I’d recommend a lifestyle change—I had absolutely no intention of going to yoga class.

Occasionally a health fad sweeps the nation, and suddenly every other person you know is claiming that it cures everything from obesity to ADHD. When my friends, family, and well-meaning strangers found out that I had cancer, they suggested that I try a number of these remedies to treat it. I was told to eliminate sugar and red dye, to go vegan or paleo, to eat more blueberries to get rid of inflammation. Colonics would rid me of toxins, they said. Essential oils would help with the sadness, they claimed.

After my surgeries and after the stroke, when I walked with a slight limp and my arm was still at its weakest, I started getting suggestions about exercise. Cross fit and Soul Cycle and even pole aerobics. But yoga was the one recommended to me most often. I heard miraculous stories about how it made people fit and strong, how it cured depression and back pain and asthma. If yoga could do all of those things, my would-be advisers reasoned, then surely it would work for me.


I knew that people were trying to help, but their suggestions quickly started weighing on me. There seemed to be an undercurrent beneath the advice: I was a broken thing that needed to be fixed. Or worse, that I could fix myself but I simply wasn’t trying hard enough.

The more time passed, the stronger that feeling became—especially once I started to look healthy and “normal” again. If I mentioned my mobility issues or asked for some kind of accommodation, I was often met with looks of shock, confusion, or disbelief. Some people wanted more details and asked probing questions about my hand and my illness. Others shared their own stories about disability—I am forever grateful for those people. However, some others eyed me critically. They made unsolicited suggestions for improving my mobility, always getting to yoga eventually. They didn’t seem to listen when I told them what would and wouldn’t work for me.

Woman receiving physical therapy in the hospital
Getty Images

I completed my second round of PT and incorporated the therapist’s recommended exercises into my daily routine. My shoulder loosened a bit but the pain persisted. I went to a pain clinic where I got injections in my neck, shoulder, back, and upper arm every three months. I tried patches, pills, creams, and massagers—nothing seemed to work. My sleep got worse. So did my anxiety. I was in my neurologist’s office waiting for another follow up appointment when I noticed a brochure on the table. A new yoga studio had opened nearby and offered special classes for PT graduates in addition to their regular schedule. The people in the pictures looked so happy, so healthy.

It took two months, three attempts to sign up, and continuous support from a chronically ill yogi friend before I actually stepped into the studio for my first class.

I shuffled to the back of the room, hoping to hide behind more seasoned yogis. Unfortunately, only two other women showed up and they looked just as bewildered as I did. The teacher was placid, personable, and impossibly fit as I imagine many yoga teachers are. She didn’t ask us why we were there or ask us to share about our respective medical traumas. She smiled and started class. She showed us two or three modifications for each pose, encouraged us to take breaks as we needed them, and offered assistance when we struggled. And oh did I struggle. I spent half of the class trying not to fall and the other half of the class cursing myself in my head. This was yoga and it was kicking my butt. I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t to end up shaking and drenched in sweat twenty minutes in. The teacher smiled. I’m convinced that she could read minds. “Don’t think about what you look like,” she said. “Don’t think about what you can’t do. Just focus on what brought you here and do what’s best for your body.” My shoulder ached. I moved on to the next pose.

Group of women in a yoga class
Getty Images

Yoga is not a miracle drug. It did not cure my cancer or heal my brain. My shoulder still hurts. I still have anxiety. I cannot be fixed, but I am not broken.

What yoga has done for me is help my body and I coexist with each other.

My shoulder still hurts, but maybe a little less now. My arm is still stiff, but it is stronger. There are still moments when I flash back to the intensive care unit where I was stroked out, strapped down, and terrified. That old panicky feeling creeps up and threatens to choke me. I close my eyes and focus on my breath.

I still don’t suggest that my own patients try yoga when they’re in recovery—at least not right away. If nothing else, illness has been an excellent teacher. I’ve learned so much about what it means to have a disability, how to be a better physician, and how to work more empathetically with patients. Every therapy isn’t for everybody, so it’s important to listen to disabled people, learn each person’s wishes and goals, and figure out what works best for them. Knowing that I could be the first or the fiftieth person to suggest any kind of therapy (including yoga) means that I had better know whether it’s even feasible for them before I start talking. If I think that yoga may help a patient and they agree, then that’s when we can have a meaningful discussion about how to practice safely.

I may never be able to do a handstand or even much of a pushup. That’s okay. I am stronger in ways that I never thought I could be. I will probably always be annoyed every time a new health fad becomes popular, 150knowing that at some point someone will suggest that I give it try. I’ll probably give them that same skeptical look and half-hearted nod and then grudgingly—but invariably—return to my yoga mat.

The post How disability complicated my relationship with yoga and changed how I talk to my patients appeared first on HelloGiggles.

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Someone Great reminded me to nurture my female friendships as much as my relationship

Someone Great reminded me to nurture my female friendships as much as my relationship


<em>Someone Great</em> reminded me to nurture my female friendships as much as my relationship

As I watched the first few scenes of Netflix’s romantic comedy Someone Great, I felt the thrill of recognition. In the film written and directed by Jennifer Kaytin Robinson, central character Jenny (Gina Rodriguez) and I share a lot in common: We’re both journalists living in New York City who are in long-term relationships that began in college. Montage sequences of Jenny and her beau look a lot like my own love story—kisses on the subway platform, late-night bodega trips, walks through Washington Square Park.

Then our stories diverge.

When Jenny gets her dream job in San Francisco, her partner of nine years dumps her and she recruits her best friends to go on an epic bender. The fundamental romance of this romantic comedy reveals itself to be the love shared between Jenny and her best friends, Erin (DeWanda Wise) and Blair (Brittany Snow).

I watched the movie alone on my couch with a bowl of popcorn nestled in my lap. I occasionally paused to check on my boyfriend who was battling the flu in the next room. We’ve been together for nine years. I am incredibly grateful to be in a relationship wherein bouts of illness are fought as a pair—there’s always a live-in nurse to make you chicken soup and deliver tea—but I felt envious of those female friendships on screen.

Jenny, Erin, and Blair are actual #friendshipgoals. They’re the kind of pals who strike the perfect balance of calling each other out on their shit and knowing how to cheer each other up with just a look. “All I feel for you right now is love coursing through my veins and I want to hug it out,” Erin says to Blair after an argument. They have dance parties and fashion shows in their apartments. They encourage one another to drink tequila and tap into their wild sides.

I got to thinking: If my life as I know it were to change tomorrow, who would be the magical wing women to swoop in and help me?

Who would comfort me when I had the flu? Or even worse, who would mend my broken heart? The last decade of my life has been more date nights than girls’ nights out, so I didn’t have an answer.

The thing about college relationships is that they can be all-consuming. A freshman year romance is a magic solution to the herculean task of making new friends. It’s a salve for homesickness. A first love is filled with a lot of, well, exciting firsts. While my boyfriend and I were building our very own supercut amidst the backdrop of New York City, other friendships in my life became subsidiary. Graduation came and went, and somewhere along the way, time spent with other friends became relegated to birthday celebrations and special occasions.

Reader, I need you to know that I have friends. Some pretty great ones, actually. But my high school comrades are scattered around the globe, my college roomie is in London, and my core friend group in New York is shared with my boyfriend. All of this is to say that dates with girlfriends are few and far between, and many of my friendships are in need of some stoking.

Someone Great inspired me to get on it. I challenged myself to be more intentional with my social calendar, to make plans, and to keep them. (My idea of fun is a little more PG than that of the Someone Great trio: There was no molly popped or joints rolled as part of my friendly experiment.)

I invited two high school friends to meet me in the city, and we spent a rainy afternoon at an interactive museum posing for silly pictures and wading through a ball pit. The rest of the day included some lingerie shopping and lots of laughs.

I also went to a book launch with a dear friend, and we ended the night talking about novels over negronis and french fries.

I planned an early-morning Skype check-in with my friend who lives in Germany, something we now plan to do on a regular basis.

A post-work happy hour with a group of ladies turned into a Lower East Side romp, an 11 o’clock three-course dinner, and, well, a mid-week hangover. It was worth it.

These few friend dates were some of the most meaningful social encounters I’ve had in awhile.

By intentionally focusing on these relationships, I’ve realized the crucial role that female friendships have in my life.

Yes, pitchers of margaritas were consumed, but there were also discussions about a friend’s recent first date, advice to another about how to ask her partner to move in, and encouragement to negotiate a salary raise. Our conversations covered money and self-care and sex and mental health. Beauty products were recommended, recipes were swapped, secrets were spilled. These are topics that don’t come up as pillow talk with my partner.

Someone Great may not have a typical happy ending for a romantic comedy. But it does have an indisputable happily ever after: Jenny, Erin, and Blair’s love will endure. And I have a feeling that my book club, yoga class, and hiking plans with friends—and the girls’ trip now on my calendar—will help my friendships endure, too.

The post <em>Someone Great</em> reminded me to nurture my female friendships as much as my relationship appeared first on HelloGiggles.

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Brooke Burke: I Have a ‘Beautiful Relationship’ With Ex David Charvet

The best of friends. Brooke Burke and David Charvet split in April 2018, after nearly seven years of marriage, but the pair are still super close.

“I’ll probably spend part of Mother’s Day with my ex David because he’s the father of my youngest two,” Burke, 47, told Us Weekly exclusively at the Nautica Malibu Triathlon and Children’s Hospital Los Angeles benefit dinner in Malibu, California, on Monday, April 29. “We have a beautiful relationship right now, which is really valuable.”

The Melissa & Joey alum gushed that she is “so lucky” to have “such a deep relationship and long history of love” with the Baywatch alum, 46. She added, “We’re still a family.”

As for if the dancer and the model plan to get back together? “No,” Burke explained. “But we have a very beautiful, deep relationship that’s valuable to me, so I hold him in a very high regard. The fact that I’m going to spend Mother’s Day this year [with him] … well, I hope says a lot.”

Us confirmed in early April 2018 that Burke filed for divorce from Charvet. The pair — who share daughters Heaven, 12, and Shaya, 11 — had been dating since 2006 and tied the knot in St. Bart’s in August 2011. The former Dancing With the Stars cohost has two other children — Sierra, 17, and Neriah, 19 — with ex-husband Garth Fisher, whom she was married to from 2001 to 2005.

One month later, the former Playboy model told Us that she was “trying to stay positive” in the wake of the split. “It’s all new,” she explained. “I’d be lying if I said it’s all fabulous and positive. It’s a big change. There are hard days, you know, and really good days. [I’m] just walking through it and spending a lot of time by myself.”

That August, the France native revealed that he is not ready to get back out into the dating world. He told Us, “I’m kind of focusing a lot on work and my children and making sure that everybody’s good.”

With reporting by Natalie Posner

Us Weekly

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Don’t Rush By These Glaring Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship

Don't worry, we will solve the problem together!

Source: skynesher / Getty

The early days of new love can send you into a heady tailspin as you get caught up in the rush of chemistry and hormones. Because of the intensity of early dating, we may brush by important signs that a relationship is not right for you.

Katie Hood, the CEO of the One Love Foundation, told Business Insider that there are warning signs of an unhealthy relationship that you can catch catch early if you’re paying attention. Here are a few:

Too Intense Too Quickly

Don’t get too flattered when someone says, “I think you are the one,” after the first date.

“It’s not how a relationship starts that matters,” Hood said. “It’s how it evolves.” Just because your new boo is calling you crazy and bombarding you with attention in the early days does not mean they are perfect match for you. In fact, some people “love bomb” you so hard so that you ignore their character flaws. Take your time and find out who this person is. A person isn’t what they say, they are how they consistently behave.

They Diss Your Support System

Unhealthy partners love to isolate their victims–and the best way to do that is to cut you off from the people you love the most.

“Healthy love includes independence,” Hood said. They will often accuse your friends/family of things or diminish them.

 “Why do you want to hang out with them? They’re such losers,” Hood gave as an example.

Jealousy

A little bit of jealousy that doesn’t affect your relationship is fine, but if your partner is crazy possessive or doesn’t trust you, keep an eye out.

“Jealousy is a part of any human relationship, but extreme jealousy is different,” Hood said. “There’s a threatening, desperate, and angry edge to it.”

Use Words As Weapons

Emotional abuse is insidious because there aren’t signs of it that people can see. But words can hurt just as much as physical harm.

“In unhealthy love, words are used as weapons,” Hood said. “Conversations that used to be fun and lighthearted turn mean and embarrassing.”

MadameNoire

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Who is at the Forefront Of Your Relationship? (For the Daters: Who Do You Expect To Be at the Forefront?)

stock photo of couple making a heart shape with their hands

Here’s an odd question for today: who is at the forefront of your relationship? Is there an alpha and beta in your relationship in terms of career, where one partner is providing a lot of support for the other by taking on more responsibility at home, or in terms of personality or just generally being the driving force to Get Stuff Done? For the daters, who do you expect to be at the forefront of your relationship?

I recently heard a talk by an older woman who’s had an interesting career in different kinds of spotlights — first she was a law firm partner, and then she became a television personality, and I was intrigued when she shared some recollections about her marriages. She talked about how she was always at the forefront of her first marriage — her husband was her support system, and important, but she was the “star” of the union, both as the breadwinner and because of her personality. They eventually divorced, and eventually she fell in love and married someone who was, as she put it, a “much bigger deal” than she was (think CEO/senator type of job). She then had to adjust to having her partner at the forefront.

It was a really interesting talk, and I loved the way she put it — “being at the forefront” — so I thought it would be an interesting discussion here. (I’ve actually seen this topic a ton of other places since hearing her talk — in the RBG documentary, they talk about how Marty Ginsburg (a rockstar tax lawyer in his own right) was OK with letting Ruth be the star and following her to D.C. when she was appointed to the D.C. Court of Appeals. On the flip side, I just heard a great podcast with the founder of Rent the Runway, in which she shared that her boyfriend broke up with her the day after RtR hit the front page of the New York Times because he had decided he “didn’t want to be with his equal.” (I’m sure we’ve all got various GIFs and memes coming to mind upon hearing that decision and reason.) 

We’ve talked about when women out earn their partners, as well as dating issues like how to date an overachieving, busy person and how to date someone with less money or more time — but I don’t think we’ve ever truly talked about this issue, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

So, what does it mean to acknowledge that one person is at the forefront of the marriage — and is that the case in your relationship? For those of you who do see one partner clearly at the forefront, was that clear from the beginning? If the person at the forefront is YOU, were you looking for a support system when you were dating? (Another way to put it: Is there an alpha and a beta in your relationship?)

 

The post Who is at the Forefront Of Your Relationship? (For the Daters: Who Do You Expect To Be at the Forefront?) appeared first on Corporette.com.

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Kourtney Kardashian’s Epic 40th Birthday, Jordyn Woods On Relationship With Kylie | PeopleTV

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

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Kourtney Kardashian’s Epic 40th Birthday, Jordyn Woods On Relationship With Kylie | LIVE | PeopleTV

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE:

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SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

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Game Of Thrones: Nikolaj Coster-Waldau & Gwendoline Christie’s Relationship | PeopleTV

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE:

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

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Mo’Nique Says ‘Karma’ Is At The Root Of Wendy’s Relationship Drama

Wendy Williams‘ life at this point is kind of an open book when you consider all the drama she’s wrapped up in.

In particular, the fact that her husband, Kevin Hunter, has been carrying on an alleged affair for almost half their 22-year-long marriage. And recently came news that his alleged mistress, Sharina Hudson, gave birth to his baby.

Well, since err’body else is chiming in on Wendy’s business (just like she does everybody else’s), may we direct you to someone else who is no stranger to controversy. That would be the one and only Mo’Nique. On a her newest installment of her “Mo’Nique and Sidney’s Open Relationship” podcast, they addressed what Williams is dealing with via an episode titled “Is Karma Real?

Of course you know Mo is is hardcore and doesn’t hold back. The Oscar winning actress spoke about how Williams is always trash talking people on her show, and how that has come home to roost, so to speak.

“It’s all about how messy I can be,” Mo’Nique said. “It’s all about ‘Ohhh, how can I crack on this person. How hard can I make fun of somebody’s downfall,’ or [it] appears to be that way.”

Although some may disagree, Mo’Nique claims that watching Williams on her show has taught her exactly how not to act or treat other people in her life.

“The lesson for me is, let me make sure what I put out there is what I would want to come back,” she continued. “Let me make sure I’m not so high on my a** that I can say or do, rip down, rip apart, tear down, whomever I choose to because it’s part of the business…but now when the universe says, ‘Oh, you know it’s your turn.’ We don’t pay attention to that, we just pay attention to the mess.”

Mo’Nique even suggested that Williams would be having far fewer problems if she just “minded her own business” instead of digging up the dirt on everyone else live on television each week.

On the other hand, some could argue that Mo’Nique’s criticizing of Wendy is essentially opening her up to being labeled a hypocrite, herself.

And your thoughts are?

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Getting Bored In Your Relationship? That Could Be A Good Thing

black couple

Source: Hero Images / Getty Images

In the rush of schedules, house chores, careers, and Netflix, relationships can get really stagnant. And that’s super normal. We often equate boredom in a relationship to something terrible, but in reality, it’s a natural part of partnership growth.

Via Madamenoire:

“Over time, we get more comfortable in a relationship,” Marisa T. Cohen, an associate professor of psychology at St. Francis College and author of “From First Kiss to Forever” told Washington Post.

“We get set in our ways, and with that comes a wonderful sense of security and trust in our partners.”

But the monotony can start to weigh on folks who see themselves as more adventurous. The routine “may be unnerving to some people, especially those who want or expect that exciting and passionate feeling they experienced at the beginning of the relationship,” Cohen explained.

And let’s be honest, the rush of newness can be addicting–especially when we haven’t felt it in a while due to being in a long-term relationship. The accessibility we now have with dating apps and platforms also makes jumping ship easier than ever before.

“With the rise in swipe-based sites and the ‘gamification’ of dating, part of the appeal for people may be the thrill of the chase, or meeting new people on a regular basis,” Cohen describes.

In the rush of schedules, house chores, careers, and Netflix, relationships can get really stagnant.

“You can have a fear of missing out on something ‘better,’ making the wrong decision, or being stuck or trapped in a relationship that isn’t right,” Rebekah Montgomery, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Washington told Washington Post.

But all of these feeling and anxiety are real and expected. But the beauty is, if you’ve reached boredom and optimal comfort with your partner, you probably have really invested and built the core foundation of any connection: love and commitment. You may be lacking a little passion, but that aspect is easier to awaken. Humans are endlessly deep and you have to work to create opportunities to get to know your partner on a deeper level.

“When you transition to relationship mode, you are essentially focusing your time and energy on one partner, creating a deep, intimate space with them,” Cohen said of this relationship space.

“Being with someone who is soft, kind and supportive is pretty stable; it’s not the roller-coaster ride, or anxiety and butterflies of wondering what’s going to happen next. It might, at first, even feel a little boring.”

But you can offset the boredom with distance, travel, pursuing separate hobbies and bringing it back home–all of these moments will help turn up the heat. Don’t be bored. Get creative in loving your mate in different ways.


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Tracy McMillan Of OWN’s New Show ‘Family Or Fiancé’ Shares Relationship Advice

Tracy McMillan

Source: Oprah Winfrey Network / Tracy McMillan

OWN’s latest reality TV show Family Or Fiancé focuses on couples who are headed down the aisle but are having a hard time getting their family’s approval. The future newlyweds are paired in a home with their loved ones and Tracy McMillan, a relationship expert who challenges the couples to find middle ground before their wedding day.

You may know of McMillan via a viral article seven years ago titled “Why You’re Not Married” that solidified her as an expert.

We caught up with Tracy ahead of the premiere and she gave us some insight, tips and advice on relationships.

Tell us about Family Or Fiancé?

Tracy McMillan: These couples are amazing and you may not relate to every couple’s journey, but you’re going to relate to somebody in that family because you’ve been on one side of this before. You’ve either been the person where your family is not really down with BAE or you’ve been the person.

Source: OWN Communications / OWN

What were some of the exercises you did with the couples?

I meet with them every morning and I give them things to do that first of all are going to help. Like let’s say the couples haven’t met the parents, well this is going to be an icebreaker activity or an activity that’s going to show the parents something related to what their concerns are. One of the things that we do quite often on the show is play 20 questions. he family members will write down the questions that they want to know the answers to and then the other person has to answer it. And it’s anything from ‘have you been faithful’ to ‘what would you do if the baby mama came for some child support and that part of that was your money?’

What can the everyday couple do as an exercise?

We’ll have the mom and the new daughter-in-law cook a meal together. When you have to cooperate with somebody, you find out really quickly whether that person is kind of really open hearted toward you or is this just like a lot of power struggle?

Which family member is the most problematic?

TM: Mama is the most committed to a point of view. She’s the least likely to just go, ‘okay, it’s fine.’ She’s not just going to go along with something. She has a strong feeling, she becomes mama bear. You know? So it’s not that she’s a problematic, it’s that she her feelings on the strongest, she got the biggest investment.

You went viral for your piece “Why You’re Not Married,” what was that about?

Marriage is a spiritual path and if your focus is on getting something you want or you’re going to get a big wedding or you’re going to get a white dress and like marriage isn’t really going to change your life, you’re just going to be you at twice as much laundry in that it’s really about giving and receiving love.

Source: OWN Communications / OWN

 What are some common problems that you see in relationships? 

They don’t understand that relationships are challenging. People are like, wait, what? Why should I have these problems? This is a place where you practice loving. It’s not a place where you go to feel good and get what you want. That’s not why that other person is in that relationship to give you what you want and make you feel good. So a lot of times when people, when it stops feeling good after like the first nine months or a year, then like, yeah, I don’t think this is working. In fact, it’s, it’s working to grow you up that cause that’s what it, that’s what a relationship is all about. It’s about growing as a human.

What advice do you give couples coming off the honeymoon phase?

The thing about coming out of the honeymoon phase is first of all, to know when you’re in one and that it’s going to end. So even when you’re in it, you got to know it’s going to end. So when it ends, it’s like coming up and moving. So I brought out the airport and so it’s not like, oh shit, what just happened? It’s more like, I know it’s going to be a very different pace than this first part. It’s not going to be as easy. Relationships bring up every unresolved thing. And that starts to happen right after the honeymoon phase. So whatever you’ve got going on, whatever you brought in from childhood, it’s going to get triggered, it’s going to get triggered and then you’re going to get to deal with that.

Catch Tracy McMillan on Family Or Fiancé on OWN every Saturday night at 10pm EST.


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Rosario Dawson Confirms Relationship With Cory Booker

She said yes. Latina actress Rosario Dawson, known for films like “Seven Pounds” confirmed, that yes, she’s in a relationship with current New Jersey senator turned presidential candidate Cory Booker. Dawson, 39, says that she and the perpetual bachelor are in love.

“He’s a wonderful human being,” Dawson told a TMZ reporter when approached at the airport.

Booker, 49, announced his run for president earlier this year. He mentioned he had a ‘boo’ earlier this year as well in an interview but declined to say who it was.

Booker has been dogged by speculation about his sexuality as the politician is not married, has no children and his rarely been seen with a girlfriend. Television personality Gayle King was one rumored to be seeing him, but nothing ultimately came of it. They have only said they are friends.

Watch Dawson’s interview here:

Do you believe the two are seriously dating?


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Signs You’re In A Healthy, Secure Relationship

Man Kissing On Wife Cheek With Cute Daughter Against Clear Sky

Source: Alessandro Biascioli / EyeEm / Getty

In the midst of crazy modern dating, pockets of secure, confident loving relationships bud despite the madness. Secure relationships are marked by both partners being supportive, cooperate and loving towards one another. A secure relationship also reflects on the outside, in the way the partnered folks interact with their family members, friends and loved ones.

Tyler Turk, CEO and Founder of Crafted With Love told Elite Daily that you can spot a secure relationship by observing how a couple interacts with one another.

“There will be open and honest communication along with a strong level of trust and understanding,” Turk explains.

Here are some other signs your relationship is in a good spot:

Less Anxiousness

In the beginning of a partnership we might feel like we are walking on eggshells trying to present our most perfect selves for them to fall in love with. But once your relationship hits a secure place, the anxiousness is replaced by comfort and understanding.

Alone Time Doesn’t Bring Worry

You know those couples who can’t be a part? That may be a sign they aren’t in the most secure place, relationship wise. Partners who have faith in their union can spend time investing in their careers or outside passions without disrupting the flow of their partnership.

“Within a secure relationship, there will be a healthy amount of time together and time spent for yourself or with friends,” Turk said.

Continuing, “In a secure relationship, you focus on creating a strong bond between you both rather than trying to find flaws,” Turk explained.

You Don’t Drop Your Friends

Within a health connection, you won’t feel obligated to drop everyone else in your life in order to keep your relationship mojo flowing. People in secure relationships can invest equally in their friends and their partner.

“Within a secure relationship, there will be a healthy amount of time together and time spent for yourself or with friends,” Turk said.

 

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

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Iyanla Gets a Defensive Fiancé to Face the Realities of His Relationship | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE :

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Madison Calls Jeffery Out on His Relationship | Tyler Perry’s The Haves and the Have Nots | OWN

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE :

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

SPECIAL DONATION REQUEST UPDATE:

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REI Chief Executive Jerry Stritzke Resigns After Investigation into Undisclosed Relationship

The chief executive and president of Recreational Equipment, Inc., Jerry Stritzke, abruptly resigned Tuesday, REI announced in a statement. The company’s board accepted Stritzke’s resignation “following an investigation into the facts and circumstances surrounding a personal and consensual relationship between the REI CEO and the leader of another organization in the outdoor industry.” The investigation, which found no evidence of financial misconduct, was conducted by an external law firm and overseen by REI’s board of directors.

The company announced that Eric Artz, REI’s executive vice president and chief operating officer, will take on the role of interim CEO effective immediately. In an open letter to REI employees, REI board chair Steve Hooper praised Stritzke’s drive and innovative contributions to the company since taking over as president in October 2013. “Jerry has been an excellent CEO for REI and together, all of you have delivered outstanding results for the co-op during remarkably challenging times in retail,” Hooper wrote, adding, “The co-op is stronger today than when Jerry joined.”

Kent, Wash.-based REI was founded in 1938, an early pioneer in outdoor retail that now has 147 stores in 36 states. The company has been repeatedly ranked by Fortune as a best place to work, and measures such as REI’s Black Friday closures and million-dollar investments in initiatives that demonstrate the relationship between being outdoors and good health are often cited as evidence of its progressive workplace culture at the member-owned cooperative.

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http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

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‘Good Trouble’ Scoop: More Fan Fave Returns, Callie & Gael’s Relationship Status & More

Are you totally obsessed with ‘Good Trouble’? Same. Maia Mitchell and Cierra Ramirez spoke EXCLUSIVELY with HL about what’s coming up in future episodes. Get ready to see familiar faces!

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The Four Financial Love Languages Spoken in Every Relationship

Financial fights are one of the leading causes of divorce. Many couples find it difficult to effectively communicate with each other about money matters because they are actually speaking different financial languages. That’s right! Finance is a language, and unfortunately, most people are not financially bilingual. It is actually more difficult to speak or understand someone else’s financial communication when you don’t really understand your own financial language.

In 2004, Gary Chapman introduced the concept of Love Languages to help people improve their relationships through communication. In my upcoming book, 4 Financial Languages, I explain that financial languages are identified by behaviors and words that represent an individual’s financial value systems. By understanding these behaviors and words, couples can improve communication and establish a collective financial value system.

Put the two concepts together and you have financial love languages.

Learning how to speak in your mate’s financial love language will not only help you avoid money misunderstandings, but it will help you and your mate enjoy the journey toward your financial goals.

The 4 Financial Love Languages

SAVING

Financial security is usually the primary concern of people who speak the dominant language of saving. A Saver primarily saves money because they like to see their money grow like a strong tree.

Some savers also save to protect themselves and their family from financial hardships and emergencies. It is vital for them to be able to help their loved ones financially — now, and in the future.

One of the best ways to communicate with Savers about money matters is to talk about how much money they will save or including them on a purchase to find the best deal.

For example: “You are the best at saving us money. Can you help me find the best deal on a big screen TV so we can stay within our budget?”

GIVING

People who speak giving have a philanthropist’s heart. For most givers, giving is an expression of love. They give their time, money, resources, etc. to help those in need.

Givers should be cautious if they find that they are giving out of an act of insecurity in exchange for an emotional connection or to be liked.

The best way to communicate with givers is to praise them for their giving spirit. In most instances, givers simply like to feel appreciated.

For example, “You have such a wonderful heart of giving. Let’s find some more ways to give where it will be a bigger impact.”

INVESTING

Those who speak investing take relative risks and enjoys watching their money grow as well.

They like to invest in the stock market, retirement, business opportunities, education, or other people.

The best way to communicate with investors is to discuss transactions or opportunities as “investments” and as well as share the potential return on those investments.

For example, “We could make some great contacts for our business if we invest $ 200 in attending this conference.”

 

SPENDING

Spending deals directly with the pleasure principle. Whether the spending is for someone else or themselves, spenders find ultimate pleasure in spending money, usually on stuff.

True spenders can be rebellious when they feel financially deprived or restricted.

The best way to communicate with a spender is not to judge, but rather give parameters of spending.

For example, instead of telling a spender they can’t spend because of the budget, tell them, “We have $ 200 to spend this month.”

Understanding financial love languages will aid in having more effective financial conversations with your mate. If needed, seek help from a financial professional to mediate your cash conversation. Finances, just like love, can be a beautiful experience when both partners respect and appreciate the other’s language.

In Case You Missed It:

 


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B. Smith’s Husband Slammed For Public Relationship With Girlfriend

Fans of famed restaurateur and lifestyle guru B. Smith are lashing out at her husband after he and his blonde girlfriend appeared in a Washington Post profile.

Dan Gasby, 64, opened up about his relationship with the other woman; as he cares for Smith, 69, amid her ongoing battle with Alzheimer’s disease.

Gasby first went public with his romance with Alex Lerner, 53, back in December, in a post on the Facebook page he shares with his wife. He and Smith have been married to for 26 years.

“If This is Us and Modern Family came together, it would be us,” Gasby told The Post about his relationship with Lerner.

According to the report, the two met in the summer of 2017 and remained friends initially, as the divorced mother of three told The Post that she had socialized with Smith previously at charity events and “didn’t want to go out with a married man.”

But while having breakfast with Gasby and Smith one morning, Lerner realized, “This is not a man cheating on his wife.”

“What I admire about him is that he takes care of her,” she explained to The Post.

Lerner has also taken on a caregiver role. She has a room in Gasby and Smith’s East Hampton home, where she stays when she visits from her Manhattan apartment, the report states.

“If I can be compassionate to her … if I can do anything for her, it makes me feel good,” she told The Post, her voice “breaking,” according to the outlet. “If it is giving her something to drink, or making her something to eat — she loves to eat — I feel good.”

Smith was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s six years ago. Gasby previously told PEOPLE that taking care of her was 24/7 job.

“It’s the toughest thing I’ve ever dealt with,” he said. “Anybody who is an Alzheimer’s care giver knows exactly what other caregivers are going through. It’s 24/7. The complexity and the intensity of it is very tough.”

 

 

Caring for Smith “is overwhelming most of the time,” Gasby admitted to PEOPLE. “I’m taking it one day at a time,” he said. “It’s extremely difficult. At times I feel like I am between the Titanic and the iceberg and the water is cold and it makes a difference which one I get on.”

Meanwhile, critics of Gasby and Lerner’s relationship are not here for him embarrassing his wife, and many have noted online that: “You don’t bring your mistress in the house where your WIFE lives,” wrote one commenter, according to The Post. “She’s not dead.”

One twitter user said: “My nigga what happened to “in sickness and in health & how TF can you be Boo’d up with a man with his ill wife in the next room? Bitch!”

Another wrote: “The audacity of this muthaf*cka to bring this woman up in his wife’s house”

On Facebook, Monday, Gasby responded to his critics.

“The idiots and ignorant people calling for my arrest and saying B is or has ever been abused — I only wish someone in your immediate family has Alzheimer’s so you can see feel and experience the pain of millions of people across this country so you can know first hand what it’s like to care 24/7/365 for someone who can no longer care for themselves!” he wrote.

“I love my wife but I can’t let her take away my life!” he added. “5-10 years from now when many of you who will have an almost predestined meeting with Alzheimer’s because of genetics, obesity, and a myriad of inflammatory diseases, you’ll be wishing for someone to share moments with and ease the pain of loneliness and despair.”

He continued. “The clock is ticking. I know I can and have [managed] this, but can you do it too?”

Scroll up and watch the Twitter embed clip above and let us know if you agree with Loni Love’s take on the issue.

Also, here’s what the ladies of “The View” had to said about it…watch below:

 

Do you think Gasby is dead wrong or just trying to make the best of a bad situation? 

PHOTO: AP


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Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas are taking their relationship to the next level

It’s happening!!!

Sophie Turner is one of the most talked-about women in the world, shaping up to be one of Game of Thrones’ most exciting success stories.

Whether she’s showing off her acting chops as GoT’s Sansa Stark or taking down Piers Morgan for his controversial views on mental health, the 22-year-old never fails to make viral news.

A lot of the speculation around her however centres on her relationship with fiancé Joe Jonas, with the couple announcing their engagement in 2017.

Ever since the news, the LA power couple has been ticking off relationship milestones left, right and centre.

From being each other’s wedding dates and becoming Instagram official to bonding with their future brothers and sisters in law, they’ve almost done it all. But it was this week, that the betrothed couple ramped it up a gear.

sophie turner following

Joe and Sophie were spotted house hunting in Los Angeles, adding fuel to the rumours that they were moving in together, something that would make sense, ahead of the couple’s wedding – set for this summer.

The ceremony is rumoured to be taking place in France, and there’s sure to be a lot of A-listers in attendance. We’re expecting at least a few former Disney stars and of course the extended Game of Thrones cast.

Congratulations to Sophie and Joe!

The post Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas are taking their relationship to the next level appeared first on Marie Claire.

Marie Claire

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Style Your Home’s Outdoors with All the Perfect Additions from MacKenzie-Childs! Save on Tables, House Letters & Chairs. Shop Now!

Shea and Michael Discuss How Their Relationship Has Grown | Ready to Love | Oprah Winfrey Network

OWN

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Dani Dyer blasts relationship gossip

OHMYGOSSIP — Dani Dyer has slammed claims she and Jack Fincham are “together for money”.
The 22-year-old beauty recently reconciled with her boyfriend following a brief split earlier this week but she’s dismissed suggestions they have only got back together for commercial reasons and insisted their love is genuine.
Jack shared a black and white photo of himself and Dani on Instagram with the caption: “Yo little guy.”
Dani replied: “Love you baby. oh wait wait maybe I shouldn’t say that because we together for money apparently??
“Yeah tbh I should get paid for picking up your pants…(sic)”
The ‘Love Island’ winner backtracked earlier this week on her announcement she and Jack had decided to “part ways” and blamed the statement on her just being a “normal girl” and finding it hard conducting a romance in the public eye.
She said: “Just want to put all comments to bed. All I can say is I’m still 22 trying to get my s**t together and grow into a woman but doing it in the public eye is sometimes hard and scary but arguments are arguments and I love him.
“I can only please people who want to be pleased and I am having to learn that opinions are just opinions. Hope everyone can understand that i am just a normal girl (sic)”.
She had revealed on her Instagram Stories last week to reveal she and Jack had split.
She wrote: “Jack and I have sadly decided to part ways. It’s been an incredible six months, and we will always have a place in our hearts for each other, but we’ve sadly come to the realisation that it’s not meant to be long term. We both plan to stay friends. I hope you’ll all understand. Love Dani x. (sic)”
However, just days later Dani’s dad, ‘EastEnders’ actor Danny Dyer, claimed they were still together.
He said: “I just want to put something to bed. Dani hasn’t split up with Jack, that’s all b******s, that is.
“They’ve had a row. They’ve had a row, she’s got a bit emotional and I think she has whacked that [message] up and immediately regretted it. You know what women are like.
“I’m just saying she got a little bit irate, screaming and shouting, the ultimate way to punish him maybe. I don’t know what was going on but I can tell you now, they’re sweet.
“They’re sweet as. They’ve had a little argument as we all do, we all have tear ups.
“Don’t declare nothing to the world, I’ve told her this. That was my bit of fatherly advice. It is okay, it is all sweet.”

Source: Female First
Find us also on Twitter @OHMYGOSSIP and @OHMYGOSSIP_USA

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Bristol Palin’s Ex Is ‘Working on Their Relationship’ After ‘Teen Mom OG’ Diss

Backtracking like the best of them! Bristol Palin’s ex-husband, Dakota Meyer, continued to apologize for comments he made about her parenting abilities on Teen Mom OG.

“In regards to the comment on tonight’s @teenmom episode insinuating Bristol is anything other than a great mother is deeply regretted on my part,” Meyer, 30, captioned a photo of himself paintballing with Bristol, 28, and her son Tripp Palin — whom she shares with ex-fiancé Levi Johnston — on Monday, December 17. “Looking back and seeing my behavior does not represent the man I strive to be. Going forward I have made the commitment to Bristol to work towards a better relationship and putting our children’s best interests before my own.”

In a followup post on Tuesday, December 18, the Afghanistan veteran — who split from Bristol in February — posted a photo of himself in a hospital bed and revealed that he suffers from anxiety. (He has previously spoken out about this struggle with PTSD.)

Meyer’s comments come one week after he shared a similar sentiment about Bristol after facing backlash for calling Teen Mom OG “trailer trash” on social media and slamming his ex-wife and her costars for “sitting around [and] bitching about their ex’s.”

While the MTV star didn’t respond to Meyer’s remarks, she posted her own message about the show at the time and expressed her disapproval. “If I cared what people thought of me, I wouldn’t be here today — let’s be real. I’ve stood strong and held it down for my kids since day one. No matter how bad @teenmom tries to portray my ‘life’ … my babies, my family, my close friends — they know the truth,” she captioned a photo with Tripp and her daughters with Meyer, Sailor, 2, and Atlee, 19 months. “I’m a pretty great mom, work my ass off, show up, and hustle everyday to give my kids a pretty great life.”

She added: “@mtv doesn’t want to talk about faith, show work ethic, or juggling three kids alone, they don’t want to show the humble process of starting over after a divorce, building a career, or any real issues. All they want with my little segment each week is some fake fill-in Farrah Abraham/Jerry Springer BS, and it’s simply not true.”

Bristol confirmed in July that she’d be joining Teen Mom OG for season 7.

Us Weekly

BEST DEAL UPDATE:

Bachelor Nation’s Bibiana Julian Sets the Record Straight on Her Relationship With Peter Kraus

Peter Kraus, Bibiana JulianBibiana Julian is setting the record straight on her relationship with Peter Kraus.
The Bachelor star called into The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast on Monday and shut down the…

E! Online (US) – TV News

EMPLOYMENT SEARCH UPDATE:

Kate Bosworth’s Husband Got Her Name Tattooed on Him 3 Weeks into Their Relationship

Late Night with Seth Meyers

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Offset’s Sidepiece Summer Bunni Wrote Some Struggle Bars About Their Relationship

Variety’s 2nd Annual Hitmakers Brunch

Source: FayesVision/WENN.com / WENN

For the foreseeable future, Offset will be looking mighty funny in the light after allegedly stepping out on his lady for women who are in Cardi B’s line of work but nowhere near her level of fame. Summer Bunni, the alleged mistress of Offset, apparently put together a track in honor of her relationship with the Migos rapper and insisting that she didn’t intend to be a homewrecker. 

The Blast reports:

Summer Bunni tells The Blast, she penned “Don’t Matter” over the summer when she was experiencing “mixed feelings” about Offset. “I just wanted to write about how I felt at the time,” Bunni says, adding that she felt her emotions were being neglected during her brief fling with the hip-hop star.

As we’ve reported, Cardi B shocked the entertainment world this week when she announced a split with Offset after claiming the two had been trying to make the relationship work for a “long time.” Shortly after news broke, text messages went viral appearing to show Offset was trying to organize a ménage à trois with Bunni and another woman, Cuban Doll.

Bunni is mortified that she has been labeled as a homewrecker and says she never intended to be a catalyst for rapper’s split. “I really thought he and I were for real,” Bunni admits, saying she sincerely hopes the “Bodak Yellow” star can accept her apology one day.

If you want to hear the track, you’ll have to wait to next Tuesday (Dec. 11) or check out The Blast‘s exclusive teaser on their site.

Photo: WENN

The Latest Hip-Hop News, Music and Media | Hip-Hop Wired

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Trump touts relationship with China after pause on tariff war

Fresh off this weekend’s agreement for a pause in the tariff war between the US and China, President Trump touted the accomplishment and said he believes he can work with China’s Xi Jinping and Russia’s Vladimir Putin to curb the nuclear arms race. “I am certain that, at some time in the future, President Xi…
Business | New York Post

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Jada Pinkett Smith Gets Emotional Talking About Parents’ Abusive Relationship

Jada Pinkett Smith’s Facebook Watch series, Red Table Talk, wouldn’t be as successful as it is if she didn’t spill all the tea about her personal business.

And Monday’s episode was no exception, as the actress dished on dealing with domestic violence.

Jada talks to her mother, Adrienne Banfield-Norris, about her abusive relationship with her father, the late Robsol Pinkett Jr., who died in 2010. Adrienne reveals that Pinkett Jr. physically abused her and was typically drunk during his violent spells.

“See, I was a violent drunk too, that’s why I had to stop drinking,” Jada replies.

“He gave me a black eye once, and I tried to hide it from Mommy, but she saw it,” Adrienne says.

Jada breaks down talking about her late father, who she describes as a “gentle soul.”

“It’s not easy to hear that your parents experienced that together,” she says, as Adrienne remarks that she wishes Robsol was still alive to share his side of the story.

“Now that I’m older, I have so much more compassion in knowing what he had gone through. You know, ’cause I was pretty harsh on him.”

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BEST DEAL UPDATE:

Kandi Burruss Says She’ll Never Have A Relationship With Phaedra Again

Kandi Burruss seems to be open to forging a friendship with Porsha Williams after their explosive fallout on the Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 9 reunion.

But the Xscape singer says a friendship with Phaedra Parks is out of the question.

On Sunday’s Watch What Happens Live a caller asked Kandi, “Now that you and Porsha are in a better place, do you think you and Phaedra will ever come to mends?”“Nah,” Kandi replied instantly. “Absolutely not. Absolutely not. That was too far. That was too much. I’ve never heard anything [from her]. No apologies, no nothing. And I’m cool with that. We don’t ever have to talk again, and I’m good. Let’s move forward.”

Season 9 saw Kandi confronting Phaedra about her role in spreading the vicious rumor that Burruss and her husband wanted to take advantage of Porsha.

Later in the show, Kandi and guest Keke Palmer indulged in a kinky version of “Never Have I Ever” that played out like this…

Question: Never have I ever had sex in a hot tub under the stars.

Who Sipped: Kandi

Question: Never have I ever gotten kinky in the back of a movie theater during a date night.

Who Sipped: Kandi and Keke

Question: Never have I ever woken up next to a stranger after a night of hardcore partying.

Who Sipped: No one, but Andy added, “I mean, what’s a stranger? Everyone’s a friend!”

Question: Never have I ever taken a naughty photo and sent it to someone as a goodnight pic.

Who Sipped: No one. “I don’t send pictures and I don’t do video,” Kandi said. Keke added, “No face!” and the two high-fived.

Question: Never have I ever made a booty call to someone past midnight.

Who Sipped: Kandi, Keke and Andy

Question: Never have I ever showed up to my lover’s house late at night in lingerie and a trench coat.

Who Sipped: No one. “I wish I could do something that bold!” Keke said.

Question: Never have I ever watched porn with my significant other before bedtime.

Who Sipped: Kandi, Keke and Andy

WATCH:

 PHOTO: Watch What Happens Live screenshot


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DWTS’ John Schneider Gets Emotional Over His Strained Relationship with His Children

John Schneider is hoping he can mend his strained relationship with his three children.

In an exclusive clip of Monday’s Dancing with the Stars, the Dukes of Hazzard alum, who played Bo Duke on the comedy series from 1979-85, gets emotional while explaining how country music and DWTS has affected his life.

“What country music means to me is it’s three chords and the truth and it shines a light on things that happen in everyday life that are wonderful, not so wonderful, and that are heart-wrenching,” Schneider, 58, says.

“I’ve been going through a divorce now for four years and it’s awful. The worst part about it is that it’s wedged itself in between my three adult children and myself. Nothing I can do except hope one day one of my kids will call me up or show up. I look in the crowd every Monday thinking maybe tonight, maybe tonight.”

“If it weren’t for this music and now Dancing with the Stars, I don’t think I can survive it,” he admits. “It gives me great joy at a time where I desperately needed it.”

Earlier on in the season, Schneider briefly spoke towards his relationship with his children. whom he is not on speaking terms with.

“I’m hoping that I will do my family proud, I’ll do my love over there proud,” said Schneider told host Erin Andrews, referencing his girlfriend, Alicia, and added, “and maybe my children will speak to me again.”

After 21 years of marriage, Schneider’s estranged wife Elvira “Elly” Schneider filed for divorce in Los Angeles County on Nov. 14, 2014. She cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split, according to court documents.

In September 2016, Schneider — he shares adult children Leah, Chasen, and Karis with Elvira — was ordered to pay his ex $ 18,911 every month, TMZ reported.

But in June, Schneider was sentenced to three days behind bars in the Los Angeles County Jail in June for failure to pay more than $ 150,000 in owed alimony payments to Elvira. The actor was released on the same day as his initial booking because of California’s overcrowded prison system, but his legal woes were not done with that.

Schneider was also ordered to serve an additional 120 hours behind bars for contempt, but that sentence was suspended by the court on the condition that he fulfills a four-part list of conditions, including filing back taxes to help clear title to their property in Apple Valley so that it could be transferred to her, paying his ex half of his owed earnings from Maven Entertainment, and offering certain financial disclosures before the end of the year.

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.


PEOPLE.com

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Creating a Healthy Sales & Marketing Relationship

If you’re an owner of a construction company, you may find the world of marketing a bit intimidating. With more than 85% of all home improvement projecting starting online, it’s more important now than ever to optimize your digital marketing strategy to align with your sales goals. Whether your company handles all marketing campaigns in-house, you utilize a third-party lead generation service, or a mixture of the two, we’ve compiled 3 keys to a healthy Sales & Marketing relationship that will help your team surpass your revenue goals.

The post Creating a Healthy Sales & Marketing Relationship appeared first on Modernize.

Modernize

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4 Ways to Get Followers and Create a Lasting Relationship

The internet is a crowded place—and it’s only becoming more crowded. There are currently around 3.03 billion social media users. The good news is, this means there are far more opportunities to connect with people and gain followers for your brand. But on the flip side, it also means there’s much more competition. If you want to stand out you’re going to have to try harder to get followers, connect with people, and make an authentic positive, lasting impression. Fortunately, there are many ways to do this.

Four Ways to Get Followers and Create Connections: 

 

Create Engaging Videos

YouTube is one of the internet’s biggest, most popular platforms. It currently has just over a billion users—that’s almost one-third of total Internet users—who watch more than 500 million hours of content every single day.

Creating videos for your audience to watch is far more personal than just uploading blog posts. It allows them to see many aspects of your personality that you just can’t express through words and helps to build trust.

Some users have built their entire business by creating unique and engaging YouTube videos. Bri Hall is one beauty, fashion, and lifestyle vlogger who has amassed over 600,000 followers and over 32 million unique views on her videos since she started producing content in 2013.

get followers

Bri Hall (YouTube)

 

On the other side of the scale, there are YouTubers like Roberto Blake who gained popularity discussing entrepreneurship with his audience on how to market themselves. His channel has amassed over 23 million views of his videos.

get followers

Roberto Blake (YouTube)

 

It’s becoming increasingly clear that no matter what kind of content you create, you’re likely to find an audience if your branding is on point.

Uploading Instagram Posts and Videos Regularly

If you’re not already leveraging Instagram to connect with your followers, you probably should be. The platform now has 200 million monthly active users. Engagement rates are 15 times higher than Facebook, and 20 times higher than Twitter.

Using hashtags is also a great way to build your audience and introduce more people to your content.

Uploading an Instagram post or taking a quick 15-second video is much less effort than creating an entire YouTube video or organizing a local meetup. If you’re running low on time, it’s something you can do every single day along with to keep your audience engaged.

Also, if your followers like your Instagram content, it’s likely they’ll like your other content too. This means you can leverage Instagram to promote your YouTube videos, local meetups, or webinars to your followers

Launch a Webinar

A webinar is a middle ground between creating videos and hosting a meetup. It’s effectively the best of both worlds—you can connect with your followers in real-time without being limited by geographical location.

Platforms like ClickMeeting enable you to run custom-branded webinars and engage with followers from all over the world. You can use it for virtually anything—from sharing your day, introducing new products, to hosting questions and answering videos.

The best part about webinars is you’ll get immediate feedback from your audience-direct data that will help you understand how to improve your service or what they would like to see from you.

Host Meetups in Your Local Area

This can be quite a difficult strategy to carry out, and it first requires building a substantial audience. If your followers are based in different areas around the world, it could be a while before you raise enough interest to make a local meetup worthwhile.

However, if you’re willing to travel, or if the majority of your followers are based locally it can be a great way to connect people and will take your relationship with your followers to the next level.

There is no better way to build a lasting connection than actually meeting and talking in person.

For Best Results, Try Everything

There are virtually unlimited ways to make connections with your followers. While this means you have lots of options available, it can also feel quite overwhelming at times.

Picking one or two of these methods and sticking to them will work over time, but to really stand out and reach the widest audience possible, try out multiple methods to find out which will yield the best results.

For the best results, try to combine all of these methods and after a while go with whichever one works best for your business model.

 

The post 4 Ways to Get Followers and Create a Lasting Relationship appeared first on Black Enterprise.

Career | Black Enterprise

EMPLOYMENT UPDATE:

Nile Rodgers talks about his relationship with Abbey Road Studios

Associated Press

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

CHARITY UPDATE:

Click today to request your free ACRX discount prescription card and save up to 80% off of your medicine!

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Your HelloGiggles horoscope, October 14th to October 20th: Consider this relationship renovation week

Your HelloGiggles horoscope, October 14th to October 20th: Consider this relationship renovation week


Your HelloGiggles horoscope, October 14th to October 20th: Consider this relationship renovation week

So how are we all doing? Are we feeling good? Are we refreshed? Do we need more hydration, more rest, more…sanity? Because, let’s get real, the last couple of weeks have been intense and sometimes just straight-up bizarre. As we continue to deal with Venus going retrograde in Scorpio, relationships and intimacy issues will still be at the forefront this week. Factor in the residue from the recent New Moon in Libra, and you can bet that we are all sifting and sorting through relationship issues right now.

But it’s not all bad. We could feel more in touch with our emotions than ever before. We might be inspired to speak our truths after months of keeping our feelings close to our chest. As we wrap up Libra season, keep its vibe close to you this week: stay diplomatic, keep balanced, and don’t be afraid to indulge in a little romance.

Here’s what else the stars have in store for you this week in your weekly horoscope.

LIBRA

Try to enjoy these last few days of your birthday season, Libra. Although Venus Retrograde has you feeling out of sorts, if you can see this phase as an opportunity for much-needed cleansing, then it won’t be all doom and gloom. Don’t forget to treat yourself during this time. Have that piece of cake, enjoy a pedi. Do what you can to feel good.

SCORPIO

Although you’re not feeling super sexy right now, Scorpio, it’s going to be okay. Whether it’s noticeable or not, you’re in the midst of a transformation. You’re purging the old you in order to get to the heart of who you really are—and that is one smart, confident, sexy goddess. Do what you gotta do in order to get through, because it’ll be worth it.

SAGITTARIUS

While you prefer to move forward with life, Sag, you’re being asked to take pause. This is enough to drive you bananas, but taking time to get still will help open you up to receiving new opportunities and adventures. Don’t be afraid to discern and take your time. It’s in taking space where most growth happens.

CAPRICORN

It’s time to clean up your daily habits, Capricorn. Which habits add more to your life, and which ones don’t? Knee-jerk reactions usually stem from fear. Fear of change and the unknown. It’s time to focus on the new. What new things do you want to create? Know that, and form the new habits stemming from that goal. You know all about goals, right?

AQUARIUS

You’re coming to a breaking point, Aquarius. However, instead of seeing it as something stressful, try to see this time as a breakthrough. We often need to reach our edge in order to stimulate more change. And with change comes evolution and progress—and you’re all about progress. You got this.

PISCES

Reviewing your relationships is causing you despair, Pisces. You might realize that you’re holding onto a toxic relationship or that you’ve been self-sabotaging. Instead of retreating into your room with your feelings, which you’re known to do, try to reach out to your loved ones at this time. You need support right now, and they’ll be happy to help.

ARIES

You’re in the midst of a relationship inventory, Aries. You’re deciding which ones to keep and which ones to discard. While there might be people not worth holding onto anymore, don’t forget your part in a relationship. If you feel short-changed, perhaps the other party feels the same? You might want to talk it out before impulsively pulling the plug.

TAURUS

While you might not feel like yourself, Taurus, fret not. It just means that you’re in a period of growth. Transformation usually feels uncomfortable, and while you hate being out of your comfort zone, this is the only way for you to get where you need to go. Remember nothing is more painful than staying still.

GEMINI

You’re starting fresh, Gemini. While it might seem daunting at first, you’ll soon realize that you’re right where you belong. Moving forward with life means you have to take risks. While you like change, you like controlled change. However, you’re learning that not everything is within your control—and that’s a good thing.

CANCER

People are getting on your nerves, Cancer. While it’s easy for you to retreat and hide out in your shell, the stars want you to confront your feelings—especially if that means confronting others. Feeling uncomfortable makes way for growth, and asserting yourself is part of that.

LEO

You might find yourself in some situations that require you to act quickly, Leo. While it might be easy to embellish or fib, doing so will only backfire. You’re being called to speak your truth, no matter how messy that might be. Because, really, being messy means being human, and everyone can relate to that.

VIRGO

You’re feeling tension around you, Virgo. From romantic relationships to family to work, it’ll feel trying to get your point across this week. However, it’s important to speak even louder during this time. You have something worth saying. Say what you need to say.

As we dig deeper with our relationships this week, bbs, we will soon get closer to what we ultimately seek: the truth. So keep persisting no matter how hard it might be; the truth will set us free.

The post Your HelloGiggles horoscope, October 14th to October 20th: Consider this relationship renovation week appeared first on HelloGiggles.

HelloGiggles

BEST DEAL UPDATE:

12 Steps to Protect Your Finances When Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Note: This article doesn’t contain any depiction of physical or sexual violence, but does detail financial and emotional abuse in relationships.

Lisa Orban was married to her abuser for three years. In 1990, she left after he threatened to kill her and their two young children.

She was 20 years old.

Her financial situation in the marriage? “Bad, in a nutshell,” she recalls.

Not unusual for the time, her husband was the main breadwinner, and he managed the finances.

“Whenever there was a chance that I might make enough money or make more money than him or do anything to upset his financial apple cart, so to speak, he would come in and sabotage it.”

She lost multiple jobs because of his meddling.

She moved with him from her hometown in Illinois to Arizona for college, where she’d won a four-year scholarship to study psychology. Before she could start, he contacted the university and told them she’d decided to drop out.

“Imagine my surprise when I go to registration day and find out that my scholarship is gone,” she says.

He even had control of the mailbox. He took her key, though she thought she’d just lost it, and put off replacing it. That had major, unexpected financial ramifications.

“It wasn’t until after we were divorced that I found out that I had not paid off my student loan.” The $ 4,000 loan ultimately cost her $ 38,000 to repay, she says.

The checks Orban thought were going into the mail were not, and the missed payment notices from her loan providers weren’t getting to her.

He kept control of the checking account.

He wouldn’t let her use the car alone.

He knew how much money she earned, and he would accompany her to the bank to deposit her paychecks.

He signed up for credit cards in her name.

By the time Orban left and filed for divorce, she was $ 80,000 in debt and didn’t even know about it.

What is Financial Abuse?

About 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience severe intimate partner violence in their lifetime, according to a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report.

Domestic violence and abuse comes in many forms, whether it’s physical, emotional, psychological or sexual — but it can also be financial. Likely, it’s some mix of these, but not always all of them.

Of those who experience violence, 98% also experience financial abuse.

“Like all abuse, financial abuse takes a lot of forms, but it’s all controlling behavior; power and control,” explains Casey Harden, senior vice president of Strategic Initiatives and Membership at YWCA USA. “Imagine tightening the reigns on the financial condition of the home, so that there’s limited options.”

Abusive partners may leave you out of major decisions and purchase a home that’s well out of your family’s budget, for example. They may run up credit card debt without their partner’s knowledge or input, lie about paying bills or damage valuable property.

In addition to safety concerns, victims of domestic violence often stay in abusive relationship because of a lack of financial resources.

“Many survivors, even after they’ve left, often return because of finances,” says Kim Pentico, director of the Economic Justice Program at the National Network to End Domestic Violence.

Michelle Kuehner, a survivor of domestic violence who is now a financial advisor and author of The Money Diet blog, explains:  

“More often than not, the abuser has made the victim feel as if they are dependent upon the abuser. That without the help of the abuser, the victim could not survive financially in the world, and it is only by the grace of the abuser that the victim has a roof over their head, and food on the table.”

If you’re in a bad situation, we want to do our part in empowering you to move forward.

The Penny Hoarder features a ton of content to help you understand your finances and improve your financial situation. But it can be tough to see how it pertains to you when you feel like you have zero control over your financial life.

Here, I try to put it into context.

I spoke with financial, legal and relationship experts, as well as domestic violence advocates to bring you resources, advice and action steps to prepare you to leave and recover your finances afterward.

6 Steps to Prepare Your Finances Before Leaving

The largest hurdle you face in an abusive relationship is getting back your independence,” Kuehner says.

“Only when you take back the feeling or idea that you are not completely dependent on another can you move towards financial independence. And only then can you successfully remove yourself from that type of relationship.”

Even then, it’s easier said than done.

In addition to the financial hurdles, Harden repeats a fact many of us have heard often: “Lethality for an individual and her loved ones goes up drastically when she makes the decision to leave, when she leaves and the time period following.”

That’s why before you do anything, we recommend this step:

1. Connect With a Victim Advocate

Harden and other experts urge anyone trying to leave an abusive relationship to work with a victim advocate.

These people are trained and experienced, so they know how to help you plan to leave safely and quietly. They can point out potential pitfalls and let you know what major financial hurdles to expect.

How to get in touch with local advocates:

  • Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY: 1-800-787-3224. The national hotline can get you in touch with an organization in your area.
  • Statewide advocacy groups can also connect you with local advocates.
  • Your local YWCA has resources to fight domestic violence, including shelters and services around the country.

We have additional recommendations for your financial health, but can’t tell you what’s best or what’s safe for your situation.

You’re the best at assessing your own safety, so listen to your own instincts, work with an advocate and only consider these steps if you know it’s safe.

2. Save Money

“Be sure you have liquid funds held in an account in your name only,” says Allison Alexander, a financial advisor at Savant Capital Management. She also recommends having credit cards in your name alone.

Allstate’s financial empowerment curriculum includes advice on how to build a solid financial foundation, including places where you could find loans.

If you don’t have access to a loan, see if there are other ways to secure money for yourself that your partner doesn’t have access to.

Here are some creative ways to make extra money:

You can also keep an eye out for influxes of cash your partner doesn’t know about or have access to.

“A lot of survivors … wait until that tax return comes, and that’s a nice little chunk to get started on,” Pentico says.

A bonus at work may be a similar lifeline.

You may be able to work with the human resources department at work to automatically deposit part of your paycheck into a separate bank account.

Catherine Scrivano, a Phoenix–based financial planner, says HR may also be able to help you make an adjustment to your W-4 to help you receive more money with each paycheck that you can save or invest throughout the year.

3. Make Copies of Important Documents

“Make copies of all financial documents you can find, e.g., tax returns, bank statements, investment statements, mortgage/loan information, car titles, paystubs, etc.,” Alexander says.

You can simply snap a picture of these documents with your phone and email it to a friend. Or store them in a cloud drive that you — and only you — can access from anywhere, like Google Drive.

4. Cut Ties and Open a New Bank Account

Before opening your own account, Harden recommends, you’ll need a new mailing address — a P.O. box could work — and an email address your partner doesn’t know about.

Harden also suggests you contact your bank to update your account’s security questions, if your partner already has access to an account in your name.

“Your husband of 10, 15 years probably knows the answers to most of your security questions,” she points out, “especially if he’s been actively working to know them.”

She says you can tell your bank the question you want to use. You don’t have to stick with a default question your partner might know the answer to.

If you can, set up separate accounts your partner doesn’t know about, or at least can’t access.

Also, “remove your personal items from a safe deposit box if it is held jointly,” Alexander says. And “establish your own safe deposit box at another bank and place your financial documents and sentimental items, including jewelry, pictures (or) valuables there.”

5. Find a Financial Advisor

“Find a supportive financial advisor, therapist and friends who will encourage you during the bleak times and celebrate your successes,” Scrivano recommends.

If you have the resources to hire a professional financial advisor — who works for you alone, not you and your partner together — great.

If you can’t afford to work with a professional, utilize your local library or Parks and Recreation department for resources. It may have financial literacy classes, support groups and literature to help you.

Even financially-savvy friends and family can offer advice.

Pentico often tells survivors, “There’s somebody in your life, more than likely, that seems to know what’s going on when it comes to money and finances, whether it’s a co-worker or a family member. Reach out to them.”

6. Find an Attorney

When Kuehner was preparing to divorce her abusive husband, she started by meeting with attorneys.

“I scheduled appointments to meet with all of the best attorneys in town. … All in all, I had meetings with over 85% of the local lawyers in a matter of a couple of weeks…

“If I had an introductory meeting with a particular attorney, my ex-husband wouldn’t be able to use them. It could be considered a conflict of interest. … By narrowing his options, and forcing him to use a less-experienced professional, I gained some ground in the divorce.”

California-based family law expert Amey Telkikar confirmed this tactic, though called it “unsavory” for typical situations.

“An in-person meeting going over the circumstances almost certainly will (include confidential information), resulting in a conflict of interest. A lawyer may still represent the other spouse, but only with the informed written consent of both spouses,” Telkikar explained.

He recommended, “It is in the best interest of a spouse to consult at least one reputable attorney as soon as they suspect or learn of a possible filing for divorce.”

If you don’t have money to hire a lawyer or don’t feel safe conducting this kind of business on your own, a victim advocate can help you discover the resources available to you.

6 Steps to Rebuild Your Finances After Leaving

Unfortunately, Lisa Orban didn’t make a plan to leave her abuser. She did what she pointed out many survivors do:

“Most abused women do not ‘plan’ their escape, they run blindly for their lives when the situation reaches deadly levels, and then pick up the pieces afterward,” Orban explains.

“If you have a golden opportunity to escape, that’s generally what people do,” Orban adds.

“They look for a moment — a credit card left unattended, a check that unexpectedly arrives that you somehow got access to, a Christmas bonus from your work that your spouse doesn’t know about,” Orban says. “These are things you look at, and you go, ‘This is it. This is my chance.’”

When you see that opportunity, she said, “You grab it and you go.”

And then what?

Once you’ve left and you’re safe, your greatest financial hurdle may be not knowing what you’re working with.

Start by figuring that out.

1. Get a Copy of Your Credit Report

Nearly everyone I spoke with recommended one simple, important first step to rebuilding your finances: Get a copy of your credit report.

If you haven’t had control of your finances for years, you may have no idea what state they’re in. To create a rebuilding plan, you have to first know what you’re dealing with.

Do you have credit card debt?

Is an unpaid mortgage in your name?

Are you behind on medical bills?

Your credit report will give you this information.

How to get a free copy of your credit report:

  • Contact the three major credit reporting bureaus to get a free copy from each. They’re legally required to give you a free credit report once every 12 months. This FTC guide explains how to request your report.
  • Get your credit score and “credit report card” from Credit Sesame. This website breaks down exactly what’s on your credit report in layman’s terms, how it affects your score and how you might address it. (Note: We sometimes partner with this company, but Credit Sesame did NOT pay to be mentioned in this post.)

Your credit history can affect a lot of what you do going forward.

Someone will likely pull it when you apply for an apartment, mortgage, vehicle loan or credit cards, before hiring you for a job or opening a new bank account. It’ll affect how much you pay to rent a car or get a new cell phone. It could even affect your car insurance rates.

Once you know what’s in your credit history, you can figure out how to fix it.

2. Find Resolution on Lingering Debts

Harden recommends resolving the debts you find on your credit report as soon as possible.

“Close out the relationship with the credit union and close out all the loans and be done, so the relationship is over, period,” she says.

Closing accounts and making agreements to eliminate debt quickly may not be your greatest financial option, Harden says, but these steps help you cut ties with your abuser, which is still vital.

Your credit report should show you which creditors you’re dealing with. Reach out to them directly and ask what you need to do to eliminate those debts.

Scrivano points out a divorce agreement isn’t enough to get you out of debts you shared with your partner. For example, even if the agreement says credit card debt is your ex’s responsibility, the creditor doesn’t know — or care.

You’ll likely have to take further action to clear your name, she explains. Contact your creditors to determine exactly what needs to be done — and what, in the end, is your responsibility.

“Hold your advocate accountable for that kind of thing,” Scrivano says, referring to your financial or legal advisors. They should know your divorce agreement’s reach and advise you accordingly.

To prevent your ex from building new debt in your name, Telkikar recommends placing a 90-day fraud alert with the major credit bureaus. That way, businesses must verify your identity before issuing credit in your name.

To initiate a fraud alert with one of the bureaus:

You only have to place an initial fraud alert with one bureau. It will contact the others, the FTC explains. You can renew the alert after 90 days as often as you need.

3. Create a New Budget

Next, Harden says, a survivor has to spend time “learning to budget in the new reality, whatever that new reality is.”

With control over your finances, you can set up new savings and investing plans to “become proactive about having full ownership over (your) finances,” not just reactive to your situation.

“There’s financial stability, and then there’s financial vitality,” she explains.

Without the internet to teach her, Orban learned how to manage her budget through trial and error. She always kept a detailed budget.

“I ended up itemizing my life on a day-to-day basis and seeing how much I had coming in and how much, realistically, I had to pay out to function in a normal way,” she says.

Read our tips on how to budget if you’ve never done it before:

4. Rebuild Your Credit

Even if you have damaged credit, you’re not doomed.

“Since my credit had been damaged a bit, I wanted to rebuild that as well,” Kuehner explains.  “Taking out share secured loans … was the easiest way I knew. Within a year and a half my credit had been repaired.”

With a secured loan, she explains, “the bank freezes a specified amount of money in your account until payments are made. Each payment frees up the same amount of principal.”

A secured credit card is a similar way to build or repair your credit,

It’s similar to a debit card — you put down a cash deposit and can use that amount in credit.

Unlike a debit card, secured cards report your payment, balance and other relevant behavior to credit bureaus. So it’s a way to establish a credit history if yours is shot or nonexistent.

Read more tips for rebuilding your credit:

5. If You Need to, Find a New Job and Housing

If your abuser didn’t allow you to keep a job, the effect can ripple beyond your lack of control in the relationship.

“It could interrupt a work history,” Harden points out, “or prevent a work history from ever developing in such a way that an employer would find the candidate to be compelling as a potential employee.”

If you’ve lost your job, read these tips:

“Your local domestic violence program has relationships with community resources, so while they may not provide (job placement) themselves, they certainly have built partnerships and relationships with those who do, so to reach out to them,” Pentico advises.

Community colleges can also be a great resource for job placement.

If you want to go back to school, you can even find scholarships specifically for survivors of domestic violence.

If your relationship has forced you to take a break from the workforce, but you don’t want to return to college, you might be able to ease back in through a return-to-work internship.

If you’re able to live with friends or family to cut expenses and save for a while, go for it.

If you’re ready to find your own place (or not ready, but need to, anyway), here are some tips for getting the best deal out of your next rental.

On a positive note, Kuehner adds, “Replacing household items can be done fairly reasonably as well. Social media sites have ‘online garage sale’ postings, and you can pick up items really cheap. Hitting the Goodwill and other thrift stores are a great idea too. You can find some great treasures at rock-bottom prices.”

6. Prepare for Financial Success

The final step is refocusing on financial vitality, Harden says.

What does a thriving, successful life look like for you? Is there a business you need to reclaim, a career you need to start over or education you need to finish?

If you’re relying on financial support from loved ones, these 13 steps could help you cut the cord.

Focusing on financial independence will take you from reacting to a bad situation to being proactive about your own success.

And remember, you don’t have to go through it again.

Remember going forward, “Being in a relationship, regardless if married or not, does not mean you have to commingle all funds,” Kuehner says.

“I am a huge proponent of a mine, yours and ours type of finance. It is a simple technique, but can have enormously positive effects,” she explains.

To maintain financial independence and vitality in the future, know you don’t have to relinquish control to your partner. Early on, negotiate a split of resources and financial responsibilities that satisfies and respects both of your needs.

Starting Over

Now, Orban is retired and has been writing about her experiences for three years.

Her first book, “It’ll Feel Better When It Quits Hurting,” is a memoir of her life before leaving her ex-husband.

Her second will cover how she rebuilt her life after leaving.

Since 1990, Orban remarried and divorced her second husband. She has five children altogether, and one grandchild. One son is in college, one is still in high school and the rest are grown.

She eventually went back to college and earned her associate degree in psychology.

Healing emotionally and financially took a lot of time and work. But a small epiphany late one night made her realize she could do it.

“(I realized) I didn’t have to wait for time to heal all wounds. I could make steps and go forward and go, ‘I am in control of my life now — me — and I can make these changes.’”

If you or anyone you know needs help, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline to speak with an advocate or be connected with someone in your area: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) / TTY: 1-800-787-3224

Dana Sitar (@danasitar) is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder. She’s written for Huffington Post, Entrepreneur.com, Writer’s Digest and more, attempting humor wherever it’s allowed (and sometimes where it’s not).

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This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.


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