Weekend Wednesday: Where to Shop for “Tough Girl Chic” Clothes

where to shop for tough girl chic clothingI have some mom friends who are really (really) into Lilly Pulitzer and Vineyard Vines type of preppiness — and I thought it might be fun to round up different stores selling “weekend vibe” clothes in different personalities for our ongoing Weekend Wednesdays series. After all, we’ve talked in the past about the weekend you vs. the weekday you — as well as sharing our best tips for upgrading your weekend clothes and cultivating style in general. I tend to associate Lily et al. with the summer months, so we’ll save preppy weekend looks for next spring — and instead let’s start with the weekend vibe of tough girl chic, which has always been one of my preferred options,

Let’s back up a bit, though: As a reminder, there was an old style book I had where the author (CNN style commentator Elsa Klensch) talked about how “[m]any successful businesswomen I know tap into their private visions of themselves and express that inner being in their weekend wear. … On weekends, I want to be softer, more romantic. My fantasy in the summer is to look as though I just stepped out of an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel wearing Gatsby-style long skirts and gently flowing chiffon scarves.”

So I’ve always had the idea that a bit of separation of your professional and private self is necessary, even healthy as a boundary ritual. “Tough girl chic” (a flawed term, to be sure, but I’m not quite sure what else to call it) has always been one of my preferred weekend vibes, primarily for comfort/ease/flattering but with an edge. The big pros for me are a lot of flat boots and denim, a lot of black (making for an easy capsule wardrobe), a non-fussy aesthetic (perfect for someone who avoids ironing like the plague and is happy when her jeans get new rips), and easy upgrading with concert t-shirts and things like that. Score!

There are a few brands who I think of as selling great tough girl chic clothes if you want to move away from jeans, boots, and graphic tees, so I thought it would be fun to explore some great stores selling “tough girl chic” clothing today.

Readers, do you have a distinct “weekend personality”? Do you like the vibes of tough girl chic or rocker chic — and if so, where do you shop and what do you buy to bring your vision to life? 

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Building Blocks for Tough Girl Chic

Tough Girl Chic with a British Edge: AllSaints

I love AllSaints for a bit of “tough girl chic with a British edge” — I always stop in when I’m near their store in SoHo. In addition to having their own store, the brand is also available at Nordstrom and Bloomingdale’s.

Where to Shop for Tough Girl Chic Clothing: AllSaints
Pictured above: one / two / three

Where to Shop for Tough Girl Chic Clothing in Sizes 6–32: Universal Standard

Universal Standard is available in sizes 6–32 and has a new “Fit Liberty” program where, if your size changes within a year of purchase, they’ll send you a new shirt. In addition to having their own store, the brand is also available at Nordstrom & J.Crew.

weekend vibes tough girl chic

Pictured above: one / two / three

(I have top #3 and like it a lot!)

Let’s hear from you, readers: Do you have a “weekend personality” (or personalities!), whether it’s a tough girl or not? Where do you love to shop for weekend clothes? 

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Tough Talks: 3 Hard Conversations to Have with Aging Parents

According to the United States Census Bureau, senior citizens (adults over the age of 65) make up 14.5% of the country’s population—that’s about 46.2 million people—and 83% of those people have children and grandchildren.

With such high numbers of aging parents, it’s a good idea for their children to make some time to have difficult conversations regarding things like estate planning and last wishes.

Read through this post to get an idea of three discussions you should have with your parents to ensure their assets are protected and their end-of-life wishes are understood.

Dealing with Your Parents’ Estates

Although it’s likely that your elderly parents will have looked into estate planning already, you should check with them to make sure they have some documentation in place. Many Americans don’t have a Last Will or a Living Trust to handle the division of their assets after they pass away, and that’s likely not a situation you want your parents to be in.

When someone dies without a Will, the process of passing on their assets can become a long, overdrawn (and sometimes complicated) operation, and in some cases, it can leave the distribution of their assets at the discretion of a court-appointed administrator.

Having a Last Will allows your parents to name an executor they know and trust to carry out their last wishes so they can have more control over how their estate is divided.

Discussing Your Parents’ Potential Incapacity

A loss of agency refers to when a person loses their ability to make decisions for themselves. It’s not easy to think about the possibility of our parents losing their independence or their capacity, but it’s something that you should be prepared for all the same.

If your parents become incapacitated or can no longer make decisions for themselves, they’ll need to have someone step in to manage their affairs for them.

A Power of Attorney document comes into play here, which allows your parents to name an attorney-in-fact to make decisions related to their:

  • Finances (such as paying bills, cashing checks, transferring funds, etc.)
  • Legal affairs (such as communicating with their lawyer, filing documents with a court, etc.)
  • Real estate (such as selling or renting residential or commercial properties listed in their names)
  • Business dealings (such as managing their business, making employment decisions, attending meetings in their stead, and more)

Your parents might also benefit from creating a Living Will (also known as a Medical Power of Attorney or a Health Care Directive) that outlines their health care preferences should they become incapacitated.

A Living Will would allow your parents’ named agent(s) to authorize things like life support (CPR, assisted breathing, artificially administered food and water, etc.) and comfort care (the use of medications to create the most comfortable environment possible for the patient). They could also state whether or not they’d like to be resuscitated or revived in the case of organ failure.

Talking About Memorial Wishes and Funeral Planning

Talking about death is difficult for most people at any stage of life. However, it’s a good idea to discuss how your parents would like to be memorialized, and it’s best not to put off this particular conversation for too long because you never know what could happen in the meantime.

If you’re unsure how to make it through this potentially uncomfortable conversation, you might want to use an End-of-Life Plan to help structure it.

An End-of-Life Plan is an estate planning tool your parents can use to outline their wishes for their memorials.

The plan allows them to specify:

  • Someone to carry out their wishes
  • If they’d like a death notice or obituary to be written and published
  • How they’d like their body and remains to be dealt with (e.g. cremation, burial, etc.)
  • Where they’d like to be laid to rest (such as in a cemetery or spreading their ashes in a specific place)
  • Whether they’d like formal services like a funeral, wake, or celebration of life held in their name

Many people include their funeral arrangements as part of their Last Will and Testament, but it’s better to have a separate document because a Will is often found and read after a person’s funeral.

You should also make sure that if your parents create any estate planning documents, they either give you copies or tell you where to find them.

Covering Tough Topics

No one wants to think about the possibility or the result of their aging parents’ last days. Most topics related to mortality and end-of-life planning are not considered polite dinner conversation, and they’re not things many people are thrilled to discuss.

However, having the talks now will make things a little easier when your parents eventually pass away, and they can offer some peace of mind for your parents because their last wishes will be heard and followed.

The post Tough Talks: 3 Hard Conversations to Have with Aging Parents appeared first on LawDepot Blog.

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China issues rules to get tough on academic integrity

SHANGHAI (Reuters) – China has issued new guidelines to enforce academic integrity in science that include plans to “record and assess” the conduct of scientists and institutions and punish anyone guilty of misconduct, state news agency Xinhua reported.


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Trump’s drug plan isn’t as tough as his talk—but the real risk could come later

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The Paralympics Fire Back After Trump Calls Them ‘Tough to Watch’

Hours after President Donald Trump called the Paralympic Games “tough to watch,” the organization called on the President to join the billions of viewers around the world who are inspired by the competition.

“Record numbers of people around the world are not finding @Paralympics tough to watch,” the organization tweeted on Saturday. “Billions of viewers now take in the Paralympics in hundreds of countries around the world. We hope the US President continues to watch and be inspired by the Paralympics.”

The tweet comes in response to a remark Trump made at a Friday ceremony celebrating this year’s Olympic and Paralympic Games in PyeongChang, South Korea. “What happened with the Paralympics was so incredible and so inspiring to me,” Trump said at the ceremony, according to The Daily Beast. “And I watched — it’s a little tough to watch too much, but I watched as much as I could.”

The remark sparked immediate backlash online, with many recalling an incident during the 2016 presidential campaign when Trump appeared to mock a reporter with physical disability. Trump denied the accusation.

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Larry Kudlow, new chief economic advisor to Trump, says China ‘has earned a tough response’

China can expect the U.S. to take a tough stance when it comes to international trade, Larry Kudlow, the newly appointed director of the National Economic Council, said Wednesday.
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Why This Tough, Wild World Series Was So Much Fun to Watch

You could call it the best World Series ever or one of the most heartbreaking, depending on who you root for. But the 2017 World Series was easily up there with the most exciting battles in the history of baseball and the pursuit of the Commissioner's Trophy.

After a seven-game, eight-day slugfest, the Houston Astros came out on top over the Los Angeles Dodgers, four games to three,

This article originally appeared on www.rollingstone.com: Why This Tough, Wild World Series Was So Much Fun to Watch

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This 66-Year-Old Woman Lost 80 Pounds and Completed a Tough Mudder Race

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‘I thought it was called “Snackchat”!’ Winona on Stranger Things, social media and the ‘tough’ years

She’s the star of a Netflix phenomenon and she doesn’t even use social media, but when you’re as iconic as Winona Ryder, you live by your own rules. Here, the Stranger Things actress talks to Helena De Bertonado about settling down, recycling clothes and being the ultimate Hollywood rebel

Winona Ryder has only just started talking when we are interrupted by the seductively rasping voice of Leonard Cohen: ‘If you want a partner, take my hand…’ It’s the ringtone of her phone, set to ‘I’m Your Man’, the title track of Cohen’s legendary 1988 album. She giggles as she pulls it out of her jumbled bag to turn it off. On her phone case is an image of Patti Smith, whose music provided the soundtrack to much of Ryder’s adolescence.

Spending time with Ryder is like being in a time warp. The 80s – when she starred in a succession of cult movies, including Beetlejuice and Heathers – was her decade, even though she was only a teenager. When the late Terry Wogan interviewed her in 1991 – then 19 and engaged to her Edward Scissorhands’ co-star Johnny Depp – he introduced her as ‘the most exciting young actress in America today’.

But then, for some reason, her star stopped rising. Despite winning a Golden Globe for her captivating performance as May Welland in Martin Scorsese’s 1993 Age Of Innocence, the rest of the decade was less memorable.

‘I’ve definitely done some clunkers,’ she says of her subsequent movie choices. In 2001, she was infamously arrested for shoplifting, prompting a trial that revealed her drug use and depression. Aged just 30, it seemed that Ryder would become a footnote in movie history, remembered more for her crime and her relationship with Depp than for her exceptional abilities as an actress.

Winona Ryder Marie Claire

The ‘Winonaissance’

If it wasn’t for Stranger Things, the Netflix science-fiction horror series, which has become a cultural phenomenon, that is probably where Ryder would have remained.

An 80s throwback, Stranger Things is an homage to classic Steven Spielberg. And casting Ryder, the quintessential 80s teen outsider, in the lead adult role – a mother deranged by grief when her son goes missing – was a stroke of brilliance. A ‘Winonaissance’, as it’s been called.

‘It’s so overwhelming,’ says Ryder of the reception to the show, which is soon to return for a second season. ‘I don’t know what it’s like for really famous people… I keep hearing that people are dressing up like me [as her character Joyce]. I’m like, “What?”’

‘People who I really respect talk about “relevance” but I’m like, “I don’t care, leave me alone.”’

We meet at a house in Beverly Hills with sweeping views towards the Pacific, where the Marie Claire cover shoot is taking place. Although only a handful of people are present, at first I don’t even recognise Ryder. It’s a chilly day and she has wrapped her petite frame in multiple layers: a Joy Division T-shirt under a maroon cardigan and a large suit jacket that belongs to her brother, teamed with a pair of Levi’s – ‘my dad’s jeans from the 70s’ – and some battered, maroon lace-up shoes. ‘I got them for 60 bucks and wear them all the time,’ she says. The whole ensemble is topped with a wide-brim, wraparound, straw sun visor.

It’s only when Ryder smiles – which she does often – that she looks familiar. She has a quirky, open smile that lights up her huge eyes, and her face is barely lined, belying her 45 years. Although shy at first, we end up talking for an hour and a half. On the Hollywood bonkers spectrum – and considering the life she has lived – she is impressively grounded.

Winona Ryder for Marie Claire

Her parents, although unconventional, are key to this. Born in 1971, in the small town of Winona, Minnesota (hence her name), Ryder grew up on a commune outside San Francisco. Both writers, her parents were friends of poet Allen Ginsberg and writer Timothy Leary, her godfather.

‘We didn’t have a lot of money,’ Ryder recalls. ‘But the love compensation was amazing. My dad would make little things exciting, like bringing home Rolos. There’s that saying, “you find your family,” but I would have chosen them even if they weren’t my parents. They’re my best friends.’ Initially wary of Hollywood, they told her she could only act if she maintained her grades. Even then, she was only allowed to film during the school holidays.

‘Everything is changing so fast. I’ve never been very strategic. I think if you try to be strategic, you just end up failing.’

Ryder won her first role at 13 in high-school movie Lucas. The film’s director, David Seltzer, said, ‘She had the kind of presence I had never seen – an inner life. Whatever message was being said by her mouth was being contradicted by the eyes.’

Bullied at school, Ryder thought her film career would boost her popularity, especially when she made comedy horror Beetlejuice in 1988 (in which she played goth teenager Lydia Deetz). ‘I remember thinking, “Ooh, it’s like the number-one movie. This is going to make things great at school.” But it made things worse. They called me a witch.’

When it comes to advice on acting roles, Ryder turns to her parents. Her father, an antiquarian bookseller, locates out-of-print books to help her. ‘When I did Girl, Interrupted [about a young woman who finds herself at a mental institution], my dad got me this amazing Mary Ellen Mark book [showing photos of women in the maximum security section of Oregon State Hospital].’ Ryder describes herself as an avid reader, dragging a mountain of books around wherever she goes.

‘We didn’t have a lot of money [growing up], but the love compensation was amazing’

‘I always have Leonard Cohen On Leonard Cohen – it’s like Linus with his blanket,’ she says, referring to the Peanuts character who is never seen without his security blanket. Not having children herself, Ryder asked her mother for advice during the shooting of Stranger Things.

‘I said, “Mom, if every bit of logic is telling you your kid is gone, would you still [refuse to believe it]?” And she said, “Absolutely.” I said, “What if they show you a body?” She said, “If you don’t see it happen, you don’t believe it.” It’s a weird, primal thing. But I may have gone too far: it seemed like every day I was crying or freaking out.’

Winona Ryder for Marie Claire

The early noughties ‘tough times’

Her parents were also there to help pick up the pieces when she temporarily threw in the acting towel after her shoplifting trial in 2002, and returned to San Francisco. ‘My hiatus,’ she says, rolling her eyes. ‘Whatever they want to call it – I did take time off. It was mutual, I think. I just went through a tough time.’

It didn’t help that the early noughties were not really the era for a counter-culture rebel like Ryder, and she had to stand aside for a succession of perfect girl-next-door types – the Jennifers, the Gwyneths, the Reeses. But it did show her that there was more to life than Hollywood.

‘I’m not in any way comparing myself to Daniel Day-Lewis [who recently announced his retirement from acting], but you do become interested in other things.’ So, Ryder became immersed in the study of constitutional law, sitting in on lectures at Berkeley College – ‘There were a lot of laws that I disagreed with’ – and for a few days even joined environmental activist Julia Butterfly Hill, who was spending two years living in a redwood tree.

‘I’m grateful I got to start at the time I did. I don’t know if I would even have become an actor [if I was starting out now]’

Making her return to acting in 2006, in Richard Linklater’s sci-fi animation A Scanner Darkly, before appearing in Black Swan (2010) as an embittered, ageing dancer, I wonder if she felt compromised by the lack of roles in her midst?

‘There are definitely times when it feels like there’s a real drought. It’s like that line in First Wives Club: “There are only three ages for women in Hollywood – Babe, District Attorney and Driving Ms Daisy.” Or mother, which I am now. Luckily, [Joyce in Stranger Things] is not a cookie-cutter character; I get to do some more stuff with it. But it’s also hard to complain,’ she continues. ‘You think about what’s going on in the world right now and (puts on a babyish, petulant voice), “There’s not enough roles for me! I want to be…” So it’s a tricky conversation. There are women who are facing much harder things all over the globe.’

Ryder worries about the child stars of Stranger Things, who have to endure much more intrusion than she ever did. ‘I’m grateful that I got to start at the time I did. As much as I love it, I don’t know if I would even have become an actor [if I was starting out now]. I wouldn’t know how to [handle it]. I do worry about the massive exposure at that age.’

But, she says, the child actors on the show seem to take everything in their stride. ‘Millie [Bobby Brown, who plays the enigmatic Eleven] teases me. I’m like the old grandma.’ She adopts a wobbly voice: ‘What are you kids doing?’ She laughs, thinking of the occasion she mistook the Snapchat messaging app for some kind of snack: ‘“Snack chat? Give me a piece of that!” I’m like the confused older person [on the set].’

Ryder, who once remarked that the tombstone on her grave would say, ‘Fuck you’, remains vehemently non-conformist. ‘I think it’s ridiculous that you can get in trouble for wearing the same dress again. I wear things over and over because I like them. Look at the economy. Should we really be out there saying that you’re not allowed to re-wear something?’

With a history of relationships exhaustively chronicled in the press – Matt Damon as well as Depp – these days she keeps her private life firmly out of the limelight. Since 2011, she has been in a relationship with Scott Mackinlay Hahn, a fashion designer, and she relishes being with someone who’s not in the film industry. ‘I think it’s healthy, and I enjoy feeling a bit more settled now.’

Winona Ryder for Marie Claire

Settling down

The actress once said she would rather never marry than have a marriage that one day ends in divorce. Have her parents set the bar so high, she feels she can never emulate their relationship? ‘They are madly in love, they’re like teenagers. It’s embarrassing sometimes,’ sighs Ryder affectionately. ‘I’ve had relationships that haven’t worked out. But when you have that as your gold [standard], and you know that’s the way it should be…’ She shakes her head, ‘Oh, man!’

Ryder has just shot an independent movie called Destination Wedding with Keanu Reeves – the fourth time they’ve appeared in a film together. (‘He’s a really old friend of mine. Most of my friends are friends that I’ve had since I was 15.’) And there is already talk of a third – and perhaps even a fourth – season of Stranger Things, although she is reluctant to think too far ahead.

Winona Ryder for Marie Claire

Where does she see herself in ten or even 20 years’ time? ‘I honestly don’t know if the world is going to exist then,’ says Ryder. ‘Everything is changing so fast. I’ve never been very strategic. I think if you try to be strategic, you just end up failing.’

One thing is for certain, we are unlikely to see this inimitable 80s icon on social media any time soon. ‘People who I really respect talk about “relevance” but I’m like, “I don’t care, leave me alone.”’ Well, she’s managed fine without it so far, and long may she continue.

Stranger Things 2 launches on Netflix on 27 October

The post ‘I thought it was called “Snackchat”!’ Winona on Stranger Things, social media and the ‘tough’ years appeared first on Marie Claire.

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US clears first ‘living drug’ for tough childhood leukemia

WASHINGTON (AP) — Opening a new era in cancer care, the Food and Drug Administration on Wednesday approved the first treatment that genetically engineers patients’ own blood cells into an army of assassins to seek and destroy childhood leukemia.
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US clears first ‘living drug’ for tough childhood leukemia

WASHINGTON (AP) — Opening a new era in cancer care, the Food and Drug Administration on Wednesday approved the first treatment that genetically engineers patients’ own blood cells into an army of assassins to seek and destroy childhood leukemia.
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This tough and tiny dynamo is the breakout ‘Ninja Warrior’ star

When Barclay Stockett cleared the 14¹/₂-foot curved beast known as the Warped Wall, she became one of the rising stars of “American Ninja Warrior” — and a hero to the vertically challenged. The wall is difficult even for the lean, lanky — and usually male — competitors, who can reach for its ledge more easily….
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Wrestling Champion Ric Flair Hospitalized for ‘Tough Medical Issues’

Update 5:15 p.m.: Ric Flair is out of surgery, a WWE representative told TMZ Sports. Flair's family is reportedly by his side as they wait to meet with doctors.

Update: Ric Flair has been placed in a medically induced coma,

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Trump: ‘Fire and fury’ warning to North Korea ‘wasn’t tough enough’

The president doubled down on his earlier threat to Kim Jong Un.
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Trump Suggests “Fire And Fury” Comments Were Not Tough Enough

President Donald Trump has faced some criticism for remarks threatening North Korea with “fire and fury” but suggested Thursday that his comments may not have been tough enough.
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I’m learning to be one tough mother instead of a pushover

by

Whitney Barthel

posted in Parenting

I am a total softie. The problem with this is children have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting adults that are susceptible to being walked all over.

As a child, I would say I was subjected to borderline emotional and physical abuse by an adult in my life that was not one of my parents. As I result, I vowed I would never act in a manner that made my children afraid of me.

I never wanted my kids to know the feeling of being hit or kicked by a caretaker, or what it’s like to be called stupid by an adult, or be in constant fear of facing punishment for something as small as an accident. I wanted my kids to feel nothing but safe and loved.

Unfortunately, the my boys eventually started viewing my resistance to discipline as a green light to misbehave.


You haven’t known wild until you have lived in a house full of boys. My four boys, ages 6, 5, 3, and 1.

After being one of those moms dragging naughty kids through the grocery store, I decided something had to be done. And, being the boys’ main caretaker as my husband works insane hours as a business owner, I knew it had to be done by me.

I did lots of research and tried reflecting on times I was disciplined as a child that were effective, yet did not scare me. Here is what I came up with.

  1. Try to understand why your child is acting out. One thing I’ve noticed: sometimes my kids misbehave because they actually needed something and don’t know how to communicate their needs to me. They’re hungry, have to use the bathroom, or they’re tired. When I learned to distinguish between unmet needs and just plain naughtiness, I made a huge leap.
  2. Don’t make empty threats. This was my biggest downfall. Threatening works for a while, but once kids learn you won’t actually back your words up, the effectiveness of verbal warnings goes out the window.
  3. Let your kids know what acts are punishable. As a child, perhaps what scared me the most was not even knowing when I was being “bad,” hence I never knew when I would be punished. Had I known which of my actions would be punished, I surely would have avoided them.
  4. Know that your kids will always love you, even if you have to be the bad cop sometimes.
  5. Be fair. I talk to my kids about why they have acted out and why it’s wrong. I ask them what they think a reasonable punishment is, and make sure the punishment fits the crime.

While doing my research on teaching my kids respect and fair punishment, I ran across some advice given by Emma Johnson, author of The Kickass Single Mom. And while I’m not a single mom, I found Emma’s advice incredibly helpful.

Emma writes,

“You’re the parent. Period. One of the pitfalls of [parenthood] is that…it is very easy to rely on your child for companionship in an unhealthy way. Watch yourself…And stop yourself if you’re inclined to go easy on the time outs because you’re worried the child will be angry at you. You’re the mom! It’s your job to make them hate you! (I jest)

Give yourself a break. You will likely screw up. That is part of being a mom. Then you get up the next day — and screw up again! And in between you will do most of it right. You’re doing a great job. Keep at it, keep trying.”

As I read this, the thing that really stood out to me was the “keep at it, keep trying.” I’ve noticed my kids misbehave the most when I don’t have the physical or emotional energy to discipline them. Since recognizing this, I have learned consistency is key, whether I’m beat down or not.

What is your best piece of advice for moms who stink at discipline?

Images by Thinkstock, Whitney Barthel

The post I’m learning to be one tough mother instead of a pushover appeared first on BabyCenter Blog.

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Rocky Boots Men’s Brown Ergo Tough Waterproof Oxford Work Shoes 5060

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Carhartt Baby Boys Tougher Than Tough Bodyshirt

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Carhartt Baby Boys Tougher Than Tough Bodyshirt

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Carhartt Baby Boys Tougher Than Tough BodyshirtThis is a necessity for your little tough guy! With long sleeves and double snaps on the shoulder, he will be thrilled to wear this garment. It includes a crew neck, long sleeves, ribbed knit cuffs, and three snaps in the crotch. In green, it features big machinery and Tougher than Tough screen on the front center. Made of 100% cotton, it is machine washable. 100% cotton Crew neck with two snaps Long sleeves, ribbed cuffs Three snaps in crotch Tougher than Tough screen with big machinery Green Machine wash Style # CA8489-CG01-AI
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14 Things Only People With Tough Names Understand

For TueNight.com by Siobhan Adcock

1. I grew up with a tough name. Siobhan Adcock. Look at it. There’s almost no part of that name that’s not sort of a pain in the ass.

2. People don’t tend to remember it, and when they do, they can’t pronounce it. Siobhan is an Irish name — it means Jane, or Joan, or Joanne, or if you’re feeling like a sparkly unicorn fairy, “sea foam blowing off the waves.” My father told me (incorrectly, as it turns out) that it means “Queen of the Emerald Isles.” He and my mother had heard of it by way of Siobhan McKenna, the famous Irish stage actress who was in Dr. Zhivago. (But not the famously beautiful actress who was in Dr. Zhivago. And also not the second-most beautiful actress in Dr. Zhivago. The other one.)

3. My father’s name, by the way, was Dick. They don’t really name kids that anymore. Especially with a last name like Adcock. Dick Adcock, Jr. Because his father’s name was also Richard. So when my dad was growing up, there was Big Dick Adcock and Little Dick Adcock. No one, apparently, in the early 1950s, thought that was a problem.

4. When I was a kid there was this, um, spread? Like an oleo type of thing? It was light and silky. Chiffon had probably one of the catchier two-word jingles of the ’70s and early ’80s: “It’s… Chiffon!” Every time I got on the school bus, I had to be announced. By everyone. Often in five-point harmony. “It’s… Sio-ffan!”

5. Since my last name starts with an A, every year on the first day of school, I was inevitably the first name on the roll to be called. The fresh, shiny new roll. Oh, my teachers. I pitied them. Here it was, the beginning of a new school year, the school year they hoped they wouldn’t fuck up or make embarrassing mistakes during (especially not on day one), and you could just see their fresh, young, expectant faces crumple and fall when they realized they weren’t even going to be able to get past the first name on the roll call without asking for help.

I’d usually let them suffer in silence for a second or two, squinting and frowning down at the list of names, and then mutter, “Here. I’m here. It’s me, Siobhan.”

Ultimately, you have to make it easy on people.

6. When I go to a restaurant and leave my name for a table, I tell them I’m Suzanne. Or Sabrina. Or Soybean. All actual pronunciation attempts I have heard.

7. You can imagine what I tell baristas.

8. Long ago, I arrived at a formula for how to respond when I’m asked to spell my name. This is especially essential for forms filled out by baffled clipboard holders:

“S-i-o. (Pause here.) B as in Boy. (Another pause.) h-a-n. Last name: A-d-c (Emphasize the c. Then a long, long pause here, almost long enough to make them think you’re done, before the finale.) o-c-k.”

About 50 percent of the time, I get: “A-d what?”

“C-O-C-K. COCK! COCK!”

“Cock?”

9. And then I went into digital publishing, primarily at women’s websites, and as such, I’ve had a lot of awesome email addresses:

sadcock@women.com

sadcock@ivillage.com

sadcock@theknot.com

All the places a cock could ostensibly be sad, I have worked at.

10. I imagine other people with “cock” in their last names also have this problem, but I’ve discovered that I actually can’t register for a new email address with my real name anymore, because it sets off a spam filter, and I’m asked to “choose another name.” (You choose another name, Yahoo!)

11. My sister, Gillian Adcock, has, for many years, been a teacher at a local high school. When she was single, she kept her last name a secret at work — she had to. For all these lovable teenagers, she was only ever “Miss A” for years, until she got married and then became Mrs. Fletcher. I mean, can you imagine what a roomful of teenagers would do with something like “Miss Adcock”?

12. When I got married, I had the opportunity, at last, to change my last name. I went to the marriage license place in downtown Brooklyn with my soon-to-be husband, whose last name is innocuous and contains no filthy words. I probably could have changed my first name too while I was at it — nobody in that office seems like they’re paying a whole lot of attention. But I didn’t. Looking down at the form, I understood that I didn’t want to. My father died when I was in college, and we’re not in great touch with what’s left of his side of the family, and I didn’t want the Adcocks, our Adcocks, the Adcocks with the balls, to name their children ridiculous things like “Dick” — twice — and then, later, “Siobhan,” to perish from this Earth. I kept my name.

I am also lazy and didn’t want to deal with a lot of paperwork.

Adcock it is, then. Forever.

13. I always thought that when I finally had a kid I’d name her Jane, or Kate, or Mary. But I didn’t. We gave out daughter a name that combined our grandmothers’ names. It’s phonetic, at least, but it’s not super-recognizable or common. You don’t actually want a common name, I’ve found. After 40-plus years as Siobhan Adcock (God, when you say it out loud, there’s even the suggestion of “nads” in there — it really might be the second filthiest name ever, after Big Dick Adcock), I now know that an uncommon name gives you something to live up to, and that’s both a challenge and a stroke of luck. So we gave her a name that people will ask her annoying questions about all her life.

14. When I was in college, I worked at the library. And one day, this guy came in. And he checked out some books. And when he left, I kept the screen open on his record and just stared at it for a while, feeling like some previously unknown, oddly comforting corner of the universe had arrived before me, and called out its name:

Anil Dikshit.

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About TueNight:
TueNight is a weekly online publication for women to share where they’ve been and explore where they want to go next. We’re nobody’s Ma’am. www.tuenight.com

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Wolf Extra Tough Dog Toy

Wolf Extra Tough Dog Toy


Wolf Extra Tough Dog Toy. Bring the inner wolf out in your pup with this mighty toy! Soft on the outside with tough internal materials. No hard edges discourage bad chewing habits. Pets should be supervised when playing with toys as no toy is completely indestructible. Features: -Multiple layers of flexible materials -Plush outside, no hard edges -Great for tough chewers who want plush -Includes squeaker Sizes: 7.5 x 5.5 x 3 in.
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