5 days, 4 cities, and a war zone: The demanding travel schedule of Defense Secretary James Mattis

Mattis and his staff completed a five-day trip with stops in San Diego, New Delhi, Kabul and Abu Dhabi. He would clock more than 22,000 flight miles and 42 hours aboard planes, helicopters, and cargo aircraft.
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What you need to know about MLB’s 2019 schedule

If you’re sick and tired of 2018 — or if you’re just a Mets fan — you can now start planning ahead to 2019! Next year’s MLB schedule has been released and here are some of the highlights: Back to Japan: The Mariners and A’s open up in Japan on March 20-21, the first regular-season games played in Tokyo since the Mariners and A’s in 2012. Oh, you heard this first: This is going to be a rematch of the American League Championship Series. That’s right, the A’s are going to win the AL West and the Mariners are going to surge past the Astros for the wild card. The Mariners will beat the Yankees in the wild-card game as James Paxton and Edwin Diaz combine for a no-hitter and then stun the Red Sox in the division series. Meanwhile, the A’s sweep the Indians in their division series. Who wins the ALCS? I’m not telling. Opening Day: The traditional Opening Day is Thursday, March 28 — another early start necessitated by the…
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How to Create Your Parenting Schedule

Now that summer holidays have started and kids are out of school, many parents are starting to plan activities to fill the extra time.

For separated or divorced parents, the beginning of the summer holidays means also creating a thorough parenting plan that coordinates who your children will be with and considers everyone’s responsibilities including work and extracurricular activities.

Creating a good parenting arrangement isn’t easy. In this post, we go over the basics of making a schedule that works for you, your ex, and your children.

Why Should I Make a Parenting Plan?

For some, a parenting plan can seem pointless and time-consuming, especially for parents who don’t follow a fixed schedule.

In reality, a thorough plan can be used to outline everyone’s responsibilities, which in turn can prevent conflicts and help manage obligations.

Keep in mind, however, that if your parenting plan was made with the assistance of a lawyer or a court, you may want to discuss modifying your plan with them as well as your ex-spouse.

Map Out Your Schedule

A good plan considers everyone’s schedule, which is why mapping out your responsibilities and any events is the first step to making your arrangements.

For instance, you may want to consider:

  • Work: You and your ex-spouse’s work schedules will undoubtedly affect your parenting plan, which is why they must be incorporated in your arrangement. For example, let’s say your ex-husband works a rotation job (e.g. he works out of town for one week and is off the next). A good plan for your family would allow him to spend time with his children on his week off.
  • Important holidays or days: Be sure your plan accounts for holidays. For example, your child’s soccer practice may be canceled if it lands on Independence Day. Likewise, be sure to discuss other important days, like a relative or friend’s graduation or wedding.
  • Birthdays: This doesn’t just include your birthday, your child’s, or the other parent’s. You’ll also want to discuss other birthdays that could impact your parenting plan, including those of grandparents, close family friends, your child’s school friends, and more.
  • Vacations: Vacations are difficult enough to arrange without accommodating a parenting plan. If you have a vacation in mind, communicate it to your ex-wife or ex-husband as soon as you can and adjust your plan as needed.
  • School: Most parents do not have to consider school schedules during summer holidays. However, if your situation is unique and your kids are still in school, be sure to add it to your plan. You may also need to discuss transportation to and from your child’s school and other matters that could interfere with the plan, such as extracurricular activities.
  • Special needs or accommodations: If your child requires any sort of testing, assessment, service, treatment, or therapy for school, a program, a hobby, or a medical condition, you’ll want to include it in your plan.

Consider Changes to Your Plan

Acknowledging everyone’s responsibilities is not always enough; a good plan will require compromise between parents.

For instance, if your ex wants to go on vacation during your visitation week, it’s best to be accommodating if you can. Cooperating by swapping visitation weeks, for instance, will help foster goodwill for the inevitable time when you need your ex to consent to a change to the plan.

It may also be beneficial to discuss potential issues or emergency situations, like what you or your ex-husband or ex-wife should do if your child hurt themselves and needed medical assistance. Depending on your custody arrangements, a Child Medical Consent may be needed to allow a parent to authorize medical treatment in the event of an emergency.

Record Your Parenting Arrangement

After scouring your schedule, establishing all the important dates, and confirming which parent will care for the children at what time, document it. Doing so will allow everyone to keep informed and will help ensure everyone understands and agrees to the schedule.

You can record your schedule in whichever way works for your family (e.g. on a notepad or in a Word document or calendar). Using an online calendar (like Google Calendar) is a good idea because it is readily accessible and can be easily modified to accommodate schedule changes.

Some parents also include their plans in their Separation Agreement as an additional guarantee that the plan was acknowledged and agreed to.

Make Your Plan Realistic

Creating a thorough parenting plan is no easy feat. There are a lot of considerations to make, such as where the children will spend each holiday or who will take the children to their extracurricular activities.

However, mapping out your schedule, being mindful and considerate of changes, and recording your plan will help you spend less time organizing schedules and more time with your children.

The post How to Create Your Parenting Schedule appeared first on LawDepot Blog.

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‘Total Bellas’ Recap: John’s Busy Schedule Leaves A Stressed Nikki Planning The Wedding Alone

With John Cena busy at work, wedding planning begins to take a toll on Nikki Bella during the July 8 episode of ‘Total Bellas.’ Here’s our recap of the episode!

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How to make time for travel despite a busy schedule

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With so much of the world to see, we can often find ourselves torn between our desire to explore the hidden gems of the Earth, and our need for the time and money to do so. Because many of us are not lucky enough to take months off from work to leave our troubles behind and travel, we have to find time in between working long shifts, paying bills and everyday adult responsibilities (which we pretend we don’t hate, when we really do) to finally get out of your office chair. So if you need some advice on how to make time for travel when you have a busy schedule, look no further.

Enjoy weekend trips

Okay, so you can’t really go too far over the course of two days, but you can at least get away from the same town you see week-in, week-out. Sometimes, just two days away from your normal hustle and bustle can settle your travel bug for a while. Spend a weekend in the country, check out a new city, take a long hike, or even just find a great place for a spa weekend. Your options are endless. And if you want to spend a bit more time away from your everyday life, try and take off either the Friday or the Monday for a long weekend.

Use your work holiday breaks

Unless you work for the worst boss in the world (sorry if you do), you should get most of the main holidays off from work, e.g., Christmas, Thanksgiving, national holidays, etc. These holidays are the ideal times to take a trip and travel somewhere new – you could even have Christmas on the beach this year! If you don’t mind missing some of your usual traditions, this could be perfect for you.

Travel on top of your work trips

If you’re lucky enough to be able to travel for your job and are sent on business trips during various times of the year then it’s super easy to just travel a few days earlier, or stay a little bit later to actually explore the place you’re visiting. More often than not, you get sent to your business trip destination, do the work, have the meetings, stay in a dodgy hotel and fly home again; without actually exploring your surroundings. Ask your boss if you can stay a few days later and see something new!

Make traveling one of your priorities

When you’ve got a busy work life and a hectic schedule, it can be hard to think of traveling as a priority when you have so much to do. However, everyone needs free time – but this can only be attained when you realize this. You need to find your own money, time and energy to plan and work out the logistics of your trip. Without this, you’re going nowhere. Except back to work.

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The post How to make time for travel despite a busy schedule appeared first on Worldation.

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2018 NFL schedule: Record predictions, analysis for all 32 teams

The full schedule is out, and Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady will meet in Week 9, just the second time they’ve faced off. We’ve got predictions for every game.
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Cross-Country Skiing 2018 Olympics: Full Schedule and How to Watch

Julian Finney/Getty

Are you ready to see some serious endurance? The 2018 Winter Olympic Cross-Country Skiing competition will kick off on Saturday, Feb. 10, at 2:15 a.m. ET. The women will start off the day (or end yours) with a 7.5km + 7.5km Skiathlon followed by the men’s 15K skiathlon on Sunday, Feb. 11 at 1:15 a.m. ET. Qualification rounds kick off on Tuesday, Feb. 13 at 3:30 a.m. ET.

Watching the athletes compete is a good way to learn how to cross-country ski but it certainly is not easy—and some would prefer to come down sick than attempt the race. Cross-country skiing is the oldest type of skiing, according to the official Olympics pages and involves skiing across longer and shorter distances on “country” terrain. The athletes use their body strength to propel them forward instead of the velocity of a track or slope—which is as rough as it sounds. Don’t believe us? The New York Times agrees: “Cross-country skiing is where the elegant majesty of winter sports goes to die an excruciatingly drawn-out death,” it wrote.

But it also explains why the sport is still watched and celebrated because, simply, it’s really grueling and anyone who can endure it deserves to be applauded.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

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How to Watch Speedskating at the 2018 Olympics: Full Schedule

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On Saturday, Feb. 10, at 6 a.m. ET, the Olympic Speedskating competition kicks off at the 2018 Winter Games in Pyeongchang, South Korea.

Speedskating—also known as long-track skating—is similar to track and field’s running events, but these athletes are flying across the ice at speeds as fast as 36 miles per hour. Skaters whiz around their 400-meter laned oval again and again and again. The shortest race—taking place Sunday, Feb. 18 for women and Monday, Feb. 19 for men—is 500 meters. Only men will compete in the longest race: 10,000 meters, on Thursday, Feb. 15. That’s 25 laps! Hopefully no one gets dizzy.

During this year’s Speedskating competition, all eyes will be on Chicago native Shani Davis. At the 2006 Games in Turin, Italy, he became the first black athlete to take home an individual gold medal in a Winter Olympics event: the men’s 1000m. Over a decade later, he’s hitting the Olympic ice for his fifth time.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

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SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN:

http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

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Do You Schedule Breaks to Increase Your Productivity at Work?

schedule breaks to increase your productivity at workWe recently discussed taking breaks at work: how long we work between breaks, if or how long we leave our workspaces on our breaks, what we do during them, and so on. While we’ve had many posts about productivity, including how to keep track of work to-dos, how to focus on work when other things are on your mind, and the best Spotify playlists to help you focus, we haven’t talked a lot about taking breaks throughout the day. Can you schedule when you take breaks at work? If so, do you tend to take a break at the same time every day? Do you schedule breaks on your calendar as appointments so that others know you are unavailable?

Even though breaks were allowed and even encouraged at most full- and part-time jobs I’ve held, I still wouldn’t stop to take my first “break” until 1 p.m. or later. Even then, it might’ve only been break time because I didn’t want to miss out on the last call for the office cafeteria salad bar at 2 p.m. I did, however, almost always take 45 minutes for lunch when I could. I would make it a point to take a long walk, read a book, or meet up with a friend.

We realize that for some of our readers’ high-demand jobs, it’s just not possible to take breaks, at least not frequently. For instance, as a trial attorney, on my docket days or days with back-to-back-to-back client meetings, or when I had trial prep, breaks weren’t always an option. I would often eat lunch at my desk, if I had time to eat at all, and I was lucky if I could get a few minutes to check my personal texts or emails.

Here are some tips we hope you find helpful when it comes trying to schedule breaks to increase your productivity at work:

Why you should schedule breaks at all

Taking a break will improve not only your physical health (as we all know, sitting for too long is bad for us), but your mental and emotional health, too. Even just walking for five minutes every hour can be beneficial. You’ll return to your work more relaxed, refreshed, and ready to keep working. You might even improve your creativity enough to solve a previously unsolvable problem, just by stepping away for a few minutes.

How frequently you should schedule breaks to increase your productivity

Experts say that 90 minutes is the absolute longest you should work before taking a break — even if the break is just for 5-10 minutes. Ideally, you should work an hour or less between breaks to be the most productive. The popular Pomodoro Technique advises you to work for 25 minutes (ideally focusing on one thing only), take a five minute break, and then go back to work. (After four 25-minute blocks, take a longer break.) But the timing can vary here — a study a few years ago found that taking 17-minute breaks every 52 minutes was the best strategy for being productive, while another study found that participants who were given two short breaks during a 50-minute task were able to stay more focused and perform better.

A few ways to encourage yourself to take breaks — besides setting timers/reminders on your phone — are setting your Fitbit to remind you to get up and move periodically; using a physical timer, website, or app to follow the Pomodoro Technique; or installing an app like StandUp! that prompts you to get up and move frequently.

How to get the most out of your breaks

To re-energize and reset your mind throughout the day, breaks can include:

How do you spend your breaks — going for a walk, getting or making coffee, or taking a few minutes to stretch or do a couple yoga poses in your workspace with the door closed? Do you have a job where you are required to take breaks at the same time every day?

Pictured: Deposit Photos / Swanlake1

Further Reading:

  • 3 Ways to Get Maximum Stress Relief During Work Breaks [Huffington Post]
  • Why You Shouldn’t Work More Than 90 Minutes Without Taking A Break [Lifehacker]
  • Why Taking A Break At Work Makes You A Better Employee [Health]
  • When, How, and How Often to Take A Break [Inc.]

 

The post Do You Schedule Breaks to Increase Your Productivity at Work? appeared first on Corporette.com.

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How to Schedule Repeating Tasks

As the New Year starts, I thought it might be fun to talk about how to schedule repeating tasks — specifically, what yearly things do you do, or have built in to your year (month? quarter?) so that you can help stay on top of all the various tasks that build up, whether for your personal life, career development, job search, or more?

I think it all started with the “year in review” posts I’ve been doing here at Corporette for about five years now, as well as my attempt to keep on top of family photos from the past year enough to do a family calendar (also from the past 5 or 6 years or so). But the past few weeks this “review tic” has spread and I’ve been TRYING to sort way too many things lately, hoping the task will become a yearly one.  Lately my focus seems to be on drawers, and in the past week I’ve gone through my desk drawer, my makeup drawer, my sock drawer, my filing cabinets — all for the first time in a zillion years. I’m considering doing a brain dump of everything I’d *like* to sort through, then parsing them out into a few a month… but, well, I haven’t had time to do that yet.  I actually used to have a cleaning system that kind of worked like that — each month had a different “big” cleaning task (windows, blinds, duvet cover, etc) and it was all fine when I was doing it myself but I never seem to think about it since we’ve been using professional cleaners for a few years now… I should put it back on my to do list! (When I gear up for our taxes in a month or so I’ll do my yearly financial review of all the different subscriptions we’re paying for, since I tend to forget anything on autopayment. Oh, I’m also trying to get rid of a ton of bags we’ve had building up to donate and recycle old clothes…)

I’m sure that some of you guys must have even better systems, though, so I’d love to hear what you do — what do you do “every January”? Do you have different tasks for every month of the year? Do you only do big things like that (reorganizing drawers and the like) as they bug you? (What do you delegate, and to whom?) How do you organize regular review tasks like that in a way that doesn’t get overwhelming but keeps your life running as smoothly as you’d like it to?

Picture via Stencil.

Kat has wondered how to schedule repeating tasks without overwhelming yourself -- you know, those regular tasks you do yearly (or less) that wouldn't be a problem if you did them regularly -- but Kat wants to do them all in January. So we asked the readers: what are your best systems for scheduling repeating tasks? What do you do monthly, quarterly, or yearly?

The post How to Schedule Repeating Tasks appeared first on Corporette.com.

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Zayn Malik ‘Thanks God’ Girlfriend Gigi Hadid Handles Their Schedule: ‘She’s Really Organized … I’m Really Not’

Even though Zayn Malik and his supermodel girlfriend Gigi Hadid both have busy schedules, the power couple makes seeing each other a priority.

“It’s actually not that hard for us ,” the singer-songwriter tells Billboard in the magazine’s new cover story — before revealing the reason it’s so easy is because Hadid is in charge of the calendar. “It helps that she’s really organized. Thank God! Because I’m really not, so she helps organize my schedule around seeing her!”

Of course it probably also helps that Malik and Hadid “pretty much live together,” splitting time between his homes in Los Angeles and London and Hadid’s apartment in New York City.

The heartthrob, who made headlines for leaving the successful boy band One Direction in 2015, also revealed that his 22-year-old girlfriend is one of the few people who gets to hear his music while it’s still being written.

“She’s in the studio quite a lot,” Malik, 24, said, adding that “She likes to cook for me and stuff — when I’m here late, she’ll come down and bring me food. She’s cool.”

Malik also opened up about how he decides what to do with his own career, now that he’s the one in control.

“I don’t do things that I wouldn’t buy into. I try to explain that to people and hope that they understand,” he said, adding that “it doesn’t come from a place of being arrogant or above anything.”

Speaking about his former bandmates, Malik revealed that even though he’s not in touch with any of them, he doesn’t attribute that to bad blood — just growing up. “Our relationships have definitely changed since we were in a band together, but I think that’s just life. Everybody grows up; two of the guys have got kids now. But no, I don’t talk to any of them, really.”

In 2016, Zayn had previously told NME that he had tried to contact his former bandmates, “but nobody’s reached out,” besides Liam Payne. “I’m still probably the closest to Liam,” he added. “We talk on the phone. He congratulated me on my single , which was nice. I congratulated him on his Brit Award. It was a good chat.”

RELATED VIDEO: WATCH: An Alien Told Zayn to Leave One Direction!?

Zayn also discussed his collaboration with Taylor Swift — who happens to be a close friend of Hadid — saying he personally recruited Swift for the Fifty Shades Darker soundtrack standout “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever.”

“I felt like she was the right artist for the song. And of course, she’s also a massive artist, so that brings its benefits,” he said. “I get to let her fans know that I’m doing this kind of music, and she lets her fans know she likes my kind of music — there’s no opposition, for real.”


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The 2014 Fall TV Schedule (Kind of)

MONDAY

8-9

ABC – Building Hamas Tunnels With the Stars
CBS – Jackie Gleason: Zero Emmys, Jim Parsons: Four Emmys; There Must Be a Legal Limit to How Many Shows Chuck Lorre Can Produce
NBC – The Search for Screeching Instant Has-Beens Continues Unabated
FOX – Something to Keep the Fanboys Happily Jerking Off #482
CW – If There’s Anything More Fascinating Than Vampires I’d Sure Like to Know About It
Food Network – Guy Fieri Runs Out of Ideas and Eats Cheerios From the Box
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

9 – 10

CBS – The Key Word Is “Hack”
FOX – The Fifth and Sixth Horsemen of the Apocalypse Are Freezer Burn and Hiccups
CW – Está Embarazada? Oh, Dios Mío!
Bravo – The Real Housewives of Pottery Barn
Discovery Channel – Herbie the Love Bug Gets Restored, With Hilarious Consequences
Disney XD – If You Thought There’s No Way to Squeeze More Blood From the George Lucas Turnip, Guess Again
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

10 – 11

ABC – Richard and Kate Will Be Married Over and Over In Every Episode This Season
CBS – NCIS: The Regal Beagle
NBC – Please Let Maggie Gyllenhaal Guest Star So Spader Can Feed Her a Scoop of Creamed Potatoes, a Slice of Butter, Four Peas and All the Ice Cream She Wants **
HGTV – How to Buy a House of the Seven Gables When You Can Only Afford Five of Them
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

TUESDAY

8-9

ABC – I Could Have Puked All Night; Who Put the Bomb in the Rama Lama Rom-Com?
CBS – NCIS: The Legend of Curly’s Gold
NBC – See NBC, Monday 8:00pm
FOX – I Sure Hope the Casting People Didn’t Pick Contestants Who Might Have Conflicting Personalities!
CW – Something to Keep the Fanboys Happily Jerking Off #2560
TV Land – Little Did Allen Funt Dream That the World Would Eventually Become Candid Camera 24 Fucking Hours a Day
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

9 – 10

ABC – Something to Keep the Fanboys Happily Jerking Off #3571
CBS – NCIS: Kornfield Kounty
NBC – I Don’t; Has Anyone Seen Hugh Grant Lately? Is He Okay?
FOX – Please Get Rid of Coach; I Suggest All the People Who Seriously Want an Abortion Episode Go Create Their Own Shows And Have the Times of Their Lives
CW – Christ, At This Point I Think These Guys Are Older Than Christopher Lee
Oprah Winfrey Network – When the World Ends and Only Cockroaches Are Left, Tyler Perry Will Still Be Grinding Out Shit Like This
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

10 – 11

ABC – Bet He Can’t Solve How His Show Dies, Huh? Who’s With Me, People?
CBS – I Wonder If Northern Lights Knew About ISIS’ Progress
NBC – Zero Alarm
National Geographic – I Thought Rewilding Was Advocating Aestheticism and Being Arrested For Gross Indecency
Spike TV – There May Be More Shows About Tattoos On the Air Than Shows About Serial Killers, So That’s Something
Syfy – Because There Isn’t Enough Zombie-Related Entertainment, We’ll Make a Show About the Making of Zombie-Related Entertainment
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

WEDNESDAY

8-9

ABC – Family Sitcom Which Slips By Under the Radar Year After Year Until Syndication #3587; If Molly Picon Isn’t In It, I’m Not Watching
CBS – Survivor: Arrakis
NBC – Homicide ‘n’ Family, Mmm-Mmm, Good!
FOX – Waiting For Someone to Make Gordon Ramsay Eat His Own Brains Like Ray Liotta in Hannibal
CW – Something to Keep the Fanboys Happily Jerking Off #122687
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

9 – 10

ABC – The Bob Newhart Show (1972-78): Zero Emmys, Modern Family: 21 Emmys; Wow, Black TV Families Are Just As Boring As White Ones
CBS – This Season Will Be Different Because — Ha! Made You Look
NBC – Law & Order: Naked Celebrities Unit
FOX – Teens + Pediatrics = Mawkishness On a Level Unimagined By Humankind
CW – Post-Apocalyptic Worlds Need the Most Love
VH1 – Jenna Jameson AND Juan Pablo Galavis On the Same Show? Pinch Me, I’m Dreaming!
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

10 – 11

ABC – You May Be On Season Three/But It Don’t Worry Me
CBS – Eventually TV Will Run Out of Ways to Fictionally Mutilate the Human Body and Start Running Actual Snuff Films
NBC – Chicago Drill Press Operators
A&E – I Want a Bob’s Burgers Crossover
Esquire TV – Fellating the Rich
TV Land – Yep, Betty White Is Still Ambulatory; The Spare Parts of the Spare Parts From Sitcoms That Sucked 40 Years Ago
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

THURSDAY

8-9

ABC – Shonda Rhimes McSoapFest™, Flatlined
CBS – Unsportsmanlike Conduct Now Includes Foul Language Aimed at Officials, Players, and Coaches So That Oughta Make the Game a Whole Lot Safer ***
NBC – Yes, We All Go Into a Nuclear Tizzy When Kirsten Gillibrand Is Insulted But Have No Problem Keeping This On the Air
FOX – Bring Gormogon Back to Kill the Cast Except for Emily Whom I Personally Save
CW – Did Someone Say Vampires? Sadly, Yes
Sundance Channel – Whatever Time of Day, Uncle Kent Is On
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

9 – 10

ABC – Shonda Rhimes McSoapFest™, Just Add Politicians
NBC – Motion to Suppress; A, You’re Abominable, B, You’re Banality, C, You’ll Be Cancelled In Three Weeks…
FOX – Insert Doctor Who Joke of Your Choice Here
CW – For a Show Set In the 16th Century, the Characters Have Really Nice Teeth
VH1 – Digitized Boobies and Pee-Pees! Philo Farnsworth Must Be Very, Very Proud
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

10 – 11

ABC – Shonda Rhimes McSoapFest™, Just Add Lawyers
NBC – The Whole Series Turns Out To Be a Novel That Rory Wrote to Make Lorelai and Luke Laugh Hysterically
IFC – Adorable Lyrically Explicit Folk Singers Are Funnier Than Ugly Ones
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

FRIDAY

8-9

ABC – Family Sitcom Which Slips By Under the Radar Year After Year Until Syndication #4266; Wow, Mexican-American TV Families Are Just As Boring As White Ones
CBS – Send Them to Iraq to Fight With the Kurds
NBC – Dateline NBC: Caramel or Nougat: Which Is Stickier?
FOX – To Boost Ratings, the Producers Will Inject One of the Contestants With Ebola
CW – Oh, How Every Improv Brain Poot Is Worth Its Weight In Comedy Gold
AMC – Maybe You Hadn’t Heard: Breaking Bad Is Gone
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

9 – 10

ABC – Scrub Daddy Has Made More Than $ 18 Million
CBS – Only Nine More Seasons and It’ll Tie the Original
NBC – Did You Know There’s a Fairy Tale Called “The Wishing-Table, The Golden-Ass, and the Cudgel In the Sack”?
FOX – Just In Case the Fanboys Are Momentarily Tricked Into Going Outside On Monday Between 8pm and 9pm
CW – In This Cycle, the Models Analyze Resource Allocation Mechanisms and Develop an Orbital Laser
Country Music Television – Gimme a T! Gimme an I! Gimme a T! Gimme an S!
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

10 – 11

ABC – 20/20: The Stories Even Dateline NBC Wouldn’t Touch
CBS – Policing ‘n’ Family, Mmm-Mmm, Good!
NBC – Go Back to Hell… Please
Cinemax – And Yet, I’d Still Rather Go To the Knickerbocker Hospital Than Grey Sloan Memorial
Destination America – Didn’t Scully and Mulder Already Investigate This?
Syfy – It’s Like The Walking Dead, Only It’s On This Network At This Time On This Day
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing But, When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

SATURDAY

8-9

ABC – Glorifying Our Future NFL Felons
CBS – We Used To Be The Tiffany Network
NBC – Reruns Your DVRs Rejected
FOX – See ABC, Saturday 8:00pm
Hallmark – It’s Like a Soap Opera Written By Care Bears
Spike TV – We Run Out of Toothless Vagrants to Arrest and Start Setting Houses on Fire
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

9 – 10

CBS – Perhaps TV Execs Should Switch to Porn on Saturdays
NBC – More Reasons Why Streaming Is Rendering Networks Obsolete
My Lifetime – There’s a Spectre Inside Me, His Name Is Reggie And We Get Along Fine
TLC – When They Run Out of “J” Names, The Parents Will Point at the Kids and Make a Noise Like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

10 – 11

CBS – 48 Hours: Exploiting the Memories of Slaughtered Loved Ones for 26 Years
NBC – Second Word, Third Syllable, Sounds Like “Ear”
Animal Planet – True Stories From the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

SUNDAY

8-9

ABC – Hickory Dickory Doe/I Haven’t Watched This Show/The Truth I Swear/I Just Don’t Care/Hickory Dickory Doe
CBS – Politics ‘n’ Family, Mmm-Mmm, Good!
NBC – Also, Post-Touchdown Dunks Over the Goalpost Have Been Banned, Making This a Better, More Perfect World For Everyone
FOX – Maybe It’s Time to Actually Consider Making Chief Wiggum P.I. and The Love-Matic Grampa; Andre Braugher Is In This And That’s Good Enough For Me
Bravo – The Real Housewives of Whatever Fucking City Will Have Them
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

9 – 10

ABC – When Jimi Hendrix Wakes Up, I’ll Watch
CBS – In the Premiere Episode, Alicia Is Killed In a Traffic Accident Before Dr. McCoy Can Save Her
FOX – At Least A Million Ways to Die In The West Bombed So We’ll Be Spared a Sequel; This Looks Like Shit But at Least Seth MacFarlane Isn’t Involved
Food Network – I Like the Name “Veals on Wheels”
AMC – To Top “The Grove,” Maggie and Glenn Shoot Themselves When One Of Them Turns While Michonne Gives Birth to Carl’s Baby
Destination America – Casper the Friendly Mennonite
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

10 – 11

ABC – Frankly, I Like It Served at Room Temperature
CBS – CSI: Appomattox Court House
E! – I’m Guessing Even Gun Control Advocates Wouldn’t Mind Emptying a Few Clips Into These Darlings
FX – Gore Del Tor(o)
Showtime – Insert Plateau Phase Joke Here
CNN – This Just In: Absolutely Nothing, But When We Repeat It Enough Times It Becomes Something, Right?

** In November:
10 – 11: The Sad Thing Is That Katherine Heigl Is About On Par With Our Current CIA Analysts

*** In October:
8 – 9: See CBS 8 – 9; I’d Say This Is the Worst Thing Will Arnett Has Done But Then I Remember Let’s Go to Prison
9 – 10: I Hope Charlie Sheen Shows Up and Kills Jon Cryer In the Final Episode As “Adagio For Strings” Plays; Wicked Cancelled
10 – 11: Jeremy Brett Is Still the Best Holmes
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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